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Just hangin' out, thinking about how cool I am being a sorcerer and all. So a little about me, I'm 234 years old, been a sorceror for about 200 of them or so ever since I realized I could tap into the primal energies of the cosmic void. My familiar is a little quokka which is a total chick magnet (not like I need the help). I specialize in disintegration, teleportation and mind control. I'm also into a few schools that you've probably never heard of. In my spare time I brew craft beer, listen to Mastodon and hit up the local BDSM clubs. Partied so hard last weekend that I tore open a dimensional hole to Limbo, that was some weird poo poo, especially when you're tripping balls on acid. Yeah, people love me at a party because of my ability to conjure fire and lighting from the nether. One time I ensorcled this lame rear end wizard to go buy weed but then called the cops on him because he's such a loser. So what other sorcerers do we have on the SA forums and what's your background?
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 19:53 |
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# ? Apr 19, 2024 03:45 |
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Me Grug. Me dumber than an average peasant but me a sorcerer.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:29 |
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Oh, how quaint, a sorcerer. Do you do childrens' birthday parties? My niece loving loves rabbits
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:52 |
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I turned my butt into a bag of holding.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 20:53 |
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Oh I thought this was the cool SOCCER thread
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:22 |
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Jon Joe posted:Oh I thought this was the cool SOCCER thread Would you still like to hear about my rear end?
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:25 |
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Bum the Sad posted:Would you still like to hear about my rear end? The Bitcoin thread is over there, dingus.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:27 |
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Jon Joe posted:cool SOCCER huh???
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:31 |
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Conjuring poo poo is lame and the arcane arts are weak af. Try out some real magic next time
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:43 |
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ferroque posted:Conjuring poo poo is lame and the arcane arts are weak af. Try out some real magic next time lol look at this scrub wizard coming up in here, bitch get back to your tower and play with your staff
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:49 |
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 21:51 |
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Lil Peeler posted:lol look at this scrub wizard coming up in here, bitch get back to your tower and play with your staff Your mom sure played with my Wizard staff. I had to make her wear a belt of gender change first, on account of being a gay wizard, but I think I made my point. That said, your mother has a massive penis. I mean honestly you should really take pride in that.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:00 |
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hey OP how about u "conjure" deeze nutz in yo mouf
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:03 |
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:04 |
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A sorcerer is just a wizard going through a mid-life crisis.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:23 |
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It's me, fireball guy. At like 18 I realized I could cast a level 70 fireball at will. That's it, just fireballs. Big ones though! Haha. I don't have to study or anything, just have to keep in shape and wear really brightly colored clothing, get my hair did. Have to keep that charisma high! Want me in your adventure party? Cool! I'll fire your enemies. In a ball shape. Door locked? I'll fireball it. Need information out of an enemy guard? I'll shoot him, with a fireball. Impassible bottomless pit? I'll fireball it! Fire proof enemy? I'll run away screaming. I'll throw fireballs at literally any problems in life, which at least destroys evidence of failures.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 22:48 |
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Watch out for my arch enemies Lightning Bolt Guy, Ice Guy Who Throws Big Icicles At You And Also You Flash Blue And Walk Slow For A Minute When He Hits You, and Poison Guy. Poison Guy got a bad deal imo. When he zaps you with vague green energy bolts a bunch of plants sprout and wiggle around your feet menacingly and your health meter drops until you stop glowing or drink Health potions. The plants stop wiggling and then sit there forever too so he goes around ruining lawns a lot whenever he fights people.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:04 |
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naem posted:It's me, fireball guy. At like 18 I realized I could cast a level 70 fireball at will. This is a cool sorcerer thing to do. I'm also big on incinerating stuff, like loser wizard beards.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:19 |
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I'm a warlock would anyone like a cup of willow tea
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:22 |
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the virgin wizard and the chad sorcerer mostly wizards try to make up for every person they find attractive hating them by delving into enchantment, which is pretty dang rapey. sorcerers don't need to bother with that poo poo because of how good looking and pleasant they are.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:24 |
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What about warlocks, clerics, and bards? Quit creating divisiveness among the CHA classes you otyugh-fucker.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:27 |
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I could spend decades learning spells but why bother when the few I have now are really good already.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:42 |
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Yo, been a bard all my life but recently been going through kind of a weird spot. Feeling kind of magically anxious if you know what I mean. Monday morning got out of bed and accidentally cast something on one of my socks that made it start wiggling and (I think?) quietly cursing at me nonstop. Looked it up and this has all the signs of Grimbly's Lesser Possession which is a level 3 spell WTF. All my points are in harps and paeans.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:46 |
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Labes for days posted:What about warlocks, clerics, and bards? Quit creating divisiveness among the CHA classes you otyugh-fucker. I thought warlocks and clerics were WIS based? I mean I don't know and can't be bothered to check because I'm too busy standing dramatically with the setting sun to my back with at least one of my nipples showing through my robe/shirt-with-holes-in-it/a-big-fireball-sewn-on-it and also my hair is blowing around even though there's no wind and my eyes are glowing red (just a little don't want to overdo it)
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:48 |
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Why the gently caress are we letting the Barbarians in? Do you know how many wizards Barbarians have decapitated? I'm not saying we should put them in torture racks and use them as slave labor, that just also ends in decapitation. I'm saying we should maybe just give them some gold and encourage them to take a quest as far away from us all as possible.
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# ? Jun 13, 2018 23:51 |
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Blazing Ownager posted:Why the gently caress are we letting the Barbarians in? Do you know how many wizards Barbarians have decapitated? Most sorcerers and barbarians come from the same cultures. Paladins train for years to be knighted in shining armor, and wizards study for a century to become powerful. So they tend to work together. With barbs and sorcs, it's all inborn athleticism and/or natural talent, so there's an anti-intellectual jock/rockstar mentality in common. As long as you have the same color face paint and common enemies you're usually good to go. Plus the walking around shirtless thing.
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:02 |
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the biggest conundrum is was Thulsa Doom a barbarian, or a sorcerer
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:04 |
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There's ALSO the fact that most sorcerers get their powers from inhuman heritage and THAT is usually because barbarians will gently caress like, ANYTHING. Half elves? Barbarian hosed an elf. Understandable. Demonkin? It was a purple lady demon in like a bikini so yeah Throgg was into it. Dragon kin though? Somebody hosed a dang dragon I mean who else is dumb enough to even try that. Like a half-human half-dragon can often appear in pretty much human form and look like a hot lady but still SOMEBODY must have been the first to to have sex with an actual giant fire lizard monster you know?? Don't get me wrong I love shooting fireballs but my skin gets dry and scaly if I don't moisturize
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:10 |
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Former DILF posted:I'm a warlock would anyone like a cup of willow tea Lol gently caress you guys. You know how the story goes, wizards study for the final and get an A, sorcerers just show up rested and get a B, and Warlocks suck the teacher’s dick for a passing grade.
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:39 |
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My thought is, why do witching when you can just do sourcing? Welp turns out sourcing is actually just witching and divination at the same time. P cool.
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:42 |
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Its cool to see so many like minded people. How does everyone deal with the big family dinners? Last thanksgiving, my uncle's new wife ACTUALLY said, "so I hear you're a druid or something?"
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:48 |
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Gentleman Baller posted:Its cool to see so many like minded people. How does everyone deal with the big family dinners? Last thanksgiving, my uncle's new wife ACTUALLY said, "so I hear you're a druid or something?" Then you say “no IDIOT! Druids can’t even access the mainframe anymore”
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 00:50 |
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naem posted:I thought warlocks and clerics were WIS based? Go back to the side of whatever stoner's van you wandered off of, for you clearly know nothing of manipulating magical forces through sheer strength of personality. ok yeah it's WIS for clerics
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:15 |
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I had a sorcerer brag about being 1/8th dragon or some poo poo, like I'm supposed to be impressed that his great grandma hosed a lizard or something.
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:56 |
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Deki posted:I had a sorcerer brag about being 1/8th dragon or some poo poo, like I'm supposed to be impressed that his great grandma hosed a lizard or something. i suppose it doesn't sound very impressive considering that your grandma was the world champion of lizard loving
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 03:58 |
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Deki posted:I had a sorcerer brag about being 1/8th dragon or some poo poo, like I'm supposed to be impressed that his great grandma hosed a lizard or something. whoa lets cool it on the racism buddy
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:01 |
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Rage mages are the best balance of barbarian physical prowess and natural magic. Some may call us abominations, but they only do it once on account of how angry it makes us. One time, at Starbucks, I was asked to wear more than a wolf pelt covering my wang, I ended up leveling the city block.
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:08 |
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Deki posted:I had a sorcerer brag about being 1/8th dragon or some poo poo, like I'm supposed to be impressed that his great grandma hosed a lizard or something. You might want to remind them at as reptiles dragons don't even have wieners lol. Just a, cloaca, kind of an all purpose hole. Can't even tell who is male or female, you have to like, count their horns or something. Which kinda makes the origin of dragonkin that much more disturbing
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:09 |
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naem posted:You might want to remind them at as reptiles dragons don't even have wieners lol. Just a, cloaca, kind of an all purpose hole. Can't even tell who is male or female, you have to like, count their horns or something. dragons are mammals
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:13 |
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# ? Apr 19, 2024 03:45 |
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naem posted:You might want to remind them at as reptiles dragons don't even have wieners lol. Just a, cloaca, kind of an all purpose hole. Can't even tell who is male or female, you have to like, count their horns or something. dragons are warm blooded, dunkass they aint reptiles
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# ? Jun 14, 2018 04:40 |