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SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Lone Goat posted:

Not sure what I hate more, Donathan's voice or Stephanie's ridiculous fake tits. They're both incredibly distracting.



But they are distracting in good ways :eng101:

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Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012
The hilarious thing about the cursed legacy advantage is that after getting it, Jacob almost immediately repeats Fan Favorite Sierra Dawn-Thomas's exact mistake, oversharing with someone he should not trust and getting booted from the game. The only difference is that now the legacy advantage has the potential to ruin two people's games! :haw:

Victorkm
Nov 25, 2001

I feel like Domenick has a bit of a lead on the Florida bros. Though they didn't show much of that tribe all around, it seems like those two just sort of cliqued themselves up while Dom is getting along with the rest of the tribe and seems pretty likeable.

blue squares
Sep 28, 2007

Victorkm posted:

I feel like Domenick has a bit of a lead on the Florida bros. Though they didn't show much of that tribe all around, it seems like those two just sort of cliqued themselves up while Dom is getting along with the rest of the tribe and seems pretty likeable.

Yeah, putting a potential swap aside if Domenick can prove himself as a challenge asset he will have a much easier time convincing the rest to boot one of Chris or Michael.

Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008




I had to check. Donathan is from Kimper Kentucky. Eastern Ky is some of the poorest places in the US. They’re so poor and have no jobs that the state won’t even stoop so low to implement work requirements for food stamps. That might explain why he can’t dive a few feet after a couple mintutes of swimming.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist

Zesty posted:

If Laurel isn't the first person voted out on her tribe, I'll eat this post.

So how we doing this, thread?

Teek
Aug 7, 2006

I can't wait to entertain you.
I say take a screenshot and have the image printed on top of one of those "print your image" custom birthday cakes. Then post a pic of it in the thread. Seems like that would be more fun that just eating a piece of paper it's printed on. Maybe you could also include a picture of Jeff's head in the image or make the cake more Survivor themed.

This way you have to pay some money out of pocket for the cake so it's a bit of a real punishment.

Teek fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Mar 2, 2018

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
I've decided Jacob was a weird lovechild of Seth Rogan, TJ Miller and Eric André, but he somehow managed to avoid inheriting any of their charisma.

Raxivace
Sep 9, 2014

The one guy looking suspiciously like Paul Ryan bothers me way more than fake Seth Rogen does.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

The biggest warning sign about Domenik seems like that initial thing where he took Probst's bait to say Chris screwed up. Its that sort of thing that will get him in trouble. His personality was sort of presented as off putting but it did seem like Wendell and others actually liked him and it was just the Florida Bros who didn't like him. But we'll have to wait and see.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Teek posted:

I say take a screenshot and have the image printed on top of one of those "print your image" custom birthday cakes. Then post a pic of it in the thread. Seems like that would be more fun that just eating a piece of paper it's printed on. Maybe you could also include a picture of Jeff's head in the image or make the cake more Survivor themed.

This way you have to pay some money out of pocket for the cake so it's a bit of a real punishment.

I like this, also because you have to give the image to the bakery to actually put on the cake.

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

A sad Professor Plum
sitting on a toilet.

Invalid Validation posted:

I had to check. Donathan is from Kimper Kentucky. Eastern Ky is some of the poorest places in the US. They’re so poor and have no jobs that the state won’t even stoop so low to implement work requirements for food stamps. That might explain why he can’t dive a few feet after a couple mintutes of swimming.

He did though. It was the Obama administration dude that got into Harvard on a track & field scholarship that couldn't dive. :lol:

Invalid Validation
Jan 13, 2008




Shneak posted:

He did though. It was the Obama administration dude that got into Harvard on a track & field scholarship that couldn't dive. :lol:

Oh I know, he was about to cry cause he had to go back and dive a couple feet again after sitting on the platform for 5 minutes.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Man, leave James alone. That dude has some self esteem issues. He hates himself.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

STAC Goat posted:

Man, leave James alone. That dude has some self esteem issues. He hates himself.

I know you're joking but him owning the failure ultra hard was a strategic move to stay.

I think he overplayed it, but it may end up not mattering if things get switched up enough.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Yeah, I'm like 80% kidding. And it will only matter if it turns out that other 20% that thinks he might just be the sort of person who really kicks himself when he fails might be true. But its Survivor so he was probably just putting on a show.

As long as he doesn't have to do any more swimming challenges for his tribe.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!
James is also smart enough that it seems to impede on his social skills somewhat (I don't know why that's even a thing but it's something I've noticed in general). I could see him either flaming out early or having a Spenceresque journey of growth.

Raxivace
Sep 9, 2014

Was he just that bad of a swimmer? I didn't understand how he was having so much trouble, especially for a guy that looked to be in pretty good shape.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!
His technique was really bad, yeah. I never took lessons or anything, but he was almost doing bellyflops when he needed to get down head first, so no momentum plus tons of horizontal surface area made for a bad time.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Yeah, he gave me the vibe of the kind of guy who has an idea of how well he's going to play or lead or something and if it doesn't work out he won't handle it well. Not necessarily the sort of brash, arrogant "leader" that Chris came off as. More like the kind of Andrew Savage on Pearl Islands thing where he WANTED to be the great leader and when it didn't work out he took it real hard.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

STAC Goat posted:

Yeah, he gave me the vibe of the kind of guy who has an idea of how well he's going to play or lead or something and if it doesn't work out he won't handle it well. Not necessarily the sort of brash, arrogant "leader" that Chris came off as. More like the kind of Andrew Savage on Pearl Islands thing.

He doesn't strike me as wanting to lead or being too inflexible, more that he'd say really dumb poo poo to people without even realizing what he'd done wrong or second guessing it.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Yeah, I probably put it wrong. I think I agree with you.

Like, self sure and driven to the point of intractability and inadvertent bluntness?

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.




Raxivace posted:

Was he just that bad of a swimmer? I didn't understand how he was having so much trouble, especially for a guy that looked to be in pretty good shape.

As someone who can't swim (or even float), it's eludes me how someone literally can't Go Down In The Water, since it's the default direction for me.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

As someone who can't swim because once upon a time I kinda sorta drowned I can say that in my personal experience "default" is more down... up... down... up... down... up... blackness.

I would not do well on Survivor.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
Armchair Survivors check in!

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Yeah! Everyone beat my boast of "I'd drown in the first episode"!

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Zesty posted:

Armchair Survivors check in!

There's nothing armchair about saying it's dumb to go in survivor with zero swim ability or having never seen a bug or a stick.

loving build a fire, open a coconut, swing a machete. These things cost nothing! WHY

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.




The Bloop posted:

There's nothing armchair about saying it's dumb to go in survivor with zero swim ability or having never seen a bug or a stick.

loving build a fire, open a coconut, swing a machete. These things cost nothing! WHY

Also learn a god drat slide puzzle there's a billion free apps for it on your phone.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Lone Goat posted:

Also learn a god drat slide puzzle there's a billion free apps for it on your phone.

Every time I replay Wind Waker I'm certain I'm going to get something meaningful for completing all the slide puzzles in the cabana

Shemp the Stooge
Feb 23, 2001

Raxivace posted:

Was he just that bad of a swimmer? I didn't understand how he was having so much trouble, especially for a guy that looked to be in pretty good shape.

He looks really lean. I am tubby and I float now but when I was in high school I was on all the sports teams and in excellent shape but super lean. When it came to swimming I got no help from buoyancy at all and it took a huge amount of energy just to tread water. He looked like he was tapped out from racing and treading water wasn't cutting it for recovery. I think the biggest issue aside from bad technique was that he was near his VO2 max and could only hold his breath for a couple of seconds in that state.

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
One thing that people seem to forget or are afraid to do is exhale while being underwater. When you hold your breath you tense up and don't release the build up of CO2 in your lungs. That buildup is what is actually making you feel uncomfortable when holding your breath, not a lack of oxygen. On a short dive like in that challenge, you want to hold your breath to start the initial dive and then slowly exhale (or in a few bursts) as you swim down to do the task.

The other problem is that swimming in the ocean IS actually different than swimming in a pool because salt water is more buoyant since it's more dense than freshwater.

Other than that, James should have dived down headfirst. It's very difficult to go down in water without actually facing down unless you can either pull yourself down or have a weight on you. The human body is naturally buoyant, generally speaking, and if you try to sink down feet first and then kick your legs, you are just going to pop right back up again. The way to dive down into the water is to just bend forward and go down. It can actually slightly easier if you kick slightly to pop out a little higher and then bend over to dive down.

Your legs are the main way you propel yourself underwater. Your arms are more for directional/fine control/assistance.

And remember, holding your breath is actually a skill that you can increase through practice, but it's also obviously affected by other things like smoking or asthma or other conditions. The average person can only hold their breath for around a minute.

edit - here's a fun world record: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/longest-distance-swam-underwater-with-one-breath-(open-water)

edit2- the world record for holding your breath: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/longest-time-breath-held-voluntarily-(male)
Otherwise known as a guy floating face down in water for a really long time, but it's kind of neat to watch the end and see the struggle to get that final minute and then the recovery.

TMMadman fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Mar 3, 2018

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

TMMadman posted:

One thing that people seem to forget or are afraid to do is exhale while being underwater. When you hold your breath you tense up and don't release the build up of CO2 in your lungs. That buildup is what is actually making you feel uncomfortable when holding your breath, not a lack of oxygen. On a short dive like in that challenge, you want to hold your breath to start the initial dive and then slowly exhale (or in a few bursts) as you swim down to do the task.

The other problem is that swimming in the ocean IS actually different than swimming in a pool because salt water is more buoyant since it's more dense than freshwater.

Other than that, James should have dived down headfirst. It's very difficult to go down in water without actually facing down unless you can either pull yourself down or have a weight on you. The human body is naturally buoyant, generally speaking, and if you try to sink down feet first and then kick your legs, you are just going to pop right back up again. The way to dive down into the water is to just bend forward and go down. It can actually slightly easier if you kick slightly to pop out a little higher and then bend over to dive down.

Your legs are the main way you propel yourself underwater. Your arms are more for directional/fine control/assistance.

And remember, holding your breath is actually a skill that you can increase through practice, but it's also obviously affected by other things like smoking or asthma or other conditions. The average person can only hold their breath for around a minute.

edit - here's a fun world record: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/longest-distance-swam-underwater-with-one-breath-(open-water)

edit2- the world record for holding your breath: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/longest-time-breath-held-voluntarily-(male)
Otherwise known as a guy floating face down in water for a really long time, but it's kind of neat to watch the end and see the struggle to get that final minute and then the recovery.

Thanks for the reply I didn't have the expertise for. Echoing once again that James had horrible form, even for a novice.

The buoyancy of the human body is important to remember because your lungs are basically gigantic balloons. For example, when I saw Titanic with family as a wee one, my PT aunt was up in arms in the car because Jack actually should have floated; he'd died breathing.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist

The Bloop posted:

There's nothing armchair about saying it's dumb to go in survivor with zero swim ability or having never seen a bug or a stick.

loving build a fire, open a coconut, swing a machete. These things cost nothing! WHY

I was agreeing with "I would not do well on Survivor" and acknowledging we're all just as ill-fitting to the game in some way.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

Zesty posted:

I was agreeing with "I would not do well on Survivor" and acknowledging we're all just as ill-fitting to the game in some way.

We are all Cochran.

Big Taint
Oct 19, 2003

My pony was Jacob. No regrets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SiylvmFI_8

Propaniac
Nov 28, 2000

SUSHI ROULETTO!
College Slice
How were there so many comments about Fake Seth Rogen and none about Fake Dave Franco and Fake Donald Glover?

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.

Spergatory posted:

Jacob is a new floor for superfans on Survivor. So, you know, at least he can say he pushed the boundaries of the game!

I can't believe we actually have a superfan that played a worse game than Max Powers.

I kinda feel bad that Michael already has a target on his back just because he's fit and good looking, but I guess that's no worse than Donathan having a target on his back because of how he looks and speaks.

The difference is that Donathan could go far, while Michael will likely be the second or third post-merge boot unless he has Sebastian/Chris as shields.

I don't think Donathan has a winning game, however. He could be a fan favourite, but he can't sell a FTC story.

Hard to get a read on the girls so far. Stephenie seems smart. Kellyn was good at making people work together during the puzzle. Morgan and Jenna have potential. The rest just kind of exist for now.

ApplesandOranges fucked around with this message at 13:20 on Mar 5, 2018

Big Taint
Oct 19, 2003

Donathan is so much like Kate McKinnon’s impression of Jeff Sessions.

SweetJahasus
Dec 23, 2005

Dragon Slayer
Samurai Warrior
Escape Artist
Viking
Chong-Ra Master

BE THE WIZARD
I finally got around to watching this episode yesterday and getting caught up on the thread. Boy, this cast is a poo poo show. That Stephanie seemed to have her head screwed on the tightest so I guess I'll root for her (though we didn't really see the purple team at all except for Domenick and the bro down).

Propaniac posted:

Fake Donald Glover?

This is very distracting to me.

Big Taint posted:

Donathan is so much like Kate McKinnon’s impression of Jeff Sessions.

Also this. Very on the nose.

Shemp the Stooge posted:

he was near his VO2 max and could only hold his breath for a couple of seconds in that state.

I have to comment on this, because this dude touts that he's a collegiate track athlete, which means he definitely wouldn't be near his VO2 max after about 20 seconds of swimming, climbing a ladder and going down a slide. If you've ever done a VO2 max test, you'd know it's going to take more than that for an elite (or even high-end regular) athlete to be topping out that quickly unless they have cardiac issues. Also, if you're a collegiate athlete you should know how to deal with adrenaline and not have it red line you immediately.

Finally, a great way to make yourself sink is to let out air. You'll sink really quickly and it takes zero effort to swim down there.

I really have no sympathy for people who go on Survivor and can't a) make a fire, b) swim, c) untie knots, or d) do slide puzzles (or even e) throw sandbags at targets). I mean c'mon people it's in EVERY SEASON. Once you get your 1 in 20 shot at a million bucks, put netflix or pornhub down for 15 minutes and practice this poo poo.

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The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

SweetJahasus posted:

I really have no sympathy for people who go on Survivor and can't a) make a fire, b) swim, c) untie knots, or d) do slide puzzles (or even e) throw sandbags at targets). I mean c'mon people it's in EVERY SEASON. Once you get your 1 in 20 shot at a million bucks, put netflix or pornhub down for 15 minutes and practice this poo poo.

Swimming is the hardest survivor skill to just learn on the quick but the others yeah.

There are similar puzzles and challenges that can easily be practiced in drat near every season. Basketball shots with smallish balls in a tall narrow container? OK, it won't be exact but put a bucket on a ladder and throw a few dodgeballs at it. Is it not worth $5 worth of supplies to at least try? Throwing beanbags at targets and some people act like they've never thrown anything at anything ever? SUPERFAN :hurr:

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