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Solarin
Nov 15, 2007

Bofast posted:

It sounded like a good album title, so...


holy poo poo this is good

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AbstractNapper
Jun 5, 2011

I can help

For $200 (or was it more?) this amazing driving experience could be yours. Really you can't put a price to it.

Virtual Captain
Feb 20, 2017

Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.
:pray:

EvilJoven posted:

Love you too, Lowtax. Now where is my loving picture of a space ship?

:eyepop::popeye::eyepop:

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Frank_Leroux posted:

You know, driving the Mako in Mass Effect 1 could be a frustrating experience, and there has been plenty of bitching about how awfully it handled.

I'd play a game that was nothing but driving the Mako before playing twenty seconds of...whatever this is. It is the opposite of fun. Anti-fun?

The Mako, at least, was effectively indestructible. Not to mention that Bioware poked fun at it in ME2 by making it canon that Shepard drives like a maniac.

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016

tuo posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IS8J4ex6Uc

(maybe the song gets awesome at the end, I never managed to listen to it for more than a minute, because it's so loving against everything this song actually is and should be)

I listened 30 seconds and the singer sing out of tune, so there is that.

Neltharak
Jun 7, 2013

My landlord is selling my apartment, what jpeg can i use to convince him it's a great investment that will pay off in ten to twenty years as soon as he exempts me from rent ?

Discuss

Sample_text
Apr 28, 2018

by VideoGames

"....whereby the recipient promises to use received PC to exclusively play Star Citizen and prominently display CIG's logos. Failure to do so results in a breach of contract.

EDIT: Also, I joined SA so I can meet fabled game developer Derek Smart. I heard he's around here. Can anyone tell me when he posts?

Sample_text fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Apr 28, 2018

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



Sample_text posted:

"....whereby the recipient promises to use received PC to exclusively play Star Citizen and prominently display CIG's logos. Failure to do so results in a breach of contract.

EDIT: Also, I joined SA so I can meet fabled game developer Derek Smart. I heard he's around here. Can anyone tell me when he posts?

about 3 weeks ago

Agony Aunt
Apr 17, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Sample_text posted:

"....whereby the recipient promises to use received PC to exclusively play Star Citizen and prominently display CIG's logos. Failure to do so results in a breach of contract.

EDIT: Also, I joined SA so I can meet fabled game developer Derek Smart. I heard he's around here. Can anyone tell me when he posts?

Exclusively play Star Citizen? So... using streaming software is not covered in the agreement then? :P

Poor saps.... so, no using that PC for browsing porn or playing other games.

Yeah, right.

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



Agony Aunt posted:

Exclusively play Star Citizen? So... using streaming software is not covered in the agreement then? :P

Poor saps.... so, no using that PC for browsing porn or playing other games.

Yeah, right.

the PC comes with StarOS and StarDRM

Agony Aunt
Apr 17, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Daztek posted:

the PC comes with StarOS and StarDRM

And the wallpaper is set to be an unchangable picture of Ben Lenslock... naked.

BANG! There you go, there's the porn!

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Daztek posted:

the PC comes with StarOS and StarDRM

The license key is a referral code.

Sample_text
Apr 28, 2018

by VideoGames

AbstractNapper posted:

For $200 (or was it more?) this amazing driving experience could be yours. Really you can't put a price to it.

Bit off topic, but let's take a moment to soak in the hilariousness of :
-Designing your ships with actual mechanical elevators in a universe where "gravlev technology" and "tractor beams" exist.
-Having elevators on ships that are expected to land on un-even surfaces
-Having to crobble together the necessary scripting to avoid them clipping through the floor (not implemented yet, here's how it will work ...)
- Having to figure out how will your mechanical elevator work if your space chariot is upside down.
-......and not just use some cheapo spotlight particle effect as your "grav shaft" , that can clip through the terrain, suck up players and ships, and do all sorts of weird "gravity-esque" things without looking odd.
....AAALLLLL so you can rip off that one scene in sci fi movies where the commandos descend nervously and slowly from the ship in complete darkenss on the "unknown world " with only their flashlights flicking around. You know, you've all seen that scene...

CrazyLoon
Aug 10, 2015

"..."

alert game crash close

Neltharak
Jun 7, 2013



At this point it's unoriginal fiction

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

Crowd-sourcing QA now too

TheLastRoboKy
May 2, 2009

Finishing the game with everyone else's continues
Alert front scam close alert starboard scam close alert front scam close

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Best part is the two reflected red lights constantly in your front line of sight.

And lol they can't even mimic hoverbikes without loving it up horribly.

Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

tuo posted:

I'm basically a huge fan if video game music is interpreted IRL, like an orchestra playing Zelda, Final Fantasy etc.

Then again there is this, when it completely falls apart because the singer has not the slightest cue what the tone of the song should be :/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IS8J4ex6Uc

(maybe the song gets awesome at the end, I never managed to listen to it for more than a minute, because it's so loving against everything this song actually is and should be)

I don't even care about Portal that much and even I thought that singing felt wrong given what it's like in the game

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

The gall of this is unbelievable. "Hey, go use the DLC you paid for that doesn't work and show us how it doesn't work! Thanks for QA-testing the broken poo poo we sold you suckers!"

Galarox
Sep 23, 2015

Fun Shoe

loving magnificent! I really loved the comparison to the wildcatters - history does tend to repeat itself huh.

Blue On Blue
Nov 14, 2012

Neltharak posted:



At this point it's unoriginal fiction

Calling it now

This will be their largest and biggest production show ever , one final hurrah to try and save it all. They will pull out every stop and sell absolutely everything. Possibly even deep discounting jpegs just to move them in quantity.

They will also alienate 80% of their loyal fan base in the push for new blood

One in the Bum
Apr 25, 2014

Hair Elf
To those of you who brave the brown sea, let's try to make "wildcat" a trigger word for shitizens.

DapperDon
Sep 7, 2016

Sample_text posted:

I joined SA so I can meet fabled game developer Derek Smart. I heard he's around here. Can anyone tell me when he posts?

Yeah. About that. You may want to take a seat. I have some disappointing news for you.

Neltharak
Jun 7, 2013

DapperDon posted:

Yeah. About that. You may want to take a seat. I have some disappointing news for you.

Derek went to a farm upstate.

tooterfish
Jul 13, 2013

Sample_text posted:

EDIT: Also, I joined SA so I can meet fabled game developer Derek Smart. I heard he's around here. Can anyone tell me when he posts?
I'm afraid the good do c xtor has left the building.

For a simulated warlord experience, try yelling "let me loving finish!" at a mirror for a few hours.

Sample_text
Apr 28, 2018

by VideoGames

AlbieQuirky posted:

The gall of this is unbelievable. "Hey, go use the DLC you paid for that doesn't work and show us how it doesn't work! Thanks for QA-testing the broken poo poo we sold you suckers!"

Meanwhile, 2007 called :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5BY2gHFvAs

Sabreseven
Feb 27, 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEZHUmvZutc

Skip to 38s, it's being difficult.

I hate this hasn't been posted yet. :(

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

trucutru posted:

You are presuming that Chris is good enough of a director to catch that unnatural walk.

The problem here is that even people who love Sandi with an almost creepy sense of white knightery also recognize her complete inadequacy as an actress.

I'm pretty sure the only person who doesn't recognize every piece of acting Sandi does is terrible is Sandi herself. I'm pretty sure Chris sees it, but he has to fake telling her how awesome she is; as do other people around her.

Hate to say it but the only time she looked kind of natural and like she was having fun was tickle porn. Some people just are typecast to a single role for life. Hers happens to be being tickled by people.

Aim high, Sandi. I hope the CIG intern taking notes here gets the joy of reporting this to you. Not because they have to, but because they want to, and they like you to know you're a terrible actress themselves but are too afraid to tell you straight up because you'd fire them like a vindictive bitch.

Hope I made your day, phantom intern! :hfive:

AutismVaccine
Feb 26, 2017


SPECIAL NEEDS
SQUAD

Awesome! posted:

geese are assholes and do not deserve to have friends

Absolutely this. Best day was when i finally killed and eat them. Terrible animals.

Blue On Blue
Nov 14, 2012

The Titanic posted:

The problem here is that even people who love Sandi with an almost creepy sense of white knightery also recognize her complete inadequacy as an actress.

I'm pretty sure the only person who doesn't recognize every piece of acting Sandi does is terrible is Sandi herself. I'm pretty sure Chris sees it, but he has to fake telling her how awesome she is; as do other people around her.

Hate to say it but the only time she looked kind of natural and like she was having fun was tickle porn. Some people just are typecast to a single role for life. Hers happens to be being tickled by people.

Aim high, Sandi. I hope the CIG intern taking notes here gets the joy of reporting this to you. Not because they have to, but because they want to, and they like you to know you're a terrible actress themselves but are too afraid to tell you straight up because you'd fire them like a vindictive bitch.

Hope I made your day, phantom intern! :hfive:

Normally one would just assume everyone is out to get her, because she's successful and such. Happens all the time.

In this case she simply can't see the bad acting for the trees (money is made out of trees.... well, used to be)

As far as I can tell the only reason she is successful (as in a phat bank account, nice cars, rental mcmansion etc) is thanks to the generosity of idiots.... so take that with a grain of salt

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_du6m66b258

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKJmh25I7Ns

Daztek fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Apr 28, 2018

The Titanic
Sep 15, 2016

Unsinkable

Blue On Blue posted:

Normally one would just assume everyone is out to get her, because she's successful and such. Happens all the time.

In this case she simply can't see the bad acting for the trees (money is made out of trees.... well, used to be)

As far as I can tell the only reason she is successful (as in a phat bank account, nice cars, rental mcmansion etc) is thanks to the generosity of idiots.... so take that with a grain of salt

Hopefully some court will finally call it unjust enrichment and be done with it all.

Though these days I could care less if the backers right now get their money back. They are aware of the stakes at this point. Hope they make a good decision.

Blue On Blue
Nov 14, 2012

The Titanic posted:

Hopefully some court will finally call it unjust enrichment and be done with it all.

Though these days I could care less if the backers right now get their money back. They are aware of the stakes at this point. Hope they make a good decision.

I hold out very little hope anyone involved will ever be held accountable. There are much larger and much more evil people out there fleecing idiots of their money daily, and they get away with it too.

As much as Chris might be a blithering idiot, the people he employs to keep the money train rolling are not

In the end even if the lawsuit succeeds, they will wash their hands of it, dump the entirety of the blame on people like Ben, Disco, random others, and walk away

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Sample_text posted:

Bit off topic, but let's take a moment to soak in the hilariousness of :
-Designing your ships with actual mechanical elevators in a universe where "gravlev technology" and "tractor beams" exist.
-Having elevators on ships that are expected to land on un-even surfaces
-Having to crobble together the necessary scripting to avoid them clipping through the floor (not implemented yet, here's how it will work ...)
- Having to figure out how will your mechanical elevator work if your space chariot is upside down.
-......and not just use some cheapo spotlight particle effect as your "grav shaft" , that can clip through the terrain, suck up players and ships, and do all sorts of weird "gravity-esque" things without looking odd.
....AAALLLLL so you can rip off that one scene in sci fi movies where the commandos descend nervously and slowly from the ship in complete darkenss on the "unknown world " with only their flashlights flicking around. You know, you've all seen that scene...

Everything Chris has ever done is to rip off "that one scene" from a film he saw once, except done very very badly and violently missing the point of the scene. That's why in Squadron 42 you descend the elevator into a sandworm and say "this is no cave" and then you fly out on a jetpack while using your mobiglass hud to target the rapist's crotch through his victim's skirt and shoot off his dick while turning to the camera and saying "stay out of trouble" then using telekinesis to pull a laser sword across the room in time to deflect the incoming laser bolt from an incoming reaper ship with skulls all over it right before you're beamed up at the last second and given a Vulcan salute by the ship's engineer who has a Hairy Roberts ready for you.

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



https://streamable.com/mv1lm

"Logged into the PTU and this is what greeted me"

Drunk Theory
Aug 20, 2016


Oven Wrangler

Daztek posted:

https://streamable.com/mv1lm

"Logged into the PTU and this is what greeted me"

Pipelines looking good.

Tokyo Sexwale
Jul 30, 2003

Scruffpuff posted:

Everything Chris has ever done is to rip off "that one scene" from a film he saw once, except done very very badly and violently missing the point of the scene. That's why in Squadron 42 you descend the elevator into a sandworm and say "this is no cave" and then you fly out on a jetpack while using your mobiglass hud to target the rapist's crotch through his victim's skirt and shoot off his dick while turning to the camera and saying "stay out of trouble" then using telekinesis to pull a laser sword across the room in time to deflect the incoming laser bolt from an incoming reaper ship with skulls all over it right before you're beamed up at the last second and given a Vulcan salute by the ship's engineer who has a Hairy Roberts ready for you.

I think what we're getting is going to be even worse than that magnificent trainwreck you've described.

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Nanako the Narc
Sep 6, 2011

Neltharak posted:



At this point it's unoriginal fiction

Maybe it's just me but this newsletter oozes 'zero effort'.

"Today we, uhh.... released an incremental patch and... I guess there's a convention? eh... gently caress it."

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