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Stop that. I do not like it. E: goddamn new page.
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Jun 5, 2018 02:25
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 23:38 |
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Now pick up a beer can! But by using your weird backwards bendy hand. Not normally.
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Jun 5, 2018 02:31
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Awkward, Ugly & Gross Human Joint Tricks
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Jun 5, 2018 02:42
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 He called it a meat scepter twice.
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Jun 5, 2018 02:43
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Solice Kirsk posted:Now pick up a beer can! But by using your weird backwards bendy hand. Not normally. I've tried but my skin is too smooth. Without fingerprints I can't get a grip on it.
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Jun 5, 2018 02:44
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chitoryu12 posted:
I don't think you gain any authority from grasping it, despite what he might think.
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Jun 5, 2018 02:57
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Not sure if this counts, but this happens to my thumb whenever I grip anything:  There's another gross trick I can do with it, but I'd have to film it and I don't have the energy for that. Plus, it's not as impressive if you can't hear the soft crunching sounds.
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Jun 5, 2018 03:03
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cash crab posted:Not sure if this counts, but this happens to my thumb whenever I grip anything: Double jointed thumb eh? I got those. Is your weird trick making it do "the wave" as I call it?
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Jun 5, 2018 03:19
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No, I take one thumb and use my other hand to twist it around like a joystick. The movements are a little jerky, but it's a good party trick. Additionally, my hips are double jointed and I can "snap" them out of place, and I can also turn either one of my feet around so that one foot is pointing behind me and the other is pointing forward. I'll see if I can get a picture of the last one. e: Walla!  I just want to say it was very hard doing that, holding the pose and then bending over and trying to get a picture. cash crab has a new favorite as of 03:35 on Jun 5, 2018 |
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Jun 5, 2018 03:31
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cash crab posted:No, I take one thumb and use my other hand to twist it around like a joystick. That looks slightly non-raccoonish. I’m not sure I believe that picture.
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Jun 5, 2018 03:36
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A few months ago while at work, some co-workers and I made plans to hit the bar after work. As we were all getting back to the station and changing crews, we got this text to the group message, a picture of the 911 call our buddy was getting sent on, as he was supposed to get off. As well as his mood. He was not happy that that was the reason he was getting off late. We all had a good laugh about it later when he finally showed up to drink, though, so there's that.
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Jun 5, 2018 03:37
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Who the hell calls 911 for that? Just man/lady up and embarrassingly cough it onto your lover's sheets/thighs/stomach and then call him an rear end in a top hat as you walk to the bathroom with strings of it still hanging from your nose. Fuckin' amateur hour over there.
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Jun 5, 2018 03:43
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cash crab posted:Not sure if this counts, but this happens to my thumb whenever I grip anything: My joints are all hosed. Half of my fingers naturally bend backwards almost 45 degrees. 
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Jun 5, 2018 03:44
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Where'd you buy that amazingly tiny cat?
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Jun 5, 2018 03:45
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Solice Kirsk posted:Who the hell calls 911 for that? Just man/lady up and embarrassingly cough it onto your lover's sheets/thighs/stomach and then call him an rear end in a top hat as you walk to the bathroom with strings of it still hanging from your nose. Fuckin' amateur hour over there. Inhaled, maybe? BaronVonVaderham posted:My joints are all hosed. Half of my fingers naturally bend backwards almost 45 degrees.  KITTY
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Jun 5, 2018 03:47
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We rescued him on Friday  (for further details, keep up with the Cute Thread)
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Jun 5, 2018 03:47
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BaronVonVaderham posted:My joints are all hosed. Half of my fingers naturally bend backwards almost 45 degrees. Mine go back almost to a full 90 degrees and like, I have to make a full effort to make my fingers go out straight.
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Jun 5, 2018 04:14
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I don't think it's quite as exciting but some people get weirded out by the fact that I can bend the tips of my fingers without bending the other joints.
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Jun 5, 2018 04:37
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Cash Crab you are awfully generous to add so much fodder for Elsa's spank bank.
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Jun 5, 2018 04:42
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Jun 5, 2018 04:48
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Never put smoldering nuts in your eyes. Put smoldering nuts in your eyes. Always put smoldering nuts in your eyes.
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Jun 5, 2018 04:57
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Kill Danny.
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Jun 5, 2018 05:11
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What is this smoldering glasses thing intended to do? Are we going to see a Bluetooth enabled version on Kickstarter in six months?
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Jun 5, 2018 05:18
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Sarah Huckabee-Sanders wishes her smokey eye game was that good.
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Jun 5, 2018 05:18
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A friend of mine had a gender reveal party where she had a cake with a pink tier and a blue swirly tier because really gender is meaningless and the baby can choose whatever gender it wants and I'm like no, you don't get to be tumblrwoke at the goddamn gender reveal party. You get to either have a pink goddamn cake or you have a normal baby shower. If your baby grows up to be a transdude, no one's gonna judge and we all know you're a super supportive mom to be, it's fine. If I ever have a gender reveal party I plan to have the cake or the balloons or whatever be orange. Just me, excited as hell, with the orange whatever, and my friends and family  ing as hard as possible. It's gonna own.
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Jun 5, 2018 05:21
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Bean posted:
I also hope you discover your gender someday 
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Jun 5, 2018 05:34
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Bean posted:A friend of mine had a gender reveal party where she had a cake with a pink tier and a blue swirly tier because really gender is meaningless and the baby can choose whatever gender it wants and I'm like no, you don't get to be tumblrwoke at the goddamn gender reveal party. You get to either have a pink goddamn cake or you have a normal baby shower. If your baby grows up to be a transdude, no one's gonna judge and we all know you're a super supportive mom to be, it's fine. 
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Jun 5, 2018 05:37
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Do you identify as a good poster? Because if so you're not cisposter.
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Jun 5, 2018 06:56
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Panfilo posted:Cash Crab you are awfully generous to add so much fodder for Elsa's spank bank. Is that guy still around? I remember when I first started out here and he proposed an art trade; I fulfilled my end, and he was put on a month-long ban for propositioning a mod. Bean posted:If I ever have a gender reveal party I plan to have the cake or the balloons or whatever be orange. Just me, excited as hell, with the orange whatever, and my friends and family "Do you know what this party is for?" "No, I just got this invitation in the mail. Did someone have a baby or something?" [Bean jumps out from a cake, orange streamers erupt from an unknown source, balloons everywhere]
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Jun 5, 2018 07:27
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Bean is coming out as a fan of Dutch football.
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Jun 5, 2018 07:33
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My gender is early Snooki!
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Jun 5, 2018 09:27
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I went to the ER because I choked on semen. It hit the back of my throat weird, made me cough so hard I spit up blood, so I started to panic, which made me hyperventilate and pass out face first into a dresser drawer corner. Gave myself a gash that bled everywhere. Had to call an ambulance while I was naked, get laughed at a lot in the ER, and got seven stitches in my forehead. I still have a scar there. A reminder not to goddamn inhale when the dude yells "aahhhh ther it is!" at the end. I'm weirdly proud of the fact that the dude called me for another date. fizzymercury has a new favorite as of 11:57 on Jun 5, 2018 |
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Jun 5, 2018 11:54
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Bean posted:If I ever have a gender reveal party I plan to have the cake or the balloons or whatever be orange. Just me, excited as hell, with the orange whatever, and my friends and family There was actually a Tumblr joke post about doing exactly this but it was green instead of orange and it ended with the poster locking all the doors and lecturing their family about how damaging reinforcing the gender binary is for several hours
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Jun 5, 2018 12:01
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fizzymercy posted:I went to the ER because I choked on semen. It hit the back of my throat weird, made me cough so hard I spit up blood, so I started to panic, which made me hyperventilate and pass out face first into a dresser drawer corner. Gave myself a gash that bled everywhere. Had to call an ambulance while I was naked, get laughed at a lot in the ER, and got seven stitches in my forehead. I still have a scar there. A reminder not to goddamn inhale when the dude yells "aahhhh ther it is!" at the end. Awkward, Ugly & Gross: aahhhh ther it is!
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Jun 5, 2018 12:31
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cash crab posted:Is that guy still around? I remember when I first started out here and he proposed an art trade; I fulfilled my end, and he was put on a month-long ban for propositioning a mod. Nah, Elsa got permabanned in the reddit relationships thread in gbs. He went through a little while of being a decent content poster, illustrating some stories, but hosed it all up again.
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Jun 5, 2018 12:43
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Picnic Princess posted:Never put smoldering nuts in your eyes. Put them in there do not put them in there
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Jun 5, 2018 14:40
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fizzymercy posted:I went to the ER because I choked on semen. It hit the back of my throat weird, made me cough so hard I spit up blood, so I started to panic, which made me hyperventilate and pass out face first into a dresser drawer corner. Gave myself a gash that bled everywhere. Had to call an ambulance while I was naked, get laughed at a lot in the ER, and got seven stitches in my forehead. I still have a scar there. A reminder not to goddamn inhale when the dude yells "aahhhh ther it is!" at the end. I cackled loudly at this, thanks. I once had to make a somewhat similar ER trip. I had a gf take a diving leap into my bed only to bounce her skull off a shelf that was installed above the corner. I laughed until she started bleeding all over the place. I've had head wounds before so they don't freak me out and once I had it under control and saw the length of the gash, I told her she'd have to get some stitches. A rather uneventful trip to the clinic except for the third degree they gave me assuming I was abusing her. Don't blame them though, they gotta keep a look out for that poo poo. Hurray sexy trauma!
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Jun 5, 2018 15:46
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Haha, wow that's awful. That poor girl. It sucks that you got The Questions. My guy got them even though he vomited and fainted at the sight of them stitching up my head. I wonder how often EMTs put up with clumsy sex maneuver calls?
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Jun 5, 2018 17:32
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fizzymercy posted:the dude yells "aahhhh ther it is!" at the end. 
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Jun 5, 2018 17:38
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I remember hearing somewhere that something like 30% of people have been injured during sex. I did manage to break a partner's ankles once because it turns out that floors are hard
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Jun 5, 2018 17:52
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