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Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007

LobsterMobster posted:

ufc is maybe palelei vs krylov?

i really like this non-ufc fight:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjDnxKRtb0s

There's a lot going on in that fight to laugh at.

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

...and the pitch! posted:

There's a lot going on in that fight to laugh at.

Watching it live, on a random Friday morning was wild as hell.

MysteryNad
Dec 5, 2003

Here in my guard
I feel safest of all
I can lock up my guard
It's the only way to fight
In guard

Snowman_McK posted:

What's the funniest UFC/MMA fight?

slipNslideFC was pretty good

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

MysteryNad posted:

slipNslideFC was pretty good



lol

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
its an outdoor event and it started raining or something ? since the referee looks like captain ahab

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

I.N.R.I posted:

its an outdoor event and it started raining or something ? since the referee looks like captain ahab

It's a particularly infamous King of the Cage event called Wet 'n Wild, and yeah, it was held outdoors and it started raining basically immediately so everyone was slipping and losing their balance the whole goddamn time

Shungo Oyama, Ricco Rodriguez, Guy Mezger, Joe Hurley, Yves Edwards and Dean Lister were all still on that card, because MMA has never been a real sport

edit: actually those are clearly two different events, so they must have thought it was such a great idea they did it twice, jesus

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
I like that the real thing was more ridiculous than the version of it in that Kevin James movie.

Untrustable
Mar 17, 2009





MysteryNad posted:

slipNslideFC was pretty good



My brother was in prison for 9 years and told me he would microwave baby oil and put it on the floor of his cell except for the place he was standing. He'd then call out someone in the common area and when they came running in they'd slip and slide and he, standing in the only dry spot, would just pummel them while they tried to gain traction. That's the best base for MMA.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Untrustable posted:

My brother was in prison for 9 years and told me he would microwave baby oil and put it on the floor of his cell except for the place he was standing. He'd then call out someone in the common area and when they came running in they'd slip and slide and he, standing in the only dry spot, would just pummel them while they tried to gain traction. That's the best base for MMA.

drat lol

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010

Untrustable posted:

My brother was in prison for 9 years and told me he would microwave baby oil and put it on the floor of his cell except for the place he was standing. He'd then call out someone in the common area and when they came running in they'd slip and slide and he, standing in the only dry spot, would just pummel them while they tried to gain traction. That's the best base for MMA.

That's one of the best things I've ever heard.

Why was he pummelling these dudes?

Also, having conquered the Welterweight division and stand up comedy, Tyrone Woodley is in the upcoming lovely action movie 'Escape Plan 2' a sequel to a movie no one watched.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Untrustable posted:

My brother was in prison for 9 years and told me he would microwave baby oil and put it on the floor of his cell except for the place he was standing. He'd then call out someone in the common area and when they came running in they'd slip and slide and he, standing in the only dry spot, would just pummel them while they tried to gain traction. That's the best base for MMA.

And that man's name... Was Albert St. Pierre

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
the real crime here was putting a master of physical comedy like that in prison and not in front of a camera

Untrustable
Mar 17, 2009





Snowman_McK posted:

That's one of the best things I've ever heard.

Why was he pummelling these dudes?

Also, having conquered the Welterweight division and stand up comedy, Tyrone Woodley is in the upcoming lovely action movie 'Escape Plan 2' a sequel to a movie no one watched.

Probably 6 months after he got out I went out on a drive and took him with me and just let him talk about prison. He loved it but he's also probably very mentally ill. Fights could break out due to "heart checks" which is where someone tries to punk you to see if you're an easy target or not. He would react by heating up the baby oil and then talking poo poo from his dry spot. He said eventually it got to the point where no one would come in his cell if he was talking poo poo because they knew what was coming. Since they refused to engage in what was an almost guaranteed beating, they were seen as "bitches" and generally treated worse by the overall population. The only way to win was to enter the oildome and get beaten up to show you weren't a "bitch".

We missed so many visitation days because he was always in solitary. It wasn't limited to the baby oil beatdowns. He was and is still pretty formidable even without a clear advantage. I still give him poo poo though because he came out of prison at a well defined 185 or so and then put on tons of weight which I like to call the "freedom fifty".

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002

Untrustable posted:

The only way to win was to enter the oildome and get beaten up to show you weren't a "bitch".

lmfao, espn please order 2 seasons of baby oil beatdown

Untrustable
Mar 17, 2009





Triticum Guzzler posted:

lmfao, espn please order 2 seasons of baby oil beatdown

"Do you wanna be a fuckin baby oil fighter?" *One team jumps up and cheers, immediately slipping on baby oil as the other team descends on them*

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Untrustable posted:

Probably 6 months after he got out I went out on a drive and took him with me and just let him talk about prison. He loved it but he's also probably very mentally ill. Fights could break out due to "heart checks" which is where someone tries to punk you to see if you're an easy target or not. He would react by heating up the baby oil and then talking poo poo from his dry spot. He said eventually it got to the point where no one would come in his cell if he was talking poo poo because they knew what was coming. Since they refused to engage in what was an almost guaranteed beating, they were seen as "bitches" and generally treated worse by the overall population. The only way to win was to enter the oildome and get beaten up to show you weren't a "bitch".

We missed so many visitation days because he was always in solitary. It wasn't limited to the baby oil beatdowns. He was and is still pretty formidable even without a clear advantage. I still give him poo poo though because he came out of prison at a well defined 185 or so and then put on tons of weight which I like to call the "freedom fifty".

incredible

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
i'm trying to imagine having that specific repuation in prison. 'oh, that's the baby oil guy. you either go into the oil cell with him and get bashed into a greasy mush or get called gay and robbed / hosed a lot.'

Untrustable
Mar 17, 2009





Imagine being genuinely afraid that the baby oil guy was gonna call you out from his cell. That would be far worse.

It's like there were no options. Shoot for the legs? Nope. You'd slide on the oil and slam into the toilet. Go up high? Nope you'll just throw yourself off balance. The only option was to make a valiant effort and get covered in hot baby oil while a man pummels you about the head and face.

Untrustable fucked around with this message at 10:36 on May 17, 2018

SquirrelGrip
Jul 4, 2012
lol

SquirrelGrip
Jul 4, 2012
why does this never show up on the lovely prison shows

Shirkelton
Apr 6, 2009

I'm not loyal to anything, General... except the dream.
That's so insanely good I think I'm going to die.

El Roncho
Oct 15, 2006

I'm not necessarily proud of this but I'm gonna leave it here anyways.
Love a good prison story. Baby Oil Beatdown > DJ/TJ never happening.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Untrustable posted:

Probably 6 months after he got out I went out on a drive and took him with me and just let him talk about prison. He loved it but he's also probably very mentally ill. Fights could break out due to "heart checks" which is where someone tries to punk you to see if you're an easy target or not. He would react by heating up the baby oil and then talking poo poo from his dry spot. He said eventually it got to the point where no one would come in his cell if he was talking poo poo because they knew what was coming. Since they refused to engage in what was an almost guaranteed beating, they were seen as "bitches" and generally treated worse by the overall population. The only way to win was to enter the oildome and get beaten up to show you weren't a "bitch".

We missed so many visitation days because he was always in solitary. It wasn't limited to the baby oil beatdowns. He was and is still pretty formidable even without a clear advantage. I still give him poo poo though because he came out of prison at a well defined 185 or so and then put on tons of weight which I like to call the "freedom fifty".

loving lol

Wamsutta
Sep 9, 2001

I'm incredibly mad all of a sudden that Enter The Oildome wasn't an episode of Oz

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Wamsutta posted:

I'm incredibly mad all of a sudden that Enter The Oildome wasn't an episode of Oz

Pretty sure Adebesi and the Aryan's did this once.

mewse
May 2, 2006

Untrustable posted:

The only way to win was to enter the oildome and get beaten up to show you weren't a "bitch".

Much like real life,

I am Otis
Sep 22, 2003

Lol at the prison story

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Was this a turkish prison? For babies?

LobsterMobster posted:

ufc is maybe palelei vs krylov?

i really like this non-ufc fight:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjDnxKRtb0s

gently caress the first part of the fight was funny, but the whole finishing sequence had me roaring with laughter. The loving grappling there.

I should take a SFL fight - get a trip out to India.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Meltzer says Leslie Smith’s complaint to the National Labor Relations Board may also include a ruling as to whether UFC fighters are employees or independent contractors

quote:

The board, as part of its ruling on her complaint, would have to make a determination which category fighters fit into. The NLRB can’t go to bat or rule in cases involving independent contractors. Smith is claiming that UFC violated federal law that protects employees who engage in union activities by the nature of releasing her.

UFC used a sleight of hand as they never released her, as her contract expired and they opted not to sign her to a new contract even though she’s won her past two fights and her third fight saw her opponent miss weight and she didn’t fight. She was also ranked No. 9 in her weight class at the time they opted to not offer her a new deal and she was known for having exciting fights.

It’s not a secret why she was let go. But the NLRB can’t rule on it if she’s an independent contractor, meaning that ruling will be sped up.

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010
I obtain sexual gratification from observing people being inflicted with violent head injuries
I'm going to try this oil thing for myself. Why heat it in a microwave first? Does that make it more slippy?

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



WD is going to be our own la beast

Matt Lindland
Feb 10, 2018

SHUT THE FUCK UP KEVEN

ALSO GJ BUYING A NEW ACCOUNT LIKE A GODDAMN COWARD
YOU USELESS WHITE NOISE POSTER

YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE THE BOLF RAMSHIELD YOU SO RICHLY DESERVE


now with professional animation
I'd just wait till he wasn't in his cell and then beat your brother into the living death.

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit



Grimey Drawer
I'm genuinely surprised nobody managed to turn that around on him somehow. "Why don't you get our here and stop being a poo poo talking bitch in your cell?" I guess if he was pretty tough without it, it's a losing proposition either way, but you'd think even in prison someone would smart enough to figure out how to turn the tables.

Also, oil always seems like a bitch to clean off stuff, wouldn't his cell pretty much always be a slippery mess, not just when trying to start a fight?

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Matt Lindland posted:

I'd just wait till he wasn't in his cell and then beat your brother into the living death.

You'd never catch him because he'd be in the showers.

Afterbirth Aftermath
Aug 29, 2002
Leben v Anderson the fight isn't necessarily the funniest, but the clip with the pre-fight poo poo talk and the eventual outcome is very much so.

Untrustable posted:

Imagine being genuinely afraid that the baby oil guy was gonna call you out from his cell. That would be far worse.

It's like there were no options. Shoot for the legs? Nope. You'd slide on the oil and slam into the toilet. Go up high? Nope you'll just throw yourself off balance. The only option was to make a valiant effort and get covered in hot baby oil while a man pummels you about the head and face.

If you're going down anyway the only option is to hit a flying drop kick from outside the cell

Ditch
Jul 29, 2003

Backdrop Hunger
If you're going to talk about pre-fight talk setting up a funny outcome, there is no competition for this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M80HqjHvV0

YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Untrustable posted:

Probably 6 months after he got out I went out on a drive and took him with me and just let him talk about prison. He loved it but he's also probably very mentally ill. Fights could break out due to "heart checks" which is where someone tries to punk you to see if you're an easy target or not. He would react by heating up the baby oil and then talking poo poo from his dry spot. He said eventually it got to the point where no one would come in his cell if he was talking poo poo because they knew what was coming. Since they refused to engage in what was an almost guaranteed beating, they were seen as "bitches" and generally treated worse by the overall population. The only way to win was to enter the oildome and get beaten up to show you weren't a "bitch".

We missed so many visitation days because he was always in solitary. It wasn't limited to the baby oil beatdowns. He was and is still pretty formidable even without a clear advantage. I still give him poo poo though because he came out of prison at a well defined 185 or so and then put on tons of weight which I like to call the "freedom fifty".

I’m glad your brother went to prison so I could hear this story. Please thank him for his service.

Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.
This thread, generally speaking, makes me laugh more than any other thread on these dead gay forums but the Legend of Oildome has to be an all-time high point

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Matt Lindland posted:

I'd just wait till he wasn't in his cell and then beat your brother into the living death.

id stab him with my aryan brothers

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YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

I’d get beat up badly covered by and rolling around in warm baby oil because that is exactly my fetish.

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