UFC May - Oildome When? - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC May - Oildome When?

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Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

TIL in prison you will be labelled a human being if you do not step into the oildome and wrestle with the oiled up naked openly gay guy

# ? May 18, 2018 04:46

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 04:17

Soothing Vapors: Mar 26, 2006; Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

untrustable if you are making all of this up, please never tell us

let us believe

Lid posted:

TIL in prison you will be labelled a human being if you do not step into the oildome and wrestle with the oiled up naked openly gay guy

lol

# ? May 18, 2018 04:46

Snowman_McK: Jan 31, 2010

This is the best loving thread.

# ? May 18, 2018 04:48

Hollandia: Jul 27, 2007; rattus rattus; Grimey Drawer

Oil dome champ sounds p cool, thank him for the story.

Lid posted:

TIL in prison you will be labelled a human being if you do not step into the oildome and wrestle with the oiled up naked openly gay guy

Perfect.

# ? May 18, 2018 04:49

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

did your brother ever beat jerry lynn in "the block"

# ? May 18, 2018 04:57

Joey McChrist: Aug 8, 2005

loving legend of the sport. i hope GSP is taking notes

# ? May 18, 2018 05:02

Vengarr: Jun 17, 2010; Smashed before noon

Lid posted:

TIL in prison you will be labelled a human being if you do not step into the oildome and wrestle with the oiled up naked openly gay guy

TIL that prison is an endless series of Street Fighter 4 matches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9zG34SM1jc&t=40s

# ? May 18, 2018 05:12

JaySB: Nov 16, 2006

Oil Dome: 2 men enter, 1 man gets entered

# ? May 18, 2018 05:17

TheRationalRedditor: Jul 17, 2000; WHO ABUSED HIM. WHO ABUSED THE BOY.

Untrustable posted:

Oildome has become a thing. Hilarious. I'm glad my brother could provide the best new base for MMA. For the person asking what he was doing his time for it was drugs. 9 years in, 3 years supervised probation and 10 years unsupervised. He's not a bad dude but he likes a scrap. He just finished his 3 years supervised. I sent him a text saying that I have some questions. So if y'all want to know anything about oildome let me know and I'll ask him.

That's quite the sentence for a non-violent crime, how much weight was he holding when he got busted?

# ? May 18, 2018 05:19

Marching Powder: Mar 8, 2008; stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Untrustable posted:

Ok I just got off the phone with my brother and he has answered your oil dome questions. I'm quoting him pretty much directly.

Did anyone ever conquer the oil cell? "No, no one hosed with me in prison".

How did you bait people into the cell? "I talked poo poo and they'd come runnin'. I'd call them faggots or pussies and tell them to come get me".

Was it weird calling people faggots since you're an openly gay man? "No. It was loving prison."

How did you get people over and over? "You wanted to either catch one of the new guys who was acting tough, or wait long enough for someone to forget that you had done it to them before"

So people willingly entered your oil cell even after getting beat up in the same way? Why? "Because if they didn't come at me they'd be fuckin' losers and the rest of the guys would gently caress with them."

Who taught you this? Or did you come up with it on your own? "It's just prison poo poo. Everyone did it."

And a shocking revelation...

You're telling me your whole cell block knew the oil gambit and did it to each other? "Yeah but I was really good at it."

Did you ever get oiled? "Yeah but he was naked and oiled himself up and I was naked so it was a fair fight."

Did you win? "Yeah."

He says he's glad y'all can have a laugh about it and says hi.

lol @ everything

# ? May 18, 2018 05:22

n8r: Jul 3, 2003; I helped Lowtax become a cyborg and all I got was this lousy avatar

You're saying your brother liked prison?

# ? May 18, 2018 05:23

rare Magic card l00k: Jan 3, 2011

Do we have a goon with a stupid amount of money to buy an Oildome Fighting Championship belt?

# ? May 18, 2018 05:33

JaySB: Nov 16, 2006

rare Magic card l00k posted:

Do we have a goon with a stupid amount of money to buy an Oildome Fighting Championship belt?

Paging Jase1

# ? May 18, 2018 05:35

FishBowlRobot: Mar 21, 2006

n8r posted:

You're saying your brother liked prison?

Sounds like he was good at it.

# ? May 18, 2018 05:37

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

Guys guys this is the UFC thread, and there's a card in like 48 hours! I insisist that you end this ridiculous dera...

[checks card for UFC Fight Night: Maia vs. Usman]

So how did he clean the oil up? Or was his cell just always greasy? Was it a tile or cement floor? Or linoleum? I know he said that nobody hosed with him in jail, but did oil fights ever cause revenge cycles for people who weren't the champ?

# ? May 18, 2018 05:47

Marching Powder: Mar 8, 2008; stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

it's going to suck in 5 years time when i remember oildome and spend 45 minutes laughing about it but can't find the thread because the sa forums no longer exist or it still exists but retains the current search functionality

# ? May 18, 2018 05:54

JaySB: Nov 16, 2006

Tim Kennedy discusses Hitler for 17mins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwPHU4MJjAk

# ? May 18, 2018 05:59

JaySB: Nov 16, 2006

Marching Powder posted:

it's going to suck in 5 years time when i remember oildome and spend 45 minutes laughing about it but can't find the thread because the sa forums no longer exist or it still exists but retains the current search functionality

Screen shot for posterity

# ? May 18, 2018 05:59

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

JaySB posted:

Tim Kennedy discusses Hitler for 17mins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwPHU4MJjAk

Did he catch Hitler finally?

# ? May 18, 2018 06:03

JaySB: Nov 16, 2006

...and the pitch! posted:

Did he catch Hitler finally?

They've got top men working on it right now

# ? May 18, 2018 06:04

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

Lid posted:

TIL in prison you will be labelled a human being if you do not step into the oildome and wrestle with the oiled up naked openly gay guy

That's not how I got the label

# ? May 18, 2018 06:12

Untrustable: Mar 17, 2009

n8r posted:

You're saying your brother liked prison?

I put it in my first or second post but he's a bit crazy. He really did enjoy prison. If he gets mad he starts talking about, "I'll just go back to prison!". Anytime we've talked about it he remembers it fondly. He's got that type of mentality that let's people thrive in prison. He had no issue fighting or sitting in solitary or trading in contraband. He once punched a cellmate for snoring. When I asked him why he went to such extremes he just said, "prison makes you weird."

I'll stop derailing since nothing he's told me will ever top oildome as a source of hearty laughs.

Edit: Seriously though just goldmine this thread for the replies alone. Fuckin' top notch jokes from everyone.

Untrustable fucked around with this message at 06:50 on May 18, 2018

# ? May 18, 2018 06:43

DO YALL WANT A BOXC: Jul 20, 2010; HAHA! WOOOOOOO WOOO!; Fun Shoe

Untrustable posted:

Ok I just got off the phone with my brother and he has answered your oil dome questions. I'm quoting him pretty much directly.

Did anyone ever conquer the oil cell? "No, no one hosed with me in prison".

How did you bait people into the cell? "I talked poo poo and they'd come runnin'. I'd call them faggots or pussies and tell them to come get me".

Was it weird calling people faggots since you're an openly gay man? "No. It was loving prison."

How did you get people over and over? "You wanted to either catch one of the new guys who was acting tough, or wait long enough for someone to forget that you had done it to them before"

So people willingly entered your oil cell even after getting beat up in the same way? Why? "Because if they didn't come at me they'd be fuckin' losers and the rest of the guys would gently caress with them."

Who taught you this? Or did you come up with it on your own? "It's just prison poo poo. Everyone did it."

And a shocking revelation...

You're telling me your whole cell block knew the oil gambit and did it to each other? "Yeah but I was really good at it."

Did you ever get oiled? "Yeah but he was naked and oiled himself up and I was naked so it was a fair fight."

Did you win? "Yeah."

He says he's glad y'all can have a laugh about it and says hi.

lmfao

# ? May 18, 2018 07:23

Dr. Abysmal: Feb 17, 2010; We're all doomed

Next time Jon Anik asks you to make a post-fight call out you just dump a bunch of baby oil onto the Cerveza Modelo logo and call everybody a pussy human being and they have to come running in there.

# ? May 18, 2018 07:33

mewse: May 2, 2006

JaySB posted:

Tim Kennedy discusses Hitler for 17mins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwPHU4MJjAk

Joe Rogan is so the wrong person to be calling T-Ken out on his poo poo

# ? May 18, 2018 07:34

Josuke Higashikata: Mar 7, 2013

Goldmine this thread tyvm

# ? May 18, 2018 07:45

Untrustable: Mar 17, 2009

Dr. Abysmal posted:

Next time Jon Anik asks you to make a post-fight call out you just dump a bunch of baby oil onto the Cerveza Modelo logo and call everybody a pussy human being and they have to come running in there.

gently caress that's good. I think we now know what happened with Conor and Aldo. He didn't slip on a skateboard.

# ? May 18, 2018 07:46

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Oildome has made me so happy, thank you Untrustable

# ? May 18, 2018 07:58

Untrustable: Mar 17, 2009

There's a little bit of oildome in all of us, Jerusalem.

# ? May 18, 2018 08:06

Brown Paper Bag: Nov 3, 2012

Oil dome post would only make sense in a MMA thread

# ? May 18, 2018 11:05

The Dave: Sep 9, 2003

I love the story but lol at everyone just blindly believing guy in prison claiming he never lost a fight.

# ? May 18, 2018 12:35

Southpaugh: May 26, 2007; Smokey Bacon

The Dave posted:

I love the story but lol at everyone just blindly believing guy in prison claiming he never lost a fight.

Sometimes, things are just fun and cynicism is boring.

# ? May 18, 2018 12:46

Dr. Abysmal: Feb 17, 2010; We're all doomed

Nick Diaz, in a small dry spot surrounded by a puddle of microwaved baby oil: Where you at, Gorge? Where you at motherfucker?

# ? May 18, 2018 12:50

The Dave: Sep 9, 2003

Southpaugh posted:

Sometimes, things are just fun and cynicism is boring.

Please stop using triggering language.

# ? May 18, 2018 12:53

david carmichael: Oct 28, 2011

The Dave posted:

I love the story but lol at everyone just blindly believing guy in prison claiming he never lost a fight.

To bring it back to mma: Everyone believed when justin thacker, a guy who has a disease that makes him lie uncontrollably, claimed he fought a ninja gauntlet in front of the nsac at dana white's house. When i asked the author of the article if he fact checked that story or had any verification whatsoever he blocked me.

# ? May 18, 2018 13:05

CRISPYBABY: Dec 15, 2007; by Reene

Lid posted:

TIL in prison you will be labelled a human being if you do not step into the oildome and wrestle with the oiled up naked openly gay guy

https://youtu.be/jCT0yhihKj0

# ? May 18, 2018 13:08

Marching Powder: Mar 8, 2008; stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

The Dave posted:

I love the story but lol at everyone just blindly believing guy in prison claiming he never lost a fight.

i'm not going to earnestly defend the oildome guy's honour but he litereally never claimed that. please present some further argument that the baby oil prison man is just an outlandish story told to entertain the somethingawful forum

# ? May 18, 2018 13:12

CRISPYBABY: Dec 15, 2007; by Reene

You know when you read a book with an unreliable narrator but you enjoy it even more because of it?

Just enjoy the mental picture.

# ? May 18, 2018 13:13

Wamsutta: Sep 9, 2001

Just going about daily life in prison fully terrified that today will be the day that baby oil guy picks you for the oil dome callout and your literal only choice is to go in there and get mollywhopped to avoid being called a cuck by your fellow inmates

I'm hootin and hollerin laughing at work at 8:16am

# ? May 18, 2018 13:17

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 04:17

Wamsutta: Sep 9, 2001

My mental version of baby oil brother is Stevie Janowski from Eastbound and Down

# ? May 18, 2018 13:18

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC May - Oildome When?

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