OutsideAngel posted:

Just thinking about all the new and original video game properties released this year has got me psyched to attend a birthday bash with such fresh, iconic characters like.....

zoux posted:

It sneaks up on you every year

Randaconda posted:

MizPiz posted:

https://twitter.com/Quatroking/status/968554930364698624?s=19

Olive! posted:

Curing and smoking salmon are not the same thing

Olive! posted:

Curing and smoking salmon are not the same thing

Randaconda posted:

MizPiz posted:

https://twitter.com/Quatroking/status/968554930364698624?s=19

MaliciousOnion posted:

Oh hey it's Quatroking, the guy who admitted to fooling around with his cousin.

LifeSunDeath posted:

how does that even happen, who would admit to that poo poo, was it a brag?

LifeSunDeath posted:

how does that even happen, who would admit to that poo poo, was it a brag?

Ms Adequate posted:

if you go back far enough we're all cousins.

also i'm descended from charlemagne and ghengis khan (a brag)

Bombadilillo posted:

Seems like everyone I met who took a genealogy anything is related to multiple famous people. So 'grats.

or it's, you know, bullshit

RFC2324 posted:

Some huge percentage of people are descended from Ghengis. He raped his way across the world, and left enough kids to repopulate after all his massacres.

Sagebrush posted:

That's the number I heard

Nuevo posted:

Wiki links the papers used as evidence if you care to look: Whole lotta Genghisids

Sagebrush posted:

Ludacris has hoes in different area codes.

Genghis Khan had so many hoes in so many parts of the world that there's a 0.5% chance you're descended from him.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Trace a line to Charlemagne.... the line from Charlemagnes dick to some random cooze.

Sponge Baathist posted:

(User was put on probation for this post)

The Bloop posted:

I'm just some American shmo and I can trace a line to Charlemagne with documentation but so can about half a million other people if they try

RFC2324 posted:

I knew a guy who ended up doing this in high school. He dated the girl for like 3 months, at which point he took her home to meet his parents. His mom freaked out and told him he could never see her again.

It was his moms estranged sisters daughter, who he had never met.

Azhais posted:

My ancestors were Slavic peasants. Maybe one of them was owned by someone famous, who knows!

Code Jockey posted:

holy poo poo it's like redneck star wars

RFC2324 posted:

Actually a fairly upper middle class family, so goes to show that you don't need to be a redneck to do some cousin lovin

Palpek posted:

DontMockMySmock posted:

Some of y'all are skeptical about people claiming to be descended from Charlemagne or Genghis Khan? Y'all apparently don't know about exponential growth.

You have 2 parents. They each have 2 parents, for a total of 4 grandparents. Then 8 great-grandparents, and so on. n generations back = 2^n ancestors at that level. A generation is 20-30 years usually, give or take, so let's say 25 years. By that measure, Charlemagne is about 48 generations ago. Your number of ancestors at that level is 2^48, or 281 thousand billion people, which is more people than ever lived by a factor of like a thousand. So, obviously our assumptions break down somewhere. Once you get back more than 4-5 generations, it becomes pretty likely that there's some level of "inbreeding" (not really like incest or whatever since we're talking about like 3rd+ cousins and poo poo which is hardly related at all) in your family tree. But still, your number of ancestors grows ridiculously when you're looking back as far as someone like Charlemagne. Therefore it can't be surprising if one of those bajillion people that directly produced you is Charlemagne, or any other person.

Almost everyone who has western European blood in them is directly descended from Charlemagne. They're also probably descended from the night soil man who shoveled Charlemagne's poo poo (assuming that dude had kids). Similarly, almost anyone descended from people in the places Genghis Khan conquered (China, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, etc.) is descended from Genghis Khan. And also plenty of people from outside those regions, too, because sometimes people move around. 0.5% is a really low estimate*, but I don't have a better one on hand unfortunately - my gut tells me it's like 99% or whatever, but it's hard to tell, because I'm no historian and don't have a good feeling for how much different regions of the world have interbred.

*the 0.5% cited on that wikipedia is for a particular gene signature that was probably on Genghis Khan's Y-chromosome. Many, many more people are descended from him, but didn't happen to inherit that particular set of genes.

If we go even further back, like a million years back, for example, then everyone is descended from like a few thousand apes in Africa, so we're all at least cousins to Charlemagne. And if we go way the gently caress further back, like four billion years, then everyone is just an imperfect clone of some single cell that existed somewhere around then, and there's an unbroken thread leading from that one cell, dividing, mutating, dividing, for billions of years, to make you. And all the threads from all living things on Earth lead back to that one cell. So our family tree includes Charlemagne, chimpanzees, rattlesnakes, oak trees, dog vomit slime molds, malaria, and even your mother.

So if you're descended from Charlemagne or Genghis Khan, shut the gently caress up about it. You're not special.

DontMockMySmock posted:

Some of y'all are skeptical about people claiming to be descended from Charlemagne or Genghis Khan? Y'all apparently don't know about exponential growth.

You have 2 parents. They each have 2 parents, for a total of 4 grandparents. Then 8 great-grandparents, and so on. n generations back = 2^n ancestors at that level. A generation is 20-30 years usually, give or take, so let's say 25 years. By that measure, Charlemagne is about 48 generations ago. Your number of ancestors at that level is 2^48, or 281 thousand billion people, which is more people than ever lived by a factor of like a thousand. So, obviously our assumptions break down somewhere. Once you get back more than 4-5 generations, it becomes pretty likely that there's some level of "inbreeding" (not really like incest or whatever since we're talking about like 3rd+ cousins and poo poo which is hardly related at all) in your family tree. But still, your number of ancestors grows ridiculously when you're looking back as far as someone like Charlemagne. Therefore it can't be surprising if one of those bajillion people that directly produced you is Charlemagne, or any other person.

Almost everyone who has western European blood in them is directly descended from Charlemagne. They're also probably descended from the night soil man who shoveled Charlemagne's poo poo (assuming that dude had kids). Similarly, almost anyone descended from people in the places Genghis Khan conquered (China, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, etc.) is descended from Genghis Khan. And also plenty of people from outside those regions, too, because sometimes people move around. 0.5% is a really low estimate*, but I don't have a better one on hand unfortunately - my gut tells me it's like 99% or whatever, but it's hard to tell, because I'm no historian and don't have a good feeling for how much different regions of the world have interbred.

*the 0.5% cited on that wikipedia is for a particular gene signature that was probably on Genghis Khan's Y-chromosome. Many, many more people are descended from him, but didn't happen to inherit that particular set of genes.

If we go even further back, like a million years back, for example, then everyone is descended from like a few thousand apes in Africa, so we're all at least cousins to Charlemagne. And if we go way the gently caress further back, like four billion years, then everyone is just an imperfect clone of some single cell that existed somewhere around then, and there's an unbroken thread leading from that one cell, dividing, mutating, dividing, for billions of years, to make you. And all the threads from all living things on Earth lead back to that one cell. So our family tree includes Charlemagne, chimpanzees, rattlesnakes, oak trees, dog vomit slime molds, malaria, and even your mother.

So if you're descended from Charlemagne or Genghis Khan, shut the gently caress up about it. You're not special.

LifeSunDeath posted:

how does that even happen, who would admit to that poo poo, was it a brag?

MaliciousOnion posted:

I think it was on a minecraft forum. This is the only reference I can find to it now: https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Minecraft#Quatroking_himself