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I, Butthole, it sounds like you have a perfectly fine cat. Treasure him, love him, bring him back to the helldump when he has done something truly horrific.
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Dec 20, 2017 11:46
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StrixNebulosa posted:I, Butthole, it sounds like you have a perfectly fine cat. Treasure him, love him, bring him back to the helldump when he has done something truly horrific. I love him and his sister more than anything but shortly after this post he threw up on my pillow so I just assume that's karma got me in the end. E: wait I just remembered about the time he dunked $400 worth of textbooks into the fish tank because he overestimated his jumping ability I, Butthole fucked around with this message at 11:57 on Dec 20, 2017 |
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Dec 20, 2017 11:53
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Cats really are the best at being the worst.
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Dec 20, 2017 11:58
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Are the fish OK? 
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Dec 20, 2017 17:05
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Eifert Posting posted:Are the fish OK? I think they had a bit of a shock from me dumping around trying to get my books out but aside from that they're a-ok
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Dec 20, 2017 23:59
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this fat boi turned 11 today and then after eating what I thought was a birthday feast, went and tried to bully his sister, a somewhat slower eater, out of her share of the birthday feast after supplemental birthday treats were supplied, he assumed loaf status at my feet as I live and breathe I will never understand cats and that is much of the fun of it
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Dec 21, 2017 00:38
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 this magnificent beast has a bladder stone <  > and is coping by pissing blood on my couchwill post shaming pics of her in the e-collar once surgery happens
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Dec 22, 2017 04:44
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M, i know you love your brother and he is sick so you are grooming him, but please stop licking his butt. He has worms. And now you have worms you giant doofus.
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Dec 22, 2017 06:22
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https://imgur.com/a/D7FCK Grimalkin, Lasciel - I don't know which one of you sick bastards did it, so I'm blaming you both. The first words I heard today were "Markoff one of your passive-aggressive cats took a poo poo on the kitchen floor and I stepped in it." Thanks guys. Great way to start the day, you fucks. Vanadium Dame fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Jan 2, 2018 |
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Jan 2, 2018 14:47
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 Hi, I’m Gus and I yakked up a hairball on mom and dad’s bed while they were sleeping in it.
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Jan 5, 2018 14:50
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I butthole, I am still laughing at your cat with the dunce hat. Well played.
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Jan 20, 2018 07:06
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Jess, all my viewers agree - my gaming streams are much improved by you hitting the the quickload button every 2-5 minutes. No, wait. it's the exact opposite of that.
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Jan 20, 2018 09:06
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DoggPickle posted:I butthole, I am still laughing at your cat with the dunce hat. Well played. In case you missed the cat faq thread, the little prick had to get shaved because he was overheating in our climate   Any past indiscretions have been paid for, because he looks like a goddamn fool and it makes me laugh every time I see him
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Jan 22, 2018 15:44
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I, Butthole posted:In case you missed the cat faq thread, the little prick had to get shaved because he was overheating in our climate My dad used to shave our Wire-hair fox terrier every summer with one of those man's grooming shaving thing? I dunno I was 6 and it was like 1985, so there are no pictures that I know of, but it was super-funny that she was weirdly ashamed and embarrassed and would hide behind the couch and under the bed for a couple weeks every year. You know we loved her in any case, no matter what, but she'd just get really hot and it was for her own good  I LOVE DOGS haha
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Jan 28, 2018 08:15
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Sally, you're going to stop waking me up at 4:30 am with the sound of seventy pounds of dog butt thumping on the floor. You poop when we wake at 5. Stop.
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Feb 27, 2018 14:19
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Sparky. You are an old cat now, but you've picked up some bad habits. Most of them i forgive you for because you had a really bad day when you were entirely eaten by a carpet snake and we had to cut you out of its mouth (snake lived). That would tend to change anyone, i know it would me. But, you dont live with me anymore. You live with an animal surgical specialist. Double PHD. True, the man who took your balls and then threw them at me, but also the man who... er, de-snaked you? This man is more than qualified to dissect you completely. Which is why the new habit you picked up after i left of *hard* biting exposed toes (and immediately running away, showing you know its wrong) of said sleeping man at 1am is ill-advised. True, it was funny the first time i heard about, but after doing it for a week, i understood him chasing you around the house with a knife in kitty-gotta-die rage. Luckily you are super fast and agile for an old cat. Last time you did it after this, while i was visiting, he caught you. He sat you down on the table, retrieved a freshly cleaned set of the surgical scapels from the autoclave, grabbed an illustrated textbook and very calmly discussed with you all the different cuts of meat he could get from you. The correct response to this impromptu and amazingly calm layout of all the ways you could be sliced and diced should *NOT* have been to very slowly, and clearly deliberatly lean over and gently bite his hand. You are on borrowed motherfucking time, cat. I hope i can get you to come live with me soon.
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Feb 28, 2018 08:28
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McGiggins posted:Sparky. You are an old cat now, but you've picked up some bad habits. Most of them i forgive you for because you had a really bad day when you were entirely eaten by a carpet snake and we had to cut you out of its mouth (snake lived). That would tend to change anyone, i know it would me.  what the gently caress
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Feb 28, 2018 16:00
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He likes the cat, and it was a sleep- deprived middle-of-the-morning thing, in the middle of exam block for all his final year vet students at the uni he teaches at. He was at the end of his rope, and the many stiches in his feet as well as the tendon/muscle reattachment on the knuckle of his big toe had shortened his temper in all cases. I very much doubt he would ever do it (though he does it for a living, and he had literally dissected 4 horses for the students the day before). Sometimes kitty needs to learn to calm down. He's since been turned into an outside cat to solve the problem.
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Mar 1, 2018 02:54
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McGiggins posted:tendon/muscle reattachment on the knuckle of his big toe Wait wait wait. Dude got bit by a cat hard enough to rip muscles from bone?
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Mar 1, 2018 03:14
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I did say hard biting... I don't know what breed he his, he looks exactly like the Whiskers cat food grey cat, but loving big. Hes not fat, hes proportional to his frame, and I'm not weak, but i go "oof" when i pick him up.
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Mar 1, 2018 05:01
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I think you may have a Lynx
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Mar 1, 2018 15:54
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He's big but not that big haha. I've been looking into having him moved here over the coming weeks, but he travels poorly, vomiting and shiting all over hinself. Seeing as he is an old cat, reluctant to put him through it but also not wanting to leave him outside on the farm, as he keeps bullying the greyhounds.
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Mar 1, 2018 22:30
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Yeah all of that sounds like my buddies Maine Coon. Big ol' fuckin cat that takes no poo poo and will gently caress poo poo up when the mood hits.
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Mar 2, 2018 10:43
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My little poo poo just destroyed a £200 pair of gloves. Call the RSPCA before I throttle a bitch
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Mar 2, 2018 20:54
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TheMaskedUgly posted:My little poo poo just destroyed a £200 pair of gloves. things get destroyed. it is the pet way. imagine having seven.
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Mar 2, 2018 21:50
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My 5 cats don't destroy poo poo. They just puke all over the place 
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Mar 3, 2018 01:09
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Sally: You chewed through my tyre.
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Mar 3, 2018 01:18
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TheMaskedUgly posted:My little poo poo just destroyed a £200 pair of gloves. Wear cheaper gloves, or sell the dog...
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Mar 4, 2018 12:46
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Wear cheaper gloves, or sell the dog... Yeah. If you have dogs or little kids, just stop buying nice things.
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Mar 4, 2018 13:16
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MacReady, you were very tolerant of the Purim party and I appreciate that when you found me passed out fully clothed and half in bed, half on the floor, your response was to cuddle my head and purr till I woke up instead of biting me or biffing me awake. Now though, I am hungover, stoned and weak. Please stop rolling over and over on my face and crying, I can't take you for a walk yet; I might die.
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Mar 4, 2018 13:52
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Werong Bustope posted:MacReady, you were very tolerant of the Purim party and I appreciate that when you found me passed out fully clothed and half in bed, half on the floor, your response was to cuddle my head and purr till I woke up instead of biting me or biffing me awake. Your cat wants to go for a walk? I know some cats go out on leashes but I've never heard one demanding to go out.
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Mar 4, 2018 13:59
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Kavak posted:Your cat wants to go for a walk? I know some cats go out on leashes but I've never heard one demanding to go out. I don't walk him on a leash (I've tried) he just trots along next to me as we bumble around my road and I throw tree seeds + sticks for him to chase. Sometimes he wanders into someone's front garden and rubs his face on everything. It's v cute and means he mostly does his business outside, which is a bonus. We usually go for a walk everyday but I am incapacitated right now. He's upgraded from rolling to sitting on my chest and alternately yelling and headbutting me. Send help.
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Mar 4, 2018 14:12
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Werong Bustope posted:I don't walk him on a leash (I've tried) he just trots along next to me as we bumble around my road and I throw tree seeds + sticks for him to chase. Sometimes he wanders into someone's front garden and rubs his face on everything. It's v cute and means he mostly does his business outside, which is a bonus. That's adorable and also, oh no, I'm so sorry. I have something similar where my dog wakes me up at 4AM to go out...and he does this by either licking my face, stepping on my face (WITH HIS UNTRIMMED CLAWS) or using his head as a shovel to shovel me out of bed. He's supposed to save this nudging for 5AM, so I now get to stumble out of bed, do my business, go back to bed...and get woken up in the same way an hour later. Worst alarm clock ever.
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Mar 4, 2018 14:21
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Hahaha, animals are the best-worst.
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Mar 4, 2018 14:30
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Cosmo, my big orange Trouble-Bubble, when you hoark up a fireball at 5:30 AM, be sure to do it close to the vent in the kitchen, so the cacaphonous rasping gag is magnified 10-fold and deposited directly into my sleepy ears so that I wake up thinking a monster is my AC unit trying barf in my mouth while I sleep
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Mar 4, 2018 14:39
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Hank, you're a good cat and a sweetie but I need you to stop dancing and rolling on my chest at 3am. Especially when you squeek in my face afterwards. Also you have the crustiest butthole. So stop being offended when I wipe it for you.
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Mar 5, 2018 00:39
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sneakyfrog posted:things get destroyed. it is the pet way. imagine having seven. Man I know that, the puppy is in the chewing on everything phase. I know it's my fault of course, shouldn't have left them on top of the table pushed against the wall behind a 4ft barrier. Scent dogs not gonna let physics get in the way of some sweaty gloves. They were heated motorcycle gloves for the record.
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Mar 5, 2018 11:22
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Dear Schmitt, You are a great cat and I am very happy I adopted you around a month ago. That being said please stop using my bed as a launching pad to the desk so you can look out of the window. When you walk over it's fine, but when you run full-speed into the room and jump it always wakes me up, especially when you are jumping off of me to do it.
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Mar 5, 2018 16:38
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Hey, cat! I appreciate that you clean your butt after going potty, but now your breath smells like cat poo poo and you insist on coming straight to me the first thing you do and getting up in my face. Please brush your teeth, too. 
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Mar 6, 2018 17:08
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you can't perch on that you idiot
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Mar 18, 2018 02:42
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