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Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Nerdrock posted:

Only the newbies. I do have a better parking spot though. And, I work all summer (no, teachers don't work on teacher things during the summer. If they do professional development, they get paid generously for it).

come on son they don't even get comped for supplying their classrooms

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Nerdrock
Jan 31, 2006

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

come on son they don't even get comped for supplying their classrooms

Our extremely poor district comps up to $200 a year for classroom supplies. Maybe it's $250, I forget. Our area for as poor as it is, is quite fortunate. Our administration, according to my boss, are wizards with making budgets work. My wife is a teacher here. Conversely, her good friend is a teacher about 2 hours north of us in a big city, and hasn't gotten a raise in 10 years. Even in the same state, education is varies tremendously in how stuff like that is handled.

We get grants out the rear end for technology in the classroom, but sadly never budgeted for additional staff to support all the technology. So our IT department is stretched very thin. STOP WITH ALL THE HARDWARE MONIES AND JUST BUY US JAMF GODDAMNIT.

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost

Nerdrock posted:

Our extremely poor district comps up to $200 a year for classroom supplies. Maybe it's $250, I forget. Our area for as poor as it is, is quite fortunate. Our administration, according to my boss, are wizards with making budgets work. My wife is a teacher here. Conversely, her good friend is a teacher about 2 hours north of us in a big city, and hasn't gotten a raise in 10 years. Even in the same state, education is varies tremendously in how stuff like that is handled.

We get grants out the rear end for technology in the classroom, but sadly never budgeted for additional staff to support all the technology. So our IT department is stretched very thin. STOP WITH ALL THE HARDWARE MONIES AND JUST BUY US JAMF GODDAMNIT.

If you haven't gotten a raise in 10 years, you've been given a 15% pay cut. Given the average inflation over the last 10 years of about 1.6%

Weedle
May 31, 2006




Methanar posted:

If you haven't gotten a raise in 10 years, you've been given a 15% pay cut. Given the average inflation over the last 10 years of about 1.6%

That’s teaching!

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


Not counting any chickens, but had a good call today on a potential lead. And they didn't balk at the number I gave them "to even consider changing". And it's also in my old stomping grounds (I'm gonna get so fat) which is half my current commute.

Weatherman
Jul 30, 2003

WARBLEKLONK

AlexDeGruven posted:

Not counting any chickens, but had a good call today on a potential lead. And they didn't balk at the number I gave them "to even consider changing". And it's also in my old stomping grounds (I'm gonna get so fat) which is half my current commute.

Good luck!

Also Alex I remember your "gangstas don't be giggling" avatar. How is your tiny gangsta these days?

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Second day in a row one of our program sites is giving a server error for us at the HD. I send out an email about it and get told I should be using the http instead of the https version of the website. Even though we were a. never told this and b. we have another program site which does the same thing for other states which does use https in the address.

Sysadmin response:

quote:

We should always place http, and if we need them to use https, then we can redirect http to https automatically without having to update links or shortcuts.

Well, ok! :downs:

PirateDentist
Mar 28, 2006

Sailing The Seven Seas Searching For Scurvy

Weedle posted:

Excerpt from my boss’ response to my question about assigning the Page Manager role to a particular user:


There are currently ten users who have been assigned the Page Manager role.

Gotta love rights creep! Everyone Needs Everything!

:goleft: Dept Manager: UserA needs to do Task to Widget!

:yarr: PirateCJ: Okay, if you approve it I can give that right. Only UserB and C has it.

:goleft: Everyone needs to have it for redundancy now!

:yarr: It gets used like once a month maybe, do we really need 20 people to have it?

:goleft: Yes, what if we have to do it suddenly!

~two months later, an audit~

:coal: <IT Boss> Why the gently caress do 22 people have this right? Remove them all except for UserB and UserC, all requests for this now have to go through SiteManager.

~Repeat about once a quarter for a different folder access, specific program rights, or user accounts.~

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box


Weatherman posted:

Good luck!

Also Alex I remember your "gangstas don't be giggling" avatar. How is your tiny gangsta these days?

Ha, wow. That was a long time ago. He turns 11 in a little more than a month and will probably be taller than the wife by the end of the year.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
So our VP of IT comes over and wants us to call at least 70+ users across multiple centers because there are 73 PCs pending Windows Updates. I check with my Sysadmin buddy and they already have a task set up to reboot their servers when they have updates at 2-5 AM, and it would be easy to modify that for the user PCs. I tried to argue this that there is a more efficient way to do this remotely, but no, we have to look "proactive" so (I infer) he can look good for upper management. So far, only one of us is even trying to do it and he may possibly be working from the wrong list in SCCM.

I already :yotj:, so I give no fucks and am not doing it.

suuma
Apr 2, 2009
It's not :yotj: but I got a raise "for my awesome work" :toot:

The Macaroni
Dec 20, 2002
...it does nothing.

suuma posted:

It's not :yotj: but I got a raise "for my awesome work" :toot:
Nice work!

lambeth posted:

I already :yotj:, so I give no fucks and am not doing it.
Nice non-work!

DelphiAegis
Jun 21, 2010

suuma posted:

It's not :yotj: but I got a raise "for my awesome work" :toot:

:hf: :toot: "here's a raise for awesome work" buddy

Myrridinos
Jan 7, 2010

lambeth posted:

So our VP of IT comes over and wants us to call at least 70+ users across multiple centers because there are 73 PCs pending Windows Updates. I check with my Sysadmin buddy and they already have a task set up to reboot their servers when they have updates at 2-5 AM, and it would be easy to modify that for the user PCs. I tried to argue this that there is a more efficient way to do this remotely, but no, we have to look "proactive" so (I infer) he can look good for upper management. So far, only one of us is even trying to do it and he may possibly be working from the wrong list in SCCM.

I already :yotj:, so I give no fucks and am not doing it.

A good patch management system is your friend.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

Myrridinos posted:

A good patch management system is your friend.

Yes, although I think ours is currently broken. Among other things, it keeps rolling out .net updates to PCs in a certain OU which was specifically set up not to receive .net updates. This is important because if .net gets updated above a certain version, then the main program the users use on these PCs doesn't work. I think they're disabling the patch management system or .net updates altogether while it gets fixed.

Myrridinos
Jan 7, 2010
Sounds like a lovely time.

tomapot
Apr 7, 2005
Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.
Oven Wrangler

Weatherman posted:

Has anyone here worked in Microsoft's premier support before?

We buy a block of hours each year for our SharePoint service, another team uses them for Exchange. Saved our rear end many a time.

a_pineapple
Dec 23, 2005


.

a_pineapple fucked around with this message at 11:59 on May 7, 2019

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

"Hi Everybody!"

vas0line posted:

PDFChat

Sales Guy: “I cannot add pages or make edits to this PDF because it is protected with a password. I need to make these changes in the next hour or I may lose a big sale. Can you help me remove the password?”
Me: “What is this document, and who created it?”
Sales Guy: “It is a client contract that was created by Legal.”
Me: *closes ticket as will not fix; keeps job, stays out of court.*

Maybe forward that one to the Legal department, see what they have to say on the matter. :suspense:

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost

vas0line posted:

PDFChat

Sales Guy: “I cannot add pages or make edits to this PDF because it is protected with a password. I need to make these changes in the next hour or I may lose a big sale. Can you help me remove the password?”
Me: “What is this document, and who created it?”
Sales Guy: “It is a client contract that was created by Legal.”
Me: *closes ticket as will not fix; keeps job, stays out of court.*

reply To
CC: legal
Salesdrone #23 is trying to modify legal documents and doesn't have the password. Please do the needful.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Maybe forward that one to the Legal department, see what they have to say on the matter. :suspense: I'm sure they have the password and would be more than happy to help him with his request.

:)

I'm helping!

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


https://twitter.com/dmofengineering/status/989889526582493184?s=19

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!
So a text came in from last job.

'Hey, hope the new job is going well. Could you call *new support person* and let them know how you fixed the windows 10 no USB devices working issue? Thanks"

You mean the issue that I thoroughly documented how to fix in an email thread, in my tickets about the issue and in the internal documentation? Sure I can call them. I'll make sure to send you the bill for my time.

mewse
May 2, 2006

blackswordca posted:

So a text came in from last job.

'Hey, hope the new job is going well. Could you call *new support person* and let them know how you fixed the windows 10 no USB devices working issue? Thanks"

You mean the issue that I thoroughly documented how to fix in an email thread, in my tickets about the issue and in the internal documentation? Sure I can call them. I'll make sure to send you the bill for my time.

"I am not going to call *new support person*. The solution was documented via email, in tickets, and the internal docs. Good luck and god bless"

ConfusedUs
Feb 24, 2004

Bees?
You want fucking bees?
Here you go!
ROLL INITIATIVE!!





blackswordca posted:

So a text came in from last job.

'Hey, hope the new job is going well. Could you call *new support person* and let them know how you fixed the windows 10 no USB devices working issue? Thanks"

You mean the issue that I thoroughly documented how to fix in an email thread, in my tickets about the issue and in the internal documentation? Sure I can call them. I'll make sure to send you the bill for my time.

"My hourly rate is $200, four-hour minimum. What's your fax number so I can send the contract?"

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

mewse posted:

"I am not going to call *new support person*. The solution was documented via email, in tickets, and the internal docs. Good luck and god bless"

Sickening
Jul 16, 2007

Black summer was the best summer.

blackswordca posted:

So a text came in from last job.

'Hey, hope the new job is going well. Could you call *new support person* and let them know how you fixed the windows 10 no USB devices working issue? Thanks"

You mean the issue that I thoroughly documented how to fix in an email thread, in my tickets about the issue and in the internal documentation? Sure I can call them. I'll make sure to send you the bill for my time.

Tell them to apple pay you a few hundred bucks and you will get right on it.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus



Hope this works...

code:
Wish
9 conjuration
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
Classes: Sorcerer, Wizard
Wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast. By simply speaking aloud, you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your desires.

The basic use of this spell is to duplicate any other spell of 8th level or lower. You don't need to meet any requirements in that spell, including costly components. 
The spell simply takes effect. Alternatively, you can create one of the following effects of your choice.

• You create one object of up to 25,000 gp in value that isn't a magic item. 
The object can be no more than 300 feet in any dimension, and it appears in an unoccupied space you can see on the ground.

• You allow up to twenty creatures that you can see to regain all hit points, and you end all effects on them described in the greater restoration spell.

• You grant up to ten creatures that you can see resistance to a damage type you choose.

• You grant up to ten creatures you can see immunity to a single spell or other magical effect for 8 hours. 
For instance, you could make yourself and all your companions immune to a lich's life drain attack.

• You undo a single recent event by forcing a reroll of any roll made within the last round (including your last turn). 
Reality reshapes itself to accommodate the new result. For example, a wish spell could undo an opponent's successful save, a foe's critical hit, or a friend's failed save. 
You can force the reroll to be made with advantage or disadvantage, and you can choose whether to use the reroll or the original roll.

You might be able to achieve something beyond the scope of the above examples. State your wish to the DM as precisely as possible. 
The DM has great latitude in ruling what occurs in such an instance, the greater the wish, the greater the likelihood that something goes wrong. 
This spell might simply fail, the effect you desire might only be partly achieved, or you might suffer some unforeseen consequence as a result of how you worded the wish. 
For example, wishing that a villain were dead might propel you forward in time to a period when that villain is no longer alive, effectively removing you from the game. 
Similarly, wishing for a legendary magic item or artifact might instantly transport you to the presence of the item's current owner.

The stress of casting this spell to produce any effect other than duplicating another spell weakens you. 
After enduring that stress, each time you cast a spell until you finish a long rest, you take 1d10 necrotic damage per level of that spell. 
This damage can't be reduced or prevented in any way. In addition, your Strength drops to 3, if it isn't 3 or lower already, for 2d4 days. 
For each of those days that you spend resting and doing nothing more than light activity, your remaining recovery time decreases by 2 days.
 Finally, there is a 33 percent chance that you are unable to cast wish ever again if you suffer this stress.

Zil fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Apr 30, 2018

Partycat
Oct 25, 2004

blackswordca posted:

So a text came in from last job.

'Hey, hope the new job is going well. Could you call *new support person* and let them know how you fixed the windows 10 no USB devices working issue? Thanks"

You mean the issue that I thoroughly documented how to fix in an email thread, in my tickets about the issue and in the internal documentation? Sure I can call them. I'll make sure to send you the bill for my time.

Just delete it and go on with your day having not had to deal with that

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

Partycat posted:

Just delete it and go on with your day having not had to deal with that

Alternatively: Sure can! For boat money.

Siochain
May 24, 2005

"can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."


ratbert90 posted:

Alternatively: Sure can! For boat money.

You spelled Yacht incorrectly.

Methylethylaldehyde
Oct 23, 2004

BAKA BAKA

"Gain one random item from the Customers we Apparently Still Support"

"Damnit! Not another Ring of Token Ethernet, why is this loot table full of so much useless crap?"

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Academic department that we don't support needs help repeatedly. We tell them that putting their computers on the university domain would be a lot more efficient and we could manage permissions per user.
They refuse to do that because they want everyone logging on using the same local user account and password, and admins log on with the local admin password, which you could guess within 3-5 tries since it's so close to the local user password. Their iMacs are running an end-of-lifed OS because they're afraid to change anything and cause problems with software.

Our sysadmin to our boss "I'm not supporting those computers until they pull their heads out of their asses. You can figure out the nice way to say that and no, I'm not wasting my time attending that meeting they invited me to."

Our boss considers that a perfectly acceptable thing to say to him and will play diplomat with the incompetent department.

pofcorn
May 30, 2011
Moved a SSD from a dead Lenovo laptop to a Dell, tried to boot it, failed with a bootdevice_not_found of some kind, booted in winpe and injected the storage drivers with dism.

Booted fine. Felt like a goddamn IT surgeon.

Ghostlight
Sep 25, 2009

maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me



Ticket Summary: David phone annoyingsnoise

Ticket Details: David is on a conference call and his phone keeps making a noise at regular internals please help. If you can fix offline now while he is on the call would be great.





:suicide:

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
"Phone working as intended, closing ticket".

Shugojin
Sep 6, 2007

THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...


"Told David to stop talking, problem seems to be resolved"

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


Presumably these are the "hey, you're on mute" beeps

Partycat
Oct 25, 2004

Or someone is calling him and the phone is letting him know there are calls waiting.

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my cat is norris
Mar 11, 2010

#onecallcat

Ghostlight posted:

Ticket Details: David is on a conference call and his phone keeps making a noise at regular internals please help. If you can fix offline now while he is on the call would be great.

Man, I just had to troubleshoot something related to this. The Polycom Trio 8800 consoles we use in our conference rooms have been ANNOYINGLY OBNOXIOUSLY BEEPY ever since a firmware update pushed them past version 5.5.2. This release introduced a hot new feature called "alert tone on mute status" that was also somehow alert toning every other goddamn action people would take. Share their screen on Skype? Beepbeep! Mute themselves? Beepbeep! Join the call? Beepbeep! Leave the call? Beepbeep! Request control of a presentation? Beepbeep!

Now, I personally had trouble replicating this issue, because in all my solo testing I never once turned on my webcam.

Start sharing your webcam over Skype? BRACE FOR BEEPS. No webcam? No obnoxious over-beeping. I called their support line. They had no idea what the gently caress I was talking about...and yet, firmware version 5.5.4 fixes this issue. Good job, Polycom.

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