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The chili mac with extra hotsauces and jal cheese was nice. And the jambalaya was loving good if you're comparing it to like... frozen or canned fare.
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Apr 11, 2018 10:20
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We should get an ex-con in here to tell us about prison food and how it holds up against military grub. E: The IDF usually includes tuna (in oil) cans in the rations and soldiers have figured out that if you perforated the can in several places, stuffed the holes with TP so as to create 'wicks' and light them then the tuna gets a very smokey chicken like flavour and texture. E: update:    Pretty dang tasty. By popular demand fucked around with this message at 12:17 on Apr 11, 2018 |
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Apr 11, 2018 10:33
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It also clearly doubles as an oil lamp in a pinch, with a delightful tuna genie inside ready to fulfill all your protein wishes.
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Apr 11, 2018 15:16
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Grem posted:The pound cake is the only good carb/bread thing. Like holy gently caress how do you eat that bread without dying of bread and a fatigued jaw?
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Apr 11, 2018 15:41
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It burns for quite a while, you could probably boil some eggs for the tasty tuna salad.
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Apr 11, 2018 16:55
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:It burns for quite a while, you could probably boil some eggs for the tasty tuna salad. I'm probably going camping next week. Let's see if I can actually buy tuna packed in oil at my local grocery store....
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Apr 11, 2018 19:03
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It turned out that it works best if you remove the lid entirely and place some unrolled pieces of paper to soak. Just don't let them get completely oily, you need some slack to light.
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Apr 11, 2018 19:27
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:It turned out that it works best if you remove the lid entirely and place some unrolled pieces of paper to soak. Just don't let them get completely oily, you need some slack to light. Do you have a source? Now madly curious. I'll try to document it for y'all. Hope I dont just end up with burnt tuna. Also, from what I've seen of convict food in the news, it's rotten baloney sandwiches and prison loaf. As little nutritional value and expense as possible to maximize profits. It's actually quite horrific. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/12/prison-food-sickness-america/549179/ , http://www.governing.com/topics/public-justice-safety/gov-private-food-service-prisons-aramark-trinity-ohio-michigan.html \/\/ Ah ha, first hand knowledge! All right, I'll mess around with it. \/\/ edit: Oh, and havbe a fun Mother Jones read on private prisons. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/06/cca-private-prisons-corrections-corporation-inmates-investigation-bauer/ MRE's please Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Apr 11, 2018 |
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Apr 11, 2018 21:17
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Don't need no source, the dang thing got snuffed by the wind until I did this. E:^^^^ if I was forced to eat this bad of a food I may have degenerated into a cannibalistic ghoule. By popular demand fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Apr 11, 2018 |
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Apr 11, 2018 21:21
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Suspect Bucket posted:Do you have a source? Now madly curious. that mother jones article is a loving ride holy poo poo
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Apr 12, 2018 12:49
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Just saw this and figured it went here. Good old Mr. Manley. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eauxlp1wN8Q
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Apr 12, 2018 19:33
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Samizdata posted:Just saw this and figured it went here. Good old Mr. Manley. Like I needed more excuses for alcoholism.
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Apr 12, 2018 19:55
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chitoryu12 posted:Like I needed more excuses for alcoholism. It struck me as dovetailing nicely with your torpedo juice.
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Apr 12, 2018 20:18
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I actually just got a bottle of okolehao, a semi-native Hawaiian distilled beverage (it's made with cabbage palm root from Hawaii, but it took an escaped Australian convict to teach them the art of distillation). It's a mixture of sugar cane and ti root, completely unaged. Apparently it was very popular on US military bases around the time of World War II, but wartime shortages resulted in a lot of unscrupulous or unskilled distillers flooding the market with lovely product and resulting in commercial rum, vodka, and whiskey imports to push it out of the way. It's worth picking up a bottle if you can stomach about $30 in shipping costs to the mainland United States. It's kinda like white rum with a faint bitter-sweetness added.
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Apr 12, 2018 20:28
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chitoryu12 posted:I actually just got a bottle of okolehao, a semi-native Hawaiian distilled beverage (it's made with cabbage palm root from Hawaii, but it took an escaped Australian convict to teach them the art of distillation). It's a mixture of sugar cane and ti root, completely unaged. Apparently it was very popular on US military bases around the time of World War II, but wartime shortages resulted in a lot of unscrupulous or unskilled distillers flooding the market with lovely product and resulting in commercial rum, vodka, and whiskey imports to push it out of the way. No money for such things, but it sounds lovely. (BIG rum fan.)
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Apr 12, 2018 20:40
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:We should get an ex-con in here to tell us about prison food and how it holds up against military grub. As someone who not only worked for a US Army DFAC but also spent a couple months in a privatized, for-profit jail, I feel qualified to answer any questions y'all might have! DFAC food beats jail food by miles. Hell, I'd gladly eat the worst US MRE invented as opposed to another tray featuring "star patties" (mystery meat), collards (which I'm still convinced were the grass clippings from inmates mowing the median strips of highways) and stale bread. To quote one fellow inmate: "How in the world do you gently caress up a hot dog so badly?" If nothing else, MREs provide condiments. We had to buy our own salt and pepper, and I don't think Tabasco was even an option. My canteen account was hosed up from the get-go, so I didn't have any money for the first few weeks despite friends chucking money in. Since I'm an artist, I quickly started a business trading drawings (tattoos, greeting cards for their kids birthdays) for anything to add flavor to the "grits", until that matter got settled. (That Mother Jones article was spot on in describing the futility of inmates airing grievances, among 1000 other things.) My spouse saved my letters home, and on re-reading them, one that always makes me sadly chuckle is where, smack in the middle of gushing about how much I love him, his weekly visits mean the world to me, I'm so sorry to be a burden, etc, I just blurt out: "drat, I miss salt."
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Apr 12, 2018 21:58
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drat the American correctional system is horrid, I'd have to ask a friend of mine who spent time in jail here to see how the food is.
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Apr 12, 2018 22:58
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JacquelineDempsey posted:As someone who not only worked for a US Army DFAC but also spent a couple months in a privatized, for-profit jail, I feel qualified to answer any questions y'all might have! i am ashamed of my country but proud of your spouse.
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Apr 12, 2018 23:31
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:drat the American correctional system is horrid, I'd have to ask a friend of mine who spent time in jail here to see how the food is. At the risk of majorly derailing the thread, I'd love to hear what inmates in other countries eat. Also, my favorite food-in-jail story involves a holiday. I'll post it if folks are curious, but keeping on topic, thinking it about led me to wonder what holiday food is like in the military. Anything special? Do you get extra chow, or special MREs in the field? The DFAC I worked for went all-out the day before a holiday (eg., 12 turkeys and shrimp cocktail and the like on Thanksgiving Wednesday), but then we'd close. Bonus for me was taking home a whole turkey and about 5 pounds of shrimp home one year because we were gonna throw it out. Sigh. Such waste there. 
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Apr 12, 2018 23:46
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Apr 12, 2018 23:52
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Well, alright, I'm supposed to be working on a grant proposal right now but maybe more writing will get my juices a-flowing. I quickly learned that Wednesday was the best day for food, because it was chicken day. For lunch, we got two real pieces of chicken, usually anemic drumsticks that were probably the garbage cast-offs that some local Virginia poultry farm couldn't sell to Food Lion, but hell, it was real meat that obviously came from a real animal. Wednesdays were a treat. My stint happened to take place during 4th of July (for non-US goons, this is a day we barbecue lots of animals to celebrate declaring our independence), and this year the 4th happened on a Wednesday. A woman in my pod who did laundry had a thing going with a cook (women with privileges could do laundry, only men could cook) and heard a couple days before from him that we were getting fried chicken for the 4th, as a treat. As of the 2nd, we were already drooling over this prospect. Around 0600 on the 4th, we can smell the chicken frying. On no other day (except chicken Wed's and pb&j Saturdays) did we know what was gonna be served, because unlike prisons like that in the MJ article, jails are almost literally airtight. You spend a lot of your time locked in your cell behind a door that has no bars, it's solid metal with a tiny window. Even during free time, the pod is practically hermetically sealed, with multiple "airlocks" between you and the kitchen. So the fact that we can smell fried chicken is driving us insane. We are getting giddy as gently caress over this. Finally lunchtime (around 1045) comes around, and someone yells "TRAYS ROLLING!" which means get out of your cell and start jockeying into position to grab a tray and eat for the whopping 15 minutes they allowed for chow time. I get my tray and it smells heavenly. There's two pieces of battered fried chicken, some mashed potatoes about the consistency of of yogurt (with a pat of margarine, holy poo poo), and a spoonful of watery corn. I immediately grab a leg, sink my teeth in, and... My teeth won't come back out. This chicken has been cooked so long you could build low-income housing out of it. I pick some fry batter off and munch that, and it's like obsidian shards of sheer disappointment in my mouth. I pull some meat off the bone, and as I start chewing this chicken jerky, I begin to wonder if the tears welling up in my eyes might not be used to add seasoning and moisture to it. Soooo, much like this post, it was a whole lot of build up to the biggest let-down ever. I don't recall what we got for dinner, I think that was business as usual. Then just to add the (15 cents a packet) salt to the wound, my jail was literally across the highway from Busch Gardens, and at lights out we got to listen to their spectacular July 4th fireworks display, but not see any of it, because, y'know, no windows. I admit, I cried a lot that night.
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Apr 13, 2018 00:56
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Holy crap - drove past that facility literally thousands of times coming off 64. Never really gave it more than a glance.
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Apr 13, 2018 01:31
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We love you JD! Thank you for sharing.
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Apr 13, 2018 03:04
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I was never angrier about the senseless waste of what should be good food. Do you think that it was incompetence or could it be that they got close to rotting stock and decided to burn the gently caress out of it for supposed hygiene?
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Apr 13, 2018 05:27
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Prison food story Hey, JD can you share your stories with the awesome The Jail/Prison Thread, too?
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Apr 13, 2018 06:11
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This is literally hell.
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Apr 13, 2018 16:13
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Last Transmission posted:Hey, JD can you share your stories with the awesome The Jail/Prison Thread, too? Didn't know there was one! There used to be one in A/T years ago, I loved posting in there, and folks seemed to appreciate getting a woman's stories (did you know that jail-issued menstrual pads make great scouring sponges to keep your cell clean? #jailhacks) Thanks for the tip, I'll see y'all over there soon! And thanks for the kind words, all, and humoring my little derail. Reading that Mother Jones article dredged up a lot of memories, and it always feels good to tell some with as much humor as I can muster.  Keeping on topic of military food, I think my next post here will be "That Time Some SSGT Thought It Would Be A Good Idea To Make Enough Chitlins For 800 Soldiers".
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Apr 13, 2018 17:39
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Really wanna hear more from you, JD!
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Apr 13, 2018 21:36
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Man that mother jones article, just holy poo poo
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Apr 14, 2018 16:38
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angerbeet posted:Man that mother jones article, just holy poo poo I know right!?
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Apr 15, 2018 06:36
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Ok, camping and trying the tuna thing. Also seeing if I can heat up water for some dehydrated soup. I'll let you know how it goes. EDIT: Trip report! That actually works pretty good. It uses up the oil, and leaves you with some tasty toasty tuna. It's not enough heat to boil water, but you could probably melt snow with it. Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Apr 21, 2018 |
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Apr 18, 2018 22:44
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Apr 22, 2018 19:56
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I'm afraid to ask what we're looking at here, chito I see everclear, a can of pineapple, and a camera with a boom I'm kinda getting a phantom boner about sitting in a dish drain
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Apr 22, 2018 20:14
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JacquelineDempsey posted:I'm afraid to ask what we're looking at here, chito I didn’t have anywhere else to fit the tripod.
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Apr 22, 2018 20:17
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chitoryu12 posted:I didn’t have anywhere else to fit the tripod.
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Apr 22, 2018 20:50
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Sanity's overrated
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Apr 22, 2018 20:51
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Heard, but this still doesn't explain what crimes against sanity await us I roped a very lovely girl into the torpedo juice experiment. Don't worry, she already drank Everclear straight on a dare, so she knows what awaits her. I'm also making the mawmenny for my historical cooking thread afterward, and I have the following selections for drinks: * Single malt scotch * Dark rum * Okolehao * Nigori sake * Red wine * Champage * Glühwein We're gonna have a good night.
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Apr 22, 2018 21:33
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No pesca? No wine concentrate? No flat beer?
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Apr 22, 2018 23:13
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:No pesca? No wine concentrate? No flat beer? Unfortunately I drank all the beer.  I found a better spot to film.
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Apr 22, 2018 23:48
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chitoryu12 posted:Unfortunately I drank all the beer. How many kitchens do you have?
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Apr 23, 2018 01:33
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