Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC February - No real title(s) this month
«‹›29 »
 
  • Locked thread
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
 Very healthy things that people should take

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:57
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 02:36
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
This woman is exposing his LIES, I love her.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:57
  • Quote
handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Unfortunately, I've had some science stuff happen to me.
* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:57
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
And Jon Jones is getting hosed up by this smart lady who actually read the forms

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:57
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
Pregnant car crash referencing Jesus this is dirty laundry day

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:58
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
Mr Jones, you said the last dumb thing you did was back then, but look at you now.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:58
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
Woah what? Drag racing?! This is new

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:59
  • Quote
Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
God he is so bad at this as is his lawyer.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 20:59
  • Quote
Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

Lid posted:

Woah what? Drag racing?! This is new

Nah that was public when it happened, they released dash cam footage of him calling the cop a pig.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:00
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
I cant believe his lawyer is not intervening even slightly over her bringing up all this motoring convictions and being on probation etc.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:00
  • Quote
Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

Triticum Guzzler posted:

jon jones didn't read the book for the book report

Lmao

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:01
  • Quote
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

willie_dee posted:

I cant believe his lawyer is not intervening even slightly over her bringing up all this motoring convictions and being on probation etc.

howard jacobs specialises in losing these cases by hiring guys that will defend lance armstrong for an hourly fee. he doesn't know poo poo.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:01
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
"... It was reckless?"

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:02
  • Quote
Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



 The lawyer ALMOST did his job there.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:02
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
Ok now hes rambling

It's like his mind remembered a random book report and is now just spouting it out

I have no loving idea what hes talking about

I've never tested positive?!

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:04
  • Quote
Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



 my favorite quote by dan gable is "when i meet a man on male enhancement pills, i know i can gently caress his wife, because he doesnt have the confidence and work ethic to beat it up right"

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:04
  • Quote
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
 how did they not prepare him for questions about his past. jesus christ.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:05
  • Quote
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
 DON'T ADMIT THAT YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE CLASSES

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:05
  • Quote
Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



 "to be honest with you I never did that" lmfao

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:05
  • Quote
Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
He had his own management do his parole work?!
Holy poo poo

Watch the cops come arrest him for it

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:05
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
Wow

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:06
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
It's not in my heart to cheat so by cheating by getting other people to take the tests clearly wasn't wrong.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:07
  • Quote
Wise Learned Man
Apr 22, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Lipstick Apathy
I never realized how dumb Johnny Bones is. I always assumed it was just a total lack of self-awareness.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:07
  • Quote
Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



 If I readily admit to past crimes that are beyond the statute of limitations, then my denial of the present crime for which I am presently being charged will carry infallible weight. Thanks, Johnny Cochran ouija board

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:07
  • Quote
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
 DON'T ADMIT TO LYING ABOUT YOUR DRUG TESTING RESPONSIBILITIES DURING YOUR HEARING FOR FAILING A DRUG TEST. PLEASE.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:07
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Digital Jedi posted:

He had his own management do his parole work?!
Holy poo poo

I'm just here to be sssssssuuuuuper open and honest

With my illicit dealings

See honesty is the best policy and clearly my current honesty shows I can't be dishonest to my other dishonesty

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:07
  • Quote
Digital Jedi
May 28, 2007

Fallen Rib
It was a 4 question for the polygraph? It already is bullshit science but only 4 questions?!

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:07
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries

Lid posted:


See honesty is the best policy and clearly my current honesty shows I can't be dishonest to my other dishonesty

This is his legitimate defence as far as I can tell.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:08
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Digital Jedi posted:

It was a 4 question for the polygraph? It already is bullshit science but only 4 questions?!

I'm fairly sure a polygraph test has three or four starter questions as a baseline reading

So it might be name dob residence... And then did you take drugs

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:08
  • Quote
ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
 Dang this lady is really going down the list here

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:09
  • Quote
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
 jon completely self destructs and howard jacobs pipes up to say uhhh hey what are we reading here

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:09
  • Quote
Le Saboteur
Dec 5, 2007

I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..
Man that AG who was only shooting for a one year license revocation was really aiming low.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:11
  • Quote
Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
 jon jones is never going to fight again, and that's terrible

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:11
  • Quote
willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
I don't understand how he isn't squeezing Jon's knee under the table to get him to shut the gently caress up or doing something that we can't see, because he doesn't even look like he is listening half the time, just organising papers.

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:11
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

jon jones is never going to fight again, and that's terrible

if he had a decent lawyer he wouldnt be allowed to fight in this room again

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:11
  • Quote
Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

willie_dee posted:

I don't understand how he isn't squeezing Jon's knee under the table to get him to shut the gently caress up or doing something that we can't see, because he doesn't even look like he is listening half the time, just organising papers.

Works on retainer?
No, money down!

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:12
  • Quote
Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



 I believe Howard Jacobs possesses some sort of voodoo doll or phylactery that allows him to take the anxieties he should feel as a lawyer when his unprepared client completely shits the bed when being cross referenced on the stand and projects them onto some other being, and unfortunately it looks like he has a printout of dunc's post history in the box

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:12
  • Quote
Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Unfortunately, I've had some science stuff happen to me.

this really is a magical time to be alive

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:12
  • Quote
Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

willie_dee posted:

I don't understand how he isn't squeezing Jon's knee under the table to get him to shut the gently caress up or doing something that we can't see, because he doesn't even look like he is listening half the time, just organising papers.

shuffling papers and/or writing copious notes is what lawyers do to avoid weeping inconsolably when your moron client shits the bed in open court

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:14
  • Quote
Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 02:36
  • Quote
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
i didnt bring my hearing aid

oh its the old man apologist

* # ? Feb 27, 2018 21:14
  • Quote
  • Locked thread
The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC February - No real title(s) this month
«‹›29 »