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OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

Gavok posted:

This is the best explanation for why people don't like Matt Striker. He could do a great job calling a match with enthusiasm and passion, but at some point he'll yell, "Chris Benoit did nothing wrong!" and ruin any goodwill.

So he doing it for Benghazi?

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Draxion
Jun 9, 2013




Replace him and Vampiro with Derrick and Rocco imo.

https://youtu.be/tjsGUMfmTHU

Nehru the Damaja
May 20, 2005

I didn't like how the Temple looks clean but has weird lovely yellow lighting. I hope that gets addressed as the show moves on.

So who all is written off? Hernandez didn't need it so the arm break is kinda weird. I assume Marty's gone. Either Mariposa is already gone or she's already checked herself out mentally because yeah. Angelico is gone. Fox hasn't changed his twitter away from Dante so I feel like his absence might be a story thing rather than a quitting thing?

edit: Also was Chavo ever reinstated on screen or do we just roll with it?

Nehru the Damaja fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Jun 14, 2018

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

I'm becom-, I'm becom-,
I'm becoming
Tana in, Tana in my mind.



Nehru the Damaja posted:

edit: Also was Chavo ever reinstated on screen or do we just roll with it?

I assumed that Papa Cueto nullified his son's decision. I was happily surprised to see Chavo.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames

Nehru the Damaja posted:

So who all is written off? Hernandez didn't need it so the arm break is kinda weird. I assume Marty's gone. Either Mariposa is already gone or she's already checked herself out mentally because yeah. Angelico is gone. Fox hasn't changed his twitter away from Dante so I feel like his absence might be a story thing rather than a quitting thing?
Just to include them for the "well, duh" category: Sexy, Puma, probably Rey unless he does a per appearance thing.

Going by the trailer though, it seems like they still have stuff in mind for Marty.

Ghidzilla
May 12, 2009
Because I'm derpy, that *was* still Cheerleader Melissa as Mariposa, right?

Good enough opening show, next week's main event will be boss.

We Got Us A Bread
Jul 23, 2007

Benne posted:

I guess, but it just felt like half "people coming in to eat quick pins and gently caress off out of their contracts" and half "hastily reminding you of storylines still going on" without letting anything sink in. It didn't have the cohesion or flow of the other Aztec Warfare matches, and looked edited to hell and back. At least Pentagon got a strong win and the most eliminations, which was the right call.

Also unless Melissa, uh, put on some weight over the past year, that definitely wasn't her in the Mariposa suit.

Ghidzilla posted:

Because I'm derpy, that *was* still Cheerleader Melissa as Mariposa, right?

Good enough opening show, next week's main event will be boss.

Yeah, that was still her, she took time off to get breast implants and probably couldn't do much while she was healing. Someone on Reddit posted this: :nws: https://gfycat.com/HardtofindFirmHummingbird . I'm only posting that link as a 'yep, it's her', not as anything creepy.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
I'm the pepperoni slice laying in the ring the entire match.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

exploded mummy posted:

or if the very first one they ever put on had the champion of women everywhere get absolutely belittled and pinned in a 3 minute sqaush

I thought that was a good way of subverting the audience's expectations. She's a woman babyface, she'll obviously win this match, right? Nope. They wanted to demonstrate, right off the bat, that this show will be deviating from the usual.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
I just read AR Fox said he missed the first taping due to some travel issues, so he won't be around until later in the season, but he's not gone!

I'm glad they changed Vibora's mask for Austin Matelson's sake. The long dino-snout one he had last season looked like a nightmare to wrestle in.


\/\/\/ I was thinking more along the lines of seeing well over a giant central beak, but yeah, didn't look easy to breathe in either.

sticklefifer fucked around with this message at 10:34 on Jun 15, 2018

LupusAter
Sep 5, 2011

sticklefifer posted:

I'm glad they changed Vibora's mask for Austin Matelson's sake. The long dino-snout one he had last season looked like a nightmare to wrestle in.

Yeah, it looked awesome but also airtight. Dunno how he managed to breathe, let alone wrestle.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

I hate Papa Cueto's voice, bring back proper Dario :mad:

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

Jerusalem posted:

I hate Papa Cueto's voice, bring back proper Dario :mad:

i wonder how long at a time he can keep that up

Nehru the Damaja
May 20, 2005

Papa Cueto is so weird because I can't tell if we're supposed to know, in kayfabe, whether that's obviously Dario in a beard, or if they're clearly different in kayfabe and we just know that's clearly Luis Fernandez Gil in a beard.

LupusAter
Sep 5, 2011

Nehru the Damaja posted:

Papa Cueto is so weird because I can't tell if we're supposed to know, in kayfabe, whether that's obviously Dario in a beard, or if they're clearly different in kayfabe and we just know that's clearly Luis Fernandez Gil in a beard.

I'm betting it's actually Dario in disguise. I feel like they could have made it a little less obvious if they wanted him to be a new character, especially with the voice, but maybe I'm overestimating Luis Fernandez Gil's acting chops.

Uncle Ulty
Dec 12, 2006

Represent.
Honestly I can't decide which would be more Lucha Underground - whether it's meant to be a whole new character or if it's just Dario in disguise. Either way it's amazing.

Alastor_the_Stylish
Jul 25, 2006

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

It would be great if they use TV magic and it turns out that Dario faked his death, but Papa is actually his real father and a different guy and they reunite and explain how Matanza is his brother and what happened to Mrs. Cueto.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

Alastor_the_Stylish posted:

It would be great if they use TV magic and it turns out that Dario faked his death, but Papa is actually his real father and a different guy and they reunite and explain how Matanza is his brother and what happened to Mrs. Cueto.

Mrs. Cueto is also played by Dario.

Writer Cath fucked around with this message at 04:00 on Jun 17, 2018

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I clocked out in Season 3 and totally lost the thread. Is this new one worth jumping back into?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

There's only been one show so far, and Dario is dead (or faked his death) and been replaced by his father (or possibly Dario dressed as his dad) and he's moved the temple to an old house he's been storing beer in for the last couple decades, and stole the key to Matanza's cage from Dario's casket and announced Pentagon will be defending the title against his ONLY son Matanza next week so in short... the fun soap opera weirdness is still there at least.

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

they changed the ropes too and now modelo is a sponsor :)

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames

Writer Cath posted:

Mrs. Cueto is also played by Dario.
Jeff Cobb debuts in LU under his real name, then Matanza unmasks and he's also been Dario the whole time.

Flinger
Oct 16, 2012

Darios all the way down

Uncle Ulty
Dec 12, 2006

Represent.
The metal detector goes off as you enter the venue:

Security Guard: "HOLD ON!!"

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


What's a big bad steve

Oh, hey Jack Swagger

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

Flinger posted:

Darios all the way down

Finale reveals that everyone is Dario. Taya, Paul London, Luchasaurus, they've all been manifestations of his love of violence.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


Good for Swagger. I'm glad he's over.

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

I'm becom-, I'm becom-,
I'm becoming
Tana in, Tana in my mind.



I've missed the Beautiful Brenda.

Xerzes
May 16, 2012


How does Rey Horus not get more indy bookings

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Xerzes posted:

How does Rey Horus not get more indy bookings

Hopefully we get to see him in CMLL now that they're booking freelancers who work AAA

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Pinwiz11 posted:

I've missed the Beautiful Brenda.

I like that double-take where Mack is all, "She's hot... but the gently caress is wrong with her?"

LupusAter
Sep 5, 2011

So, based on the ending with Matanza we can say that Antonio is definitely not Dario, right? Not that it means something about Dario not coming back, since as this episode reminded us time travel and resurrection are both very real possibilities.

AKA Driver
Apr 5, 2004
To the bubblecraft! Set control to hypochondria!

LupusAter posted:

So, based on the ending with Matanza we can say that Antonio is definitely not Dario, right? Not that it means something about Dario not coming back, since as this episode reminded us time travel and resurrection are both very real possibilities.

I'm pretty sure we saw a shot in the first episode with Agent Winter where both Dario is in the casket and Antonio is standing over it, yeah?

The Lore Bear
Jan 21, 2014

I don't know what to put here. Guys? GUYS?!

AKA Driver posted:

I'm pretty sure we saw a shot in the first episode with Agent Winter where both Dario is in the casket and Antonio is standing over it, yeah?

what if it was a fake dario? a fario?

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


It's his other brother Daluigi.

LupusAter
Sep 5, 2011

AKA Driver posted:

I'm pretty sure we saw a shot in the first episode with Agent Winter where both Dario is in the casket and Antonio is standing over it, yeah?

A fake corpse wouldn't be that farfetched, to be fair.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames

LupusAter posted:

A fake corpse wouldn't be that farfetched, to be fair.
All we need now is a segment where someone wearing a Matanza mask says "I finally did it, Dario. I screwed your brains out."

LvK
Feb 27, 2006

FIVE STARS!!

thelazyblank posted:

what if it was a fake dario? a fario?

Dario is alive, the man in the coffin is some b-list actor named Luis Fernandez-Gil oh SHIIIIIIIIIT

Nehru the Damaja
May 20, 2005

It's so weird. They bent kayfabe in the other direction with something that's so fake we can't tell if we're supposed to know.

I really hope they get better lighting. The new temple is weirdly clean but with much shittier lighting.

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Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
Yeah the in-ring lighting is distracting. Like every match is a Sin Cara match.

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