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Lord Dudeguy
Sep 17, 2006
[Insert good English here]

Thanks Ants posted:

But maybe it's time to just flag every external email with a massive "this was sent from outside the company" banner.

Just prefix the subject with "EXTERNAL". People will ignore it just as fast, but complain half as much.

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sloshmonger
Mar 21, 2013

Thanks Ants posted:

Mimecast can sync with your AD and flag stuff with the "from" name set to people in your directory

https://www.mimecast.com/content/ceo-fraud

Unless you have it set to only flag those emails that match 2 of the criteria, and spammers only send stuff flagging on one of them.

hihifellow
Jun 17, 2005

seriously where the fuck did this genre come from
One of my coworkers at my new job told me the story of how they used to not have any spam filters in place, and that people would spend 15-20 minutes in the morning just cleaning out spam. He saw how much time people were wasting on this and puts in the first spam filter, which does a pretty good job and cuts out almost all of it.

It took a while for the "I'm not getting any email" tickets to die down.

tomapot
Apr 7, 2005
Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.
Oven Wrangler
After a few email exchanges where a client was not responding to my support team lead and then not following the instructions she was provided, she refused help, then replied "GO AWAY".

Lord Dudeguy
Sep 17, 2006
[Insert good English here]
User is frustrated that she can't log into an iPhone app. She's getting locked out.

In one stream of words: "I know I'm typing my password in correctly. Don't patronize me. I don't need any help. Where are my glasses? I can't see what I'm typing. I hope nobody pulls me over when I drive home. Can you help me when I get home?"

Zereth
Jul 9, 2003



Weedle posted:

This is how the headmaster of the school started his email to the staff announcing one of my colleagues’ new job title, Leader of Learning Initiatives.


:stonk:

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004
College Slice

hihifellow posted:

One of my coworkers at my new job told me the story of how they used to not have any spam filters in place, and that people would spend 15-20 minutes in the morning just cleaning out spam. He saw how much time people were wasting on this and puts in the first spam filter, which does a pretty good job and cuts out almost all of it.

It took a while for the "I'm not getting any email" tickets to die down.

A couple years ago a relatively tech savvy friend posted on FB about how email is totally inefficient and out dated, asking how anyone can be expected to sort through hundreds of spam emails every day, and demanding to know why businesses still use it or how anything ever gets done. I replied suggesting that he put in a ticket with whoever manages his company's email because that's not normal. He blocked me and I haven't heard from him since.
:smith:

Che Delilas
Nov 23, 2009
FREE TIBET WEED
Teach you to ruin somebody's hot take.

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



An email from a client came in with the subject line "I am very depressed".

It's all I can do to not reply to it with the "bitch, me too, the gently caress" gif.

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

You're gonna feel even worse if something happens to that person.

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



The body of the email was bitching that we *gasp* charge extra for additional services, so. :v:

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

I went to a pre-sales meeting and we got a bill for the project managers time and a line item for the soda I drank. They were trying to sell us on a project. We did not go with them.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


lmao

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

So we got those cool triple pods in our engineering department, and we bought 3 of them yet we only filled 2 of the 3 desks. Like there isn't actually a desk in one of the spots.

"We can just add them in the future as we grow"

Well why didn't you just buy 2 pods and fill them 100%? You're never going to buy another desk for those.

Guess what! Those bitches want to add an engineering intern. Starts in 3 weeks.

Asked the engineering manager (also the owner's kid who's in charge of furniture/remodeling even though I end up doing all the work), "So, can you order a desk for the pod where the other interns are?"

He replies, "Why? Can't you just put a regular desk up there?"

I said, "We could...but we're already wired in the pods, we'd have to run new wire to wherever you guys want the desk. Can't we just do this the right way? The whole plan was to add another desk in the pod once we hired more people"

He replies with "It's only temporary she will be leaving in the spring"

Then I said "do you leave your clothes on the floor and tell your wife it's only temporary? That doesn't make any sense."

Then he says, "Just put a small round desk from downstairs in the pod. It takes 6-8 weeks to order a new desk and they start in 3 weeks. It's fine for an intern."

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

GreenNight posted:

I went to a pre-sales meeting and we got a bill for the project managers time and a line item for the soda I drank. They were trying to sell us on a project. We did not go with them.
I will never understand the mentality behind poo poo like this. Even if they had the best product a stunt like that would make me tell them to gently caress off.

I bet it has its root in an owner that demands 100% of time be billable.

Jaded Burnout
Jul 10, 2004


GreenNight posted:

I went to a pre-sales meeting and we got a bill for the project managers time and a line item for the soda I drank. They were trying to sell us on a project. We did not go with them.

Did you pay it?

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Yeah, we paid it and never went with them again. $5 for a soda, get the gently caress out of here.

We were shopping for a new Cisco partner. That's a lot of god drat cash they missed out on. Cheap assholes.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


Did you frame the invoice

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


gotta invoice them for your billing department's time

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

Should have counterbilled them for your time at the same rate, and add in $5 for travel expenses.

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

gotta invoice them for your billing department's time

Collateral Damage posted:

Should have counterbilled them for your time at the same rate, and add in $5 for travel expenses.

I would have absolutely done that

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Bob Morales posted:

Scammers are getting good. Forged an email to our purchasing agent from our CEO:

Turns out she bought them and didn't put the ticket in until after she figured out it was a scam



:lol:

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


If you're responding to "email@atnt-wireless.com" and they tell you to go and buy $900 of iTunes vouchers which you do, then there is no email feature that is going to save you, other than perhaps not having an account.

ChubbyThePhat
Dec 22, 2006

Who nico nico needs anyone else
Yeah there's basically no saving that situation.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

@atnt-wireless

SENT FROM FROM MY SPRINT 4G WIRELESS DEVICE

sloshmonger
Mar 21, 2013

Bob Morales posted:

@atnt-wireless

SENT FROM FROM MY SPRINT 4G WIRELESS DEVICE

That is my favorite part

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


GreenNight posted:

I went to a pre-sales meeting and we got a bill for the project managers time and a line item for the soda I drank. They were trying to sell us on a project. We did not go with them.

Still not as good as this invoice:

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!
So a ticket came in:

Requestor : can you set this field as mandatory in our app?
Me: sure
*Comes in on Sunday during outage window to do it*

Today

Requestor: I wanted the field to be mandatory, I didn't want to have to fill it out every time.



Probation is over, time for desk scotch to begin

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Did you ask him what he thought mandatory meant?

Did he want it predefaulted?

blackswordca
Apr 25, 2010

Just 'cause you pour syrup on something doesn't make it pancakes!

Kurieg posted:

Did you ask him what he thought mandatory meant?

Did he want it predefaulted?

I have a meeting scheduled to define mandatory..

Silly me to have gone by the standard English definition..

Oh large corporations, how I missed you..

blackswordca fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Jun 19, 2018

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

blackswordca posted:

I have a meeting scheduled to define mandatory..

Silly me to have gone by the standard English definition..

Oh large corporations, how I missed you..

In your heart, you know the result will be that the field is 'mandatory', just not required.

Thanks Ants
May 21, 2004

#essereFerrari


The field should automatically populate with the correct information

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Just put an asterisk next to it

Jaded Burnout
Jul 10, 2004


No, put a red asterisk next to all optional fields

rafikki
Mar 8, 2008

I see what you did there. (It's pretty easy, since ducks have a field of vision spanning 340 degrees.)

~SMcD


It should be mandatory for other people just not him

Geemer
Nov 4, 2010



It's just one field. Child's play, really. You're an expert, aren't you?

SyNack Sassimov
May 4, 2006

Let the robot win.
            --Captain James T. Vader


Geemer posted:

It's just one field. Child's play, really. You're an expert, aren't you?

You're completely right, it HAS been far too long since I've watched this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg

CitizenKain
May 27, 2001

That was Gary Cooper, asshole.

Nap Ghost

Super Soaker Party! posted:

You're completely right, it HAS been far too long since I've watched this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg


I don't know how people got through shooting that without losing it.

duz
Jul 11, 2005

Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost


Jaded Burnout posted:

No, put a red asterisk next to all optional fields

Red asterisk pff, turn it into a red bordered box that doesn't look like any other input.

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Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

"Hi Everybody!"

Super Soaker Party! posted:

You're completely right, it HAS been far too long since I've watched this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg

Oh god, there's MORE OF THEM now :magical:.

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