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TL posted:This reminds me of a story Mick Foley tells in his first book where he worked for a promoter who booked acts such as “Buck Hogan”, taught some twelve year olds to walk bow legged so he could use them as midget wrestlers, and put Cactus Jack in a tag team as one of the South Sea Islanders. When Mick objected, the promoter told him he could still be Cactus Jack, but they’d announce him as being from Tonga. "Buck Hogan", like Hulk's imperfect clone or dollar-store ripoff "well allow me to explain to you something, mister Okerlund" 
SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 14:43 on Jul 2, 2018 |
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Jul 2, 2018 14:40
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Diabolik900 posted:This has already been answered, but since I just found this recently and it's now relevant, here is Shawn Michaels first theme song during his singles run. It's an odd choice. ...well that's pretty much the most non-Shawn Michaels theme ever. It doesn't even fit his character here, which was basically the villain from a 90s teen movie
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Jul 2, 2018 14:55
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Diabolik900 posted:This has already been answered, but since I just found this recently and it's now relevant, here is Shawn Michaels first theme song during his singles run. It's an odd choice. As someone in the comments points out (first time YT comments have ever been useful?), this is basically Rhapsody in Blue. WHY it's Rhapsody in Blue I have no idea.
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Jul 2, 2018 15:12
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Thanks for sending this thread gold, guys. Not sure how long it's been there but I only just noticed 
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Jul 2, 2018 15:56
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Rarity posted:Thanks for sending this thread gold, guys. Not sure how long it's been there but I only just noticed You're a real gem.
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Jul 2, 2018 16:23
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This is the best wrestling thread, I hope it doesn’t end.
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Jul 2, 2018 16:45
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SatansOnion posted:"Buck Hogan", like Hulk's imperfect clone or dollar-store ripoff "Bulkamania will jog relentlessly upon you and drop the Large Femur across your cranium, SIBLING"
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Jul 2, 2018 17:27
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sbaldrick posted:This is the best wrestling thread, I hope it doesn’t end. 
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Jul 3, 2018 01:05
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Jul 3, 2018 01:26
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There is no natural endpoint for this thread because Hulkamania will live forever 
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Jul 3, 2018 16:31
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I disagree, the Undertaker just put him 6 feet down, and he just doesn't know he's dead yet. Things are turning around, Hulkamania is too dead, keep on trucking, give more time to this strange unnameable force cause this thread is made of gold.
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Jul 3, 2018 16:39
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Coming out next is #7 El Matador and he goes right after Flair as he gets to the ring. However, Shawn gets on his back and lays in a beating which Heenan describes as Shawn “making guacamole” out of Tito. It must be really easy to commentate a Tito match, just throw in a few references to Mexican things and Roberto's your uncle. Flair nails Bulldog with a low blow but doesn't have the energy to get him over the top and then he eats the Flying Forearm from Tito. With #8 The Barbarian coming out next that signals the end of the early excitement and the beginning of the brawling and rope-hugging. #9 The Texas Tornado is the next man out and he connects with the Tornado Punch to Shawn. When the countdown next reaches zero #10 Repo Man comes hurtling out through the curtains like he's the goddam Hamburglar, it's amazing. Man, who would ever have guessed that Smash from Demolition would turn out to be the company's best comedy midcarder? Tito hits a crossbody on the Barbarian but most of the action has died out now. #11 Greg Valentine, who somehow still has a job, is the next man out and he goes after Flair with some serious chops. #12 Nikolai Volkoff shows up as well and this run of jobbers is really making things start to drag.  Greg is Flair if he had a very unactive thyroid In a nice moment Greg gets Flair down on the mat and locks on the Figure 4. Ok, as much grief as deservingly give Greg I do like that he got that in. The guy's been using that finisher since the start of the thread, it makes sense that he wants to boss Flair about with it. Repo Man lifts Volkoff over and out as #13 Big Bossman bursts through the curtain and pegs it to the ring. Oh my god guys, I suddenly want a Bossman/Repo Man feud so bad. Those two characters would play off it each other so well. You've got the cartoon criminal and the lawman fooling his schemes, that poo poo writes itself. They're actually making Repo Man look quite strong here as he tosses Greg out as well but then he gets dumped out himself by who could it possibly be? None other than Bossman! Oh come on, please please please WWF you know this would be good. Now that the ring has filled up it's time for it to start shrinking down as Bulldog squares off with Flair only for Flair to lift him up over his shoulder and out. For Bulldog being in there the longest and how strong he started out that felt very anticlimatic. Flair drops Kerry out as well while Shawn and Tito go tumbling over the top rope together. I guess seeing a dude who betrayed his tag partner just triggered Tito. (Don't think about it J-Ru! That was years ago now!) This means #14 Fatter Herc' enters to a rather reduced field. Hmm, there's something about Fatter Herc's tights that look familiar.   It's always sad to see someone fail to move on after a break-up We're beginning to reach the point where Flair's stint in the match is becoming noteworthy. He tries to fake the Barbarian out with some dirty tricks but it doesn't work and he eats a Gorilla press slam. The Barbarian tries to tip Flair out but Fatter Herc' pushes him over the top rope while Flair manages to save himself on the apron. Then not a second later Bossman charges and clotheslines Fatter Herc' out as well. Flair thinks Bossman's gone as well which means he's all alone in the ring so he begins to celebrate but then he turns around to see Bossman giving him a big cartoony finger wag. Bossman connects with a big clothesline and goes for a crossbody but Flair ducks and he goes flying over the top rope. The last man still in the match, Flair gets to his feet in the middle of the ring and immediately flops down in exhaustion. Haha, that was sheer perfection. To be fair, I've got to give Flair some serious props for his performance in this match so far. He's looking drat great out there. Now with Flair down on the mat all we can do is wait with baited breath to see who's going to be the next man out and the tension grows as the countdown begins. 3... 2... 1... it's...  AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! loving #15 Rowdy Roddy Piper charges to the ring and starts going on nuts on Flair as the crowd loses its mind. This is so brilliant. They slide under the ropes and fight on the outside then back in the ring Piper no-sells a Manhattan drop and pokes Flair in the eyes. He follows up with an airplane spin while Heenan is distraught on commentary. This loving rules. Piper locks on a sleeper hold like the one that beat the Mountie as #16 Jake “The Snake” Roberts runs down to the ring. Jake arrives and just sits in the corner so that Piper can keep taking it to Flair but then as soon as Piper turns his back Jake jumps him. What a dickbag. The crowd's chanting hard for “RODDY” while Flair asks Jake for help but for his troubles he just ends up getting hit by...  THE RAINMAAAAAAAKERRRRRR Jake goes for the DDT but Piper takes him out with a clothesline. Flair locks on the Figure 4 on Jake and grabs hold of the top rope for extra leverage. Everything is getting real awesome right now so obviously this is the right time to send out #17 Hacksaw Jim Duggan. My hype deflates faster than the UK economy after Brexit. While the crowd chants “USA” for Hacksaw over on commentary Gino points out that Flair's not been hiding from a fight and he's absolutely right. So far Flair's done a great job of backing up his real World champion claims. #18 Irwin R. Schyster indicates that we are well and truly back to the brawling phase and that means my dude is up next. Who do I get this year? It's... #19 Jimmy Snuka? Welp, it was fun while it lasted. Go Snuka, I guess? Snuka gets to the ring and displays some fine brawling action. Top work, lad. And then #20 The Undertaker shows up and immediately dumps him out. I think that must be the worst Rumble showing my pick has had so far. Taker turns his attentions to Flair and chokes him out while Heenan moans that “everything is down the toilet”. It could be worse, dude. At least you didn't randomly wind up having to support Jimmy Snuka.  More disappointing than the time I got Goldust The next entrant is #21 Randy Savage who gets huge cheers as he comes running to the ring for Jake but Jake spots him coming and slides to the outside where he hides behind the ring. Very nice smart thinking there. Savage winds up being caught by Taker so Jake comes back in and goes for the Rainmaker but Savage ducks and replies with a double axe handle. That's not enough for Savage though so he jumps over the top rope to keep up the beatdown on the outside and totally eliminates himself. Hahaha, awesome. But hang on a moment, it looks likes this spot might not have been as planned as Savage made it look. Taker goes outside to get Savage and he drags him back into the match. Heenan claims that this is fine because somebody else needs to throw you over the top rope. Sir, I call foul play! I remember that time Andre took himself out the Rumble cause he was running away from Damien. With Savage back in the ring the match resumes as if nothing has happened. Flair connects with a low blow on Taker but his balls are just as dead as the rest of him because it has little effect. The next entrant is #22 The Berzerker and my understanding is that this dude's finisher is throwing his opponent over the top rope so surely that makes this guy a solid lock for favourite? Flair gets caught on the apron where he tries to deliver a suplex to Savage but Savage reverses and nails a suplex back into the ring. Piper presses the advantage by choking Flair so Taker comes along and chokes Piper as well in a chokehold daisy chain. Ah, that looks like my Friday nights.
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Jul 3, 2018 17:38
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Valentine and Flair were two time NWA World Tag Team Champions, had similar looks with the bleach blonde hair and fancy robes, and similar moves (the Figure Four, the Face Plant bump), so watching them square off was fun.
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Jul 3, 2018 18:08
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Looking back on it it's amazing that they had Ric actually carry the action up this point in the Rumble and he's very much fighting...like a babyface overcoming the odds
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Jul 3, 2018 18:13
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This section also had one of my favourite Heenan moments: *Piper saves Ric from Jake* "Thank you Hot Rod, and I'm gonna say it's a kilt, not a skirt." *Piper turns and hits Ric* "YOU SKIRT WEARING CREEP!"
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Jul 3, 2018 18:25
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Also "There's the Barbarian, he doesn't like anyone. He didn't like me and I managed him."
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Jul 3, 2018 18:58
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IIRC Flair and Greg had feuded in the Carolinas ages ago, hence them going after each other here.
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Jul 3, 2018 19:11
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Flair had just handed Piper his first pinfall loss since Jimmy Snuka a couple months prior to this too, so they had animosity
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Jul 3, 2018 19:19
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DeathChicken posted:Flair had just handed Piper his first pinfall loss since Jimmy Snuka a couple months prior to this too, so they had animosity Ok, that makes sense. Since it is hard to find any non-PPV stuff from that era, I was always curious to know what their beef was.
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Jul 3, 2018 19:21
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUWvA6aDG-Q https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ore4mR23aFk
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Jul 3, 2018 19:23
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One addition to the rules that I'm not sure they mentioned during the show is that since this whole situation came out of Hogan and Undertaker screwing each other out of the title, the two of them got the advantage of drawing from 20-30. A nice kayfabe explanation for why they were both in so late in the match. And yeah, Berzerker's deal was that not only would he destroy jobbers, but instead of pinning them, he'd just throw them out of the ring and let the ref count them out.
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Jul 3, 2018 20:46
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Gavok posted:One addition to the rules that I'm not sure they mentioned during the show is that since this whole situation came out of Hogan and Undertaker screwing each other out of the title, the two of them got the advantage of drawing from 20-30. A nice kayfabe explanation for why they were both in so late in the match. I always felt that there was a place for a guy who would just basically use the count out to get KO wins, but it never really seemed to work, or really ever be part of a serious gimmick.
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Jul 3, 2018 20:48
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remusclaw posted:I always felt that there was a place for a guy who would just basically use the count out to get KO wins, but it never really seemed to work, or really ever be part of a serious gimmick. It's kind of a dead-end gimmick since you can't win titles with countout wins, so you either have to rely on a face being stupid enough to agree to a stipulation that lets it change hands, or they just kind of stall out.
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Jul 3, 2018 20:58
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Endless Mike posted:It's kind of a dead-end gimmick since you can't win titles with countout wins, so you either have to rely on a face being stupid enough to agree to a stipulation that lets it change hands, or they just kind of stall out. King Kong Bundy (and later NXT Big E) found a nice compromise.
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Jul 3, 2018 21:06
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It would probably fit more where that rule is not in place, but even then it would likely feel a cop out if a belt where to change hands in that manner.
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Jul 3, 2018 21:08
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Endless Mike posted:It's kind of a dead-end gimmick since you can't win titles with countout wins, so you either have to rely on a face being stupid enough to agree to a stipulation that lets it change hands, or they just kind of stall out. Plus having the crowd sit there for a ten count is boring
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Jul 4, 2018 00:25
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The crowd losing their minds as Piper charged the ring was so loving greatManic_Misanthrope posted:This section also had one of my favourite Heenan moments: 
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Jul 4, 2018 02:29
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Rarity posted:
So 12 year old me is raging mad at you for not recognizing Superfly’s greatness right now!
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Jul 4, 2018 02:39
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The Valentine and Piper stuff is a reminder that Flair's run to this point could have had way more heat if the WWE just recognized that Flair had feuded with both before in the NWA.
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Jul 4, 2018 03:04
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On that note, that is a really cool match above with Piper vs Flair. Flair gets him with a stealth eye poke at one point while he was in the middle of doing other stuff, and it's just like "Wow, it's quality cheating when you can barely notice it happened"
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Jul 4, 2018 03:23
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Nystral posted:So 12 year old me is raging mad at you for not recognizing Superfly’s greatness right now! I hope 40 year old you is mad at her for cheering a murderer? And yeah, the Savage spot wasn't the plan, Randy jumps out of the ring by leaping the top rope all the time and forgot this was a battle royal.
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Jul 4, 2018 13:23
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Gaz-L posted:I hope 40 year old you is mad at her for cheering a murderer? I was going to touch on that but wasn’t sure where in the timeline all of that had occurred. Finding that out was sobering to say the least.
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Jul 4, 2018 14:48
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1983, so...um, before this project began
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Jul 4, 2018 14:52
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Nystral posted:I was going to touch on that but wasn’t sure where in the timeline all of that had occurred. Vince: Nothing occurred, I don't know what you're talking about  briefcase mysteriously disappears
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Jul 5, 2018 04:25
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I finally caught up, and I wanted to say that this thread is excellent! I was never really into pre-Attitude era WWF, so seeing this stuff has been really interesting. So far, I think this is my favorite line in this whole project: Rarity posted:But the righteous Gooker will not take no for an answer and so he drags Zombie Mean Gene to the ring while his theme begins to play, like all the cherubs of heaven joined together to do a cover of 'Cotton-Eye Joe'.
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Jul 6, 2018 22:35
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It was "Turkey in the Straw," drat it!
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Jul 6, 2018 23:20
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I was following at the start of the thread and fell off the wagon hard. Finally caught up and I'm glad it's still going strong. I was a super late bloomer to wrestling (Daniel at Wrestlemania 30 was when I finally got into it) so it's crazy to see how strange and good the good stuff is and how terrible the bad stuff is. I can't even imagine a Royal Rumble without theme music.  Also I have a copy of Vegas 14 and some free time if you want someone else to take a crack at that video project. Edit: also, Roddy Piper's "LOOK AT THE SIIIIIZE OF THAT HAM HOCK" from Undertaker's debut is one of my new favorite wrestling moments. God, I did not appreciate Piper like I should have. CascadeBeta fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Jul 9, 2018 |
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Jul 9, 2018 17:44
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Yeah, rereading this stuff just reminded me how much I really liked Piper's run in the early 90s. Blah blah most of his matches went to countout, but that man was a spectacle and whoever he was facing was going to get beaten silly Also it's a little thing, but I always loved how he would not take his eyes off his opponent. Ever. Not during the walk to the ring, not during the introductions.
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Jul 9, 2018 20:37
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Time to blow through a bit of chaff now as #23 Virgil joins us next and I'm not dignifying him with one sentence of my time so let's move straight on to #24 Colonel Shiektafa who follows close behind. The Berzerker hits a piledriver on Virgil while over on commentary Gino gives the UK our first ever shoutout! It's always nice to get a bit of recognition. The countdown starts once more and the next entrant is none other than #25 Rick Martel! He's finally back! Oh, it's been far, far too long. And he's got awesome new 90s hair as well, it's all short and trimmed and fabulous. In a real neat bit of psychology Martel goes straight for Flair because as Gino points out Flair's close to beating his Iron Man record from last year. He doesn't get to keep it up for long though as #26 Hulk Hogan arrives to take all the attention by going straight for both Flair and Taker. Heenan is completely losing it on commentary as he promises to be a different person if Flair wins. Hulk clotheslines Taker out of the ring and lifts the Berzerker up and out as well. Beating a man with his own finisher, that's just cruel. Meanwhile, Hacksaw and Virgil hold onto each other as they tumble over the top rope together. Cause apparently Virgil's so bad he can't even get eliminated from a Rumble by himself.  It's a shame the same can't be said for his work at conventions Just a few more entrants left to get through now with #27 Skinner bringing us one step closer to home as Hulk kicks up his whole no-sell routine under shots from Flair. #28 Sgt. Slaughter follows soon after while Skinner gets easily tossed out by Martel. #29 Sid Justice shows up but over on commentary Gino and Heenan are still fixated on Flair. I swear, they've not talked about anybody else this entire match. This totally makes sense with Heenan's connection to Flair and I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It actually really helps draw out Flair's story in this match. #30 The Warlord closes out the field which means it's time to take this one home. While Hulk and Flair fight it out on the outside Sid is in the ring dispensing the justice for which he is named. He whips Slaughter into the corner who goes up and over and out in a nasty bump for a guy that big. Ouch. This leaves us with eight men left to go as Flair eats a big boot from Hulk. This means times for people to start scarpering so IRS tosses Piper out but Piper lands on the apron and drags him out by the tie. That's what you get for a not wearing a clip-on. Hulk and Sid team up to dump out the Warlord because they are the bestest of buddies and nothing could ever come between them. Piper tries to get Martel over but Sid runs up and shoves both men out. Fair play to Piper, he put in a good showing tonight. This leaves us with a final four of Hulk, Sid, Flair and Savage which is easily the strongest lineup we've seen to close out a Rumble yet. Any of these men would be believable as winners. Sid lifts Savage up on the turnbuckle and Flair comes in with a running knee to Sid that knocks Savage out. Considering he did gently caress all between throwing out Jake and here he probably should have stuck with the self-elimination really. That would have been way more memorable. Hulk and Flair start exchanging chops but all of a sudden Sid sneaks up from behind and eliminates Hulk! Wow, what a dirty no-good heel following the rules of the match! How dare he! So Hulk's on the outside and he is fuming because how dare anybody else ever lay hands on his belt so he grabs Sid's arm to keep him by the ropes and Flair runs in to give him a shove and Sid is done. Flair is the new WWF champion!  “I promise. I'll never let go, Sid. I will never let go.” As soon as Sid spills over Heenan starts going nuts at his guy winning the belt. He abandons the booth to join Flair in celebration and Hennig's showed up from somewhere as well. The three of them head off to break open the champange but this leaves our two runners-up in the ring. Sid is pissed as hell at Hulk and shoves him from behind, leading to officials flooding out from the back to separate them. Sid and Hulk spend ages yelling at each other until Sid eventually gets bored and leaves although he screams “I'll kill you!” on his way out. Wow, I really do not care about this feud. These have got to be the two most dullest wrestlers on the roster. Instead let's talk about happier things as Zombie Mean Gene is backstage with Tunney and the Flair camp for the presentation of the title belt. Tunney offers Flair his congratulations while Flair says this is the greatest moment in his life because the WWF title is what makes you #1 in the world. Oof, nice low blow to WCW there. Heenan has never seen anything like this while Hennig says “we're not the kinda guys to say we told you so but we told you so”. But that means you are the kinda guys who'd say that! Zombie Mean Gene tells a crew member off-camera to put out a cigarette because as we all know fire is one of the few methods to kill the undead. Flair tells the rest of the roster it's time they paid homage to him and Zombie Mean Gene brings the event to a close as he throws us over to the highlights.  I feel like I've seen this photo before somewhere... This was a very good Royal Rumble all held together by an outstanding performance from Flair. By far the best match I've ever seen him be involved with. This match was pretty much just the story of Flair going from (almost) bell to bell and he carried it off with aplomb. I really like that for all the poo poo he's talked that when it came time to deliver in the ring he backed it up and then some. There were also a couple of cool sideshows with the Jake/Savage moment and Piper's entrance which they absolutely nailed. The only downside was how much Hulk/Sid took over things at the ending which does overshadow Flair's win just a touch. But at least this means we get to look forward to the joy of Flair main eventing our upcoming Wrestlemania, right? Right? ...Right? Addendum: I just need to jump in here for a moment because we've got a few more goodbyes to get through. Let's start things off with the Texas Tornado who's hanging up his prosthetic leg. To be honest, I think Kerry turned out to be a bit of a dud. When you look at this era the list of Intercontinental champions is just name after name of success stories. Savage, Steamboat, Warrior, Hennig, Bret and hell even Honky's run was memorable. Kerry is the only blip on the register. He didn't do anything as champion and as soon as he dropped the belt he disappeared. The truth is that him going isn't really going to be noticeable. And then we're also saying farewell to the Warlord which again isn't that big a deal. Ever since the Powers of Pain broke up he's been floating around doing nothing and he was never a good worker so I don't mind this one at all. There's one other man taking their final bow in a WWF ring and I'm talking about none other than Hercules. It's strange because in his first few appearances I really liked him but then he went to seed so fast and stayed there for so long. His time in Power and Glory kinda made him interesting again but despite being on the roster for seven years it was clear they never intended to do anything with him. It really is for the best that he got cut loose now before the decline got even worse. At least this way he'll never be named Fattest Herc'. Thinking about this show as a whole while the Royal Rumble was good the undercard was pretty disappointing. The opening tag match was fun and the Intercontinental match was short but sweet but those other two matches were really draining. There wasn't much story progression or resolution going on either. Aside from Hulk/Sid, Flair and Piper everyone else seems to be caught in a holding pattern. As we head into Wrestlemania it's not clear what most of the card is going to be or even who's going to be contesting for the title. I suppose this could be a good thing because it ensures surprises but I guess we won't know until we get there. As for this show I'm afraid the bad matches drag it down to a measly four Kanes.  /10And one facepalming Kane for Jamison. 
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Jul 9, 2018 20:48
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 22:44 |
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If you want to see Fattest Herc' you can look him up on NJPW World under the Hercules Hernandez tag. Maybe I should mention this match takes place in 1994 and features another wrestler in WWF that hasn't left yet in your timeline so its sort of spoilers?
KungFu Grip fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Jul 9, 2018 |
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Jul 9, 2018 20:54
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