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Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler

JEEVES420 posted:

Don't have kids if you can't afford them.

I know someone who had a reveal party and then miscarried so whats that saying? Don't ask for free poo poo from your friends before it hatches.

Lol yes I'm sure this couple was laughing all the way to the bank with their classic switcheroo trickery.

People do baby showers before the baby is born because after the baby is born they're too busy taking care of a newborn to have a party about it. Not to mention you kinda need the crib and stuff ready before they come home... The gender reveal thing I don't really get but whatever, just make up some excuse if you don't want to go for fucks sake.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

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Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Dixville posted:

Lol yes I'm sure this couple was laughing all the way to the bank with their classic switcheroo trickery.

People do baby showers before the baby is born because after the baby is born they're too busy taking care of a newborn to have a party about it. Not to mention you kinda need the crib and stuff ready before they come home... The gender reveal thing I don't really get but whatever, just make up some excuse if you don't want to go for fucks sake.

You mean you can't just stuff a baby in an old shoe box with some torn up newspaper?

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

JEEVES420 posted:

Don't have kids if you can't afford them.

I know someone who had a reveal party and then miscarried so whats that saying? Don't ask for free poo poo from your friends before it hatches.

What is it like to be so alone and devoid of human friendship? Also, yeah, as a person who's gone through a miscarriage, we were stoked. gently caress you.

Forsythia
Jan 28, 2007

You want bad advice?

Anything is okay if you don't get caught!

... I hope this helps!
So there's a Youtube channel called Sorrow TV that collects messages that are awkward at best and ugly and gross at the worst, then reads them aloud. He covers a lot of territory.

Here's a milder one featuring selfishness and delusion. My favorite part is the Gucci bag at 9:56:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdgYbM63hjA

Here's his most horrifying offering, a diary of an insane creeper planning out his life with an unsuspecting coworker (:nms:):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5og1md7Y0M

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.

JEEVES420 posted:

Don't have kids if you can't afford them.

I know someone who had a reveal party and then miscarried so whats that saying? Don't ask for free poo poo from your friends before it hatches.

You're a stupid loving rear end in a top hat and you should have been miscarried.

All the people I know only wanted to know the gender of my wife's and mine daughter because they were curious. We got plenty of neutral clothes, which kicked rear end. Baby clothes are stupidly expensive.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


What I got from that tick story was the parent was perfectly ok with letting her dog suffer from a massive tick infestation.

Piece of poo poo.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

LingcodKilla posted:

What I got from that tick story was the parent was perfectly ok with letting her dog suffer from a massive tick infestation.

Piece of poo poo.

From the sound of it, they had their toddler doing a pretty good job of taking care of the problem.

'Having kids you can't afford' doesn't exactly factor in the reality that we're all one injury, layoff or lawsuit away from living on the street giving hand jobs for crack. People's lives change, sometimes very suddenly. It's also a really lovely thing to say to pregnant widows.

Megabound
Oct 20, 2012

Stop creating your own content in the AUG thread





Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

Megabound posted:

Stop creating your own content in the AUG thread




Extremely late 90s aesthetic

Mr. Snickerdoodles
Nov 19, 2013

You motherfucking bastard. Jesus.


Bobby Digital posted:

Extremely late 90s aesthetic

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. For a minute, I wondered if I was just missing the 90's.

Mr. Snickerdoodles has a new favorite as of 00:01 on Jun 6, 2018

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006


Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Megabound posted:

Stop creating your own content in the AUG thread




Wow, who knew Grimace's mom was such a looker?

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology




what the gently caress is this man wearing

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

If twelve drivers license examinations came to life and formed a football team, he would be their cheerleader

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

cash crab posted:



what the gently caress is this man wearing

Last years garbage bag.

TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!

Solice Kirsk posted:

Last years garbage bag.

right but what is the bag wearing?

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


girl pants posted:

And furthermore,



ahhh yes, the two genders, guns and glitter

Um. That gun is mighty glittery.

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




It's intersex

Solar Tornado
Aug 9, 2016

A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained

cash crab posted:



what the gently caress is this man wearing

Anyone has the irony-cat the just doesn't stop growing?

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

He's taking that old saying "Garbage men and pick-up artists need to switch names" very, very seriously.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

This came on my Spotify mix. The cover art is...interesting.

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.
Was it any good? I think that's important in determining exact AUG levels.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I just looked them up, and they are so, SO dangerously close to sounding like really excellent 1980s classic Goth music, but it sounds like he's asking for permission to be there and it sort of kills the whole vibe for me. Additionally:



NERRRRRRRRRRD

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

John Ringo used them as the protagonist’s favorite band in the Ghost series of extremely racist right-wing novels, including having him sing the lyrics during action scenes, so they’re permanently associated with that in my mind.

Also their music videos feel like a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP on film:

https://youtu.be/SVNjx4k8mWk

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


loving hell.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

I can’t remember if the singer is/was married to either the violinist or one of the spastic dancers on stage.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I will bet twenty bucks that it was both, either simultaneously or at different times.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

It’s like I’d want to listen to them, but....



You can smell the MDMA crumbled in the vodka.

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Well that mildly graphic description made me retch.

Lazlo Nibble
Jan 9, 2004

It was Weasleby, by God! At last I had the miserable blighter precisely where I wanted him!
How in god’s name are The Crüxshadows still around after 25 years? :aaaaa:

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
pray for daayyylight bwomp bwomp pray for mooorning bwomp bwomp pray for ordinate wee our deceptionnnn

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Lazlo Nibble posted:

How in god’s name are The Crüxshadows still around after 25 years? :aaaaa:

The hairspray is a preservative.

Non-comedy answer, I think the goth community just hasn’t really evolved enough in 25 years that Crüxshadows is out of date.

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost

fizzymercy posted:

I wonder how often EMTs put up with clumsy sex maneuver calls?

More often than you think. I personally transported an unfortunate 61 year old gentleman with a vibrator stuck all the way up his rear end, still vibrating. I still have a picture of the x-ray to this day. Also transported a girl who slipped and broke her ankle in her shower trying to uh, help herself while putting a leg up on her soap dish, and also an 18 year old kid who "got a condom stuck on his penis." He was an idiot. It wasn't stuck.

These people are also generally some of the coolest people I get to interact with. They're usually pretty good humored about their situation, which is awesome.

canadianclassic
Nov 3, 2004

Megabound posted:

Stop creating your own content in the AUG thread




Don't doxx Laura and Danny from the diary, man

Mr. Snickerdoodles
Nov 19, 2013

chitoryu12 posted:

The hairspray is a preservative.

Non-comedy answer, I think the goth community just hasn’t really evolved enough in 25 years that Crüxshadows is out of date.

Am an aging goth. Can confirm.

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.
College Slice

chitoryu12 posted:

It’s like I’d want to listen to them, but....



You can smell the MDMA crumbled in the vodka.

God drat. It's like some mad scientist punched "1999, Hot Topic and video card box art" into a music maker and this is what slithered out of it's mechanical anus.

Perestroika
Apr 8, 2010

chitoryu12 posted:

John Ringo used them as the protagonist’s favorite band in the Ghost series of extremely racist right-wing novels, including having him sing the lyrics during action scenes, so they’re permanently associated with that in my mind.

Also their music videos feel like a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP on film:

https://youtu.be/SVNjx4k8mWk

Oh gently caress, that's why the name rang a bell. The best part is that Ringo made them out to be this super hardcore power metal band for trve warriors, and when you see them they turn out to be... that. And in Ringo's books they're actually portrayed as being super popular among all the high speed low drag special ops for some reason. Like whenever his protagonist runs into some random Green Beret or Delta Force guy they end up quoting their lyrics at each other, because they're just that metal. :allears:

Peg Sliderskew
Jan 4, 2010

Iron Crowned posted:

I remember hearing somewhere that something like 30% of people have been injured during sex. I did manage to break a partner's ankles once because it turns out that floors are hard

So no one else is curious about this comment?

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




Yeah, it got a bit lost in the shuffle, but do tell?

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yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Mizuti posted:

So there's a Youtube channel called ... that collects messages that are awkward at best and ugly and gross at the worst, then reads them aloud. He covers a lot of territory.

Here's a milder one featuring selfishness and delusion. My favorite part is the Gucci bag at 9:56:

Here's his most horrifying offering, a diary of an insane creeper planning out his life with an unsuspecting coworker (:nms:):


I like the content but I can't stand the narrator and his need to sing every 30 seconds. There are some pretty good ones in there though if you can get past that.

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