Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

Sheep posted:

I was specifically requested to wear a tie today and turns out I have no dress shirts I can do the top button on nor do I even own a blazer and I have exactly one barely passable suit I bought at Macy's, ask me about still not being professional at 36.

I'm wearing flannel pyjama pants rn

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:28

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 20:22

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Methanar posted:

I'm wearing flannel pyjama pants rn

Briton spotted.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:29

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Dick Trauma posted:

This really confused me.

My only friends are the machines who can't run away :smith:

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:32

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Sheep posted:

I was specifically requested to wear a tie today and turns out I have no dress shirts I can do the top button on nor do I even own a blazer and I have exactly one barely passable suit I bought at Macy's, ask me about still not being professional at 36.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:45

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Captain Ironblood posted:

I get tickets like this and inevitably after the four years this would be the very first time the user has actually told anyone

I don't usually get these as tickets so much as overhearing people complain about something around the proverbial water cooler, or out for drinks or whatever.

:argh:

Fuckin' IT, this stupid thing is ruining my life, I can't believe IT/ops/whoever can't fix it, bunch of dipshits
:v:

Uh, what? That's the first I'm hearing about this issue, but it would take me like an hour to fix, and I'd be more than happy to! Sounds like it's really slowing you down
:argh:

Fuckin' IT hurgle burg...wait what!? You mean I've dealt with this poo poo for the last 4 years for absolutely no reason? And you can make it go away? :glomp:

Usually it's because whoever you've replaced, or are working alongside, is incompetent and/or an rear end in a top hat and told the person that their perfectly reasonable request was impossible. Or they just assumed that would be the response due to prior bad experiences. This sucks, but it also feels good to get those easy wins that make someones life 100x better.

edit: vvv lmao. Maybe someday you'll look as good as my avatar, Stripe :smuggo:

Docjowles fucked around with this message at 01:49 on Jan 24, 2018

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:47

MC Fruit Stripe: Nov 26, 2002; around and around we go

^^ Look people, we've been over this, don't post in between my hitting reply and my hitting post.

That is basically what I think I look like when I put on a tie.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:47

ghostinmyshell: Sep 17, 2004; I am very particular about biscuits, I'll have you know.

I'm learning SCCM and it's driving me insane how much I have to wait for this application to do anything or get results. I'm always 30 seconds too impatient waiting for a report or checking if a deployment is going on. Error message gently caress! Oh I didn't wait 3 hours for it to fix itself up.

Also what the hell is with unknown compliance servers for Windows Updates if I check and see updates were installed.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 04:14

mr_gay_sex_fan: Dec 20, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

I got fired from my low-tier IT contract job after two weeks.

It's an organization that services schools. It was a division of their company that supports the digital goods the organization provides to schools.

So I was contracted to this place for six months. First three weeks are training, I do as well as anybody there during the first week. Second two weeks are basically mock assignments after real cases. You get four cases, you are not supposed resolve all of them by the end of the third week. Really, not technical stuff at all.

Early last week I got started on these assignments and used the wrong formatting in one of the emails I sent. I get called into a meeting with my team-lead and someone else I hadn't seen before. This stranger starts harshly criticizing the email I sent, to the point of rudeness, that I say "Guys, just say 'stick to the template. The rest of that other stuff isn't constructive.' " The thing was that these two had the tenor and demeanor of two young men who were practicing at giving feedback and didn't know what to say and what not to say. Also, the only issue here was I didn't use the correct format in an email (as in greeting, signature, structure etc).

Rest of the week I get on with my mock cases, and on Thursday there's even bowling!

On Tuesday morning I get informed by the contracting-company not go in because Monday was my last day and the company in question had felt that "you weren't doing your assigned tasks and your attitude made it hard to give feedback."

The thing is that I was doing better than other people there on the assignments.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 04:17

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

mr_gay_sex_fan posted:

I got fired from my low-tier IT contract job after two weeks.

It's an organization that services schools. It was a division of their company that supports the digital goods the organization provides to schools.

So I was contracted to this place for six months. First three weeks are training, I do as well as anybody there during the first week. Second two weeks are basically mock assignments after real cases. You get four cases, you are not supposed resolve all of them by the end of the third week. Really, not technical stuff at all.

Early last week I got started on these assignments and used the wrong formatting in one of the emails I sent. I get called into a meeting with my team-lead and someone else I hadn't seen before. This stranger starts harshly criticizing the email I sent, to the point of rudeness, that I say "Guys, just say 'stick to the template. The rest of that other stuff isn't constructive.' " The thing was that these two had the tenor and demeanor of two young men who were practicing at giving feedback and didn't know what to say and what not to say. Also, the only issue here was I didn't use the correct format in an email (as in greeting, signature, structure etc).

Rest of the week I get on with my mock cases, and on Thursday there's even bowling!

On Tuesday morning I get informed by the contracting-company not go in because Monday was my last day and the company in question had felt that "you weren't doing your assigned tasks and your attitude made it hard to give feedback."

The thing is that I was doing better than other people there on the assignments.

They sound like shitheels, it'll lead to you being open to doing something way better!

# ? Jan 24, 2018 04:21

The Iron Rose: May 12, 2012; Cat Army

mr_gay_sex_fan posted:

I got fired from my low-tier IT contract job after two weeks.

It's an organization that services schools. It was a division of their company that supports the digital goods the organization provides to schools.

So I was contracted to this place for six months. First three weeks are training, I do as well as anybody there during the first week. Second two weeks are basically mock assignments after real cases. You get four cases, you are not supposed resolve all of them by the end of the third week. Really, not technical stuff at all.

Early last week I got started on these assignments and used the wrong formatting in one of the emails I sent. I get called into a meeting with my team-lead and someone else I hadn't seen before. This stranger starts harshly criticizing the email I sent, to the point of rudeness, that I say "Guys, just say 'stick to the template. The rest of that other stuff isn't constructive.' " The thing was that these two had the tenor and demeanor of two young men who were practicing at giving feedback and didn't know what to say and what not to say. Also, the only issue here was I didn't use the correct format in an email (as in greeting, signature, structure etc).

Rest of the week I get on with my mock cases, and on Thursday there's even bowling!

On Tuesday morning I get informed by the contracting-company not go in because Monday was my last day and the company in question had felt that "you weren't doing your assigned tasks and your attitude made it hard to give feedback."

The thing is that I was doing better than other people there on the assignments.

That job sounds like a loving hellscape, jesus. Might have dodged a bullet there, lovely as it sounds.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 04:24

Sudden Loud Noise: Feb 18, 2007

ghostinmyshell posted:

I'm learning SCCM and it's driving me insane how much I have to wait for this application to do anything or get results. I'm always 30 seconds too impatient waiting for a report or checking if a deployment is going on. Error message gently caress! Oh I didn't wait 3 hours for it to fix itself up.

Also what the hell is with unknown compliance servers for Windows Updates if I check and see updates were installed.

If you're having SCCM problems get more RAM. SMSEXEC hanging? More RAM. Low compliance on an OS deployment? More RAM. Client health issue? Rebuild your entire SCCM infrastructure and AD forest.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 04:37

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

The Iron Rose posted:

That job sounds like a loving hellscape, jesus. Might have dodged a bullet there, lovely as it sounds.

Agreed, that entire thing sound awful. How many loving weeks of training? Good lord.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 05:14

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

Not formatting an email correctly? lol what a disaster.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 05:18

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Internet Explorer posted:

Agreed, that entire thing sound awful. How many loving weeks of training? Good lord.

It sounds like they were a robot manufacturing company churning out bog-standard IT workers who do the most basic uninteresting tasks.

If my second week of training consisted of 'practice tickets' on which my response emails are graded, they're going to get the lowest level of effort from me while I hop back on indeed and linkedin.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 05:29

Captain Ironblood: Nov 9, 2009

Just spent a few hours spinning up a postfix server just so I can send out emails w/ 🍆 in the address, time well spent

# ? Jan 24, 2018 05:34

Aunt Beth: Feb 24, 2006; Baby, you're ready!; Grimey Drawer

Judge Schnoopy posted:

A buddy of mine has been a server for 6 or 7 years and is happy pulling down 65k

No server will ever need more than 64k. If it�s consuming that much something is wrong. Just shoot it in the head and spin up a new one.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 06:10

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

Aunt Beth posted:

No server will ever need more than 64k. If it�s consuming that much something is wrong. Just shoot it in the head and spin up a new one.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 06:11

Cirofren: Jun 13, 2005; Pillbug

We can't spin up any new servers. Microsoft are telling us there's no more capacity in our Azure region.

Thanks to our networking and express routes it's not as simple (from a financial or config perspective) as just spinning up extra servers in another region.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 07:07

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

That is loving hilarious. *cloud!*

# ? Jan 24, 2018 07:11

Cirofren: Jun 13, 2005; Pillbug

Someone is trying to blame our architect for not validating this region had capacity for this project's target state. I can't blame them for not being in the habit of asking if a cloud provider can support a couple dozen extra vcpus though. We're not Netflix, we don't even have 2k users.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 07:19

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Internet Explorer posted:

Agreed, that entire thing sound awful. How many loving weeks of training? Good lord.

You could sign on with us. You'll shadow us for two weeks and then start taking tickets. Your ops manual is the outdated SOPs on the server and your notes on stuff people say. Good hunting.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 08:00

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Cirofren posted:

Someone is trying to blame our architect for not validating this region had capacity for this project's target state. I can't blame them for not being in the habit of asking if a cloud provider can support a couple dozen extra vcpus though. We're not Netflix, we don't even have 2k users.

Also I doubt you�d get Microsoft to make any statement about capacity other than �we have some now� or �we don�t have any right now�.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 09:03

Sefal: Nov 8, 2011; Fun Shoe

Avenging_Mikon posted:

woohoo! Had my first annual review this morning, then the bosses took me out to lunch at Kyoto. Got bumped from $16/hr to $18/hr.

A bit late but congrats!

# ? Jan 24, 2018 10:21

Cirofren: Jun 13, 2005; Pillbug

Thanks Ants posted:

Also I doubt you�d get Microsoft to make any statement about capacity other than �we have some now� or �we don�t have any right now�.

Yeah this is probably right. They wouldn't tell us poo poo about latency or bandwidth of the express routes we have before we purchased them.

Edit: they good routes though

Cirofren fucked around with this message at 10:55 on Jan 24, 2018

# ? Jan 24, 2018 10:50

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Looks like there's a massive Colt outage going on :toot:

They're complete poo poo when they work so this is fun.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 10:50

DONT TOUCH THE PC: Jul 15, 2001; You should try it, it's a real buzz.

Thanks Ants posted:

Looks like there's a massive Colt outage going on

They're complete poo poo when they work so this is fun.

ah so that's what happened, I had 50 people complaining to me when I entered the office.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 11:43

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

Thanks Ants posted:

Also I doubt you�d get Microsoft to make any statement about capacity other than �we have some now� or �we don�t have any right now�.

We�ve always had good results with AWS of giving them a lead of when we are going to a new region and they buy and provision hardware to make sure we don�t gently caress up the region we�re entering. It might be because we�re dropping in 250-300 new instances day one and they don�t want us making GBS threads all over everything.... which I would assume Microsoft wouldn�t want either.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 13:15

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

mr_gay_sex_fan posted:

I got fired from my low-tier IT contract job after two weeks.

It's an organization that services schools. It was a division of their company that supports the digital goods the organization provides to schools.

So I was contracted to this place for six months. First three weeks are training, I do as well as anybody there during the first week. Second two weeks are basically mock assignments after real cases. You get four cases, you are not supposed resolve all of them by the end of the third week. Really, not technical stuff at all.

Early last week I got started on these assignments and used the wrong formatting in one of the emails I sent. I get called into a meeting with my team-lead and someone else I hadn't seen before. This stranger starts harshly criticizing the email I sent, to the point of rudeness, that I say "Guys, just say 'stick to the template. The rest of that other stuff isn't constructive.' " The thing was that these two had the tenor and demeanor of two young men who were practicing at giving feedback and didn't know what to say and what not to say. Also, the only issue here was I didn't use the correct format in an email (as in greeting, signature, structure etc).

Rest of the week I get on with my mock cases, and on Thursday there's even bowling!

On Tuesday morning I get informed by the contracting-company not go in because Monday was my last day and the company in question had felt that "you weren't doing your assigned tasks and your attitude made it hard to give feedback."

The thing is that I was doing better than other people there on the assignments.

I used to have a boss that would call meetings and proceed to belittle the team about something that we did "wrong". It's something that could have been addressed in a 5 minute conversation but invariably stretched out to a 30 minute to an hour long "discussion".

Why is the loving e-mail template so important?

Condolences on losing your job but I'm sure you'll find something soon.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 15:25

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Virigoth posted:

We�ve always had good results with AWS of giving them a lead of when we are going to a new region and they buy and provision hardware to make sure we don�t gently caress up the region we�re entering. It might be because we�re dropping in 250-300 new instances day one and they don�t want us making GBS threads all over everything.... which I would assume Microsoft wouldn�t want either.

For what it's worth, I've spun up 10,000 cores (the maximum you can enter in the quota increase form) in East US at once with no unexpected side effects

Vargatron posted:

I used to have a boss that would call meetings and proceed to belittle the team about something that we did "wrong". It's something that could have been addressed in a 5 minute conversation but invariably stretched out to a 30 minute to an hour long "discussion".

I like the Manager Tools feedback model.

"Hey John, can I give you some feedback?"
"Sure."
"When you do X, it slows us down. Can you do that differently next time?"

This isn't the lead-in. This is the entire performance management conversation for this issue, because you're working with grownups.

Vargatron posted:

Why is the loving e-mail template so important?

Guaranteed these are ex-mil people.

Vulture Culture fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Jan 24, 2018

# ? Jan 24, 2018 15:31

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Isn't the point of being a manager to equip your team for success and facilitate that success? I mean I guess I had the wrong impression because my previous boss was an intense micromanager and constantly played team members against each other.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 15:39

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

Vargatron posted:

Isn't the point of being a manager to equip your team for success and facilitate that success? I mean I guess I had the wrong impression because my previous boss was an intense micromanager and constantly played team members against each other.

Some people think "creating competition" by playing team members against themselves is good management. Some people have mental/emotional problems and literally can't help themselves, even if they know it's negatively impacting their business. Separately, and unrelated to my last comment, I've also met way too many ex-military who thought that taking their experience from the military and applying it to the civilian tech industry is the correct and only way to do things.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 15:49

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Vargatron posted:

Isn't the point of being a manager to equip your team for success and facilitate that success? I mean I guess I had the wrong impression because my previous boss was an intense micromanager and constantly played team members against each other.

The point of being a manager is to increase your own visibility by standing on the backs of your team, so that you can manage more and more people and grow an ever-larger human pyramid beneath your boots.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:06

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

Managerial success is measured in numbers of direct reports and bonuses. Nothing else matters.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:10

hihifellow: Jun 17, 2005; seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

Vulture Culture posted:

For what it's worth, I've spun up 10,000 cores (the maximum you can enter in the quota increase form) in East US at once with no unexpected side effects

I ran in to problems once when I tried to spin up an NV instance in East US, but all that took was a ticket to Microsoft asking pretty please.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:23

MC Fruit Stripe: Nov 26, 2002; around and around we go

I spent my entire time as manager deflecting body blows to my team and picking fights with leadership about staffing levels and workloads. I now have no direct reports. Learn from me, child. Next time I'm in power it's yes sir no sir.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:30

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Sigh, I was just informed that I am required to lower some of my review scores for my team to meet the "level set" for the department. I refused, so I am probably going to get fired. I offered to discuss any review that they felt was unjustified or out of line and work toward a resolution, but I wasn't going to arbitrarily assign scores and deliver them as my own. Got the "Well, you've got some hard decisions to make." The decision's already made.

:[

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:51

Sefal: Nov 8, 2011; Fun Shoe

Yikes

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:53

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

AlternateAccount posted:

Sigh, I was just informed that I am required to lower some of my review scores for my team to meet the "level set" for the department. I refused, so I am probably going to get fired. I offered to discuss any review that they felt was unjustified or out of line and work toward a resolution, but I wasn't going to arbitrarily assign scores and deliver them as my own. Got the "Well, you've got some hard decisions to make." The decision's already made.

:[

That's hosed.

(That they'd ask you to do that, not your refusal)

# ? Jan 24, 2018 16:56

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

Man, this thread has got me down on being a manager in IT this morning. Not that I needed much help with that, but still.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one who deals with that kind of bullshit, but depressing that it's so widespread and people are so bad at their jobs.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 17:04

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 20:22

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

CLAM DOWN posted:

That's hosed.

(That they'd ask you to do that, not your refusal)

The only justification is that some of them rated themselves lower than I did, by a small fraction. Whose opinion matters more? We're going to penalize them for modesty?

My boss(this bullshit directive came from higher up) is telling me hey, it's common at every company, just deliver the numbers you're given, it doesn't matter, everyone knows it's bullshit. Am I a complete dick for not wanting to participate in a giant stupid lie, even if everyone knows its a lie? I've agreed to deliver any handed down numbers they give me, but not to edit my review without justification.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 17:07

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