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Dreylad posted:you can't perch on that you idiot The image proves otherwise.
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Mar 18, 2018 02:46
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:e ^^    Dreylad posted:you can't perch on that you idiot Photographic evidence proves otherwise. I love the look of "huh. I'm up here now.  "
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Mar 18, 2018 02:47
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Who stole the peanut butter bread off the counter? It was you, Barley! Don’t pretend you are still hungry. (I set up the same scenario and hid around the corner to catch the culprit. The glutton didn’t even check!) Here he is being good (at digging). 
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Mar 20, 2018 01:17
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Hank, you're an indoor cat. I don't know how, but your rear end is full of worms and you're going to have a rough week shooting them out your butt. Did you eat a mouse or a bug or something you crusty-assed wretch?
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Mar 20, 2018 17:17
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:Hank, you're an indoor cat. I don't know how, but your rear end is full of worms and you're going to have a rough week shooting them out your butt. Did you eat a mouse or a bug or something you crusty-assed wretch? Is Hank in your avatar?
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Mar 20, 2018 19:04
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No, this is hank and my fat gut. https://imgur.com/gallery/uvTdD
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Mar 20, 2018 23:12
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you did this to yourself
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Mar 21, 2018 12:15
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How?!
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Mar 21, 2018 13:26
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StrixNebulosa posted:How?! I can explain in one word: cats.
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Mar 21, 2018 13:58
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On that note: Porthos, you know we don't want you jumping up onto the top of the entertainment center. The glue trap up there was for catching roaches, not cat tails. I did appreciate your trust in immediately running over to me when your flailing failed to free yourself, and you were very well behaved when I had to snip your tail fur to get the drat thing off. No clawing, no biting, and perfectly understandable that you were bitching up a storm the whole time. Your tail fluff is now incredibly uneven, and you have no one but yourself to blame.
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Mar 21, 2018 14:07
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Cats.
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Mar 21, 2018 14:14
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StrixNebulosa posted:How?! Cats, plus she's particularly slinky I think she's actually the liquid form of cat.
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Mar 21, 2018 17:59
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Dreylad posted:Cats, plus she's particularly slinky I think she's actually the liquid form of cat. So, a cat.
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Mar 24, 2018 22:19
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 Dear Tuna (the orange one, Oscar is my sister's cat, who happened to be visiting), You like to destroy paper products. I get it, aim sure it's a lot of fun. I can handle that. The toilet paper goes on backwards so you don't unspool it all, and the paper towels go back in the drawer the instant I have grabbed the ones I need. Fine. What I find more difficult to comprehend is your newfound love of biting and shredding the tp, but only when I'm using the bathroom. Why? Is it just that you jump onto the toilet's tank (where I cannot reach) because you want my attention, and then your prey is right there? Is it you telling me to go faster? I just want to know *why*.
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Apr 3, 2018 21:06
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Because cat.
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Apr 3, 2018 21:13
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Bandit- I'm not longer surprised that someone dumped you in my yard and drove away. Every day I come home and it looks like I've been robbed. I don't know how you are still alive. 5 butane lighters eaten at one sitting. My box of Valentine's chocolates. Two pairs of reading glasses. All gone.
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Apr 13, 2018 17:45
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Dear Apollo STOP EATING DEER TURDS THEY ARE NOT DOG TREATS I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM IN THE FIELD BUT FOR gently caress'S SAKE DON'T EAT THEM YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THEM
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Apr 13, 2018 22:01
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Juvenile chicken named Henrietta, who is probably a rooster. I built you and your definitely lady friend a somewhat decent coop. You are supposed to sleep there at night. You are NOT supposed to sleep on my front steps, right below the door, making GBS threads everywhere. Coming home each night, scooping you up and carrying you to your coop like some sort of chicken chauffeur is not what i signed up for. I signed up for free eggs, and you've likely already defaulted on this agreement before even reaching egg laying age. Also, roosters are literally illegal in my neighbourhood, so the first day you crow its gonna be winner winner chicken dinner. I hand raised you, so you're going to be the tastiest thing i ever loved. You motherfucker.
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Apr 14, 2018 05:31
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meriruka posted:Bandit-
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Apr 15, 2018 22:06
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 this is a picture of my hamster, his favorite food is seed
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Apr 19, 2018 06:06
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what an rear end in a top hat
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Apr 19, 2018 07:12
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APOLLO I gave you a lovely long walk around the back field, the house, the yard, the north field, we played fetch with sticks until you actually stopped playing with them, we froliced in the front yard - WHY DID YOU GO POO A MINUTE AFTER WE GOT BACK INSIDE WHY WHY WHY WHY YOU HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN MONTHS YOU HAVE NO REASON TO DO THIS YOU - 
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Apr 19, 2018 22:11
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:Hank, you're an indoor cat. I don't know how, but your rear end is full of worms and you're going to have a rough week shooting them out your butt. Did you eat a mouse or a bug or something you crusty-assed wretch? Is my Hank moonlighting as your Hank? Dude's bed looked like a sesame seed bun  
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Apr 23, 2018 21:15
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Okay sure Bucky, it isn't like I wanted to cuddle with my wife while she played New Vegas. < > Please continue to take up 88% of the couch.
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Apr 25, 2018 08:39
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Addendum: THIS IS EVEN WORSE YOU JACKASS.
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Apr 25, 2018 08:45
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That's when you just roll em off the couch.
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Apr 25, 2018 12:22
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Milo, I know it hurts when a bird bites you, I understand why you scream... STOP loving BITING YOURSELF STUPID!!! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE DOING IT!! Seriously, stop being an idiot all the time. I'm not stealing your water dish, I do this every day and it always comes back full of clean water, get used to it please. And just generally shut the gently caress up all the time unless you want to say words or do something interesting. Liberty, Stop asking to step up and biting me. Stop being cute when company is over to lure them into your beak. I hate having to seem like an rear end in a top hat that won't let people near you when you are so friendly just because I know it's a lie. Stop coming over to me just to poo poo on me and go back home. And lastly, You don't run poo poo here, I do, so stop trying to assert dominance over me. To both of you, I put food into your bowls every time I cook, stop bugging me for my plate when you have the same loving thing you greedy little fucks. If you two can just take these things and roll with them we will be fine, otherwise I'm gonna start rubbing BBQ sauce on you and you're gonna get a timeout in the oven.
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May 1, 2018 18:22
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Dilb posted:Sounds like normal turtle behaviour to me? That is one bad-rear end little escape artist.
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May 2, 2018 03:20
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I don’t know which one of you guys did it. But your poo was outside the litter box. I assume it was one of two things: it got stuck in your butt cause of grooming so it fell out later, or it flew out while you were digging relentlessly. Regardless; I walk over to the bathroom and there’s this SMELLY SMASHED BY CAT PAWS piece of poo poo on my floor. They walked on it. Why. I smelled it and was there to clean it up within minutes of it having happened (smell of cat poo is sooooo bad) Why. Do you hate me? Are you a cat that does cat things for cat reasons? You guys. I love you but you are cats.
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May 14, 2018 03:34
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Pequod, plastic is not a tasty snack. Stop trying to eat every plastic bag that comes into the apartment. Also, while I am mildly impressed that you figured out how to open the cabinet that I (now previously) kept the plastic bags in, I'm just happy that the husband caught you in the act instead of one of us coming home to your dumb rear end having choked on a bag. (Please stop trying to kill yourself  )Jerk in question: 
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May 20, 2018 20:01
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I just wanted to poop in peace, I shut the bathroom door and the dog immediately started screaming and barking like I'd not fed her in a year and taken away her favourite toys. FFS dog.
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May 21, 2018 07:48
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Chef Bourgeoisie posted:Pequod, plastic is not a tasty snack. Your jerk's face is very pretty 
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May 21, 2018 19:15
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YeahTubaMike posted:Your jerk's face is very pretty Thank you! I think so too 
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May 21, 2018 20:03
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Woke up to this in our kitchen. Is this a threat? Stay off the counter you buttholes.  Bonus gif of Trudy being a poo poo and scaring everyone else in the house as they walked by 
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May 21, 2018 21:31
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Munchkin, I know I'm too obsessed with tacky leopard print, that doesn't mean you have to gently caress up the sheets every day.
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May 22, 2018 19:18
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Stop getting on top of the cabinets! You get up there and get stuck and then I have to get you down or you freak out and gently caress up the trim.
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May 22, 2018 21:30
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Yeah, not going to happencode:
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May 23, 2018 04:17
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Apollo! My beautiful moron! If you're wriggling around in the grass and your collar pops off, you DO NOT immediately dash across the road to sniff in the neighbor's flower bed I know you don't come when called and basically have to be on a leash permanently if you're outside but DO NOT DO THESE THINGS The good news is that the flowers were so distracting I could come up and grab your ankle and get you back into the collar/leash and carry you home before you escaped again. Like. Pal. I love my dog and I know to check the collar tightness over time now and I am Just  / 
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May 24, 2018 17:56
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Dreylad posted:you can't perch on that you idiot I got my head stuck in the bannister when I was 4. Your cat is better at bannister.
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May 26, 2018 05:54
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StrixNebulosa posted:Apollo! My beautiful moron! If you're wriggling around in the grass and your collar pops off, you DO NOT immediately dash across the road to sniff in the neighbor's flower bed The shelter I volunteer at does regular microchip clinics. Your dog seems perfect for this. The first thing the animal control will do is scan behind the dog's shoulders for a chip if it's ever caught without a collar (also do cats). We do these for $20 and there is likely something similar in your area. Goes thru petlink.net and let's you easily update your information whenever you need. It's also painless to the animal.
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May 26, 2018 06:42
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