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The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
  • fact: science has never observed the origin of cobwebs
  • fact: any spider they're attributed to is always long dead or inert, never near the webs
  • conclusion: interdimensional phase spiders leaving behind ghostly ephemeral signs of their passage
cats are aware of them, but unable to effectively hunt their incorporeal forms

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OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Cobwebs are a delicious treat from nature

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Aren't they just dust

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Sid Vicious posted:

Aren't they just dust

heathen.

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
how the gently caress dust gonna suspend itself hmmm? jesus sid think!

these things subsist upon the hopes and aspirations of sedentary and slothful people

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
i once saw a house centipede stuck on its back on a spiderweb and i was very pleased that a spider had trapped one of these suckers and will eat it and grow strong and make more webs to catch them
but i was wrong. the centipede was plucking the web to draw the spider closer and then it snatched it and jumped off the web no problem

spiderwebs are a bunch of trash

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


I read somewhere maybe Highlights! for Children that cobwebs are actually just dust?

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

it's dust collected on a spider web, hth op

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Sid Vicious posted:

I read somewhere maybe Highlights! for Children that cobwebs are actually just dust?

You're ruining it for the rest of us. :grumpy:

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


bradzilla posted:

it's dust collected on a spider web, hth op

This wasn't brought up in Highlights! for Children

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Sid Vicious posted:

I read somewhere maybe Highlights! for Children that cobwebs are actually just dust?

this is tissue thin propaganda to protect young minds from The Eldritch Truth

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

bradzilla posted:

it's dust collected on a spider web, hth op

you're wrong, no terrestrial spiders spin such webs, nor have they ever been observed to do so

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

Though typically mistaken for spiderwebs, thin messy looking cobwebs are often actually a form of fungus closely related to mold.

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

gary oldmans diary posted:

i once saw a house centipede stuck on its back on a spiderweb and i was very pleased that a spider had trapped one of these suckers and will eat it and grow strong and make more webs to catch them
but i was wrong. the centipede was plucking the web to draw the spider closer and then it snatched it and jumped off the web no problem

spiderwebs are a bunch of trash

cool lol

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

gary oldmans diary posted:

i once saw a house centipede stuck on its back on a spiderweb and i was very pleased that a spider had trapped one of these suckers and will eat it and grow strong and make more webs to catch them
but i was wrong. the centipede was plucking the web to draw the spider closer and then it snatched it and jumped off the web no problem

spiderwebs are a bunch of trash

i once watched a wasp going along on foot across my back porch just fearlessly diving headfirst into one spider hole after another looking for a meal. just imagine dunking into a tiny crawl space to find an arachnid bigger than you and ripping it out into the sunlight with your jaws and rear end-stabbing it to death. badass

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


I wish I had a sword,attached to my butthole

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Sid Vicious posted:

I wish I had a sword,attached to my butthole

hell :same:

Sai-kun
Feb 6, 2011

Is it ever going to be enough, to love another and be loved?

The Protagonist posted:

  • conclusion: interdimensional phase spiders

thanks, how do i delete this?

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
i know someone with cobwebs in their vagina

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Hector Beerlioz posted:

i know someone with cobwebs in their vagina

That sounds pretty unlikely heck...

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

i know someone with cobwebs in their vagina

this is actually a very common mummy problem


Sai-kun posted:

thanks, how do i delete this?

w/ a bullet

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
help im trapped

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

dick e bunz lol

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


bradzilla posted:

dick e bunz lol

That's me

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
holy poo poo wait thats a book not an album what

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

bradzilla posted:

dick e bunz lol

Dude, OF Dick E. Bunz.

Voltage
Sep 4, 2004

MALT LIQUOR!
Actually it's piss

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless

gary oldmans diary posted:

i once saw a house centipede stuck on its back on a spiderweb and i was very pleased that a spider had trapped one of these suckers and will eat it and grow strong and make more webs to catch them
but i was wrong. the centipede was plucking the web to draw the spider closer an d then it snatched it and jumped off the web no problem

spiderwebs are a bunch of trash

I had an exterminator tell me house centipedes are the apex predator of the insect world. He said it with such awe and pride I was impressed.
However guests were not when I explained that when they saw one it meant there were no other bugs in their room.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)

Sid Vicious posted:

I read somewhere maybe Highlights! for Children that cobwebs are actually just dust?

holy cow you brought me back

also I swear there was some goth porn girl way back in the day with a similar name to sid vicious but im not going to look it up because im 30 now

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
centipedes are rad as gently caress. appreciating them is what you graduate to when spiders no longer bother you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iVXvAWyNBM&t=22s

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
it really likes the skin

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

I was working a three man job this one time. one of my coworkers ran into a cobweb. Later that evening, he's dead. True story.

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
such is life in the zone

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless

The Protagonist posted:

centipedes are rad as gently caress. appreciating them is what you graduate to when spiders no longer bother you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iVXvAWyNBM&t=22s


The Protagonist posted:

it really likes the skin

One sixteenth of a second until I closed it.

The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Spinster posted:

One sixteenth of a second until I closed it.

Well you've got more stones than some, at least you clicked. I find it mesmerizing, it's like it saves the eyeballs for desert.

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

house centipedes are a little freaky looking and they are fast as gently caress but they are one of the best bugs to have in your house since they just run around all day murdering mites and mosquitos and other bugs that you really don’t want in your house

also you can watch them groom their many legs kind of like a cat, basically they are the house cats of the insect world and you should be happy to have one grace their house with their presence

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Sid Vicious posted:

That sounds pretty unlikely heck...

not funny

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


1gnoirents posted:

holy cow you brought me back

also I swear there was some goth porn girl way back in the day with a similar name to sid vicious but im not going to look it up because im 30 now

It's Liz Vicious

Lowtax
Nov 16, 1999

by Skyl3lazer

gary oldmans diary posted:

i once saw a house centipede stuck on its back on a spiderweb and i was very pleased that a spider had trapped one of these suckers and will eat it and grow strong and make more webs to catch them
but i was wrong. the centipede was plucking the web to draw the spider closer and then it snatched it and jumped off the web no problem
That's loving bullshit, there's somebody you should be able to sue for the BIG BUCK$$$$$ in situations like this

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unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

The Protagonist posted:

how the gently caress dust gonna suspend itself hmmm? jesus sid think!

these things subsist upon the hopes and aspirations of sedentary and slothful people

this can't be true. they're all over my house and i sell crack every day.

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