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The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]


Alternate title – A thief, a psychic and a priest walk into a bar in Wales.

******

What is Koudelka?
Koudelka is a JRPG with a heavy Survival Horror influence for the original Sony Playstation in June of 2000 in North America. It was the first major game released by Sacnoth which later became Nautilus and eventually came under the banner of AQ Interactive which also used to own our old friends Cavia. Sacnoth/Nautilus suffered the exact same fate at the exact same time when it was shut down and absorbed into its parent company. So that’s a fun parallel. Anyway, they are best known for making Koudelka and the Shadow Hearts series and... that’s about it! They did one other game on the Neo-Geo Pocket Color that’s not worth mentioning. But it’s pretty much just the Shadow Hearts series.

Koudelka is actually the progenitor of the Shadow Hearts series, taking place in the same universe and having a few characters and other elements that would later crop up there. But don’t worry about any of that!

So what actually is this game?
Koudelka is a weird mesh of survival horror in the vein of the PS1 era (read: Resident Evil.) A character utilizing tank controls is tasked with navigating a spooky gothic mansion setting (composed of 2D images from cinematic camera angles) full of dark secrets and bizarre monsters. The actual combat is more in line with a JRPG complete with random battles, turn based combat and movement on a grid. I suppose the closest comparison would sorta be Parasite Eve... if you squinted real hard. Sorta... Kinda...?

It is... honestly kind of a total mess. Apparently the director of the game, Hiroki Kikuta (who would be best known as the composer of Secret of Mana and Seiken Densetsu 3) wanted to make a straight Resident Evil type action/survival horror game while the rest of his staff wanted to make a RPG. So you get a weird splitting of the difference where there’s a robust RPG battle system full of all kinds of stats and numbers and esoteric bullshit confined to a... like 10-12 length game. Which would be more like 4-6 hours if there wasn’t random battles and dealing with a janky RPG battle system and just a standard Survival Horror type gameplay.

In summary, it’s a real jank mess of a game I’d not suggest playing but is worth experience. Like say in a LP or something. I dunno...

Does this mean you’re going to LP the entire Shadow Hearts series?! Should I start annoying you by asking straight away?!
Yep. I’m totally going to do the entire Shadow Hearts series right after I LP Parasite Eve 1 and 2. Or maybe the rest of the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII? Or perhaps Clock Tower 1 and 2...? I haven’t decided yet...

If that’s too intricate an answer: No. I don’t have plans at the moment to LP all the Shadow Hearts games and I’ll get annoyed if you asked. So don’t be a muppet and ask. Just enjoy the LP at hand. Sheesh!

With that said... let’s begin...

The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 04:53 on Jun 30, 2018

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The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]


Links to updates go here. What more could you ask out of life?



Episode I: Bloodborne
Episode II: Stat Chat 1898
Episode III: Welsh Hospitality
Episode IV: A Man of Faith
Episode V: On the Clock
Episode VI: Have You Seen My Mummy?
Episode VII: What a Sham
Episode VIII: Just Following Orders



Episode IX: Poor Little Angel
Episode X: Unpleasant
Episode XI: The Gang Tackles the Immigration Issue
Episode XII: Red Key Profile
Episode XIII: Full Welsh Alchemist
Episode XIV: The Vatican Heist
Episode XV: The Passing of Another Day



Episode XVI: Koudelka Rides Alone
Episode XVII: Domestic Violence
Episode XVIII: Don't Get Killed
Episode XIX: Say a Prayer
Episode XX: Wrath or Love
Episode XXI: Roger's Résumé
Episode XXII: Prequel Cliffnotes
Episode XXIII: Portrait of Ruin
Episode XXIV: Hearthstone
Episode XXV: The Apostle



Episode XXVI: It’s Five O’ Clock Somewhere
Episode XXVII: Onward to the Endgame
Episode XXVIII: Patrick's Vine
Episode XXIX: Raiders
Episode XXX: Nope... Nope! NOPE!
Episode XXXI: Just In Your Memories
Episode XXXII: Someday, Somewhere We’ll Meet Again



Cool and good fanstuff from the thread. Always appreciated.

Pyre of Word Salsa knows how Edward operates...



CountryMatters enjoys a classic sitcom produced on the BBC. It's been running for 13 years and they've produced a whopping FOUR episodes!




EagerSleeper has uncovered everyone's true purpose in the monastery.


Nohman thinks Lovecraftian beasts look better in tracksuits.




EagerSleeper has also found the heart of the journey.


Pyre of Word Salsa chronicled Edward's final days.


EagerSleeper has one last jam to show us.


EagerSleeper with translation work by Nimsant have put together a translation of Koudelka's Drama CD on Youtube. A full playlist is here. It's worth a listen after reading the LP. Spoilers obviously.

The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Jun 30, 2018

The Dark Id
Aug 13, 2005

Why
you
know
I
LOVE
THIS SHIT !!!!
[citation needed]
Episode I: Bloodborne


New Music: Requiem




We begin our journey on horseback across a foul and dreary land.





A forbidden land where few dare tread for fear of the horrid beasts that stalk its wretched hills...





A most odious and cursed stretch of earth cloaked in a never ending murky night.





That name of that wretched place, you ask? It’s spoken only in hushed tones among the degenerates and outcasts of society. That’s right... The forbidden land of...



...Wales. And on this night of all nights.



On that note, we begin our journey through Koudelka. It’s 1898 and we’re on the road to a monastery in Wales on Halloween night. What’s the worst that could happen? There are no difficult settings or... really much of any options upon starting the game. So let’s just jump right in, shall we?







Our horse mounted rider from the attract screen intro doesn’t seem to be having much luck getting a hold of any candy trick-or-treating at the front gate. People were way stingier with their treats back in 1898.



Though to be fair, I’d be kind of skeptical of a costume consisting of thigh high socks, a mini-skirt and a... green army jacket on your head? That’s not remotely how you wear a jacket. What are you even doing, lady?



Meet our protagonist, the titular Koudelka. Koudelka Istant. I... don’t think the game actually gives her surname name outside the instruction manual. Seeing as the Jacket Head costume is a bust for any treats, it’s on to the trickery.





Like tossing a rope attached to a pipe and climbing up to the roof top for optimal TP distribution across the cheeky monastery. I looked it up. Apparently the patent for a toilet paper roll was made in 1883. No information when the first use of it to damage the property of a lovely neighbor’s house was committed. This could be a first happening tonight. Koudelka could become legend.



We get a nice overlook of what will be the primary setting of our adventure – Old Yharnam Nemeton Monastary.



Koudelka takes some time to admire her surroundings and perhaps regret her choice in clothing for this infiltration into this totally not haunted, cursed and/or hexed ancient Wales structure before doing the sensible thing and...





...almost immediately slipping to her death. 3D platforming has never been easy.







Our heroine just manages to grab onto a nearby window awning before tumbling into the bottomless depths of Tartarus located directly beneath all points in Wales. Unfortunately, she loses a pendant she was wearing in the process.



This definitely won’t be important later in the game. Nothing has ever come of misplaced jewelry in the opening moments of a narrative. No sir. Unthinkable. Oh well. No use crying over lost pendants of hidden untapped power. There’s not going to be any entities opening portals to other time periods that it’ll be needed for here. Time travel doesn’t crop up until the Shadow Hearts series. :v:





Might as well just move on by kicking open the nearest window and begin our sneaking mission or... whatever the hell we’re doing here.





Unfortunately, it seems we’re not alone here. A gravely injured young man, with the same lovely hair cut every white guy in the ‘90s had at some point, is propped up near where Koudelka leaps into the room. The intruding woman creeps up to him, only...



Ugh.... Too early Angel. I'm not dead yet.
I’d like to say I’m at orange caution health but... that’d be a lie...





Not yet, but it looks like you're going to die soon.





<slowly raises gun with a shaky hand> Maybe... But you'll have to pardon me while I attend to some unfinished business first.



Business? What you can you possibly accomplish in your condition?



You can't even hold your gun steady.



Won't know unless I try.



That thing's not going to die unless I shoot it two or three times.
Hope so at least... Guy who sold me this said six bullets was more than enough to kill anything that moves... but I ain’t so sure anymore...
What are you even babbling about?




You should... really look behind you...
Tch. Like I’d fall for that one.
No... you should really...
Not happening.




Lady... there’s a warlwolf standing right behind you!
...A what?
<motions with gun> A warlwolf!
...Are you... are you trying to say... werewo—






Koudelka notices the interloper just in time to stab it with the knife she was going to use to gank the dying cowboy here. The beastman doesn’t take kindly to getting shanked... Most, cursed monster or no, don’t take kindly to that, in my experience.







The man tries to fire a shot at the werewolf while Koudelka is briefly out of commission, but misses his shot and immediately gives up trying to play the hero.



Dammit!



Here! Use this!



The man is too injured to make a shot at a seven foot tall monster man slowly trotting along just a couple paces away. But he has no problem winging his pistol 20 feet, straight over that same monster and into Koudelka’s hand. Sure...


New Music: Waterfall
(There’s like five music tracks in the game. So you should probably listen to the battle theme.)



We’re now thrusted into the first bit of gameplay in Koudelka. Surprise! It’s a JRPG despite all the survival horror trappings! Our enemy is this Werewolf which is really steamed Koudelka gut stabbed it during that last cutscene. It’s a reasonable response, really. For all we know it was just going to politely ask her to step aside so it could finish off that injured man, who’d killed his father outside a pub in Glasgow back in ’95.



We’re given exactly zero tutorial for combat. Not just because it’s an enemy that’s all but impossible to defeat. Koudelka offers almost nothing in the way of explaining its mechanics in-game. There are mechanical explanation found in the instruction manual. Remember those? Oh... you don’t have the manual handy, you say? Welp. Tough poo poo!





We’re not going to get into the details of combat just yet. Mostly because this is a terrible place to do that and this enemy will die from three shots of Koudelka’s newly gained revolver.



The Werewolf itself might advance on Koudelka’s position and take a swipe or, far more of a rude gesture, vomit green mist on her. Neither of these attacks do much more than 10-20 HP of damage while Koudelka has a health pool of 169 (nice) HP to tank any blows.





We’ll get into the specifics of combat next time. There are... kind of an absurd amount of mechanics to it for a JRPG that last all of 12-14 hours tops... Regardless, Koudelka manages to gun down the fearsome werewolf. Didn’t even have to do a single Visceral Attack. What a crappy beastman.



No victory poses in this game. Just a sweeping shot of the one who dealt the last blow and a good look at Koudelka’s costume. Well... as far as things with survival horror trappings, I’ve seen much worse choices in casual wear. Looking at you, Jill Valentine.



Slaying the Werewolf earns Koudelka some Cheese! Two pieces, in fact. No, it’s not Cheese 2, the sequel to Cheese. Unfortunately. Anyway, we won’t ask where a naked lycanthrope stored pieces of cheese on its person. Some questions are best left unanswered. Though, on top of our dairy earnings, Koudelka also learned Flare! We’ll get into what that means another time.



For now, we’re dropped into actual gameplay outside battle. It’s static cinematic camera angles of 2D backgrounds with 3D models ala the Resident Evil and other survival horror clones of the PS1 era.



Tank Controls? You bet your rear end there are tank controls! All we can do right now is pivot Koudelka and lumber her over to the artist’s depiction of the injured man in the background. Let’s see if he’s bled out during that fight with the werewolf.



Well... he’s no longer a 2D image and his polygonal model is still gyrating on the floor. Good enough for Koudelka. She turns to leave, but...



Hey, what about him?
<turns back> He's dead.
...Really? Thank you.
That warlwolf licked me good.
It is “werewolf.” Not warl... Why on earth do you keep saying it like... you know what? Forget it. I don’t have time for this.

Ugh... So I guess... my time is up...
Guess so. <starts to walk away>
Hey! Angel...



I'm not going to ask you to take me to heaven... but will you pray for me at least?
Are you out of your mind? Tch. There's no bloody way I'm going to pray for you. But... I guess I owe you because you saved me too.
Also I’m keeping that gun since you clearly aren’t any good with it. So...
<walks over to the man and kneels down> Payback time.
Ergh... Angel... I don’t need that kinda help...
Ugh... Just shut up and stay still.




Koudelka raises her arms and starts waving them over the dying man, causing a high pitched humming tone. It’s a very strange way to give a hug.



<screams in pain and starts clutching his stomach>
Shut up! Keep it down!



<stops doing her magic and starts breathing heavily> OK...
<stands up> Let’s go...
You owe me an ether for that. Or whatever they use in this godforsaken neck of the woods to restore MP.



<looks over himself confused>
Stand up or I’ll leave you here!
What happened? It doesn’t... it doesn’t hurt anymore... I’m cured!
Yeah? And? So I cured you. So what?



<looks up> You...? You cured me? B-But I was almost dead!
Tch. All your limbs were still attached. Don’t be such a baby.
I’m confused... so you... really are an angel?
Don't be foolish. Hah! Do you really think that there are angels on earth? I'm no angel. I'm just a medium with a little curing power. <turns to leave again>
Don’t make it weird. Sheesh. Don’t they have white magic in Wales?
I-I... I'm Edward J. Plunkett. I-I know I look pretty shady, but you don't look too wholesome yourself. I...
<turns back> No! I'm not like you and this is no place for people like you.
People like me? What’s that supposed to mean?
People that can’t handle a Level 1 Werewolf.
I-It just got the jump on me, alright?
Mhm.

Why did you come here?



I heard a rumor.
A rumor?
I heard something in London. That the son of some rich family bought an old monastery. Spent a ton of money converting it into a house. I heard he brought quite a lot of harlots here. Seems like he was having a great time.
So you were here to rob the place?
I prefer calling it redistributing wealth between class divides.

So. Where is this monastery?
That's what I want to know! I came all this way to put a poor man's fear of God into this rich bastard! So far I haven't found anything. Then this monster attacked me. I-I almost got killed!
Yeah, I gathered that part.
If you'd come any later no doubt I'd have been singing hymns in his stomach right now.
<looks away and talks under her breath> I shouldn't have brought such a good horse. She's too fast.
Just ten... twenty minutes later and I’d have avoided this whole dumb thing... <sigh>
Too bad you won't be hearing me singing those hymns. When I was a boy I was a pretty good soprano.
<turns to Edward> If you don't stop talking I'll leave you here! My name is Koudelka. And I'm only going to say this once... so don't forget. If you want to get out of here alive, I suggest you stick very close. Got it?!



Koudelka helps the newly restored Edward J. Plunket to his feet as he officially joins the party as our second of three total members of the group.



Charmed... I’m sure...
<pulls hand away and dead rear end stares him down>



I hope you enjoy a cast of characters that can barely tolerate each other’s bullshit! As we’ll be getting a lot of that during this tale! Tune in next time for an overly elaborate battle system for a very short RPG, way too many esoteric stats and other odd fun as the exploration of this mansion begins! You ever seen a man haymaker a sentient table set? Stay tuned for that and more!






Video: Episode 1 Highlight Reel
(You should watch this.)





Werewolf Battle – Boom! Headshot City! Werewolves are straight bustas.

The Dark Id fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Apr 12, 2018

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.
Soiled Meat
Aww yeah.

Ampuli
Nov 23, 2013
I don't remember anything about this game but this rocks.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


I've been curious about this one for a long time. I loved the original Shadow Hearts, but never managed to find a copy of Koudelka for what I would be willing to pay for it. I'm definitely looking forward to where this goes.

ManSedan
May 7, 2006
Seats 4
That’s some dope concept art!

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Koudelka is a weird as hell game and I love it for it.

U-DO Burger
Nov 12, 2007




I remember jack poo poo about this game so I'm real excited for this one

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Ground loving floor :woop: I'd actually completely forgotten about this game, but I am absolutely stoked to see your take on it, Id.

Shitenshi
Mar 12, 2013
Does this game have a bestiary of all the creepy monsters like the SH games did? Cause that was some scary rear end loving poo poo. I think I remember seeing that in the one SSLP of this game before it was removed.

Jagged Jim
Sep 26, 2013

I... I can only look though the window...
I love the Koudelka/Shadow Hearts series. It's just so delightfully wierd and absolutely does not take itself seriously.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

I knew a girl from Aberswyth College when I was back in University. She didn't mention that the place had a werewolf infestation.

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

Shitenshi posted:

Does this game have a bestiary of all the creepy monsters like the SH games did? Cause that was some scary rear end loving poo poo. I think I remember seeing that in the one SSLP of this game before it was removed.

my only exposure to shadow hearts was the bogleech article on the weird monsters from it.

this should be quite the ride.

Tendales
Mar 9, 2012

Ratoslov posted:

I knew a girl from Aberswyth College when I was back in University. She didn't mention that the place had a werewolf infestation.


Well not anymore.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Shadow Hearts' general 'weird as hell hyper-occult gothic fantasy' is real cool and good.

Zoe
Jan 19, 2007
Hair Elf
I know nothing about this game but it's a new TDI LP so, preparing to love this poo poo.

SystemLogoff
Feb 19, 2011

End Session?

I love our team in this game.

Haystack
Jan 23, 2005





I'm looking forward to the adventures of mutton chops and crew.

Sum Gai
Mar 23, 2013

Jagged Jim posted:

I love the Koudelka/Shadow Hearts series. It's just so delightfully wierd and absolutely does not take itself seriously.

Well, Shadow Hearts doesn't. Koudelka is surprisingly po-faced- every game in the series has kind of doubled down on the wackier elements.

Supersonic Shine
Oct 13, 2012
Never played the Shadow Hearts games, but I had fun reading their LPs and I'll have fun reading this.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Sweet, ground floor

Jen X
Sep 29, 2014

To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.
LP retirement: a fleeting dream

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


one strong toad
I was very confused reading the intro until I realized that I'd misread Shadow Hearts 0 as Kingdom Hearts 0.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

EasilyConfused posted:

I was very confused reading the intro until I realized that I'd misread Shadow Hearts 0 as Kingdom Hearts 0.
Nah, that's the mobile game :shepface:

Supersonic Shine
Oct 13, 2012

GeneX posted:

LP retirement: a fleeting dream
Just when Id thinks he's out, the sweet siren song of riffing on a ridiculous JRPG pulls him back in.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

"Hi Everybody!"
I have never heard of this game and I can't wait to see where this goes :munch:.

Epicmissingno
Jul 1, 2017

Thank gooness we all get along so well!

Literally the first word of the game, and it's spelled wrong. Great job, there. It's supposed to be Aberystwyth, by the way. How do you mess up the very first word?

Materant
Jul 22, 2010

see, what you don't understand is he now has

THE MANLIEST MUSTACHE

it defies physics


Epicmissingno posted:

Literally the first word of the game, and it's spelled wrong. Great job, there. It's supposed to be Aberystwyth, by the way. How do you mess up the very first word?

It's Welsh. No one will be able to tell the difference besides the Welsh, and there's not a person alive who can properly interpret them.

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010


If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER


Ultra Carp
Aw man it's been ages since I've followed one of your LPs, excited to see where this goes! :toot:

fucking love Fiona Apple
Jun 19, 2013

samus comfy so what

Ground Floor! Also I don't think a mini-skirt is proper house climbing gear.

Pangurban
Apr 29, 2015

Hell yeah. I'm liking Koudolka so far! Nice to have a survival horror protag who doesn't seem to be a fragile waif.

God, instruction manuals. I miss those. I was one of the nerds who actually read that poo poo, especially if they came with nice extra artwork and such.

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer

Pangurban posted:

Hell yeah. I'm liking Koudolka so far! Nice to have a survival horror protag who doesn't seem to be a fragile waif.

God, instruction manuals. I miss those. I was one of the nerds who actually read that poo poo, especially if they came with nice extra artwork and such.

Most people did as it was one of the only ways to understand how to actually play the game.

Kemix
Dec 1, 2013

Because change
Oh hey another Id LP so soon? Is it my birthday...? No, wait, that's summer, not early-rear end spring. Ah well, I'll take what I can get at this point. :munch:

chiasaur11
Oct 22, 2012



Materant posted:

It's Welsh. No one will be able to tell the difference besides the Welsh, and there's not a person alive who can properly interpret them.

My primary source of knowledge regarding Wales is Vinland saga, so I respect and distrust the Welsh in equal measure.

Anyway, old PS1 survival horror, eh? Should be interesting. Heard good things about the game's cutscenes, especially for the time, and the plot seems like it'll go places. I'm in.

Blackunknown
Oct 18, 2013


I never knew I needed to read an LP of a Survival Horror JRPG set in Wales until now. I’m looking forward to whatever insane plot this thing will throw around.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
Koudelka's a weird game more people need to experience.

I'm happy for this thread.

The Vosgian Beast
Aug 13, 2011

Business is slow
Never mind didn't know it was a spoiler

The Vosgian Beast fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Mar 22, 2018

Materant
Jul 22, 2010

see, what you don't understand is he now has

THE MANLIEST MUSTACHE

it defies physics



I don't really know anything about Koudelka, but that seems like a good thing to keep on the down-low until the character themselves reveal it.

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Jeabus Mahogany
Feb 13, 2011

I'm mad because of a thorn in my impenetrable hide
This seems like a good time.

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