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GonSmithe
Apr 25, 2010

Perhaps it's in the nature of television. Just waves in space.
Welcome to the Star Wars Spoiler thread. This thread is for open spoiler discussion of the two hundred Star Wars movies that will be released in the next month. If you're looking to talk about already released movies, please check out the non-spoiler thread.



Upcoming Star Wars movies
Untitled Anthology film (possibly Boba Fett origin story) - ???
Star Wars Episode IX - December 20, 2019
Rian Johnson's Untitled Star Wars trilogy - ???
David Benioff and D.B. Weiss' Untitled Star Wars trilogy - ???



Old thread

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Barudak
May 7, 2007

Im excited to announce my partnership to produce a new trilogy focusing solely around Jedi Farming enclaves during the 660s Republic Era.

But seriously give me that obiwan film, Disney. Dont just tease me.

Ingmar terdman
Jul 24, 2006

The obi movie should just be a remake of Secret Honor in his sand hut

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Obiwan movie should be a remake of Driver

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



Barudak posted:

Obiwan movie should be a remake of Driver

It should be The Italian Job in Space.

George H.W. Cunt
Oct 6, 2010





Anything from the premiere last night

Professor Beetus
Apr 12, 2007

They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus
So I guess we can just assume that anyone who's not a character in one of the OT movies is going to die, right? I mean, it's not like the Star Wars Galaxy is big enough for people just to go their own way and never be seen again.

Food Boner
Jul 2, 2005
obi wan should be like that robert redford movie where hes on a boat and dies at the end



except space or something I dunno

Samuel Clemens
Oct 4, 2013

I think we should call the Avengers.

I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars.

Kart Barfunkel
Nov 10, 2009


Spoiler: these new movies aren’t very good.

E: obi wan movie should be lone wolf and cub and I won’t hear otherwise.

Kart Barfunkel fucked around with this message at 17:10 on May 11, 2018

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Food Boner posted:

obi wan should be like that robert redford movie where hes on a boat and dies at the end



except space or something I dunno

Not the same robert redford movie with a symbolic boat where he dies at the end but Id watch a Great Jedisby film.

Food Boner
Jul 2, 2005
the real twist will be when obi wan dies in the anthology movie and he's a force ghost the entirety of anh

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
my favorite star war is all star wars

except the prequels, those suck

MelancholyMark
May 5, 2009

George H.W. oval office posted:

Anything from the premiere last night

I saw some stuff that said Maul is actually alive and is the bad guy pulling the strings behind everything.

Edit: Here’s the voice of Maul nonchalantly asking why Park is at the Solo premiere
https://twitter.com/serafinowicz/status/994822880650321920?s=21

MelancholyMark fucked around with this message at 18:41 on May 11, 2018

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

George H.W. oval office posted:

Anything from the premiere last night

General consensus from the Twitter brigade that usually loses their poo poo with hype over having seen a movie before you and says a movie is totally awesome and will change everything, is that the movie is really fun...after the first third is done, which is slow and boring. There have been a few mild reactions. All in all, a more tepid reaction from that group than usual, but nothing to be too concerned about yet.

Everyone agrees Lando and his droid partner are the best part of the movie, which is no surprise.

wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Q2zKuhtTQ

This guy gives a complete synopsis of Solo.

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

nurabsal posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Q2zKuhtTQ

This guy gives a complete synopsis of Solo.

Only a few minutes in, but this guy is an idiot.

edit: Oh forget it, knowing spoilers isn't worth listening to this guy.

Oh my god, before I quit listening, I got to how Solo got his name? Are you loving kidding me?

thrawn527 fucked around with this message at 18:51 on May 11, 2018

wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.

thrawn527 posted:

Only a few minutes in, but this guy is an idiot.

edit: Oh forget it, knowing spoilers isn't worth listening to this guy.

Oh my god, before I quit listening, I got to how Solo got his name? Are you loving kidding me?

lol..you didn't get to the best part. Droid Rebellion! (even though droids are obviously not AI in star wars and meant to be treated like cattle)

Beef Hardcheese
Jan 21, 2003

HOW ABOUT I LASH YOUR SHIT


so you gonna spill or what

is it because he only works alone :clint:

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Beef Hardcheese posted:

so you gonna spill or what

is it because he only works alone :clint:

Basically. He's running from Imperials. The only way out is to head into an Imperial Recruitment Center, so he figures he'll sign up to get away. Recruiter asks him what his name is. He says just "Han". Imperial guy says something like, "What is your last name? Who are you with?" Han says something like (sorry, this guy sucks at describing things) "I'm alone." So his name is put in as "Han Solo".

thrawn527 fucked around with this message at 19:02 on May 11, 2018

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!

nurabsal posted:

lol..you didn't get to the best part. Droid Rebellion! (even though droids are obviously not AI in star wars and meant to be treated like cattle)

Wow, we got to it on page one!

wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.

Zoran posted:

Wow, we got to it on page one!

The John C. Calhoun of Droid Rights over here.

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Okay, I kept listening after all, and everyone who said this movie would be a check list of references was right. This whole movie is made to make people point at the screen and go, "Oh! I know that!"

wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.

thrawn527 posted:

Okay, I kept listening after all, and everyone who said this movie would be a check list of references was right. This whole movie is made to make people point at the screen and go, "Oh! I know that!"

Let's not bury the lede here, loving Darth Maul is the evil handler behind it all!

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

nurabsal posted:

Let's not bury the lede here, loving Darth Maul is the evil handler behind it all!

What the gently caress. You weren't lying. What the actual gently caress.

How does that...when...what?

thrawn527 fucked around with this message at 19:22 on May 11, 2018

Vinylshadow
Mar 20, 2017

Wasn't expecting the musical number in Solo, but it's a Disney movie, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised

Enfys Nest has a gorgeous singing voice

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Illegal Hen
Solo sounds like a godawful mess and that kinda owns

Professor Beetus
Apr 12, 2007

They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus

nurabsal posted:

Let's not bury the lede here, loving Darth Maul is the evil handler behind it all!

Holy poo poo. I too assumed this was a piss take. Is that enough to make the movie worth watching?

wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.

DrNutt posted:

Holy poo poo. I too assumed this was a piss take. Is that enough to make the movie worth watching?

It's gotta be an MCU style lead in to the Obi-Wan movie, right? Probably a very short reveal.

MelancholyMark
May 5, 2009

DrNutt posted:

Holy poo poo. I too assumed this was a piss take. Is that enough to make the movie worth watching?

I wasn't loving with anyone :smith:

wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.
If this lovely movie means I get my 3:10 to Yuma starring Obi Wan, Darth Maul, and Boba Fett it was all worth it.

Ingmar terdman
Jul 24, 2006

thrawn527 posted:

Basically. He's running from Imperials. The only way out is to head into an Imperial Recruitment Center, so he figures he'll sign up to get away. Recruiter asks him what his name is. He says just "Han". Imperial guy says something like, "What is your last name? Who are you with?" Han says something like (sorry, this guy sucks at describing things) "I'm alone." So his name is put in as "Han Solo".

Haha if this is true that means that decades later, the leader of the quasi-continuation of the Empire is named after a clerical error

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



You cannot be loving serious about this Darth Maul poo poo and "Solo" not being his name. Good god Thursday is going to be fun.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!
Oh, Han's mentor figure tells him to shoot first. That’s bingo!

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

I'm not 100% sure how the timeline works yet, but this movie may break jivjov's heart. I get that Maul was brought back in Clone Wars, and was kicking around after Episode III, but Obi-Wan kills him on Tatooine, while Luke is still a little kid (hard to say how old, but the far away shot sure seemed to imply he was a little kid). And if this movie has Han at almost ANH age...it would appear to imply they're ignoring Maul being killed by then.

Again, not totally sure where this movie lines up, but jivjov finding out that the movies do, in fact, reign supreme over everything else and will contradict other lesser things when they want to may just kill him.

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

My guiding Moonlight...



thrawn527 posted:

I'm not 100% sure how the timeline works yet, but this movie may break jivjov's heart.

Good.

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Zoran posted:

Oh, Han's mentor figure tells him to shoot first. That’s bingo!

Technically he was about to tell him a lesson, and then Han shoots him (first). According to the video, he never says the words, "Shoot first". Don't know how the ruling on that would go, but yeah, I'd say it counts.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!
Luke is ~16 when Obi-Wan kills Maul, I think. The latter seasons of Rebels are like three years before ANH.

e: Ezra is either exactly the same age as Luke and Leia or a bare few days or weeks older, depending how much time passes in the final act of ROTS.

e2: lol he kills Maul

Zoran fucked around with this message at 19:52 on May 11, 2018

thrawn527
Mar 27, 2004

Thrawn/Pellaeon
Studying the art of terrorists
To keep you safe

Zoran posted:

Luke is ~16 when Obi-Wan kills Han Maul, I think. The latter seasons of Rebels are like three years before ANH.

Oh, then that would still work out fine, I guess. Never mind.

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wetdela
Oct 13, 2012

I CAME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS OF SILENCE SO I COULD AGGRO POST IN THE UKRAINE-RUSSIA THREAD.
This is going to make like $100-$150 mil opening weekend and quickly fall off the cliff.

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