UFC February - No real title(s) this month - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC February - No real title(s) this month

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ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

Lid posted:

who is this southerner?

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:40

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:24

Le Saboteur: Dec 5, 2007; I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..

Well, I may be just a small time sports commissioner but I believe JON JONES INNOCENT

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:40

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

jon is for sure getting 4 years if he goes to arbitration again with usada

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:41

Le Saboteur: Dec 5, 2007; I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..

Yeah, how can Jon's arbitration with USADA possibly go any better than this?

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:42

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

That's fine if you revoke his licence

That's fine

*slow pan to Malik*

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:43

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

Le Saboteur posted:

Yeah, how can Jon's arbitration with USADA possibly go any better than this?

especially after admitting that he didn't do the fuckin anti doping classes and had his manager forge his signature. it's insanely stupid. and he's going to hire howard jacobs again.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:44

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Is this guy using his closing to essentially say "websters dictionary defines performance enhancing as..."

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:44

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

OH

MY

GOD

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:45

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

didnt jon send this guy to get him a bottle of water earlier

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:45

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

didnt jon send this guy to get him a bottle of water earlier

LITERALLY YES

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:45

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

This man is literally a fern with a sign saying I AM NOT A PLANT

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:46

eric: Apr 27, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

Lid posted:

LITERALLY YES

lol

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:46

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

to review:

jon jones admitted to not doing the online seminars for usada, and having malki kawa forge his signature
jon jones said he signed an nda that he could not disclose the amount he gave to the woman he crashed into. minutes later he says he gave her a million dollars.
jon jones brought somebody with him to give public comment and say he shouldn't get any punishment except a fine

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:49

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

"Show us evidence of rehabilitation"

Cue three months later a form being given to CSAC written in Caryon

"I HAV LEARND MY LESON ~~MALI~~JONNY"

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:50

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

to review:

jon jones brought somebody with him to give public comment and say he shouldn't get any punishment except a fine

given that guys outfit im not convinced he isn't jones dick cocaine dealer

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:51

Michael Transactions: Nov 11, 2013

Mr. Jones, do you know who Stephen A Smith is?

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:52

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

old man im fairly loving sure Jon Jones knows who Stephen A. Smith is

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:52

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

bird lawyer won't shut the gently caress up about stephen a smith

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:52

Le Saboteur: Dec 5, 2007; I hear you wish to ball, adventurer..

https://twitter.com/DamonMartin/status/968589589811220486

Thats only one L Jonny, this is your Matt Hammill fight. USADA baby thats your big bad Daniel Cormier fight.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:53

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

the better news is Jones testifying that Malki is guilty of fraud on government documents and not realising thats what he did

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:55

mewse: May 2, 2006

Length of suspension won't be decided until usada arbitration?

e: sorry not watching the hearing so I don't know what's going on

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:55

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

mewse posted:

Length of suspension won't be decided until usada arbitration?

e: sorry not watching the hearing so I don't know what's going on

yeah they revoked his license and are leaving it up to usada. at first i thought he'd for sure get 4 years but after this i'm pretty sure he can talk his way into a lifetime ban.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:57

Bluedeanie: Jul 20, 2008; It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?

mewse posted:

Length of suspension won't be decided until usada arbitration?

e: sorry not watching the hearing so I don't know what's going on

He is not being suspended by CSAC, they are leaving that up to USADA. He had his license revoked. Suspension means he automatically gets to fight again when its up, revokation means he needs to prove before anothet CSAS committee hearing he is not a gently caress up first.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:58

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

I don't know if they've changed it, but when Barnett reapplied for his license in California the regulations mean you need to show evidence of "rehabilitation". Even if he managed to get through USADA with a shorter suspension than 4 years, he couldn't do that today when asked 6+ times.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:01

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

When is the usada arbitration?

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:02

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

*Jon Jones googles Stephen A. Smith on old mans recommendationg*

https://deadspin.com/if-youve-ever-wanted-to-hear-stephen-a-smith-talk-abou-1796130475

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:03

Matt Lindland: Feb 10, 2018; SHUT THE FUCK UP KEVEN

ALSO GJ BUYING A NEW ACCOUNT LIKE A GODDAMN COWARD
YOU USELESS WHITE NOISE POSTER

YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE THE BOLF RAMSHIELD YOU SO RICHLY DESERVE

now with professional animation

Jon Jones has conclusively proved his innocence here today.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:08

Panama Red: Jul 30, 2003; Only in America could you find a way to earn a healthy buck and still keep your attitude on self destruct

"By the way, UFC gave you a Bentley. And you wrapped that around a utility pole did you not?"

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:09

handsome only face: Apr 22, 2010; Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist

i had to miss the live vid i'm glad for the posts summarising.

there should be a courtroom drama in the vein of the OJ simpson trial series but for athletic commissions

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:11

Skip My Posts: Aug 15, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

Triticum Guzzler posted:

to review:

jon jones admitted to not doing the online seminars for usada, and having malki kawa forge his signature
jon jones said he signed an nda that he could not disclose the amount he gave to the woman he crashed into. minutes later he says he gave her a million dollars.
jon jones brought somebody with him to give public comment and say he shouldn't get any punishment except a fine

drat

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:12

DigitalMocking: Jun 8, 2010; Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

This is the best sport.

Jon Jones vs Science Stuff for UFC 250.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:32

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Goddamn I love Jon Jones hearing days

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:39

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

Cool

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:44

Triticum Guzzler: Jun 16, 2002

the best fighter in the history of mma will never fight again because his first instinct when going into a room full of lawyers and video cameras is to try and get points for honesty by talking about all of his lies that haven't yet been uncovered

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:54

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

I am bummed I missed the testimony (I had some science stuff happen to me) but I am thankful for the recap. Wonderful job, everyone.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:55

FishBowlRobot: Mar 21, 2006

Today was fun and all but it�s hard for me to imagine a reality where Jon Jones does not escape the maximum or even a moderate punishment.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 23:01

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

the best fighter in the history of mma will never fight again because his first instinct when going into a room full of lawyers and video cameras is to try and get points for honesty by talking about all of his lies that haven't yet been uncovered

He was a serial killer looking for leninancy by saying "yes I made some mistakes but I can lead you to the bodies so all is good right?"

# ? Feb 27, 2018 23:02

DO YALL WANT A BOXC: Jul 20, 2010; HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!; Fun Shoe

nick diaz is still the undisputed champ of having competent representation, somehow

# ? Feb 27, 2018 23:13

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

DO YALL WANT A BOXC posted:

nick diaz is still the undisputed champ of having competent representation, somehow

Team Diaz was the best from a legal POV. Chael worked the room better, though.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 23:16

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:24

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

Those were both NSAC hearings. What other fighters have we seen face the CSAC? Is it possible that the CSAC is actually competent?

# ? Feb 27, 2018 23:22

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC February - No real title(s) this month

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