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ToxicSlurpee posted:That burning orb you see in the sky? Bringer of light and warmth, sir, we are all indebted to your super old lone ball. May it's fiery march burn the heavens forever. 
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Jul 24, 2018 03:06
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Croatoan posted:Can confirm. It's cold too. And deep.
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Jul 24, 2018 03:26
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ToxicSlurpee posted:That burning orb you see in the sky? 
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Jul 24, 2018 04:44
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Some cringe, but it becomes transcendent https://youtu.be/TYLWRn_ApGU
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Jul 24, 2018 05:54
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seen less impressive routines at the olympics, that's legit
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Jul 24, 2018 06:26
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I'm having a lot of feelings about that
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Jul 24, 2018 06:33
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Reiche posted:Someone here used to have an avatar of "World's smallest penis - Sometimes I pee on my balls" and it never failed to make laugh. I wonder whatever happened to them in my mind they're using a hot dog on a stick to beat that bus seat
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Jul 24, 2018 07:50
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cash crab posted:I love you I love you, two! Two as in two balls. 
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Jul 24, 2018 07:57
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As far as AUG things seen in public go, I've seen some but the one that's always stuck with me was a woman I saw directing her son to just piss in the street against a wall when I was parked outside a fish and chip shop. The reason I remember this is because even if it wasn't exactly bustling, there were still people walking about who could potentially see it happening.
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Jul 24, 2018 09:15
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Wheat Loaf posted:As far as AUG things seen in public go, I've seen some but the one that's always stuck with me was a woman I saw directing her son to just piss in the street against a wall when I was parked outside a fish and chip shop. The reason I remember this is because even if it wasn't exactly bustling, there were still people walking about who could potentially see it happening. You should go to China.
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Jul 24, 2018 10:26
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I once saw a woman direct her kid to pee against the wheelie bin in their front garden. Why she didn't just make him go inside and use the toilet... Maybe it was a tactic to stop the neighbours stealing it?
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Jul 24, 2018 10:31
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The best public toilet AUG I ever experienced was the legendary Worst Public Toilet in Chengdu. Any Chengoons reading this know exactly the one I mean. It was filthy, of course, and also in a basement. There were no stall doors, just dividers, so you could squat down and stare longingly into the taint across from you. Yes, squat toilets are better for you, whatever, but visually speaking...I'd rather see someone sit while pooping. The good thing is that some of them were raised, which meant there was less diarrhea splattered everywhere and less cloudy brown piss puddled on every surface. Just barely. I found the least horrible slot, which was just out of eyeline from an obese man who, hunkered down in his own little poo poo bunker, was enjoying loud pornography on his phone while eking out an agonizingly slow dook. He may have been the only one in China taking a solid poo poo that day, in fact. Thankfully, his porn lady was a prettier lady than myself, and he had the good grace not to stare at me. A rat ran around behind him. I cannot confirm or deny what it was doing. Anyways, don't wear sandals in public toilets if you can help it.
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Jul 24, 2018 10:42
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This is what I got out of it.Fleta Mcgurn posted:
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Jul 24, 2018 11:39
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Don't go anywhere outside the U.S., Canada, or northwestern Europe if you value your ability to take a dump in peace and civility.
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Jul 24, 2018 14:31
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Argentina has bidets and you can flush the toilet paper.
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Jul 24, 2018 15:07
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haha, while you bitches were busy mastering the blockchain, I was teaching myself how not to poo poo.. Living it up in Asia now fools!
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Jul 24, 2018 15:08
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walrusman posted:Don't go anywhere outside the U.S., Canada, or northwestern Europe if you value your ability to take a dump in peace and civility. I'm going to Indonesia, India, Ireland, and Iceland next year and I'm gonna start preparing myself for foreign toilets.
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Jul 24, 2018 15:12
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my only foreign toilet observations: Chile has weirdly small, but otherwise functional, bathrooms
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Jul 24, 2018 15:25
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The worst toilets in Chengdu IMHO were the ones in our school. The girls would leave these enormous maxi pads in the trash cans (they are open, and that's where your used buttwipes go.) These pads were so soaked in blood that they were basically squelching beefsteaks and the smell was loving ungodly. They must have been using one pad for days at a time. The smell of old period never really went away because it was really hot and humid in there, while also means we were breeding mosquitoes to feast on the teenaged pantsmeat. In short, I did not care for it.
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Jul 24, 2018 16:33
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Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet? Meth Leppard
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Jul 24, 2018 16:48
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BiggerBoat posted:Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?
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Jul 24, 2018 16:52
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Question Mark Mound posted:Take Speed You Crack Emporer 5 words
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Jul 24, 2018 16:52
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BiggerBoat posted:Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet? Godspeed You White Trash E:f,b!!!!!!
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Jul 24, 2018 16:52
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The Offspring (of Siblings)
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Jul 24, 2018 16:56
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:5 words
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Jul 24, 2018 16:58
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BiggerBoat posted:Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet? Stereo(Meth)Lab
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Jul 24, 2018 17:09
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Ded Zeppelin Methloaf Kid Rock Family Reunion Palestorm
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Jul 24, 2018 17:18
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Cracked -Out Speed Wagon
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Jul 24, 2018 17:22
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Oh my god Asian toilet talk is giving me flashbacks to wretched squat toilet moments. The worst for me was less gross than terrifying. A toilet bowl in a damp, unlit concrete room deep in the woods protected by some of the largest, quickest spiders I ever laid eyes on. Hope you don't have to pee at night!
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Jul 24, 2018 17:25
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Always bring a Weed dragon and plenty of propane on camping trips. The flame thrower works great for starting fires and burning spiders.
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Jul 24, 2018 17:42
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For the Tales of Foul Shitters episode: I was once in Istanbul during a cruise and went with a friend into a seedy little bar near the waterfront for a few beers. The bathroom was outside at the end of an alleyway, and a stream of liquid flowed down the center of the alley. When I got to the urinal and pissed, I heard a splattering sound and realized that the urinal was piped right out into the alley. You know what the stream was. The tiny room with a squat shitter had poo poo splattered all around the floor and the basin.Thank god I didn't have to use it.
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Jul 24, 2018 17:49
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Awkward, Ugly & Gross: Visually speaking I'd rather see someone sit while pooping
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Jul 24, 2018 18:20
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BiggerBoat posted:Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet? Methtalica Ice Ice Babies Ometh Talking Methheads Stealing Car Radioheads
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Jul 24, 2018 18:29
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LingcodKilla posted:Always bring a Weed dragon and plenty of propane on camping trips. The flame thrower works great for starting fires and burning spiders. The last time I went camping in a provincial park, it was a little bit nicer one than I'm used to, so the bathroom was a flush toilet rather than a pit, and it had a light on inside. But it was still open to the air at the roofline to vent heat and poo stink. Cue needing to poo poo at 3 am and walking in to find the room absolutely crawling with various bugs attracted by the light. I wish there had been spiders. I think there might have been a web or two, but they were glutted with the bodies of flies. There were bugs all over the walls, crawling on the floor, crawling on the ceiling, thankfully not on the seat. But I had to crap, so what do you do? When I had to pee again later that morning I just went in the bushes.
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Jul 24, 2018 19:18
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BiggerBoat posted:Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet? Copper Wire Reclaimers
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Jul 24, 2018 20:04
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Your bathroom stories are very rich and immersive, Fleta. It's like I am there. I guess my most memorable one would be the bathrooms in the MacDonald's on Stephen Avenue in Calgary. Before I moved, I went in there against my better judgement, and was while waiting, was pushed by an irate pregnant woman. Once I got in, I realized the seat was covered in blood. I just held it in. I went back a few months ago, and someone had peed against the pop dispenser, amongst other things.
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Jul 24, 2018 20:32
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cash crab posted:... I went back a few months ago, and someone had peed against the pop dispenser, amongst other things. I first read this as poop dispenser. Gonna need to scrub my browsing history now.....
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Jul 24, 2018 20:35
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Some good ol' fashioned gross
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Jul 24, 2018 20:36
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I also read that as poop dispenser. Sorry. That there above me is gross and I can not top it. I don't have a picture but there's a porta in Seattle that is surrounded on three sides by concrete. It's near Seattle Center, close to the skate park. I tried using it a few weeks ago to find the toilet portion full of trash. The floor also had trash. I had to pee badly in borad daylight so I squatted over the mess that had been a toilet and let go. At least maybe my pee melted the cardboard boxes down a bit for the next poor sucker that had to go. More people should just pee in bushes and use composting toilets instead of creepy-rear end portapotties. Chemical toilets smell terrible but composting toilets smell like cedar.
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Jul 24, 2018 20:56
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Trailer Park Troubadours, featuring their smash hit "Forks in the road, but not in the trees."
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Jul 24, 2018 21:02
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