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Gaz-L
Jan 28, 2009
Yeah, it's not a great match by technical standards, but it's absolutely the right match for the crowd and the story.

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El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

Jerusalem posted:

The first time I saw Hogan/Warrior as a kid I lost my goddamn little mind.

I watched it again years later expecting to eye it more critically, and ending up losing my goddamn little mind all over again.

The best modern comparison is, ironically, Hulk Hogan vs The Rock at Wrestlemania 18.

The only better Warrior matches are the really great Summerslam match with Rude, and the career vs. career match with Savage

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
Kinda spoilery there, but agreed.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

Shiki Dan posted:

Kinda spoilery there, but agreed.

Yeah, I really didn't want to know that was coming at some point :(

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

C'mon guys, do I have to edit the title or something? NO SPOILERS!

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Summerslam 1990: Ted DiBiase Makes Sound Financial Investments

What I Think I Know

  • Due to searching the wrong thing on Youtube I discovered that the Ultimate Warrior's going up against Rick Rude in a cage match which oh my god, yes please
  • I also think that Hulk's going up against Earthquake and it's going to main event above the champion and I'm going to be really mad



It's summer 1990, little Rarity is pestering her Mum for an ice cream and across the Atlantic we're stepping into a brand new era of the WWF. How will they fare in a post-Jesse world? It's time to find out with Summerslam 1990! As is starting to become tradition we open with a shouty Vince intro as he sets up tonight's double main event. The matches are exactly as I expected and – oh gently caress yes! - my boy Rick Rude is getting a shot at the WWF Title. Oh boy, you guys better watch out because I'm going to be going nuts for that one.


I believe in you, buddy!

We are live from the Spectrum in Philadelphia, PE where we're about to answer the question of who can step into the big empty pink-glittery cowboy boots of Jesse. And it looks like Gino is so upset by Jesse's departure that he's had to take some compassionate leave because we have an entirely fresh pairing at the announce desk tonight where the action will be called by Vince McMahon as play-by-play and providing the colour will be... Rowdy Roddy Piper! Wow, I was not expecting that one. After fifteen seconds it's clear that Piper is already coked up to hell. This is going to be an interesting night.

The Rockers vs. Power and Glory w/ Slick

For the second PPV in a row the Rockers have been sent in there with the newbies as we see Power and Glory for the first time. So just who are Power and Glory? Well, one half is none other than Herc' who has turned heel again in a desperate attempt to cling to relevancy. And fair play to the lad, he's showing some incredible longevity for an undercard jobber. He's joined on this team by Paul Roma. Yes, I'm talking about one time youthful stallion Paul Roma who we haven't seen in like at least two years. So I'm guessing Herc' is the power and I guess that makes Roma... the glory? Yikes, these guys are going nowhere fast.

As the Rockers make their way to the ring Vince calls this match “a humdinger”. I think he's being a touch hyperbolic. Meanwhile, Piper shares some scuttlebutt that the Rockers have been “dating a few too many young ladies”. Hey they're just living the gimmick, buddy. It's 1990, kayfabe's not dead. Anyway, before the Rockers reach the ring Herc' and Roma jump them on the outside to take the early advantage.


Besides, there's no such thing as 'too many young ladies'

They beat on Shawn to sideline him but Marty comes into the ring where he hits a series of hiptosses to both men. Roma goes for a crossbody but Marty ducks and he flies into Herc's arms. Herc's able to catch him but Marty connects with a dropkick that takes them both out. He follows up with a rollup but the ref gets distracted by Slick so the three count gets missed. This ref is having an absolute shambles so far. Get your poo poo together, dude.

On the outside Shawn is having no luck at all. Herc' and Roma are essentially playing Whack-A-Shawn over there. Every time he starts pulling himself up one of them comes around and knocks his rear end back down again. All of which means this match is boiling down to a two-on-one. Herc' nails a gorilla press slam but Marty reverses a body slam into a small package. Roma is meant to come in and break the pin but he totally fluffs it so the ref decides to declare that Herc' had already tagged out. Dude, he really blatantly hadn't.


How do you tag out when your partner's in the ring?

Marty's on a bit of a roll now. He hits a powerslam on Roma and prevents Herc' from interfering with a superkick. He follows up with a top rope fist drop to Roma but he just hasn't got an answer for the extra man and eats a double flapjack. Geez Shawn, feeling a bit lazy tonight, aren't you? Herc' connects with a stiff clothesline that vaguely resembles the Herc' I fell in love with back in the day. Shawn's still writhing around on the outside doing gently caress all. Godammit, this is what you get for spending all your time partying with the ladies.

Sure enough, Herc' and Roma take the victory with an insane superplex and body splash combo move. That's really cool, I have no idea what to call it. Herc' and Roma aren't going to settle for just a win though. They grab Shawn, who did literally nothing all match, and lay in a beatdown until refs spill out of the locker room to break it up. To cement his 'feckless idiot' status the medic team comes out and takes Shawn off on a stretcher. Hahaha, you absolute muppet.


You really pulled a Marty tonight, Shawn

While I'm sure I would have enjoyed a straight up tag match between these guys more, I did like the story they told here. You might think I'd be mad at the way they're turning the Rockers into useless idiot goobers but it keeps on being too funny for me to get angry. I hope they lose their next match because Shawn goes for a superkick and slips on a banana skin. As for Herc' and Roma I still don't understand why they're teaming together but it feels like Herc's got purpose again for the first time in years and I remember Roma being the slightly less poo poo Young Stallion so I'm optimistic to see what comes of them.

To the back we go to Sean Mooney for our first interview of the night and it's with Curt Hennig. And it's all change in the Hennig camp because he's traded in the Genius for someone even smarter, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. But more importantly Hennig's only gone and bloomin' won the Intercontinental title! gently caress yes! I can't tell you how excited I was to see him with the belt around his waist. I'm so glad that despite jobbing at WM6 he's still being treated as legit.


That neon singlet don't leave much to the imagination

So Hennig will be defending his title against the Texas Tornado tonight and he's had to prepare at last minute. However, he's not concerned and he finds it hard being perfect because decent challengers are hard to find. Heenan says that Tornado has his “head in the clouds” so he doesn't have his “feet on the ground” and adds that tornadoes may look ferocious but all they do is whip up dust and knock over some trailer homes. Ooh, beautiful promo. Even though half my attention was on Hennig's nips.

Somewhere close by Zombie Mean Gene is with the Texas Tornado. He thinks that Hennig should watch out for the tornado coming out of the black cloud above him because it's “powerful, unpredictable and devastating”. Oh lord, please not again with the natural disaster puns. It's bad enough with Earthquake, I really don't need more reason for them.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Rarity posted:

Sure enough, Herc' and Roma take the victory with an insane superplex and body splash combo move. That's really cool, I have no idea what to call it.
They'll dub it the Powerplex once the team gets rolling. Sweet limburger that was a neat move.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Rarity posted:


Sure enough, Herc' and Roma take the victory with an insane superplex and body splash combo move. That's really cool, I have no idea what to call it.


It was dubbed the "Powerplex"

And Power & Glory had a fun match with The Orient Express that was on one of the old Coliseum Videos, mainly because of the interactions of Mr Fuji and Slick at ringside.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

This sounds like a "health supplement"

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
Yeah, Hennig won the I-C Title in a tournament created by Warrior vacating it after WM6.
It culminated in the Finals on a SNME against Tito Santana in a decent match which happened to be the very first wrestling show I had ever seen, so big nostalgia rush for me.

Also the Herc and Roma heel turn may seem a little odd, but it did involve the Rockers so storyline continuity and all of that,
BONUS: Rugged Ronnie Garvin enjoying a WWF Ice Cream Bar (which weren't all that bad, honestly).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OKUHSd0gIs

and their future team-up was foreshadowed a month earlier when Roma came to help Herc after he lost a match to Rick Martel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2ea34qo5WE&#t=10m00s

Shiki Dan fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Jan 22, 2018

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Also yeah, that IC title tournament was kind of fun in spite of most of the matches ending in bullshit. Burtus vs Dino Bravo went to a double countout, Martel vs Piper went to a double DQ (admittedly a fun one involving Martel attacking Piper with Arrogance and Piper attacking Martel with a chair). Lots of "Double elimination, this guy gets a bye" stuff

Also I remember the Perfect vs Tito final had one of the funniest moves I've ever seen. They do the criss-cross, one guy falls down for the other guy to jump over him thing (you know the bit), except after he falls down and Tito jumps, Perfect pushes up just enough to trip Tito's rear end out of the ring

DeathChicken fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Jan 22, 2018

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

DeathChicken posted:

Martel vs Piper went to a double DQ

You don't say? :monocle:

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


I believe Michaels went into that match legit hurt, which explains why they booked it around him never entering the ring.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

The WWE ice cream bars were delicious

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Mr. Perfect and Bobby Heenan was such a great (dare I say, perfect?) team-up.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

There was this squash match I loved from Superstars where the random jobber inexplicably started beating the crap out of Perfect from the opening bell. After a few minutes of this, Heenan pulls Perfect out and basically goes "Stop messing around, you're going to lose to this guy". Perfect gets back in and goes ape on jobber, Perfectplex and the win

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Intercontinental Title Match
The Texas Tornado vs. Curt Hennig w/ Bobby Heenan


The bass drums roll and the cellos strum as Hennig walks out to the ring with the IC belt in hand and holy gently caress I love this so much. Give me all this, please. And please, if somebody can link me the match where Hennig wins the belt then do it. I will watch the hell out of that. Piper says that Hennig's found himself a perfect girlfriend from Minneapolis with hair all over her body. And what's wrong with that, Roddy? Expand your restricted societal notions of beauty already, seriously.

Tornado comes out to and aw jesus, his theme is so bad, It's the same chord repeated over and over again. Hang your head in shame, Jim Johnston. Ooh, he's Kerry Von Erich! I know who that is! Although my knowledge of the Von Erichs doesn't go much beyond hearing of them and knowing of vague terrible things in their family history. I've got to admit I'm a bit surprised, I thought these guys were around a good 15-20 years earlier than this.

As the bell rings Vince says this match will be “a whirlwind”. Ugh. Just stop. There's instantly deafening “WEASEL” chants from the crowd for Heenan, good to see that they're hot tonight. Hennig throws Kerry around the ring and then heads over to Heenan to get a patdown from his towel. Haha, Hennig you're such an rear end in a top hat. I love it. Kerry fires back with a snappy hiptoss and a body slam. Piper keeps on questioning whether Hennig is as perfect as he claims and I don't get Piper's hateboner for Hennig here but it's really pissing me off. You're meant to be the heel commentator, don't poo poo on the guy who you're there to put over. Especially don't poo poo by blowing up one of the best gimmicks in the company.


Kerry with a whirlwind of offence

Hennig takes control with a necksnap and slaps on a sleeper hold but Kerry manages to make his way to the ropes. This is a nice little affair so far. Kerry's got a fast style and it vibes with Hennig's well. This is what you call good ring chemistry. Kerry slingshots Hennig into the turnbuckle and he does his fantastic head-bouncing-off-the-ringpost sell. It's a thing of beauty. Kerry puts on a claw hold then punches Hennig so fast he spins around 3 times before he lands. Kerry makes the cover and wins the title.

No really, I mean it.

Yeah, boo to that. Hennig gets back to his feet and instantly falls out of the ring which is hilarious. I think I've realised why I love Hennig so much. He's basically a Looney Tunes bad guy. He stumbles off to the back clutching his head while Kerry celebrates. I did not see that one coming.

My thoughts on this one are mixed. The action we did see was fun and I was starting to get really into it but the match got cut off at its knees. It felt like we were still in the early stages and then the finish came out of nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I am of course bummed out that Hennig didn't leave with the title but if he'd lost it in a lengthy back-and-forth match then I wouldn't have minded. I really got the impression that these guys could have put on a showcase if someone had given them the chance.

Uh oh! Zombie Mean Gene is supposed to be speaking to Sapphire for an interview but she's nowhere to be found. It's fine, I'm sure this won't cause any issues tonight. She's probably just getting extra polka dots added on her jumper. However, while he's standing around Heenan shows up and starts fuming about injustice. He says that Kerry broke every rule going and when Zombie Mean Gene presses him for details Heenan threatens to knock him out. Hey! I will not settle for any violence towards my favourite undead backstage interviewer! Plus, you'd only stagger him and then he'd be biting into your flesh so don't even go there, Heenan.


Zombie Mean Gene charades game would have been tight save for the lack of a partner

Hennig staggers into join them and yells that Kerry's come onto the scene and changed the scene for Hennig but he's coming back for the belt and he's never been humiliated before. It's a confusing and rambling promo but he's just been kayfabe knocked out by the ringpost so I'll let it slide. Both men keep up their protests and Zombie Mean Gene's heard enough of this so he tells them that they're out of line and cuts the interview off. At no point tonight do we get an interview with the new Intercontinental champion so I'm thinking his title reign is not looking promising.

Sensational Sherri vs. Sweet Sapphire

Oh my god, seriously? Who's idea was this? Did you not see how terrible Sapphire was at WM6? Ok, the match was comedy and they just about made it work the one time but you can't keep going like this. Sherri is so much better than this. Ok, from what little I've seen she's not amazing in the ring but even Rockin' Robin would deserve better than this. I can't believe they're kept this feud going and I think it really speaks to the lack of female diversity on the roster. Sherri and Sapphire are literally the only two women we've got right now and it's time that aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa what the gently caress what the gently caress what the gently caress what the gently caress.




I DON'T LIKE THIS!

Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with her? Seriously, every time I think that Sherri has managed to reach the top of the creepy scale she comes back stronger and takes it to a whole new level. Seriously, what kind of thought process goes on that this is the end result? It's bizarre and horrifying and absolutely nuts. Please make her go away, mommy.

Ok, I guess I'd better try and look past Sherri freaking my poo poo out and get to the match. She's waiting in the ring and Dusty's music plays but there's no sign of her. Sherri's acting confused and they try playing Dusty's theme again but there's still nada. Yeah, yeah, furrow your brow all you want, Sherri. We all know you've done a pre-match beatdown so you can win by forfeit. It's like one of the top tactics in the heel handbook.

It's looking like Sapphire's going to do a full no-show now. Piper says that someone should “give Sapphire a slap on the bum”. No, they shouldn't because that is sexual harassment and when it comes to sexual harassment the only advice to follow is J.R.'s. Don't try this at home, at school or anywhere. A dumb nerd comes out from the back to pass some information up to Finkel and I've got to applaud this guy because in two minutes of screen time and zero mic time he's managed to bag himself a Rarity Award!

WORST HAIR


It's like if Donald Trump was going bald in denial

With an official ruling from the guys in charge Finkel announces that if Sapphire doesn't show up in the next thirty seconds then she's going to forfeit the match. Sherri acts all upset that she won't get to compete but I know her game and it ain't Yahtzee. Finkel begins the countdown but as he reaches ten seconds Sherri grabs the mic to take over, screaming the whole way through. Sapphire doesn't show and Sherri wins by default. She jumps up and down in celebration.As do I when I realise I don't have to sit through a loving Sapphire match. This was the smartest way they could do this one really.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

DeathChicken posted:

There was this squash match I loved from Superstars where the random jobber inexplicably started beating the crap out of Perfect from the opening bell. After a few minutes of this, Heenan pulls Perfect out and basically goes "Stop messing around, you're going to lose to this guy". Perfect gets back in and goes ape on jobber, Perfectplex and the win

Hennig just owned that smug-rear end bastard character, and like Bret Hart he had a bunch of moves that just looked evil, like his running neck snap, or that trip + kneebreaker combo thing.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
The one in which Sherri rips off Psychosis's look.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Asuka furiously takes down notes

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine
Hennig versus Tito in the final of the I-C Title Tournament:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1bsAeyj8QA

Slightly marred by the fact that they didn't even have the real belt at the arena and had use one of the Tag Title belts as a pretend prop.

Also Piper isn't really meant to be a heel commentator, although he does occasionally make a few snide comments about faces that he used to feud with, like Hogan and Snuka.

Shiki Dan fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Jan 25, 2018

RC and Moon Pie
May 5, 2011

Checking some of the Von Erich family timeline.

Unbelievably, Kerry's only 30 here. He'd won the NWA world title in 1984, which seems so much earlier. Seems weird to me that even with his baggage, that he didn't surface in WCW.

I don't know if it's a spoiler or not to mention that Kerry was working with just one foot after losing it after a motorcycle accident. And drat, I thought Chris was already dead at this point, not while Kerry was in the WWF. Poor Kerry's life was completely messed up. I don't see how he even kinda held himself together for as long as he did.

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010

DeathChicken posted:

There was this squash match I loved from Superstars where the random jobber inexplicably started beating the crap out of Perfect from the opening bell. After a few minutes of this, Heenan pulls Perfect out and basically goes "Stop messing around, you're going to lose to this guy". Perfect gets back in and goes ape on jobber, Perfectplex and the win

Link?


Hennig vs Santana was pretty good, not too surprised, though. They had like, 6-7 minutes, and told a good story.

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

RC and Moon Pie posted:

Checking some of the Von Erich family timeline.

Unbelievably, Kerry's only 30 here. He'd won the NWA world title in 1984, which seems so much earlier. Seems weird to me that even with his baggage, that he didn't surface in WCW.

I don't know if it's a spoiler or not to mention that Kerry was working with just one foot after losing it after a motorcycle accident. And drat, I thought Chris was already dead at this point, not while Kerry was in the WWF. Poor Kerry's life was completely messed up. I don't see how he even kinda held himself together for as long as he did.

Considering he was drugged out of his gord the entire time, it's a charitable defition of holding it together.

Numero6
Oct 10, 2012

ここは地の果て 流されて俺
今日もさすらい 涙も涸れる
ブルーゲイル

Rarity posted:

WORST HAIR


It's like if Donald Trump was going bald in denial
That was Rene Goulet who used to be a jobber in the WWF.

Tokyo Sexwale
Jul 30, 2003

Rene Goulet was a one-time Tag Team Champion in the WWWF, no mere jobber he!

Also, anyone who was around at the same time as Kerry Von Erich has said dude was on a shitload of drugs, pretty much all the time.

What I want to know is, did he do the discus punch finisher before he went to the WWF, or was it something Vince gave him to go with his "Texas Tornado" thing? (fun fact: his pre-WWF nickname was Modern Day Warrior, but much like future warriors, Vince McMahon renamed him because he was convinced people would confuse him with the Ultimate Warrior.)

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"


He looked Warrior like with his hair and boots.

RC and Moon Pie
May 5, 2011

C. Everett Koop posted:

Considering he was drugged out of his gord the entire time, it's a charitable defition of holding it together.

Simply being alive and occasionally making towns was my bar here. Not a high bar but he wasn't clearing by much more five years earlier in World Class.

remusclaw
Dec 8, 2009

Open Marriage Night posted:

He looked Warrior like with his hair and boots.

And thus was one of the names that came up when Warrior death and replacement conspiracy theory's started going around.

remusclaw fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Jan 25, 2018

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

Jerusalem posted:

Asuka furiously takes down notes

It turns out it is possible for me to like Asuka more than I currently do :stare:

Shiki Dan posted:

Hennig versus Tito in the final of the I-C Title Tournament:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1bsAeyj8QA

Thanks for this! The match wasn't great but it made me happy and I liked the Heenan run-in

RC and Moon Pie posted:

I don't know if it's a spoiler or not to mention that Kerry was working with just one foot

I'm unspoiling this because what the gently caress how :psyduck:

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Rarity posted:

I'm unspoiling this because what the gently caress how :psyduck:

Doctor: Okay you just had surgery do not walk on that foot.

Kerry Von Erich: *walks on foot* ARGH

Doctor: Welp gotta amputate now.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Also it's not a spoiler (probably) because this happened in 1986.

rare Magic card l00k fucked around with this message at 19:43 on Jan 25, 2018

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

rare Magic card l00k posted:

Doctor: Okay you just had surgery do not walk on that foot.

Kerry Von Erich: *walks on foot* ARGH

Doctor: Welp gotta amputate now.

Then what the gently caress's holding his leg up? :gonk:

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


rare Magic card l00k posted:

Also it's not a spoiler (probably) because this happened in 1986.

Yeah, they never mention it in his WWF run in any way. I remember being blown away hearing about it years later.

Hockles
Dec 25, 2007

Resident of Camp Blood
Crystal Lake

Rarity posted:

Then what the gently caress's holding his leg up? :gonk:

a fake foot?

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


And today Rarity learned that prosthetics existed in the 1990s.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

Hockles posted:

a fake foot?

Um, yes. Of course. Naturally. Carry on then.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Perfect and Santana also had a really good match on Saturday Night's Main Event:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8UzO_ZqBOM

Jason Sextro posted:

Rene Goulet was a one-time Tag Team Champion in the WWWF, no mere jobber he!

Also, anyone who was around at the same time as Kerry Von Erich has said dude was on a shitload of drugs, pretty much all the time.

What I want to know is, did he do the discus punch finisher before he went to the WWF, or was it something Vince gave him to go with his "Texas Tornado" thing? (fun fact: his pre-WWF nickname was Modern Day Warrior, but much like future warriors, Vince McMahon renamed him because he was convinced people would confuse him with the Ultimate Warrior.)

Yeah, he did the discus punch before WWE. WCCW like to promote that he was a championship discus thrower and would've been in the 80 Olympics if the US hadn't boycotted.

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 60 days!

rare Magic card l00k posted:

Doctor: Okay you just had surgery do not walk on that foot.

Fritz Von Erich: I don't give a gently caress what the doctor said, business is bad so hurry your rear end back in that ring!

Kerry Von Erich: *walks on foot* ARGH

Doctor: Welp gotta amputate now.

Fixed to make it more accurate. :smith:

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Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I prefer the urban legend that he walked across the room to get a cheeseburger and that's what hosed it up.

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