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Kiranamos
Sep 27, 2007

STATUS: SCOTT IS AN IDIOT
Homemade hot sauce = Tabasco + Sriracha :downs:

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MonkeyHate
Oct 11, 2002

Dance, monkey, dance!
Taco Defender
Loved this dude. He always drew a little animal shape on the receipt for my son.

https://www.seattletimes.com/life/lifestyle/asked-answered-what-happened-to-tom-the-guessing-doorman-at-costco/

In a shocking twist, make sure to read the comments on the story which are heartwarming instead of horrible.

Oh and an update:
https://www.seattletimes.com/life/lifestyle/who-knew-a-story-about-tom-the-costco-doorman-could-restore-ones-faith-in-humanity/

MonkeyHate fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Mar 4, 2018

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

I hate it when the receipt checkers take 30 seconds making a smiley face on the back for my kids. And the kids of everyone else in line waiting to get out of the store.

Just make your dumb line on the receipt and let us go already.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Ultimate Mango posted:

I hate it when the receipt checkers take 30 seconds making a smiley face on the back for my kids. And the kids of everyone else in line waiting to get out of the store.

Just make your dumb line on the receipt and let us go already.

I have never seen this take longer than 3 seconds.

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
Costco app says they're doing 1 to 2 day delivery for stuff and I think you get free shipping if you spend over like $75 (not sure it's possible to spend less at the Co so lol)

Will try and report back.

PBUC

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

therobit posted:

I have never seen this take longer than 3 seconds.

I’ve timed them at ours. First they have to pay a compliment and half the time literally pinch the cheeks or pat the shoulder of the little one. Then they ask some question. Maybe about a favorite thing they bought at Costco or how school was. Then they wait for a response and maybe follow up. I poo poo you not. Then they inspect the receipt and mark off the items. Then, and only then is it doodle time. I’ve never seen a happy face take so long but oh the artistry some think they have. I can’t believe it’s not Salvador Dali’s best rendition of Mickey Mouse. Maybe an elephant or god knows what. But it’s not four lines. It’s forty strokes to draw these, like they are masters at Japanese calligraphy.
God forbid you start to walk out the door while they are drawing. Then they just take longer.

They do this for every single goddamned child.

I was fine when it was just a three second smiley face.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Ultimate Mango posted:

I’ve timed them at ours. First they have to pay a compliment and half the time literally pinch the cheeks or pat the shoulder of the little one. Then they ask some question. Maybe about a favorite thing they bought at Costco or how school was. Then they wait for a response and maybe follow up. I poo poo you not. Then they inspect the receipt and mark off the items. Then, and only then is it doodle time. I’ve never seen a happy face take so long but oh the artistry some think they have. I can’t believe it’s not Salvador Dali’s best rendition of Mickey Mouse. Maybe an elephant or god knows what. But it’s not four lines. It’s forty strokes to draw these, like they are masters at Japanese calligraphy.
God forbid you start to walk out the door while they are drawing. Then they just take longer.

They do this for every single goddamned child.

I was fine when it was just a three second smiley face.

Holy poo poo that sounds awful. At my church the do all the chitchat while counting the cart and then hurriedly scrawl the smiley face on there and pat the kid on the head and you are off to the races.

therobit fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Mar 4, 2018

Bloodplay it again
Aug 25, 2003

Oh, Dee, you card. :-*
Last night in line at the 'co the people ahead of me were confused and somewhat upset they couldn't pay the cashier to take their money and have someone pick up their car, get gas, and bring the car to the front doors. Is that a thing?

belt
May 12, 2001

by Nyc_Tattoo
The receipt checker called me "chief" and "captain" the last time I went to Costco.

I'm a 34 year old man.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

Bloodplay it again posted:

Last night in line at the 'co the people ahead of me were confused and somewhat upset they couldn't pay the cashier to take their money and have someone pick up their car, get gas, and bring the car to the front doors. Is that a thing?

Maybe Iceland or NYC.

My boss loves part time in manhattan and apparently Costco delivers, and it’s awesome. Order on app, free delivery in a couple of hours.

Costco valet where they load and gas your car sounds like a new membership tier.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

belt posted:

The receipt checker called me "chief" and "captain" the last time I went to Costco.

I'm a 34 year old man.

poo poo like this makes me want to wipe my rear end (in the bathroom you pervs) with the receipt between checking out and leaving past the receipt checkers. Or at least give them the ole mallrats stink palm.

naem
May 29, 2011

belt posted:

The receipt checker called me "chief" and "captain" the last time I went to Costco.

I'm a 34 year old man.

Are you buy chance a Native American wearing a skippers hat because

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


belt posted:

The receipt checker called me "chief" and "captain" the last time I went to Costco.

I'm a 34 year old man.

I don't think it's an age thing though? I mean, yeah people say that to little kids. But there are people that just say things like "Here you go, boss" to everyone.

Good Dog
Oct 16, 2008

Who threw this cat at me?
Clapping Larry
My cashier said "hi how are you", I replied "Good, you?". She replied "good".

The perfect conversation.


The receipt checker took an alarming amount of time to count the two items I bought. It was nonfat milk and ground turkey.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
I didn't even know the receipt checkers regularly talked. The one time I heard anything from one at our costco he just made a joke about our cart, the gf had gotten a new laptop and I had a bag of yukon golds, that was p much all we had and he made a crack about how expensive potatoes must be these days.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
I get upset when people talk to me.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
Last time I got a pack of hot dogs the guy at the door noticed that I didn't have buns on my receipt. Now THATS service.

(i eat em straight up without buns at home)




Also, I have noticed that they are asking if I would like a box. Even if I have clearly enough items to warrant it. Is this something new they are doing?

sandball
Jan 6, 2006

Ultimate Mango posted:

poo poo like this makes me want to wipe my rear end (in the bathroom you pervs) with the receipt between checking out and leaving past the receipt checkers. Or at least give them the ole mallrats stink palm.

I think you might be a horrible person.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
Also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caE722rpSVQ

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89
Grimey Drawer
Surprise, even in the happy Costco thread goons can't help turning autistic and weird. Receipt checkers drawing smiley faces and making banter is cool and good, everyone.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Laterite posted:

Surprise, even in the happy Costco thread goons can't help turning autistic and weird. Receipt checkers drawing smiley faces and making banter is cool and good, everyone.

:hai:

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES
Bulgogi Bake looking magnificent.

Math You
Oct 27, 2010

So put your faith
in more than steel
Bless those receipt checkers. They are simply trying to bring the next generation into the flock.

Surely they will be successful when your children think back on the nice people who took the time to speak to them, compared to your sperging self. You may be their parents, but Costco raised them. Praise be!

FCKGW
May 21, 2006

My local Costcos usually have two receipt checkers and they spend their time talking to each other and hardly never make eye contact with customers.

Lines move super quick tho

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Ultimate Mango posted:

I’ve timed them at ours. First they have to pay a compliment and half the time literally pinch the cheeks or pat the shoulder of the little one. Then they ask some question. Maybe about a favorite thing they bought at Costco or how school was. Then they wait for a response and maybe follow up. I poo poo you not. Then they inspect the receipt and mark off the items. Then, and only then is it doodle time. I’ve never seen a happy face take so long but oh the artistry some think they have. I can’t believe it’s not Salvador Dali’s best rendition of Mickey Mouse. Maybe an elephant or god knows what. But it’s not four lines. It’s forty strokes to draw these, like they are masters at Japanese calligraphy.
God forbid you start to walk out the door while they are drawing. Then they just take longer.

They do this for every single goddamned child.

I was fine when it was just a three second smiley face.

Answer me honestly here....what kind of conversations do you have with your barber, or stylist, or whoever cuts your hair?

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


bob dobbs is dead posted:

used to work for lady gaga's startup, which was exactly as bullshit as you would think. they called me h-man

we bought lotta poo poo from costco

You can't just dropa bomb like this and then chill. lady gaga startup?

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

Grem posted:

Answer me honestly here....what kind of conversations do you have with your barber, or stylist, or whoever cuts your hair?


We talk about all kinds of stuff. Travel, sports, new restaurants in the area (or new to us). I try to not ask them about work, because they are at work, and I only talk about my work if the rent something interesting (not just bitch). Some of my family also goes to the same person, so sometimes there is a little family gossip (not telling of horrible family secrets obviously).

I’m fine with small talk. I am not fine with people wasting my time when I am trying to leave a store when I already paid and I have a thousand other things to do and a screaming two year old.

It to be nice and fast, and it has evolved past nice into annoying.

Sure, I’m an awful person, and an rear end in a top hat, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t wasting my time.

GI_Clutch
Aug 22, 2000

by Fluffdaddy
Dinosaur Gum
There's an old guy who checks receipts at our Costco that likes to make jokes. He always calls me cookie monster when I check out with a bunch of the chocolate chunk cookies for the wife. He's a cool dude.

secular woods sex
Aug 1, 2000
I dispense wisdom by the gallon.
The Damen Costco in Chicago has a receipt checker who does a phenomenal job coordinating her outfits, down to the acrylic nails. She’s amazing.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

Happy to trade receipt checkers with you all.

In other news: Costco chicken soup is pretty good when you are sick. Nice strong thyme flavor.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

poisonpill posted:

You can't just dropa bomb like this and then chill. lady gaga startup?

It was like ning, or Facebook groups, back when Facebook groups sucked technically (they continue to suck for content)

It failed for technical reasons and because Facebook ate its lunch

Half the programmers were Croatians so they couldn't pronounce American names and of course vice versa, so that's why everyone started the first initial - man name thing

actionjackson
Jan 12, 2003

I suggested to the woman I'm dating that we go to Costco sometime (she has a membership, not me). She thought it was a good idea.

Also when I used to eat meat, I'd always put ketchup on hot dogs, and my dad would always make some stupid comment about how I shouldn't. Who gives a gently caress haha

jerry seinfel
Jun 25, 2007


I own a house with my gf and I added her to my costco membership

When I told her she seemed more excited than when we closed on the house

Im Ready for DEATH
Oct 5, 2016

actionjackson posted:

I suggested to the woman I'm dating that we go to Costco sometime (she has a membership, not me). She thought it was a good idea.

Also when I used to eat meat, I'd always put ketchup on hot dogs, and my dad would always make some stupid comment about how I shouldn't. Who gives a gently caress haha

well now you are vegetarian, an even worse move than putting ketchup on a dog

it seems you have regressed. you have much to atone for. eat 3 dogs and drinks (w/refill) and 4 rotisserie chickens.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
went to Church today at 9:55. parking lot was already 65% full and doors technically didn't open till 10 but looks like they opened them 10 minutes early (which is really rare they usually open on the dot) and so we got in pretty quick outside of the usual 50+ person line waiting. store wasn't too bad but it was still busy enough with people leaving carts in the center of aisles and poo poo to be frustrating. we got in and out fairly quickly but food court was already jammed up (like always) so we didn't bother. parking lot was 110% full with sharks everywhere by the time we left about 45 minutes later.

i really wish they would open more costco's here in the bay area, its loving insane and i only manage to get out there once a month anyways since it's so unpleasant.

their clothes and shoes selection was surprisingly really loving bad right now. they used to have awesome $20 shoes that looked good to wear to work, and lots of nice shirts or jackets but nada right now. just some garbo puma white stiff tennis shoes and some expensive (by costco standards) polos.

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay
The clothes selection generally seems to suck really bad after christmas and before spring/summer.

I bought some work pants last year that loving rule but they're starting to wear out and I haven't found anything at the store to replace them. gently caress going anywhere else and paying more than 15 for pants that are just gonna get covered in piss and poo poo at work. I can't believe I used to pay $30 for scrubs, I'm an idiot.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

Looking forward to those union bay cargo shorts coming back. Got a bunch several years ago and some are getting a little worn, time to restock. Best deal on shorts.

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
C—c-c-CARGO?

actionjackson
Jan 12, 2003

Im Ready for DEATH posted:

well now you are vegetarian, an even worse move than putting ketchup on a dog

it seems you have regressed. you have much to atone for. eat 3 dogs and drinks (w/refill) and 4 rotisserie chickens.

Interestingly enough, eating a rotisserie chicken and being disturbed by it afterwards was the main reason I became a vegetarian.

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Math You
Oct 27, 2010

So put your faith
in more than steel

actionjackson posted:

Interestingly enough, eating a rotisserie chicken and being disturbed by it afterwards was the main reason I became a vegetarian.

What disturbed you exactly?

The fact that there was a carcass left over and you had to reconcile that you ate a living thing instead of just a hunk of "meat"?

Or the shame of eating a whole chicken in one serving?

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