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 your life consists of honking, consuming what would later be recognized as extremely cheap gasoline, picking up kids after soccer practice and waiting patiently in the garage while they watch nickelodeon and possibly contemplating how the law of entropy guarantees that you will be relegated to the junkyard before too long, and that people will ponder your strangely designed physique 25 years later on something called "the internet" add more details about your sordid forgotten life as this minivan below
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May 16, 2018 16:11
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 01:00 |
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Obese people are sleeping in me on a pile of McDonald's bags in a Walmart parking lot.
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May 16, 2018 16:13
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The owner's kid just fingerbanged his girlfriend in my abdomen and got her blood on my cloth seats 
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May 16, 2018 16:15
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McDonald's french fries dropped behind the seats are still edible.
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May 16, 2018 16:18
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Someone please kill me. I smell so much like fart that this is hardly a life as it is.
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May 16, 2018 16:22
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I drove a green 1993 mercury villager in high school and I will not let anyone besmirch it’s good name.
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May 16, 2018 16:23
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you celebrate your 15th birthday in 2008 by playing host to a massively obese couple from minnesota who argue vehemently with each other about whose fault it was that both of them got laid off. neither of them seem to realize that citigroup was largely to blame for the 2007 mortgage crisis. you try to persuade them about this fact by bleeping at them in morse code with the "keys in ignition" chime, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. within 18 months both of them are addicted to meth and you're living in a parking lot near a lake in wisconsin. but the LORD has plans for you
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May 16, 2018 16:25
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Vroom Vroom
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May 16, 2018 16:28
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Zoom zoom
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May 16, 2018 16:30
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beep beep imma plymouth
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May 16, 2018 16:31
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in the heady days of early 2009, only days after your meth-addicted parents/owners both kick the bucket on your resplendent cloth velour upholstery, you are suddenly visited by an angel of THE LORD, named BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA. with a whirling flourish of his magic Democratic-Party-endorsed wand, he places a glittering silvery placard on the lower left quadrant of your windshield, reading CASH FOR CLUNKERS. whatever will happen next?
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May 16, 2018 16:32
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back in 2005 to early 2006 i was given to ricky for his freshman year at SUNY plattsburgh i reeked of cheap canadian weed. it ruled. ricky flunked out
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May 16, 2018 16:32
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My younger cousin, a 1999 Dodge Caravan, has chronic irritable transmission syndrome. He spends so much time in the shop and it's really hurting his family's finances.
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May 16, 2018 16:34
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Literally A Person posted:Someone please kill me. I smell so much like fart that this is hardly a life as it is. contemplatively, you huff the ghosts of your previous owners' collective farts, and wonder in a very existential way about what fate has in store
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May 16, 2018 16:34
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Hey, I’m a 1993 Plymouth minivan! Get out of my way, I’m driving here!
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May 16, 2018 16:40
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Please Let Your Mechanic Out From Under The(my) Hood
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May 16, 2018 16:41
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Fuggetabout it!
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May 16, 2018 16:42
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I'm a blue 1993 plymouth sundance. mouth dance
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May 16, 2018 16:50
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3 1/2 tiddies have been awkwardly felt up in me
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May 16, 2018 16:53
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...your consciousness fades after you see the CASH FOR CLUNKERS placard being placed on your windshield. the bulbs in your headlights they fade fade to darkness. DARK-NESS. suddenly... ...suddenly it's 2015 and some stupid oval office on youtube is making a video about you. it's your moment to shine! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1S-tEfFrsc due to an optical illusion it looks like you're blue instead of green but that's much like that blue dress or the laurel or yanni thing you're alive again! or are you!?!?!?!!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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May 16, 2018 17:08
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Anyone got a rubber? Think I'm about to blow a gasket 
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May 16, 2018 17:08
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May 16, 2018 18:07
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it's a beautiful fall day in 1997. a small chill of winter lingers in the air as a school bell rings, and a myriad of youth spills excitedly out of the building. the creepy man with the poor comb-over and thick-rimmed tan glasses parks you across the street and a little ways down, raises a pair of binoculars, and grabs a box of tissues. this ritual has become routine for the both of you
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May 16, 2018 22:38
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imma 94 dodge shadow 
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May 16, 2018 22:53
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thread hits way too close to home
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May 16, 2018 22:54
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*headgaskets blow for the 9th time*
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May 16, 2018 22:55
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SciFiDownBeat posted:it's a beautiful fall day in 1997. a small chill of winter lingers in the air as a school bell rings, and a myriad of youth spills excitedly out of the building. the creepy man with the poor comb-over and thick-rimmed tan glasses parks you across the street and a little ways down, raises a pair of binoculars, and grabs a box of tissues. this ritual has become routine for the both of you Mnoba posted:thread hits way too close to home 
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May 16, 2018 22:56
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I was actually one of the last fun Chrysler products before the Diamond Star Motors venture ended. I also came with a turbocharged engine option, as well as a MANUAL option. I am very green.
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May 16, 2018 22:59
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my drivers keep smoking meth while in operation do you knoe any life hacks to blow out my light relay to attract those sexy new dodge chargers to pull my lil rear end over
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May 16, 2018 22:59
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Swedish Butt-Whistle posted:those sexy new dodge chargers  impound me in the rear end, daddy
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May 16, 2018 23:02
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*sees a Previa* daaaaamn, girl!
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May 16, 2018 23:10
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i hold the record for the world's slowest drive-by shooting
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May 16, 2018 23:12
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thinkin bout puttin this bad rear end piece of tech in my chest
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May 16, 2018 23:22
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Help, there's several teens smoking weed in me and the other is the oldest one who only has these friends because he has a van and can buy cigarettes
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May 17, 2018 00:43
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aaaaand 100k miles oh gently caress my transmission
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May 17, 2018 00:46
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Nooner posted:beep beep imma plymouth Tiberius Thyben posted:Hey, I’m a 1993 Plymouth minivan! Get out of my way, I’m driving here! *is a green 1993 plymouth inhabited by the spirit of Neukoln13* everyone say it with me: BROOKLYN!!
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May 17, 2018 14:19
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Once upon a time my owners had fallen in love, but now I'm only falling apart. Nothing the mechanic can do, my title says I'm naught but a part.
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May 17, 2018 14:26
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A proud vehicle
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May 17, 2018 14:33
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feel like i been runnin on fumes lately
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May 17, 2018 14:36
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 01:00 |
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Have yall seen that crimson toyota sienna on the north side of town... thick as gently caress
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May 17, 2018 14:41
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