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EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

use edit bitchj

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The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

I'm the tortilla filed neatly for later consumption

Internet Wizard
Aug 9, 2009

BANDAIDS DON'T FIX BULLET HOLES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC1CUl4XcZc

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

One of my coworkers (who's in general terrible at everything at work) has a car like that, but it's even worse because she's a smoker so all the trash smells like cigarettes. She's had to drive me somewhere a few times and I feel like I'm about to get an infestation from the seat.

littlebluellama
Jun 18, 2013

I am kind, brave and deserve love.

chitoryu12 posted:

One of my coworkers (who's in general terrible at everything at work) has a car like that, but it's even worse because she's a smoker so all the trash smells like cigarettes. She's had to drive me somewhere a few times and I feel like I'm about to get an infestation from the seat.

Where do you ride? On top of the trash?

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

littlebluellama posted:

Where do you ride? On top of the trash?

I hope not, it's super unsafe to ride in the driver's lap.

Soysaucebeast
Mar 4, 2008




cash crab posted:

Hey I just want to say "gently caress you" for making this a snipe because everytime I scroll up to see my user CP I end up getting nauseated

Scroll to the bottom! It took me forever to realize there was a bar at both ends of the page.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

littlebluellama posted:

Where do you ride? On top of the trash?

You have to sweep it away, and kick enough out to make room for your feet.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


Ahh, thank you! I can't believe I didn't notice that.

CelticPredator posted:

Here’s another Joey like creature

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5u7q4egVZQ

Go to 7:40

The whole video is a journey.

The breathing sounds and various noises, the strange comments, and the best part, dipping a crust into hot tea

I can't figure out what it is about this particular genre of videos that makes me so sad. Not to get all morose about it, but it sort of reminds me of this weird British documentary series called Supersize vs. Super-Skinny. The general premise is that they make people with varying degrees of eating disorders switch daily meals, and they get hooked up with dietitians later on. Anyways, whenever they interview the obese people, they start with them cataloging all the stuff they eat in a day and the people always look so genuinely excited, and then they're asked, "Okay, sure, but why? Why all this stuff?" and so often the answer is, "Oh. I'm very bored and lonely. Food can't leave me."

I stopped watching it after the episode where they film this woman in a restaurant who is crying because she is so ashamed that she "did it again".

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

My friends and I just took turns reading parts of the anal vore story out loud. For amusement.

I have busted friends. I am busted.

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

cash crab posted:

Ahh, thank you! I can't believe I didn't notice that.


I can't figure out what it is about this particular genre of videos that makes me so sad. Not to get all morose about it, but it sort of reminds me of this weird British documentary series called Supersize vs. Super-Skinny. The general premise is that they make people with varying degrees of eating disorders switch daily meals, and they get hooked up with dietitians later on. Anyways, whenever they interview the obese people, they start with them cataloging all the stuff they eat in a day and the people always look so genuinely excited, and then they're asked, "Okay, sure, but why? Why all this stuff?" and so often the answer is, "Oh. I'm very bored and lonely. Food can't leave me."

I stopped watching it after the episode where they film this woman in a restaurant who is crying because she is so ashamed that she "did it again".

BBC documentary shows are so much better than US ones. The Hoarder Next Door is so much better than American shows with people yelling at the hoarder to get rid of stuff. Speaking of BBC shows,

cash crab posted:

I don't even give a gently caress about how much she's eating, it's lines like "ooey gooey" and watching her almost vomit when presented with vegetables. What a loving child.
I don't agree, children are more mature (it's the mom who's the problem in this one).

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Jordan Peterson drank a glass of cider and couldn't sleep for a month due to the sense of dread it caused him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfoKwQ2Cw6A

e: bonus

https://twitter.com/Nickrob/status/1015686246025211904

EmmyOk has a new favorite as of 21:01 on Jul 8, 2018

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

DicktheCat posted:

My friends and I just took turns reading parts of the anal vore story out loud. For amusement.

I have busted friends. I am busted.

Not as busted as that rear end

walrusman
Aug 4, 2006

Imagine being so out of touch with human behavioral norms that you drew a picture of your grandpa shoving you up his rear end, and you can't understand why this upsets him.

You should probably run it all back again. They just didn't understand the first time!

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Since somebody posted the Gameboy ad last page I might as well post this anecdote:

This kid in my class in elementary school had an ice blue gameboy. He was all show offy with it and thought he was hot poo poo for having an Ice Blue Gameboy. In reality he was just poo poo. Kid poo poo his pants every day. One time he tried to get to the bathroom in time but instead he had a poop fall down the leg of his pants. Then he stepped on it. I'm fairly certain everyone was glad when he got transferred to a different school. After cyberstalking him he's still obsessed with reptiles and is making a career but of it.

TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!

CelticPredator posted:

Maybe. Looks like someone is holding the camera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHqHj7OlJAs

goddamn I fuckin hate people who chew with their goddamn mouth wide open. What the gently caress.

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler

Lmao at the "clear" tongue that's weirdly veiny

text me a vag pic
May 18, 2007




CelticPredator posted:

Maybe. Looks like someone is holding the camera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHqHj7OlJAs

i am SO horned up.

Mr. Snickerdoodles
Nov 19, 2013

walrusman posted:

Imagine being so out of touch with human behavioral norms that you drew a picture of your grandpa shoving you up his rear end, and you can't understand why this upsets him.

You should probably run it all back again. They just didn't understand the first time!

poo poo like this makes me marvel at the power of the internet. I'm sure anal vore fanatics existed before the internet, but it was the type of thing one would be properly ashamed of. It has to be the internet - and pretty much just the internet - responsible for releasing fuckers like this into the world where they feel the need to throw family coming out parties for rear end and gore fetishes.

People say cocaine is a hell of a drug, but from what I've seen, the internet is an even better one.

Also Joey makes me sad. The smile he cracks when he's gulping the gravy shows that there is little else in his life that makes him smile at all. That's a smile usually reserved for parents and their infant children. To see it spread across his meaty cheeks over a tub of gravy is just....sad.

Mr. Snickerdoodles has a new favorite as of 02:29 on Jul 9, 2018

text me a vag pic
May 18, 2007





joe is such a great and accepting dad

whoop whoop

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀


This has led to the creation of one hell of a sentence

The Door Frame
Dec 5, 2011

I don't know man everytime I go to the gym here there are like two huge dudes with raging high and tights snorting Nitro-tech off of each other's rock hard abs.

Picnic Princess posted:

This has led to the creation of one hell of a sentence



Juggalos or Furries?

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

The Door Frame posted:

Juggalos or Furries?

Yes.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
Juggalos are just furries who have clowns as their fursonas

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Screaming Idiot posted:

Juggalos are just furries who have clowns as their fursonas

Oh god, you're right.

Bert Roberge
Nov 28, 2003

Dixville posted:

Lmao at the "clear" tongue that's weirdly veiny

That's the part that grossed me out the most.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

Its my party
and I'll die if
I want to

Bloodborne 2 looking super creepy.

I've worked with so many guys who are like that. like literally one of them had the back of their car full of empty energy drink cans and soda bottles. Again, I am not the neatest person, for some reason I pulled all my army cases out of my closet and still have a stack of banker boxes I'm going to put stuff in, but holy poo poo, I put my garbage in a bag and when its full I put it in the bin.

It was funny when one of the girls I worked with gave me a lift home and she was "i'm so sorry my car is a mess!" and her car was immaculate, in the back was literally just a blanket with a bag of dog food and stuff to clean seats with. That was her mess. I horrified her with the stories of the cars that I had been in.

MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

CelticPredator posted:

Maybe. Looks like someone is holding the camera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHqHj7OlJAs

So yeah I've worked and volunteered at Renaissance faires and the thing about turkey legs, they are rather sinew-y with lots of ligaments, they seem to be really large, and the skin is very thick and chewy. They aren't actually smoked, just soaked in liquid smoke and brine, poached, and then baked in an oven from frozen.

That's because it's emu. The company is called "Turkey Legs".

Fashionable Jorts
Jan 18, 2010

Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you



MageMage posted:

That's because it's emu. The company is called "Turkey Legs".

No they aren't, that's an old urban legend. They're just male turkeys, which are much larger than the female turkeys that most people are used to eating.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/disney-turkey-leg-emu/

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
I always figured they were large rolls of compressed meat processing scraps with a bone or stick in 'em.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

twistedmentat posted:

I've worked with so many guys who are like that. like literally one of them had the back of their car full of empty energy drink cans and soda bottles. Again, I am not the neatest person, for some reason I pulled all my army cases out of my closet and still have a stack of banker boxes I'm going to put stuff in, but holy poo poo, I put my garbage in a bag and when its full I put it in the bin.

I'm not really sure how anyone lets their cars get that bad. I mean in the winter my car will accumulate a couple receipts, and maybe a wrapper or two, but as soon as I have an empty taco bell bag all that poo poo gets stuffed in said bag and thrown out. Of course once the weather gets nicer, I don't even let that stuff accumulate because I like to roll down my windows and I don't want that poo poo getting sucked out.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I always figured they were large rolls of compressed meat processing scraps with a bone or stick in 'em.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Iron Crowned posted:

I'm not really sure how anyone lets their cars get that bad. I mean in the winter my car will accumulate a couple receipts, and maybe a wrapper or two, but as soon as I have an empty taco bell bag all that poo poo gets stuffed in said bag and thrown out. Of course once the weather gets nicer, I don't even let that stuff accumulate because I like to roll down my windows and I don't want that poo poo getting sucked out.

The person I know who's like that is terminally lazy and unmotivated. Even at work she doesn't do very much, but she jealously guards any knowledge of procedures and tries to find excuses not to train people because she's terrified of someone better replacing her.

Which is exactly our plan, yes, because she's actually really bad at the job and keeps causing drama.

text me a vag pic
May 18, 2007




Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I always figured they were large rolls of compressed meat processing scraps with a bone or stick in 'em.

just describing half the posters here.

e:

text me a vag pic has a new favorite as of 14:11 on Jul 9, 2018

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
The South shall rise again, but really slowly and with a lot of weird cracking noises. Then the South shall get a Dr. Pepper out of the kitchen and sit down to watch its stories.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

AlbieQuirky posted:

The South shall rise again, but really slowly and with a lot of weird cracking noises. Then the South shall get a Dr. Pepper out of the kitchen and sit down to watch its stories.

That's much better than my attempts at thinking up a civil war battle that could double as innuendo.

walrusman
Aug 4, 2006

Vicksvaporubburg

edit: Sherman's March to the CVS

walrusman has a new favorite as of 15:47 on Jul 9, 2018

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I gotta say, I'm loving the tiny dreamcatcher. Very ironic.

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




Iron Crowned posted:

I'm not really sure how anyone lets their cars get that bad. I mean in the winter my car will accumulate a couple receipts, and maybe a wrapper or two, but as soon as I have an empty taco bell bag all that poo poo gets stuffed in said bag and thrown out. Of course once the weather gets nicer, I don't even let that stuff accumulate because I like to roll down my windows and I don't want that poo poo getting sucked out.




I helped a woman load 2 dozen latex balloons into her car today and wow I can't wonder why half of them popped between the car being full of pointy trash and her car not having AC

like I felt bad because the way she talked to me was really... concerning....... like suicidal jokes but not with that joking tone we all use

kind of a bummer. I hope she's okay. in between the pointy trash piles there was a car seat for a child. :smith:

Anil Dikshit
Apr 11, 2007

cash crab posted:

I gotta say, I'm loving the tiny dreamcatcher. Very ironic.

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DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever


Haha, thats great, the wife dreamed of losing some weight.

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