- Adbot
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Apr 25, 2024 23:46
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- take the moon
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by sebmojo
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i wish my dang cat would eat the mice he catches instead of dropping them so they run over my feet
e: hes also addicted to benzos
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Feb 13, 2018 02:25
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- take the moon
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by sebmojo
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my cat has started performing Arcane rituals and speaking in human english. he just keeps saying "the nameless one is coming" over and over in a kind of screeching yelp.
hes also started smoking.
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Feb 13, 2018 02:53
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- Dads Dip Cup
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my cat has started pretending to be a japanese schoolgirl, it was cute at first but now it's just getting kind of annoying
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Feb 13, 2018 07:08
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- HUSKY DILF
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aggressively chill
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cat used to post in FYAD but after getting run out is trying to make GBS cool and edgy worried he's going to get sentenced to only post here
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Feb 13, 2018 07:18
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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My cat isn't even supposed to live here. He asked if he could "crash on my couch for a week or two until I land on my feet". That was 2 years ago and he still doesn't have a job.
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Feb 13, 2018 16:16
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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My cat is barely literate and terrible at spelling, but somehow pulls out these amazing 80 point words in Words With Friends. There's no way he isn't cheating
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Feb 13, 2018 16:19
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- take the moon
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by sebmojo
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My cat isn't even supposed to live here. He asked if he could "crash on my couch for a week or two until I land on my paws."
----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Feb 13, 2018 16:24
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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My cat acts really excited to watch movies with me then spends 90% of the movie on his phone looking at pictures of mice.
mine too. then midway through he says this movie's boring and he doesn't understand what's going on.
whenever i ask my cat if he wants takeout, he says "sure, whatever's fine", but then i suggest chipotle and he's all "naah, i don't feel like mexican food" then i say "ok, how about a sandwich place?" and he's all "naah, i don't feel like sandwiches either". then we finally settle on a barbecue place and it annoys me. don't say "whatever's fine" and then shoot down 4 places in a row.
my cat doesn't replace the toilet paper roll when it runs out, he just sets the new roll on top of the old one instead of threading it into the holder. it takes like 4 seconds man, maybe 10 seconds since you don't have opposable thumbs!
he also doesn't throw away his empty shampoo bottles, but leaves them in the corner of the shower like a shampoo bottle graveyard
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Feb 13, 2018 18:28
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- I Dunno
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My cat hogs my computer watching YouTube vids for cats all day. I ask him why he can't just look out the window but he insists the videos are better.
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Feb 13, 2018 19:13
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- not ready
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My cat steals my White Russians, gets wasted and then poops on the floor.
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Feb 13, 2018 21:16
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- Ultra Spoot
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My cat steals my White Russians, gets wasted and then poops on the floor.
I mean we've all been there
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Feb 13, 2018 23:45
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- Ultra Spoot
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My friend's cat gets super excited by those tie things they use to tie bags of bread and stuff, and meows at them and plays with them constantly. It's adorable, but I just worry she's spending too much time with bread ties and not enough time getting her life on track. His other cat is the real problem though, he spends all day on twitter liking black metal cat posts and defending pedophiles.
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Feb 13, 2018 23:53
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- wearing a lampshade
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Cat keeps knocking over my glasses full of water, and when I ask him why he says it's because the glass represents what my future will be if I don't get into Bitcoin soon.
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Feb 14, 2018 00:11
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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cat eats all of my lasagna, and once tricked me into drinking dog semen
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Feb 14, 2018 00:19
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Cat saved teh lives of six million jews, making the Holocaust not real
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Feb 14, 2018 00:41
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Nazi guard: I don't get how that cat keeps saving our prisoners.
Nazi guard 2: we better not tell Hitler about this, he'll never believe it
Nazi guard: agreed, we will pretend all is going according to plan
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Feb 14, 2018 00:45
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Cat fell out of the guard tower
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Feb 14, 2018 00:45
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Cat knocked archduke Ferdinand off of a table just to see what would happen
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Feb 14, 2018 00:46
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- vanisher
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Cat makes excuses for not working out 3 times a week until he stops doing it all together
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Feb 14, 2018 01:12
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- I Dunno
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Every morning my cat wakes me up to make food, but he has never offered for once to make food for me. He also never cleans up after himself.
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Feb 14, 2018 03:43
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- Slush Garbo
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FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
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My kitty refuses to maintain her car properly, despite my repeated reminders to change the oil, rotate tires, etc...
... inevitably calls ME to come help when she has a flat tire. Some cats should just take Uber ffs
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Feb 14, 2018 05:34
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 25, 2024 23:46
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- Duckbox
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My cat keeps buying cheap "fixer upper" appliances, furniture, etc. to "flip" because it thinks it's a diy type when really it's just a cheapskate with more time than sense and now my kitchen looks like junkyard.
loving cat, why do we have three broken dishwashers? Get off Craigslist.
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Feb 14, 2018 06:44
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