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baw
Nov 5, 2008

RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY
from 2016 but it's great and no one noticed it at the time

tenspott posted:

You start out in 2004 by saying, “Hipster. Hipster. Hipster.” By 2008 you can't say “hipster” — that hurts you. Backfires. So you say stuff like co-op, fair trade and all that stuff. You're getting so abstract now [that] you're talking about sustainability, and all these things you're talking about are totally economic things and a byproduct of them is [that] millennials buy more than Xers. And subconsciously maybe that is part of it. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying that if it is getting that abstract, and that coded, that we are doing away with the scene problem one way or the other. You follow me — because obviously sitting around saying, “We cater to certain activities,” is much more abstract than even the co-op thing, and a hell of a lot more abstract than “Hipster, hipster.”

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Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

Gatekeeper posted:

I've not a uterus within me, and schwarzeneggering a cavity in my abdomen Junior style is off the table too, so I don't have to worry about knocking any buns up my oven. but im still curious about this: why can't you eat cold cuts whilst pregnant? and how do IQ points factor into this cold cut business?

i'm a boars head beastie, not gonna lie. its not ALL i eat or anything autysmal like that, but i definitely enjoy a nice cold cut hero when i can get one: a good ol' turkish sammler, piled high with smoky sliced prov, crispy lettuce, juicy 'maters, veins of tangy mayo, all slapped inside a toasty italian breadloaf. it's extremely my poo poo, and i pride myself on making the meanest turked sanduskies in town. so it's a bit disconcerting to hear that my beloved sammaturks are off limits for expecting mamas. can a turksam really make a fetus turn stupid? :ohdear:

Inspiring.
https://soundcloud.com/stanley-swanson-150846885/sammaturks

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

On BDSM:

Grandmother of Five posted:

It is a real big mystery imo why all the STEM and IT-guys who have jerked off to porno babes all through HS and college, all the way up until they marry a fat, pale mirror-version of themselves will want to tie up their wife and beat her instead of kissing her on the mouth.

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"




Holy poo poo that voice

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

omg




omfg




:stwoon:

purple death ray posted:

Can't get enough sammo hungs.

a sammo hung is a sausage hero :rolleyes:

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Gatekeeper posted:


a sammo hung is a sausage hero :rolleyes:

OK that's a good one

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.


Buglord

idgi

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!
That being said, you can still eat cold cuts if you throw em on a frying pan for a few minutes first. But of course that half defeats the purpose.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Sir Lemming posted:

That being said, you can still eat cold cuts if you throw em on a frying pan for a few minutes first. But of course that half defeats the purpose.

Doesn't that make them way more carcinogenic?

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
Cold cuts are honestly kind of gross, all that slick, pink meat.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
That's what she said.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

The Maestro posted:

I want you to re read all of that and answer your own question.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Please don't try and write like this anymore

"schwarzeneggering a cavity in my abdomen Junior style" is one of the greatest phrases i've read in a while so i'm gonna have to respectfully disagree with this

The Maestro
Feb 21, 2006

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

"schwarzeneggering a cavity in my abdomen Junior style" is one of the greatest phrases i've read in a while so i'm gonna have to respectfully disagree with this

I was fine with the first paragraph, and even into it, but then it just kept going.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









The Maestro posted:

I was fine with the first paragraph, and even into it, but then it just kept going.

just like life firend

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

The Maestro posted:

I was fine with the first paragraph, and even into it, but then it just kept going.

look, if someone's batting average isn't great but when they do hit it's always a homer, you don't cut them from the team :shrug:

Rough Lobster
May 27, 2009

Don't be such a squid, bro

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Doesn't that make them way more carcinogenic?

Yeah but the baby absorbs all the carcinogens for you, it's like a living dream catcher.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Rough Lobster posted:

Yeah but the baby absorbs all the carcinogens for you, it's like a living dream catcher.

I'm 80% sure dream catchers don't absorb heavy metals.

Although babies are 90% nightmare so checks out I guess?

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
When will science give us all cancer absorbing babies so no one gets cancer? Really slipping here science.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Creamed Cormp posted:

women are elavators because they lift our spirits, our lives and our society

#respectwomen

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Rough Lobster posted:

Yeah but the baby absorbs all the carcinogens for you, it's like a living dream catcher.

Lawks

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slćgt skal fřlge slćgters gang



my baby living the cancer dream

Ornamental Dingbat
Feb 26, 2007

Noblesse Obliged posted:


Favorite band: Third Eye Benign

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

The Maestro posted:

I was fine with the first paragraph, and even into it, but then it just kept going.

ive got a major chubs for deli subs i guess and much like a stupid child or a clever dog i can get carried away by my own excitement.

ive even heard "I was fine with the first [xyz], and even into it, but then it just kept going" before too, usually just in person tho like when i showed an ex girlfriend my idea for the "fellatiouroboros" - turns out it had already been a thing for millennia, and simultaneous blowjays seemed super obvious in hindsight. my name is better i think but i don't make a fuss about it anymore since "in a fellatiouroboros my humpty nose will tickle your rear" does NOT flow at all and id be one dumb suckfucker to argue with the rap group from "Nothing But Trouble". ugh im getting carried away again :doh: just a sucker for exciting stuff like synchronized mouthfucking

please be patient with this simple idiot fucker who loves to :justpost: with enthusiasm, even about simple idiot poo poo like eating sanduskies whilst schwarzepreggers :angel:

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
and thank you to everyone who explained how moms munching deli meats leads to busted fetal headmeats.

my mom never ate any cold cuts while i was up in them guts but when she was three months pregnant with me, my dad forgot to tell her that he had gotten some pot brownies from a work-bud, and she ate a couple of em while she waited to watch the Challenger launch. she said it was a pretty bad fuckin afternoon. how this relates to her loinproduct's use of the word sammaturk thirty years later? I'd have to ask a doctor. like, a weed doctor.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I wonder what it feels like to have an edible high while a fetus is literally swimming inside your guts, much less watch the Challenger explode.

value-brand cereal
May 2, 2008



HisMajestyBOB posted:

Head fell off but shoes stayed on so he's fine.


Powershift posted:

That depends on what you consider the "person"

If it's the brain, then he ripped his body right off of his head, shoes included.


Ornamental Dingbat posted:

I was taught that all sperms have souls so therefore the personhood is stored in the balls.

if the gif dies, it's of a person on a scooter driving straight into a lowered train crossing pole thing and flying out of the screen while the rider's helmet pops off backwards. Also it's a running joke for the thread that if the person getting into an accident loses their shoes they're probably dead.

Rough Lobster
May 27, 2009

Don't be such a squid, bro

Gatekeeper posted:

ive got a major chubs for deli subs

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN

Gatekeeper posted:

and thank you to everyone who explained how moms munching deli meats leads to busted fetal headmeats.

my mom never ate any cold cuts while i was up in them guts but when she was three months pregnant with me, my dad forgot to tell her that he had gotten some pot brownies from a work-bud, and she ate a couple of em while she waited to watch the Challenger launch. she said it was a pretty bad fuckin afternoon. how this relates to her loinproduct's use of the word sammaturk thirty years later? I'd have to ask a doctor. like, a weed doctor.

I dislike your vernacular because it feels like you're trying too hard to be witty or funny in every clause or phrase of what you write so it comes of grating and stilted when I read it. Thanks.

Untrustable
Mar 17, 2009





I read those posts and my mind conjures Eric Christian Olsen's face and voice and it pisses me off. Not Gatekeeper's fault. Just my brain.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Solice Kirsk posted:

When will science give us all cancer absorbing babies so no one gets cancer? Really slipping here science.

I can help with that. :whatup:

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

Untrustable posted:

I read those posts and my mind conjures Eric Christian Olsen's face and voice and it pisses me off. Not Gatekeeper's fault. Just my brain.

The Maestro
Feb 21, 2006

Gatekeeper posted:

and thank you to everyone who explained how moms munching deli meats leads to busted fetal headmeats.

my mom never ate any cold cuts while i was up in them guts but when she was three months pregnant with me, my dad forgot to tell her that he had gotten some pot brownies from a work-bud, and she ate a couple of em while she waited to watch the Challenger launch. she said it was a pretty bad fuckin afternoon. how this relates to her loinproduct's use of the word sammaturk thirty years later? I'd have to ask a doctor. like, a weed doctor.

Hey man it’s all good, everybody needs an editor. You have a unique voice and I’m cool with it, it just might not be my bag.

I also feel compelled to tell you that “up in them guts” is absolutely slang for loving, not being a fetus in a womb

ass frog
Feb 28, 2018

by Smythe
tasty anus

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Brevity is the soul of anus

ass frog
Feb 28, 2018

by Smythe
i changed it to make it funnier, by juxtaposing "tasty" with the image of the anus, an organ with which tastiness is not often associated

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Spanish Manlove posted:

I dislike your vernacular because it feels like you're trying too hard to be witty or funny in every clause or phrase of what you write so it comes of grating and stilted when I read it. Thanks.

I mostly agree, but

quote:

ive got a major chubs for deli subs

Is actually just great

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

rear end frog posted:

i changed it to make it funnier, by juxtaposing "tasty" with the image of the anus, an organ with which tastiness is not often associated

Brevity is the anus of wit :(

ass frog
Feb 28, 2018

by Smythe
the purpose of a post is to inform and delight

PopeCrunch
Feb 13, 2004

internets

I dunno Gatekeeper parses like Andy from The Office to me, and I like Andy.

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doverhog
May 31, 2013

Defender of democracy and human rights 🇺🇦
Too many words, trying too hard. He should read some Bukowski.

I still appreciate the posts for the beauteous face of Princess Irulan.

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