101 Ways to Say NO to Sex

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > 101 Ways to Say NO to Sex

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Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

client posted:

incredibly powerful especially if you use this voice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL6YARuMRwk

lol

# ? May 16, 2018 06:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 06:54

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

i rather play DOTA

# ? May 16, 2018 06:12

remigious: May 13, 2009; Destruction comes inevitably; Hell Gem

It�s raid night.

# ? May 16, 2018 06:23

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

I have smelly penis

# ? May 16, 2018 06:27

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

"Have you read my posting history?!"

# ? May 16, 2018 06:31

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

remigious posted:

It’s raid night.

# ? May 16, 2018 06:37

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

#71: I quit last week.

drat, you quit sex last week? I was SO close!

# ? May 16, 2018 06:46

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

#73 I have to go to the bathroom

It's cool bb we can have sex in the bathroom

# ? May 16, 2018 06:48

1st_Panzer_Div.: May 11, 2005; Grimey Drawer

#115 Jesus isn't with us
#117 I left my dick in my other pant

Edit: One from the f'd up church I fled from that was brought up in church by the pastor as a pathetic excuse his wife needed to get over "I just gave birth and it's really sore still"

1st_Panzer_Div. fucked around with this message at 06:53 on May 16, 2018

# ? May 16, 2018 06:50

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

#118: You can't tell me what to do. You're not my real dad.

# ? May 16, 2018 06:53

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

31 and 32 are some rough poo poo taken together.

# ? May 16, 2018 06:53

1st_Panzer_Div.: May 11, 2005; Grimey Drawer

#119 I only have sex with my real dad

# ? May 16, 2018 06:54

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

#85, 27, 70, 42.

Alternatively, wait until he pulls his dick out, then use #42.

I feel like I'm ordering from a Chinese menu.

Applewhite posted:

I have smelly penis

#16

#120: I know this is just the first date, but I really feel a connection with you.

Bored fucked around with this message at 07:02 on May 16, 2018

# ? May 16, 2018 06:56

my kinda ape: Sep 15, 2008; Everything's gonna be A-OK; Oven Wrangler

Yes....psych!

# ? May 16, 2018 07:01

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

#121: "only if you say hi to my cat. Here, let me call him. I got one of those pet selfie cameras you put on a treat dispenser....Mr Wiiiiggles...sometimes it takes a little while for him to show up..."

# ? May 16, 2018 07:08

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

With all these diseases that you obviously have? No thanks buster.

# ? May 16, 2018 07:34

Soul Reaver: Mar 8, 2009; in retrospect the old redtext was a little over the top, I think I was in a bad mood that day. it appears you've learned your lesson about slagging our gods and masters at beamdog but I'm still going to leave this av up because i think its funny

god bless

That's not how you use that pamphlet.

If someone has propositioned you for sex that you don't want to have, just take a deep breath, pull out that pamphlet, and start rattling the reasons off one after another, only pausing when you need to take another breath.

That's how you say no to sex.

# ? May 16, 2018 07:41

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

Former DILF posted:

#102 I like anime

#103 I literally am anime.

# ? May 16, 2018 10:25

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

#28 is generally what my partners learn after sex (it's not worth it)

# ? May 16, 2018 10:36

Risky: May 18, 2003

#124 These Warhammer figures aren't gonna paint themselves.

# ? May 16, 2018 10:38

Sekenr: Dec 12, 2013

Let's break up until you can wait ?? :psyduck:

# ? May 16, 2018 10:42

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Im gay.

# ? May 16, 2018 10:44

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

1: nein
2: nyet
3: bu
4...

# ? May 16, 2018 10:46

Risky: May 18, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s01MH6P-ezs

This seems appropriate for this thread

# ? May 16, 2018 10:47

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

#80 is true. I've had sex and I don't have a career.

# ? May 16, 2018 10:50

Swedish Butt-Whistle: Feb 12, 2004; Mentally Trill

Never hear any goons saying 43, I dont like kids

# ? May 16, 2018 10:55

discarded box: Oct 15, 2008

thank god for this list. i was running out of ways to tell all the ladies no

some of these have troubling subtext

discarded box fucked around with this message at 11:15 on May 16, 2018

# ? May 16, 2018 11:12

Alucard: Mar 11, 2002; Pillbug

#125 - Sorry, but I'm already full of cum.

# ? May 16, 2018 11:15

discarded box: Oct 15, 2008

i just love you too dang much to have sex, sorry

# ? May 16, 2018 11:21

Suspect A: Jan 1, 2015; Nap Ghost

#-1 My penis has negative length so it would be physically impossible to have sex.

# ? May 16, 2018 11:25

Kia Soul Enthusias: May 9, 2004; zoom-zoom; Toilet Rascal

1) no
2) no
3) no
4) no
5) no
6) no
7) no
8) no
9) no
10) no
11) no
12) no
13) no
14) no
15) no
16) no
17) no
18) no
19) no
20) no
21) no
22) no
23) no
24) no
25) no
26) no
27) no
28) no
29) no
30) no
31) no
32) no
33) no
34) no
35) no
36) no
37) no
38) no
39) no
40) no
41) no
42) no
43) no
44) no
45) no
46) no
47) no
48) no
49) no
50) no
51) no
52) no
53) no
54) no
55) no
56) no
57) no
58) no
59) no
60) no
61) no
62) no
63) no
64) no
65) no
66) no
67) no
68) no
69) no
70) no
71) no
72) no
73) no
74) no
75) no
76) no
77) no
78) no
79) no
80) no
81) no
82) no
83) no
84) no
85) no
86) no
87) no
88) no
89) no
90) no
91) no
92) no
93) no
94) no
95) no
96) no
97) no
98) no
99) no
100) no
101) no

# ? May 16, 2018 11:25

Suspect A: Jan 1, 2015; Nap Ghost

#67: no way fag

# ? May 16, 2018 11:27

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Nooner posted:

coach says he wont have any fornicators on his team, cant have them shefolk stealing our masculine essence if we wanna make state

loooool

# ? May 16, 2018 11:27

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

imagine being a grown adult human being and denying yourself sex like some cloistered rear end in a top hat lmao.

# ? May 16, 2018 11:27

discarded box: Oct 15, 2008

Suspect A posted:

#67: no way f**

whoa man we dont use that word anymore

# ? May 16, 2018 11:28

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

im gay

# ? May 16, 2018 11:44

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

#102 I can't have sex unless you're a 4000 year old vampire with cat ears also you don't have a penis

# ? May 16, 2018 12:29

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

Personally I like a good ol' #16 "I'M SCARED" yelled awkwardly at the top of my lungs whenever anyone gets within the no no zone of less than a foot away from me

# ? May 16, 2018 13:46

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

Just tell her you're gay, Ray

# ? May 16, 2018 13:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 06:54

Dr. Gojo Shioji: Apr 22, 2004

Swedish Butt-Whistle posted:

Never hear any goons saying 43, I dont like kids

Not aatrek, anyway.

# ? May 16, 2018 14:07

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > 101 Ways to Say NO to Sex

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