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TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

Kanfy posted:

100% agreed

And that section should be the front page.

of stile project

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SardonicTyrant
Feb 26, 2016

BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&



The Cheshire Cat posted:

Well drat, I'm sold.
Pretty sure the original description of Cave Story was something like "Find your way through the caves to the end."

So you should clearly expect that level of quality.

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005

quote:

The game is about the story of a 35 year-old Jacob Helten and more specifically with his experiences after Claire’s serious injury to a car accident.

Come play a game. About what? About a story.

The story is about a 35 year-old Jacob Helton. Just a generic one, though. There are lots of Jacob Helton around, and this one happens to be thirty-five.

The game is about the story of a noun, and more specifically, the game is about with his... wait a minute.

*raises hand* Who's Claire, and why did she injure a car accident?

Shut up, Timmy. The Storyline Team has spoken.


Edit:

quote:

At this point, a dark journey begins, in a mysterious distant place, where soon the central character will understand that the disappearance of his wife is nothing more than a small incident of a puzzle that has yet to be unfolded. Soon he will find himself entangled in a game for harsh players, full of hatred, fear and intrigue, which although he is not the center, he is forced to adapt and survive, or at least he thinks so…

"So, next up the central character is gonna take a journey, starting somewhere far away from where he is. Now, this character is going to learn that..."

*raises hand* So he goes far away and starts his journey?

"No, he's just there, he's already there, far away, distant from where he currently... shut up, Timmy. Anyway, the character is going to learn that his wife is..."

"Is actually Claire?"

"I think so. Let's pretend that she is, okay?" *Timmy nods.*

"So anyway, like I was saying... his wife is just an incident. A small one. A puzzle incident that hasn't unfolded yet and..."

*raises hand* "What kind of puzzle do you have to unfold, anyway? And what does incident have to do with--"

"Be quiet. And even though he's not the center of this game..."

"But you said he was the central character!"

"He is, just not--"

"So is Claire not his wife after all? You said central character's wife, and Jacob's not the central character. I'm confused."

"The Storyline Team has spoken, Timmy."

Sundae fucked around with this message at 05:44 on Jun 21, 2018

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA



:getout:

Glagha
Oct 13, 2008

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAaaAAAaaAAaAA
AAAAAAAaAAAAAaaAAA
AAAA
AaAAaaA
AAaaAAAAaaaAAAAAAA
AaaAaaAAAaaaaaAA

Remember that Stardew mod to make Maru whiter? Good times. I love gamers.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Glagha posted:

Remember that Stardew mod to make Maru whiter? Good times. I love gamers.

White CJ from GTA San Andreas springs to mind.

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches
https://help.steampowered.com/en/accountdata/AccountSpend

this is terrible games stuff

Schubalts
Nov 26, 2007

People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

McSpanky posted:

White CJ from GTA San Andreas springs to mind.

Or the whitening mods for multiple characters across the Dragon Age franchise.

mycot
Oct 23, 2014

"It's okay. There are other Terminators! Just give us this one!"
Hell Gem

This seems like a bad deal.

eukara
Aug 5, 2014

Do you believe in life after bomb?

McSpanky posted:

White CJ from GTA San Andreas springs to mind.

Ha, I think the cheap Hasselhoff edit for GTA Knight Rider was based off that one.

BattleMaster
Aug 14, 2000

The Skeleton King posted:

At the very least, cordon off the obvious trash games to their own specific section of the store. Put visual novels and anime filth in their own section as well. There’s no reason those should be sharing the same space as actual games from developers who put at least a little effort into their work.

Does this also include RPG Maker? Because if so loving sold

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747
Fate/stay night is literally longer, by word count, than loving War and Peace. by a large margin.

there are many bad things you can say about VNs but they absolutely do take effort to make in most cases.

Lunethex
Feb 4, 2013

Me llamo Sarah Brandolino, the eighth Castilian of this magnificent marriage.


step aside, bad rats

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


LORD OF BOOTY posted:

Fate/stay night is literally longer, by word count, than loving War and Peace. by a large margin.

there are many bad things you can say about VNs but they absolutely do take effort to make in most cases.

The Story of the Vivian Girls is literally a hundred times longer, but you won't hear me praise Henry Darger's work ethic either.

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Wait, that's too up my own rear end, let me try again.

"Well, they certainly take a lot of effort to read!!"

Dark_Swordmaster
Oct 31, 2011
Hold on, let me find a link to a lorum ipsum generator where you just put in a number.

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

Lunethex posted:



step aside, bad rats

m'pony

Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week
Back before greenlight when valve had started putting independent games onto steam in the 100% manual, someone-at-valve-likes-your-game method, they were floating a couple of ideas for how to move forward. One of them was to allow other people to set up some kinda independent storefronts on steam. So your game would be in the steam client after someone bought it, and valve would be your payment processor & file distributor. But you'd have to get people to go to ghetto.steampowered.com/animetitties/ or something like that to buy your game rather than being on the front page store.

I think there were multiple reasons they didn't do that, but one of them was that nobody wanted to be in a ghetto after the success that some titles had from the main store.

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

Lunethex posted:



step aside, bad rats

Terrible Awful Games Thread: Including the colourful ponies.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

Doc Hawkins posted:

The Story of the Vivian Girls is literally a hundred times longer, but you won't hear me praise Henry Darger's work ethic either.

I should probably note it's also a decentish urban fantasy novel with some legitimately amazing bits, and not the insane ramblings of 1800s Chris-Chan. Like, if it were a dead-tree book and not an ebook with a PC game shell around it, it'd probably have done pretty okay in the US market; in Japan it's already insanely hot poo poo to the point where there's been like five separate anime adaptations and three theatrical movies.

WeedlordGoku69 fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Jun 23, 2018

SardonicTyrant
Feb 26, 2016

BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&



Lunethex posted:



step aside, bad rats
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKkA7JJS6bM

SardonicTyrant fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Jun 23, 2018

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


LORD OF BOOTY posted:

I should probably note it's also a decentish urban fantasy novel with some legitimately amazing bits, and not the insane ramblings of 1800s Chris-Chan. Like, if it were a dead-tree book and not an ebook with a PC game shell around it, it'd probably have done pretty okay in the US market; in Japan it's already insanely hot poo poo to the point where there's been like five separate anime adaptations and three theatrical movies.

I've read enough of Nasu's stuff to find the comparison with Darger to be more accurate than you're allowing. To be honest, I didn't mean it as an insult: that's the part of it I like. But commercial success is a terrible reason to respect something.

Dareon
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin

Palpek posted:

Well, at least Bad Mojo is on Steam. That one's a classic.

From 30 pages back, but holy gently caress, thank you. I have been looking for that game since 1998.

Rollersnake
May 9, 2005

Please, please don't let me end up in a threesome with the lunch lady and a gay pirate. That would hit a little too close to home.
Unlockable Ben
This thread actually inspired me to resume working on a RPG/Visual Novel/whatever the gently caress it's going to be that I gave up on a few years ago because making games is hard. Because however much it ends up sucking, it could not possibly be as bad as some of the stuff that actually gets released on Steam.

SardonicTyrant
Feb 26, 2016

BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&



I have some butt-themed suggestions to improve your work.

Dareon
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin
So hey, I actually have content for the thread. Montaro. On the one, non-lovely hand, it's a cute, simple, sedately-paced endless runner.

On the other...

quote:

- Lift up highschool girl's skirts, protect your doge by panties.
- Collect Doge coins to unlock over 8 Doge costumes.

It's entirely given over to memes and my initial impression of it went south when I got two achievements before hitting Start. Most of the achievements seem to be related to buying new costumes. I unlocked a husky disguise and got a Moon Moon joke.

Anyway, it's not as terrible as it could be, which in this thread deserves some kind of trophy. If you wanna blow a buck on something cute, though, I'd recommend The :catstare: Games.

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 12, 2015

by Cyrano4747

Doc Hawkins posted:

I've read enough of Nasu's stuff to find the comparison with Darger to be more accurate than you're allowing. To be honest, I didn't mean it as an insult: that's the part of it I like. But commercial success is a terrible reason to respect something.

Oh, if you just mean it in the sense that they're weird shut-ins who write really bonkers doorstoppers, then that's totally fair. But then, the same critique applies to GRRM, who just spent several years as the Nerd Pope. :v:

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


In all three cases there is also, to use the technical term, some "not-great gender poo poo."

DACK FAYDEN
Feb 25, 2013

Bear Witness

Dareon posted:

I unlocked a husky disguise and got a Moon Moon joke.
you got Moon Moon :(

FirstAidKite
Nov 8, 2009
I'm going to link a bad-looking video game where you are a dairy farmer who must raise their cow and give their cow the best treatment so that the cow will win prizes at local festivals and, more importantly, produce the finest milk for selling to people. Have fun.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/851030/

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

is there anything anime can't ruin?

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

FirstAidKite posted:

I'm going to link a bad-looking video game where you are a dairy farmer who must raise their cow and give their cow the best treatment so that the cow will win prizes at local festivals and, more importantly, produce the finest milk for selling to people. Have fun.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/851030/

Lol

quote:



George
Our heroic protagonist and the victim of outrageous misfortune. Can he turn his life around and find the love he dreams of?

SardonicTyrant
Feb 26, 2016

BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&



I'll be disappointed if the actual Mega Milk outfit isn't an unlockable.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






milk milk, lemonade
around the corner
hideous anime games are made

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

So is the cow-lady a fully sapient lactation slave, or is she animal-minded and just coincidentally shaped like a person? ... I can't actually figure out which of those options are creepier.

CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER
Not the actual Titty Monster, unliked, unfavourited, unsubscribed.

BattleMaster
Aug 14, 2000

Antivehicular posted:

So is the cow-lady a fully sapient lactation slave, or is she animal-minded and just coincidentally shaped like a person? ... I can't actually figure out which of those options are creepier.

Yeah there's no winning with the literal cow girl concept.

Black Mage Knight
Jan 25, 2012

stop biting my cape

Antivehicular posted:

So is the cow-lady a fully sapient lactation slave, or is she animal-minded and just coincidentally shaped like a person? ... I can't actually figure out which of those options are creepier.

Maybe she is into it? Don't kink shame her.

(This is all very gross)

For some reason that Montaro game is the most disappointing thing to me. It has actually very cute pixel art, but it just feels so wasted.

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FirstAidKite
Nov 8, 2009

Antivehicular posted:

So is the cow-lady a fully sapient lactation slave, or is she animal-minded and just coincidentally shaped like a person? ... I can't actually figure out which of those options are creepier.

quote:

Although Chichi appear human-like, they are primarily kept for their milk production. Chichi owners can, for a fee, compete on a national level at Chichi Competitions. There, they send their Chichi to compete in beauty, skill, and talent. Those who do well are rewarded with prizes and fame. But more important than prizes is rank. A higher rank is a great honor for a Chichi trainer, and the highest ranked Chichi can produce the ultra valuable Mega Milk.

Seems like they may very well be sentient but not necessarily sapient

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