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iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Welcome to the friendliest and most supportive sporting competition in the world!



Welcome back to our coverage of the most skillful, intense and manly sport in the world - Rugby League! You might think that such a physical game would make the players and fans into "thugs" and "angry loners" who would be harsh and unfriendly to newcomers and each other, but you're wrong, mate! We love you and would be honoured to hand you a cold bottle of beer at any time of the day or night! We're so nice we'll even accompany you to the bathroom, just to keep you safe. That's just the kind of sweethearts we are.

Oh, and feel free to pat our dog, he's very friendly when he gets to know you.



Whilst the NRL season is where we would normally expect most of the excitement happening in this sport, the off-season is always a wonderful font of joy for us all. Whether it's your club getting new and exciting signings, or the fact that one of the State of Origin matches will be being held in South Australia in 2020, we're all bubbling with golden stories on what seems like a regular basis. Which players will get the unexpected and wonderful opportunity to play in another country? Who will get the thrill of seeing their names in headlines, probably for their charitable actions or deeds? This is the thread for all of that wonder!



Rugby League.

Obviously the majority of posters here are well aware of what Rugby League is and how the game is played, but this year we're trying to be more welcoming and friendly to newcomers in order to spread the love of the game, like a virus! Hopefully, through the prowess and play of our brilliant young athletes, you too will catch the fever!


RULES OF THE GAME
Like any sport, Rugby League has rules that govern how the players must act. Like all good sportsmen and women our dapper boys always follow the rules, which I'll summarise below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvzUSmoY3sE

In this video, you'll see a few things being demonstrated. Rugby League works a lot like gridiron, but has 6 tackles rather than 4 downs. You also don't get a new set by advancing down the field, only by the other team touching the ball. Every time you get tackled you must play the ball, like in the video. At each tackle the defense must retreat 10m downfield, and the offence must be behind the spot of the tackle. You can also see in the video that the tacklers must give the tacklee some space to play the ball, and if they don't they'll be appropriately punished, as shown. Finally, you'll see the wonderful level of respect that the players have for the referees, who we value and love whether our team wins or loses. Respect is important!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m27SIvq8QXk

The second video shows a player waiting for a kick-off, similar to most team ball-sports. Everyone must be on their side of halfway, and the receiving team must be 10m downfield from the kickoff (which is at halfway). If they don't do that, the ref will get pissed at them, which isn't nice for anyone. Keep the refs happy, and everything will be golden!



This is what our field looks like, although normally we'll get the excitement of more sponsors' markings on the field and sometimes the thrill of varying amounts of sand to make it feel like a day at the beach! Grass is just so boring when it's uniform, right?

To score points:

TRY


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQDqIFAiD0

Tries are the main way teams score points. The idea is to touch the ball to the ground on or behind the goalline, for which you're rewarded 4 points. Whilst this sounds simple, it can sometimes be very complex and hard to discern, so we have a brilliant Bunker system that will be called upon in nearly every circumstance to decide whether the player involved has been good or bad, and reward them with a try if they deserve it! The Bunker is a state-of-the-art technology which is always correct and is routinely lauded in the media for its incredible accuracy and consistency.

CONVERSION

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M52n2sOQXk

As a bonus for scoring a try you are allowed to kick the ball through the posts, which will get you an additional two points. The kick is taken perpendicular to the point on the field you scored the try, which rewards teams who use exciting and skillful play to score under the posts, rather than the simple and lazy tries in the corners.

PENALTY GOAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unpK4JcKcFw&t=75s

Very similar to conversions, except awarded when a player commits an offence. As Rugby League players are always fair and honest gentlemen this is extremely rare.

FIELD GOALS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58j1rwD71S8

The most skillful and exciting form of scoring points, requiring players to dropkick the ball in ongoing play through the posts. As the degree of difficulty is so high, only the most talented proponents of the game dare attempt them, and only in the most extreme circumstances. Fittingly, for such an act of skill, the rewards are massive - one whole point!

POSITIONS

Each team in Rugby League consists of 13 specialised positions on the field, with 4 substitutes on the bench who, whilst equally talented, must wait to ply their trade. The team is seperated into backs and forwards, who each have general jobs to do on the field. Unlike gridiron, but like soccer, each player has the same ruleset - the positions are more to do with their basic tasks on the field.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glH2_p9GavM

THE NRL



The premier competition in the southern hemisphere, consisting of the most skillful teams from Australia and New Zealand. All of the teams have storied histories, which I'll get into in a minute, but you can rest assured that no matter who you root for you've got a great chance of both making the finals and competing for the big trophy at the end! Most of the teams have won before, and because of the financial acumen of their stable boards and their intelligent and wise coaching staff you can rest assured success is only moments away!


CLUBS

BRISBANE BRONCOS




Supporters: BlackShadow, BCR, GrunZicle, ili, Dirty Frank, Akileese, Airstream Driver, cpaf, BlindSite

Ins: Jack Bird (Sharks), Andre Savelio (Warrington Wolves), Patrick Mogo (Cowboys)

Outs: Ben Hunt (Dragons), Benji Marshall (Wests Tigers), Tautau Moga (Knights), Jai Arrow (Titans), Herman Ese'ese (Knights), Francis Molo (released) , Adam Blair (Warriors)

Hailing from the glittering jewel of the north, East Toowoomba, the Broncos are a successful and promising unit who have successfully made the colour maroon an emblem of strength in the years prior to Queensland being successful. With a wide selection of skillful outside backs and journeyman forwards, the team will rely on relatively unknown halves (and Anthony Milford) to try to improve on last years promising showing. They tend to play a fast-moving and dominant style, with other teams being blown off the park by their speed and power.

What I think is most awesome about them: Their single-handed dominance of the state media to the complete exclusion of any other teams.

Last year: 3rd

CANTERBURY-BANKSTOWN BULLDOGS




Supporters: Dumpstar, Hyperriker, 50% Of FlickingFire (the indecisive parts), Gobbledock, woofbro

Ins: Kieran Foran (Warriors), Aaron Woods (Wests Tigers), Fa'amanu Brown (Sharks), Ofahiki Ogden (Warriors), Jeremy Marshall-King (Wests Tigers), Clay Priest (Raiders), Mason Cerruto (Panthers)

Outs: James Graham (Dragons), Josh Reynolds (Wests Tigers), Sam Kasiano (Storm), Tyrone Phillips (released), Craig Garvey (Raiders), Richie Kennar (Rabbitohs), Brad Abbey (Raiders), Tyrone Phillips (Panthers)

The family club, who occasionally have to ask some members to leave the house if they've invited too many friends over and are causing a mess. Whilst they might have had a little family scuffle and needed to reorganise their board, their signings for the new year have been top-notch! Skillful forwards have been brought in to fill the gaps left by players forced to leave because of new signings, and even though some of their backs look like carbon copies of each other they're pretty good at grinding out victories. They'll be relying on the skills of Kieran Foran, who has shown to many clubs over the last few years how great an influence he can be on their fortunes. Now that they've cut some of the fat from their pack it'll be interesting to see how they go in what may be a rebuilding year, but whatever happens we can expect a lot from this gang!

What I think is most awesome about them: The way that they always take care of their own, just like the happiest of happy families.

Last year: 11th

CANBERRA RAIDERS




Supporters: Burn Down Canberra, aejix

Ins: Cooper Bambling, Erin Clark (New Zealand Warriors), Craig Garvey (Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs), Kalani Going, Charlie Gubb (New Zealand Warriors), Siliva Havili (St George Illawarra Dragons), Corey Horsburgh, Sebastian Kris , Michael Oldfield (Penrith Panthers)

Outs: Kurt Baptiste (Leigh Centurions), Adam Clydsdale (retired), Lachlan Croker (Manly Sea Eagles), Brent Naden (Newcastle Knights), Kato Ottio (Widnes Vikings), Clay Priest (Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs), Zac Santo (New Zealand Warriors), Scott Sorensen (Cronulla Sharks), Dave Taylor (Toronto Wolfpack), Jordan Turner (Huddersfield Giants)

An exciting rollercoaster of a team, who love to thrill with incredible victories when you doubt them, and cause you to feel like you'll throw up when you think you're safe. With halves who've shown in the past they're more than capable, and outside backs who were the terror of the league, the Raiders are a force to warm the coldest hearts in the land. One nice thing about them is that they tend to oscillate between being on top and underneath each year, so as they were a little disappointing last year they might be set for a big one.

What I think is most awesome about them: Their jerseys are always fashionable, and the lime green goes with everything!

Last year: 10th

CRONULLA SHARKS




Supporters: Lacklustre Hero, Big Steveo

Ins: Josh Dugan (Dragons), Aaron Gray (Rabbitohs), Ava Seumanufagai (Wests Tigers), Scott Sorensen (Raiders), Braden Uele (Cowboys), Matt Moylan (Panthers)

Outs: Jack Bird (Broncos), Gerard Beale (Warriors), Fa'amanu Brown (Bulldogs), Daniel Mortimer (Leigh Centurions), Manaia Cherrington (Warriors), Jordan Drew (released), Jeremy Latimore (Dragons), Chris Heighington (Knights), James Maloney (Panthers)

You ever have one of those epic nights that you never thought you'd experience? The Sharks are that kind of team. For many decades unkind people liked to poke fun at their continued lack of trophies (as if that's important), but two years ago they finally hit the big time! You'd think after such an incredible high there'd be a massive hangover, but the brave white knights from the Shire managed to do a decent follow-up job last year and to that, we raise a glass. Plastic cup, and non-alcoholic, of course (it is a school night)! With a new pair of halves coming from established powerhouses things look positive for the new season, and with a young and very hungry forward pack stacked with successful representative players other teams would well be wary of the boys near the waves!

What I think is most awesome about them: A team in sky blue? Winning a trophy? How could I not love them?

Last year: 5th

GOLD COAST TITANS




Supporters: oystertoadfish, Redeye Flight, Sojobo, Byolante

Ins: Jai Arrow (Broncos), Brendan Elliot (Knights), Keegan Hipgrave (Broncos), Mitch Rein (Panthers), Leilani Latu (Panthers)

Outs: Chris McQueen (Wests Tigers), Leivaha Pulu (Warriors), Tyrone Roberts (Warrington Wolves), Tyler Cornish (released), Nathaniel Peteru (Leeds Rhinos), Paterika Vaivai (Leigh Centurions), Daniel Vidot (retired), Brenton Lawrence (retired), Jarryd Hayne (released)

The biggest party club in the country comes to play, yet again! Whilst you might think a team from the glitter strip might not be able to concentrate on football, you'd be wrong. They've consistently been able to ignore the distractions you might think would derail another team, and capably and professionally dealt with any personnel issues that have come up. They're a little light on buys for the new year, going for value buys and getting rid of players who a less wise person might consider to be high quality. There's almost nowhere they can go but up, so now is a great time to get on board the rocketship to the moon!

What I think is most awesome about them: There's always ample seating available at their home games, and only half of them are in direct 35 degree sun during the match!

Last year: 15th

MANLY SEAGULLS




Supporters: The Deadly Hume, Crawfoot, Fanatic

Ins: Toafofoa Sipley (Warriors), Jack Gosiewski (Rabbitohs), Lachlan Croker (Raiders)

Outs: Brenton Lawrence (retired), Steve Matai (retired), Brett Stewart (retired), Blake Green (Warriors), Pita Godinet (Wests Tigers)

One of the most storied and successful teams in history. From their beautiful position on the edge of the water they've carved out a shining history of triumph, with 6 premierships and 2 minor premierships. A key contributer to the "Unbeatables" Kangaroos team of the mid 80s, they were the last non-NSWRL club to have players chosen to represent their country. Products of their remarkable success include Bob Lindner, Greg Dowling, Gene Miles and Wally Lewis. In more recent times, Manly have tasted victory in the 2011 and 2012 seasons, most recently by defeating Redcliffe 20-10.

What I think is most awesome about them: The incredible rush of their supporters in the Chook Pen at BMD Kougari Oval, and the legacy of their epic contributions to Queensland Rugby League heritage.

Last year: 6th

MELBOURNE STORM




Supporters: piss explosion, Franko, I Love Sanchize

Ins: Sam Kasiano (Bulldogs), Ryan Hoffman (Warriors), Patrick Kaufusi (Cowboys), Sandor Earl (unattached), Ryan Papenhuyzen (Wests Tigers), Billy Walters (Brisbane Easts), Cooper Johns (Sea Eagles), Kayleb Milne (NZ rugby)

Outs: Cooper Cronk (Roosters), Tohu Harris (Warriors), Jordan McLean (Cowboys), Robbie Rochow (Wests Tigers), Jesse Arthars (Rabbitohs), Slade Griffin (Knights), Mark Nicholls (Rabbitohs)

What can I say about this team? Every year I think they're not going to be able to top the league they defy all logical and financial sense and I'm forced to take back everything. Whilst you would intuitively would expect them to lose a step with the loss of such quality players, time has proven that players leaving them seem to lose all flair and return to the mean. Conversely, players coming in seem to shed hundreds of kilos of failure and are suddenly born anew. Time will tell whether these new signings take the wonder drugs the club seems to have in their water supply, but you'd be cheated out of your money if you bet against them.

What I think is most awesome about them: I don't normally have much of a reason to go to Melbourne, but since they're basically guaranteed 2 finals matches there I have an excuse to go!

Last year: 1st (premiers)

NEWCASTLE KNIGHTS




Supporters: bowmore, Mackay, fuckpot, LuckySevens

Ins: Kalyn Ponga (Cowboys), Connor Watson (Roosters), Aidan Guerra (Roosters), Tautau Moga (Broncos), Herman Ese'ese (Broncos), Slade Griffin (Storm), Jacob Lillyman (Warriors), Chris Heighington (Sharks), Mitchell Pearce (Roosters)

Outs: Dane Gagai (Rabbitohs), Rory Kostjasyn (retired), Sam Mataora (retired), Mickey Paea (Hull FC), Anthony Tupou (retired), Joe Wardle (Castleford Tigers), Josh Starling (retired), Jack Stockwell (released), Pauli Pauli (released), Jaelen Feeney (released), Peter Mata'utia (Leigh Centurions), David Bhana (released), Tyler Randell (Wakefield Trinity), Chanel Mata'utia (released)

A thread favourite, who thrill us week in and week out with their brilliant ability to keep both their uniform and scoreboard shiny and clean! They've been very successful in the last few years, winning a title for the last three straight! Not many teams can say that, I'll have you know! In the interests of diversifying their accolade portfolio they've engaged in a truly staggering rotation of their playing staff, with some very experienced players with heaps of talent coming into the fold. They're definitely in a good position, and I don't think there's any chance of them sliding down the ladder this year - as such, it's the perfect ground floor club to get on board with!

What I think is most awesome about them: Sharing their colours with the equally successful A-League team of the same city, it's always nice that there's a quick visual guide when glancing at a game of theirs to know if their opponent will be getting a win today!

Last year: 16th

AUCKLANDNEW ZEALAND WARRIORSWELLINGTON ORCAS!





Supporters: Jono C, Ewar Woowar, Smorgasbord, Vagabundo, Thel

Ins: Tohu Harris (Storm), Gerard Beale (Sharks), Leivaha Pulu (Titans), Manaia Cherrington (Sharks), Adam Blair (Broncos), Peta Hiku (Warrington Wolves), Matiu Love-Henry (Norths Devils), Blake Green (Sea Eagles)

Outs: Kieran Foran (Bulldogs), Manu Vatuvei (Salford Red Devils), Ben Matulino (Wests Tigers), Bureta Faraimo (Hull FC), Charlie Gubb (Raiders), Toafofoa Sipley (Sea Eagles), Ryan Hoffman (Storm), Jacob Lillyman (Knights), Bodene Thompson (Leigh Centurions)

The pride of the land of the long white cloud, the most popular team in their entire country, and the most successful New Zealand rugby league team of all time. Mere words cannot describe their success and achievements. Players forego their real birth countries to play for them, and New Zealand reaps the benefit both at a club and country level. Another team that is refreshing the tree of success with the blood of new players, one can expect by bringing in such consistently excellent players like Adam Blair and Blake Green they'll definitely be in good stead for keeping up their typical level of success.

What I think is most awesome about them: No marketing department is more hard-working than the Warriors', who every season create dozens of different jerseys for their team to wear. Whilst you might think it's a bit odd that the team runs out in a different strip each week, the fans get the thrill of buying an entire wardrobe's worth of shirts every year to match them!

Last year: 13th

NORTH QUEENSLAND COWBOYS




Supporters: foolish fool, 50% of FlickingFire (the less-successful indecisive parts)

Ins: Carlin Anderson (Townsville Blackhawks), Jordan McLean (Storm)

Outs: Kalyn Ponga (Knights), Ray Thompson (retired), Patrick Kaufusi (Storm), Braden Uele (Sharks), Patrick Mogo (Broncos)

A juggernaut in the north. A settled team of superstars, with a proven record and every chance to go one better than last year. Even with a heap of injuries and problems they managed to almost do the impossible, coming from 8th place in the finals to come within a whisker of beating the immortal champions in the biggest game of all. How much better could they be with their inspirational and irreverent idol on the pitch, looking to cap an incredible career with another premiership ring? Stay tuned to find out. They've wisely kept the cue in the rack with regard to signings for the new season, trusting in their established superstars. Time will tell how well this approach goes - I think it'll be pretty special...

What I think is most awesome about them: As the representative of the entire state of Queensland (except for the SE corner) they've got a mass of fans, who get to belt out the country hits at the game whilst they ride to victory. You haven't lived till you've sung along with "Sweet Caroline" whilst sitting on a grassy hill drinking XXXX Gold...

Last year: 8th

PARRAMATTA EELS




Supporters: Saul Goode, Danoss, spacegoat

Ins: Kane Evans (Roosters), Jarryd Hayne (Gold Coast Titans), Mitchell Moses (Wests Tigers), Jaeman Salmon, Tony Williams (Cronulla Sharks)

Outs: Troy Dargan (Brisbane Broncos), Isaac De Gois (retired), Bureta Faraimo (Hull FC), Jamal Fogarty, James Hasson (released), Frank Pritchard (retired), Semi Radradra (rugby union), Jeff Robson (retired), Kelepi Tanginoa (Manly Sea Eagles), Alex Twal (Wests Tigers)

One of the most successful teams, especially in their glory days of the mid 80s, Parramatta has long tried to find the final piece of the puzzle to take them the final steps to the pinnacle of the league. Whilst they thought they might have it with the midseason acquisition of Moses last year, they've now picked up Jesus in the offseason to complete their ascension to glory. How can one team contain such biblical powerhouses without ego getting in the way? Luckily their personnel is renowned for their humble natures and their willingness to put the team and coach before themselves. With all that it's hard to see them not being involved in the pointy end of the year, with every likelihood that their greatest ever player taking out the MVP award of both the season and grand final.

What I think is most awesome about them: Whilst their stadium undergoes much needed "being-demolished-and-replaced-by-a-new-one" work, they've listened to their fans and taken their home games to the most popular stadium in the country - ANZ Stadium. Not many teams would sacrifice their homeground advantages to make ther fans happy, and we applaud them for their efforts to improve the gameday experience for everyone.

Last year: 4th

PENRITH PANTHERS




Supporters: Mootallica, Pig in the City

Ins: Adam Keighran (Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs), James Maloney (Cronulla Sharks), Chad O'Donnell, Joey Peato, Tyrone Phillips (Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs), Jayden Walker (Cronulla Sharks)

Outs: Sitaleki Akauola (Warrington Wolves), Bryce Cartwright (Gold Coast Titans), Zach Dockar-Clay (Hull Kingston Rovers), Peta Hiku (New Zealand Warriors), Samisoni Langi (Catalan Dragons), Leilani Latu (Gold Coast Titans), Te Maire Martin (North Queensland Cowboys), Matt Moylan (Cronulla Sharks), Darren Nicholls (St George Illawarra Dragons), Michael Oldfield (Canberra Raiders), Mitch Rein (Gold Coast Titans), Malakai Watene-Zelezniak (Wests Tigers)

A team that knows what it wants: to have one shining moment of success per decade. And they've certainly done that, with each decade of their existence being marked by one brilliant streak of success. Whilst this decade hasn't risen to the occasion yet, but that just means they're still leading up to it - and there's not much time left in the decade left so it's got to be soon, right? I'm pretty sure that's how statistics work, so I'm pretty excited for them. They've made some great purchases with a proven representative half and some brilliant buys that would probably sneak under most people's radars, and none of the players they've released were important to their style or recent successes. Their coach is making pretty smart moves, and I think they'll be at the peak of the mountain soon, rather than its foot...

What I think is most awesome about them: RRRRROOOOOOOORRRRWWWWRRRRRR!!! That's the sound of success! The hairs on the back of your neck always rise when the sound of the panther roar comes over the speakers at their home games, and you just know the players take inspiration from the thrilling sound. Opposition, beware....

Last year: 7th

ST GEORGE-ILLAWARRA DRAGONS




Supporters: heladocasero, Gregorio

Ins: Mitchell Allgood (Wakefield Trinity), Jackson Ford, James Graham (Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs), Ben Hunt (Brisbane Broncos), Jeremy Latimore (Cronulla Sharks), Joe Lovodua, Darren Nicholls (Penrith Panthers)

Outs: Josh Dugan (Cronulla Sharks), Siliva Havili (Canberra Raiders), Drew Hutchison (Leigh Centurions), Chris Lewis (released), Mose Masoe (Hull Kingston Rovers), Will Matthews (Widnes Vikings), Tyrone McCarthy (Salford Red Devils), Josh McCrone (Toronto Wolfpack), Taane Milne (Wests Tigers), Shaun Nona (Brisbane Broncos), Russell Packer (Wests Tigers), Joel Thompson (Manly Sea Eagles)

One of the most successful teams in history, with an incredible streak of 11 straight premierships that'll never be surpassed. You'd hardly know about it, though, as much like their equally successful rivals in South Sydney they rarely talk about the glory days, preferring instead to show their talent through their results on the park. They definitely haven't dropped the ball with their signings, and they'll talk your ear off about the quality of the grand final representative players they've picked up. With their striking new jersey designs every year they'll certainly be a force to reckon with, and the steel they're known for will certainly make for depressing trips down to the coast for their opponents.

What I think is most awesome about them: As a successful and inoffensive team without any real scandals or problems it's easy to root for them, with the added bonus of inciting aneurysms in Rabbitohs fans for you being a historical bandwagon fan. Also, you can buy a cheap jersey from 15 years ago and nobody would ever know, since they literally never change their immortal designs.

Last year: 9th

SOUTH SYDNEY RABBITOHS




Supporters: Mills, Penguin Radar, Antitonic, SeekOtherCandidate

Ins: Dane Gagai (Knights), Jesse Arthars (Storm), Mark Nicholls (Storm), Richie Kennar (Bulldogs)

Outs: Bryson Goodwin (Leigh Centurions), Aaron Gray (Sharks), David Tyrrell (released), Anthony Cherrington (released), Luke Kelly (released), Dane Nielsen (released), Jack Gosiewski (Sea Eagles), Sitiveni Moceidreke (Raiders)

The pride of the league. The second team of everyone who loves football. The (self-proclaimed) greatest ever team. Souths. Whilst they've ridden a rollercoaster of ladder positions in the last decade they're generally very strong, and have bought the best player Newcastle had to offer to bolster their outer backs. A team in the midst of a generational change, it's very exciting to see the joy that young players bring to the games, even if they aren't always able to put the points on the ball. I'm sure that we'll see a team this year that can put a fright into the other teams, and not just because of their Freddy Kreuger-inspired Halloween jerseys!

What I think is most awesome about them: Not every team can boast that every one of their fans can recount every single trophy they've ever won, even unprompted!

Last year: 12th

SYDNEY ROOSTERS




Supporters: Ribbo, Apollodorus, Green Eggs and Sam

Ins: James Tedesco (Wests Tigers), Cooper Cronk (Storm), Reece Robinson (NSW Waratahs)

Outs: Kane Evans (Eels), Aidan Guerra (Knights), Connor Watson (Knights), Liam Knight (Raiders), Paul Carter (released), Mitchell Pearce (Knights)

Trophies happen every year, round 'ere. A luminous legacy. Calmly, undaunted, next triumph's sure.

You're otherwise unafraid? Hark 'ere at retention! Mad effectuation?!

Classy, united, Not-from-this-world team - SUCCESS!

What I think is most awesome about them: They're something special, that we're all in awe of. Purchases that other teams dream of, that we can barely believe they could fit in the cap. A roster whose breadth of talent is unsurpassed and whose accounting department leaves us in awe. We are all jealous of their brilliance and opulence.

Last year: 2nd

WESTS TIGERS



(this image came up when I googled "Tigers Failure" and it was appropriate)

Supporters: iajanus, Contra Duck, Abalone Malone, Gorbash, emjayelle, MacDougall, Minisune

Ins: Josh Reynolds (Bulldogs), Benji Marshall (Broncos), Russell Packer (Dragons), Ben Matulino (Warriors), Chris McQueen (Titans), Mahe Fonua (Hull FC), Taane Milne (Dragons), Robbie Rochow (Storm), Corey Thompson (Widnes Vikings), Pita Godinet (Sea Eagles)

Outs: James Tedesco (Roosters), Aaron Woods (Bulldogs), Matt Ballin (retired), Joel Edwards (released), Justin Hunt (retired), Jack Littlejohn (released), Kyle Lovett (released), Jordan Rankin (Huddersfield Giants), Ava Seumanufagai (Sharks), Jeremy Marshall-King (Bulldogs)

Some people say that consistency is a good thing. They say that being able to reasonably predict what will happen in general is something to be lauded. To that I say: poppycock! The Wests Tigers are the greatest rugby league team of all time, based primarily in their wonderful ability to be completely unpredictable all of the time! One moment, they're scoring an incredible length-of-the-field try! The next, they've forgotten how to tackle and have thrown 8 intercepts in a half. One thing that's always true - you're always on the edge of your seat (just make sure to not sit too close to any windows)! They've made the interesting and exciting choice to get rid of almost an entire team of talented players in order to bring in an eclectic and reliable group of established stars, so we get to experience the jaw-dropping rollercoaster of fun that will be them trying to gel in the first few rounds of the season against all of the teams that finished in the top 4 last year. One way or another, you'll never be bored watching this bucket of excitement!

What I think is most awesome about them: In the midst of clearing house they've looked back to the future and bought back the inspirational and mercurial live-wire that led them to their maiden (and only) premiership (before they "helped" him chase his dreams of playing in another sport)! Surely it's worked in the past, so it'll work again? I love a team that's so beholden to tradition and logic!

Last year: 14th



ERRATA

NORTH SYDNEY CENTRAL COAST BEAGLES BEARS



People who still brilliantly hold memberships: aejix, iajanus, quite a few other geniuses

We still believe that the most successful and talented team based out of the lower north shore of Sydney will be reincarnated in some form. Sure, there hasn't been any movement or hints that it'll happen, but one day......

And for our fans of equally awesome northern hemisphere football... here be the deets (ps someone please send me a rundown of the teams etc and I'll put them in here)


Please note:

Puckish Rogue is a wonderful poster of whom we would all be lucky to meet in person. Everyone should aspire to his genius posting and if he would grace us more with his prescence it would be manna from heaven. Also, his "favourite club [is] Billy Slater." What a guy!

iajanus fucked around with this message at 11:59 on Feb 21, 2018

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bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
gently caress Manly

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay

bowmore posted:

gently caress Manly

wow rude

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



I thought I was very nice about them :(

I didn't think we were being rude this year

ili
Jul 26, 2003

That's a fair effort that.

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
I can’t wait to kick off 2018 with the world’s greatest showcase of rugby league, the Auckland Nines.

Contra Duck
Nov 4, 2004

#1 DAD
Read every word. Will probably stop reading words about nrl after the tigers lose their first 8 games tho.

Rastor
Jun 2, 2001

Thanks for the OP effort iajanus!

I tentatively plan to edit this post with some RFL / England / Canada / France type stuff

Rastor fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Feb 21, 2018

The Rabbi T. White
Jul 17, 2008





Good job.... But nothing about how amazing and entirely worthwhile scrums are?

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



The Rabbi T. White posted:

Good job.... But nothing about how amazing and entirely worthwhile scrums are?

There's a limit to how much I can lie

Rastor
Jun 2, 2001

The Rabbi T. White posted:

Good job.... But nothing about how amazing and entirely worthwhile scrums are?

https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nr...dff47cadc6b5138

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PczZmYdQWqY&t=207s

The Rabbi T. White
Jul 17, 2008






All this does is highlight how little effort are usually put in to them. The Warriors actually bothered to push, the Eels were confused by this decision and the outcome was the easiest tighthead in the history of any oval-balled game.

Puckish Rogue
Jun 24, 2010

is this the first rugby league OP not to use the word "oval office?"

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Puckish Rogue posted:

is this the first rugby league OP not to use the word "oval office?"

Might be...

Puckish Rogue
Jun 24, 2010

I'm not sure if the addition to it is making my skin crawl or just arousing

Rastor
Jun 2, 2001

Televised matches this weekend:

NRL Premiership:
Friday, Feb 23
Test Match: North Queensland Cowboys vs Melbourne Storm
A percentage of proceeds from ticket sales will go to charities nominated by Johnathan Thurston and Cameron Smith.
US/CA 4:00 am EST, UK 9:00 am GMT on watchnrl.com
AU 8:00 pm AEDT, on FOX League (note: appears in program guide as "A Night with Cam & JT")

RFL Super League:
Friday, Feb 23
Warrington Wolves vs. Wigan Warriors
US 2:30 pm EST, on Fox Soccer Plus
CA on Sportsnet World Plus HD 1
UK 7:30 pm GMT, on Sky Sports Arena
AU 6:30 am Sat AEDT, on FOX League

Saturday, Feb 24
Castleford Tigers vs. Hull FC
US 10:00 am EST but tape delayed to 11:30 am, on Fox Soccer Plus
CA not televised
UK 3:00 pm GMT, on Sky Sports Main Event
AU 2:00 am Sun AEDT, on FOX League

Catalans Dragons vs. Wakefield Trinity
US 12:15 pm EST but tape delayed to 1:30 pm, on Fox Soccer Plus
CA on Sportsnet World Plus HD 3
UK 5:15 pm GMT, on Sky Sports Arena
AU not televised

RFL Championship League:
London Broncos vs. Toronto Wolfpack
US 10:00 am EST, on Eleven Sports Network
CA on GameTV Canada
UK 3:00 pm GMT, on Premier Sports
Streaming on https://www.torontowolfpacktv.com

aejix
Sep 18, 2007

It's about finding that next group of core players we can win with in the next 6, 8, 10 years. Let's face it, it's hard for 20-, 21-, 22-year-olds to lead an NHL team. Look at the playoffs.

That quote is from fucking 2018. Fuck you Jim
Pillbug
Good job OP. Can't wait to see what scandals engulf the sport this year!

Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.
Storm v Cowboys tonight in the blatant salary cap rort benefit match for Thurston and Smith.

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Look they're just giving two champions a proper show of respect for great careers

I may have been living in Queensland too long now

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Weather keeps knocking the satellite off-line :/

Thinking
Jan 22, 2009

The Rabbi T. White posted:

Good job.... But nothing about how amazing and entirely worthwhile scrums are?

The defending team in rugby league is at a disadvantage if they have fewer players in the defending line, which is a situation that the scrum creates, albeit temporarily. It's the same reason the Nines are considered "free flowing" or "fun" or "fast paced and exciting" and lots more tries are scored. Yes it is a remnant of union and yes it is not a technical or integral element of the game anymore and yes replacing it with a tap would alter the nature of the game.

In my experience the nature of scrums in league seems like a weird hangup often pushed by smug union wankers who value technical plays in scrums and lineouts more than basic skills like holding on to the football

Also,

bowmore posted:

gently caress Manly

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Anyone else going to the trial games today? We're on our way up to the Sunshine* Coast to watch the titans and warriors which should be a clown show.

*actually grey and rainy

Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.

iajanus posted:

Anyone else going to the trial games today? We're on our way up to the Sunshine* Coast to watch the titans and warriors which should be a clown show.

*actually grey and rainy

Be sure to let us know how underwhelming the Warriors look :negative:

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Smorgasbord posted:

Be sure to let us know how underwhelming the Warriors look :negative:

They're playing the titans, how bad could they be

The Rabbi T. White
Jul 17, 2008





cpaf posted:

In my experience the nature of scrums in league seems like a weird hangup often pushed by smug union wankers who value technical plays in scrums and lineouts more than basic skills like holding on to the football

Yeah I get this. It gets rid of the big guys for a play and a half, but it just seems so token to even go through the motions. I'm not huge on the technical crap of scrums in union either (and gently caress rolling mauls right up the rear end), but it is a good platform for a set piece in union if the ball can come out cleanly, which doesn't seem to happen in league.

... I'll just let it go. :p

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
I’ll probably watch the stream of the Knights/Eels trail that apparently sold out

Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.

iajanus posted:

They're playing the titans, how bad could they be

...

Fanatic
Mar 9, 2006

:eyepop:

bowmore posted:

gently caress Manly

:agreed: gently caress those Wynnum-Manly Seagulls.

Edit: Also iajanus I think you missed out on my team. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, although the 2011 premiership part is correct and I have the jersey to prove it. :smug:

Fanatic fucked around with this message at 06:22 on Feb 24, 2018

Thinking
Jan 22, 2009

The Rabbi T. White posted:

Yeah I get this. It gets rid of the big guys for a play and a half, but it just seems so token to even go through the motions. I'm not huge on the technical crap of scrums in union either (and gently caress rolling mauls right up the rear end), but it is a good platform for a set piece in union if the ball can come out cleanly, which doesn't seem to happen in league.

... I'll just let it go. :p

You're absolutely correct about it being tokenistic yeah, and it's getting worse. I can't remember the last time I saw a team gain possession after contesting a scrum, but I can remember multiple times when the ref has reset the scrum after a team successfully contests it, for no real reason other than "they weren't supposed to have possession after the scrum". Doesn't help that you also commonly see the likes of Andrew Fifita waiting patiently for the ball at 5/8 or Billy Slater sprinting over to wedge himself in at lock

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Fanatic posted:

:agreed: gently caress those Wynnum-Manly Seagulls.

Edit: Also iajanus I think you missed out on my team. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, although the 2011 premiership part is correct and I have the jersey to prove it. :smug:

As someone who is a member of the Seagulls club and has the jersey to prove it (and lives within walking/stumbling/courtesy bus distance of BMD Kougari oval) this was the only way I could get a positive Manly paragraph in :colbert:

Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.

cpaf posted:

You're absolutely correct about it being tokenistic yeah, and it's getting worse. I can't remember the last time I saw a team gain possession after contesting a scrum, but I can remember multiple times when the ref has reset the scrum after a team successfully contests it, for no real reason other than "they weren't supposed to have possession after the scrum". Doesn't help that you also commonly see the likes of Andrew Fifita waiting patiently for the ball at 5/8 or Billy Slater sprinting over to wedge himself in at lock

2014 maybe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zs7zEgR36A&t=94s

edit: video also displays a frustrating glimpse at what Tomkins could've offered.

Smorgasbord fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Feb 24, 2018

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Decent front row seats here at this impressive stadium. Even got some blue sky for a change. Tigers are down 40-0 with 33 to go though :v:

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Warriors look toothless on attack and titans are already up by 6

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
Warriors for the spoon this year

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Of course now the titans have given a heap of penalties and she's all level

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



And lol they score on halftime with great hands to leaf 10-6. Wtf.

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
Knights first to score in the Knights/Eels trial, six minutes in

MiniSune
Sep 16, 2003

Smart like Dodo!
Sharks 6-0 up after 8.

After the drinks break Cronulla score a lucky deflected kick to lead 10-0 KTC.

https://www.weststigers.com.au/news/2018/02/22/live-stream-wests-tigers-vs.-cronulla-sharks-trial-match/

MiniSune fucked around with this message at 09:24 on Feb 24, 2018

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

bowmore posted:

Knights first to score in the Knights/Eels trial, six minutes in
Eels up 12 - 6 at the break, unless someone scores in the next minute

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iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Just got drowned with ten to go

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