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We were so slow this weekend I was laying mulch in the flower beds in front of the store. Painfully dragassing slow. Summer has arrived. 
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Apr 23, 2018 01:35
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Dropped a coconut milk on the floor, but my hands were full so I asked my coworker to balance it on my shoulder. I don't know what was on the floor but my shoudler smells really loving vile and the carton was wet so it picked up every nasty on that floor and I dont have extra clothes in my car and every time I move my arm I get a whiff and I want to douse myself in bleach
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Apr 23, 2018 01:44
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If you douse yourself in bleach how can you achieve class consciousness and seize the means of production.
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Apr 23, 2018 04:04
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I know I can have an anger problem at work sometimes, especially if I feel unsupported, but why beg to be on bar and get practice in if you're just gonna be mad every time someone orders anything and slam fridge doors and slam the ice bin open/shut and then when you have downtime youre standing there on your phone playing games, not even bothering to clean fridges or wipe down cabinets or do loving ANYTHING except be a little lovely baby about having to do work lovely piss babies dont get bar time!!
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Apr 25, 2018 05:07
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Like three days ago, I was doing some last minute closing stuff. Somewhere along the way, I lost my box cutter. Came in the next day, and I asked two managers. "Anyone find a box cutter?" Nope. Looked in the coolers. I looked in my deep freeze. I looked in the dairy cooler. I looked in the crates. I looked in the boxes. No. Box cutter. OK, I thought. It had to be home. I went home. I tore my room apart, twice, looking for this thing. Couldn't find it. Checked the jacket I was wearing. Nothing. I checked under the sofa, under the bed, my closet, the dog's bed, under the dog's bed. E-va-ree-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare. Nothing. By the end of the first day I was pissed and knifeless, but, whatever. Tomorrow. It was nowhere in my house. It had. To be. At work. I came in again. Again, I asked, "Anyone turn in a box cutter?" Nope. I re-traced my steps, obsessed, trying to figure out where the gently caress I put it. I've had that knife longer than most of my co-workers have had jobs. Me and my box cutter, we've seen some poo poo. Literally. So I threw a truck using a loving lotto pencil as a box knife, because nobody had access to the office with the spare knives. Third day. I had moved on. I had accepted that my knife had been taken, or thrown away. Whatever. It had gone to the big box store in the sky. I went to the ASM, and I asked her if we could get a new knife. "Sure." Together we went into the store manager's office ( she was gone ), and after some fiddling with the keys, the ASM found the one that opened the reliquary where we stored our sacred blades- the store manager's desk drawer. There, on top of boxes of unopened knives, was my box cutter. The box cutter that the store manager had found, picked up, and then didn't tell anyone about at any point in the past two days. 
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Apr 27, 2018 03:45
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You now have your box cutter in your hand and murder in your heart. You know what must be done.
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Apr 27, 2018 14:56
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Yawgmoth posted:You now have your box cutter in your hand and murder in your heart. You know what must be done. Kill all the boxes and leave no tape uncut. Leave the remains in your managers office with a note. "You had me cutter. Now have me boxes."
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Apr 28, 2018 02:34
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That's why I buy the gaudiest box-cutter I can find (it's neon pink).
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Apr 28, 2018 06:08
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The put in an EAS at work (door beeper things if some one steals) two weeks ago. They had to cut into the ground to lay wire for it. They activated it yesterday at 8pm. One side doesn't work.
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Apr 28, 2018 09:20
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After two glorious weeks of helping people hear again and providing real improvements to peoples lives, tomorrow I got back to selling sugar and cigarettes. I honestly don't think I can do this much longer 
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Apr 28, 2018 11:09
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Anora posted:The put in an EAS at work (door beeper things if some one steals) two weeks ago. They had to cut into the ground to lay wire for it. They activated it yesterday at 8pm. One side doesn't work. What actually happens when those beep on a shoplifter as opposed to going off accidentally or with someone who immediately pats their pockets and goes "oh shoot"? My assumption has been that those things are like the obvious "smile you're on TV" cameras to deter but ultimately do little/nothing
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Apr 28, 2018 15:38
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What actually happens is that honest people freeze and shoplifters bolt. There’s also my favorite shoplifting scam, where a well dressed white guy and a poorly dressed black guy worked together—the white guy would stuff the pockets of his overcoat while the black guy wandered aimlessly around (and if any loss prevention staff were around they’d invariably be following him). Then they’d walk out together, the alarm would go off and the black guy who was carrying nothing would occupy the attention of everyone nearby yelling about racism and poo poo while the white guy happily walked back to his car with the loot, which they’d divide later. 
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Apr 28, 2018 15:45
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Eric the Mauve posted:What actually happens is that honest people freeze and shoplifters bolt. This is poetic
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Apr 28, 2018 15:48
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Eric the Mauve posted:What actually happens is that honest people freeze and shoplifters bolt. Man this is some White Men Can't Jump poo poo.
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Apr 28, 2018 22:18
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Honestly if your management and security weren't so racist they would catch the white guy in the act so I have no sympathy.
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Apr 29, 2018 00:55
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I work in the art department in my (otherwise stationary/technology based) store, and it's great because everyone is always letting me know about suspicious people heading over to me and I'm like "no that is just an artist, that's what they look like".
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Apr 29, 2018 03:11
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I've been selected for jury duty, and will be eligible to be drawn the same drat day my vacation ends. I find this hilarious and terrifying, because I've just gotten my freezer squared away reasonably well and I shudder to think what it would look like if I was gone for longer than a week.
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Apr 29, 2018 03:40
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NerdyMcNerdNerd posted:I've been selected for jury duty, and will be eligible to be drawn the same drat day my vacation ends. On the plus side you get a vacation extension with the possibility of an enriching activity. I've always wanted to do jury duty.
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Apr 29, 2018 06:40
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Volmarias posted:What actually happens when those beep on a shoplifter as opposed to going off accidentally or with someone who immediately pats their pockets and goes "oh shoot"? My assumption has been that those things are like the obvious "smile you're on TV" cameras to deter but ultimately do little/nothing Nothing much, I just hope it scares away some of the more blatent shoplifters.
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Apr 29, 2018 09:09
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All it'll really do is sort the guilty. Like another goon said, the innocent will stop immediately to figure out what the problem is, the deliberate shoplifters will just loving book it.
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Apr 29, 2018 13:44
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Our company, not too long ago, did a communicator roll-out. Gone are the days of the PA system, no. The only people who use that these days are bored cashiers, who'll cue up the mic late at night and start tapping out a beat, which sounds like the Hand of God is poking the side of the building just to make sure we'll all OK and definitely not sinning in there. These radios are actually somewhat useful, most of the time. They're handy, and despite how annoying they can be to wear, I'd rather have one than not. The problem is that... well, they're expensive. I'm not sure how much they cost, but I'm sure they cost at least a few hundred dollars each. And we wear them every day, so... they get beat up. They smack against doors and things, the ear piece wires get caught on box corners, etc, etc. Slowly, but surely, they began to break. A few days ago, I went in, opened the walkie-talkie case, and found the bottom of it littered with the corpses of ear-pieces passed, the wires wrapped-in on themselves like the limbs of a dead spider. Out of some forty radios, fifteen or so stood without ear-pieces on the charging racks. Some others were tagged "broken". One remained. I picked it up, flicked it on, and... nothing. No beep. Took the headset off, clicked on-off. Nothing. Tried the ear-piece with some of the other radios- no go. I went through eight, with and without the ear piece, before I gave up, on the basis that trouble-shooting radios isn't my job. So I told the CSM to page me if she needed me. "Why don't you have a radio?" she asked. "There aren't any working ones left. So, uh... can we get them repaired, or...?" She smiled, but not really, and said, "I talked to the store manager about that. She said that we can only order five replacement ear-pieces every three months." I guess we're not using radios for a while. The Lord Bude posted:On the plus side you get a vacation extension with the possibility of an enriching activity. I've always wanted to do jury duty. I wouldn't mind. I doubt that I'd get on a jury, or that any case would last very long, but it isn't as though I'd be missing out on a great deal of money by collecting the jury stipend. Pretty sure our grocery manager would be upset though, given how we're already down: Stockers Janitors ( all but one quit ) Cashiers ( always down at least one ) Dairy ( we've been rotating up to three different people + him in and out every week ) And a meat department guy. Our store has more openings than a sponge.
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Apr 29, 2018 16:22
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Think of the most insanity-inducing, mind-numbingly boring thing your imagination can come up with. Jury duty is ten times more boring than that.
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Apr 29, 2018 20:43
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Eric the Mauve posted:Think of the most insanity-inducing, mind-numbingly boring thing your imagination can come up with. My jury duty story is the defense prosecutor dragging things on and on with anecdotes and I'm pretty sure she added 2 days to the trial because of it. I wanted to leap out and strangle her when she decided to bring up podcasts and how she heard about how they got satellites back in the Iraq war to see who did a bombing and blah blah.
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Apr 29, 2018 21:31
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Our company last year and even further back have been doing the walkie talkie crap instead of the PA. Thankfully I kept getting transferred to stores that didn't have them yet, until early this year. The store manager there didn't know how to properly talk into the ear/mic piece extension, so many people struggled to understand him. Unfortunately the manager was also a quick tempered one, so he'll yell into the drat thing in anger when we inevitably ask "what did you say?" One day he got so mad about it he came bursting in to our department punching the cooler drapes and started cussing while he looked for an item in our backstock. He scared the poo poo out of the guy cutting meat. Walkie talkies are a good idea in theory, but when more than half the employees are half-wits, the walkie talkie system fails. The idiots I work with managed to get our designated walkie talkie wet twice, second time ruining it. They almost never return the drat thing to the charging station at night when they leave. Some how some way I saw a couple walkie talkies without mic buttons. Multiple idiots try to be funny by whispering into them and are instead extremely annoying, especially when I'm helping customers. Multiple idiots cracking inside jokes that the rest of the store couldn't give two shits about. Idiots talking way too loud into the mic, drowning out the customers' voices I'm trying to help.
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Apr 29, 2018 23:41
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The trouble with paying rock bottom wages is that you give up the luxury of firing people who are lazy, stupid, or both lazy and stupid. You hire and keep anyone who shows up for most of their shifts and live with whatever you get out of them.
Eric the Mauve fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Apr 30, 2018 |
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Apr 30, 2018 00:01
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Last night someone burned a burrito in the microwave so bad that you could barely see three feet in front of yourself in the breakroom. Our store that just got remodeled doesn't have working smoke detectors even though there are three in the breakroom and three more in the hallway leading to it. 
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Apr 30, 2018 01:46
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The Aardvark posted:Last night someone burned a burrito in the microwave so bad that you could barely see three feet in front of yourself in the breakroom. Your local fire marshal will be fascinated to hear about this.
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Apr 30, 2018 02:01
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Leal posted:My jury duty story is the defense prosecutor dragging things on and on with anecdotes and I'm pretty sure she added 2 days to the trial because of it. I wanted to leap out and strangle her when she decided to bring up podcasts and how she heard about how they got satellites back in the Iraq war to see who did a bombing and blah blah. Defense prosecutor?
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Apr 30, 2018 04:46
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Eric the Mauve posted:Think of the most insanity-inducing, mind-numbingly boring thing your imagination can come up with. So, work, but I can sit down and leave at a set time every day? Not seeing a downside.
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Apr 30, 2018 04:56
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Had some winning customers over the last few days: Customer: Do you have pickles? The ones that come in a bag? Me: No, we don't carry those. Customer: Where can I find them? Me: There's a grocery store just down the street. Customer: No, I mean in here. Me:  Phone customer: Do you carry potting soil? Me, with a line of people 5 deep at the register, alone in the store: Yeah Phone customer: What!? Me: Yeah, we have it. Phone Customer: How much Me: I'm not sure Phone Customer: Well, can you go look Me: No, I'm busy at the moment Phone Customer: Is your Manager there? Me: No Phone Customer: And what's your name? Me: So a kid walked in today, had to be roughly 17, comes up to me: "How do you know which batteries are 'double A?'" 
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Apr 30, 2018 10:13
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therobit posted:Defense prosecutor? Er, lawyer.
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Apr 30, 2018 11:16
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therobit posted:Defense prosecutor? 
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Apr 30, 2018 20:37
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Manager came up to me while I was on bar by myself with 10 drinks in queue and told me that customers complain about us closers because we're not friendly or smiling and to try and do that more  Every single day from 3 to 6 we have the after school/work rush. We dont have enough people for bar support on this daypart. I would be so much more friendly and chipper, even, if I had some loving help every once in a while I'm pissed and I'm at the gas station on my break and I'm afraid if I sit here too long I won't go back. Anyway 7/11 has baja blast slushies
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Apr 30, 2018 22:52
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Shithead employee is quitting. Another employee is using this to go behind my back to the store manager and bad mouth me so she can force me out of the AM position and get it for herself. She very nearly convinced shithead employee to call HR and file a bogus hostile workplace claim against me. She has neither the knowledge of what we sell nor the knowledge of what a headache this position is with the innane bullshit I do all day to actually do my job. As an added bonus, shes become friends with our store manager so this adds a level of touchyness to any conversation I would try to have with my boss. On the other hand, half our full timers have flat out stated that they would quit in protest if she replaced me as ASM. I hate store politics so loving much.
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May 1, 2018 02:26
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Anora posted:So a kid walked in today, had to be roughly 17, comes up to me: "How do you know which batteries are 'double A?'" But how do you like, truly know, maaan
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May 1, 2018 02:29
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Hello, half of the people on my shift are on light duty due to injuries.
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May 1, 2018 03:18
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I went to a store I used to work at to buy a few things and I guess customers still remember what I look like and kept trying to ask me for poo poo. lmao
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May 1, 2018 15:11
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The overpriced hippy grocery store I work for is doing a company wide Cinco de Mayo costume contest. I see no possible way in which this can go badly. Haha jk, people are gonna be horrifically racist and we're gonna wind up with HR mandated sensitivity training.
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May 1, 2018 20:01
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It'd be nice if they'd just go ahead and schedule the sensitivity training so you can circle whatever date in June and know you have to work that day.
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May 1, 2018 20:04
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 14:28 |
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All of our janitors have quit. They're down to one, who is clo-opening 40 hour weeks for the next two weeks. The first person they offered the dairy position to has declined it. They offered it to me, starting the week I scheduled my vacation. I declined. The third person in line for the dairy position, having not gotten the job, called out. She's probably quitting. My managers are having a great time. 
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May 2, 2018 04:19
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