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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

ToxicSlurpee posted:

That burning orb you see in the sky?

Yeah, that isn't the sun. :smaug:

Bringer of light and warmth, sir, we are all indebted to your super old lone ball. May it's fiery march burn the heavens forever. :worship:

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Darth Freddy
Feb 6, 2007

An Emperor's slightest dislike is transmitted to those who serve him, and there it is amplified into rage.

Croatoan posted:

Can confirm. It's cold too.

And deep.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

ToxicSlurpee posted:

That burning orb you see in the sky?

Yeah, that isn't the sun. :smaug:

:orb::orb:

The Door Frame
Dec 5, 2011

I don't know man everytime I go to the gym here there are like two huge dudes with raging high and tights snorting Nitro-tech off of each other's rock hard abs.
Some cringe, but it becomes transcendent
https://youtu.be/TYLWRn_ApGU

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
seen less impressive routines at the olympics, that's legit

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I'm having a lot of feelings about that

Holden MacRoin
Sep 5, 2011

Reiche posted:

Someone here used to have an avatar of "World's smallest penis - Sometimes I pee on my balls" and it never failed to make laugh. I wonder whatever happened to them


Public transportation is frightening

in my mind they're using a hot dog on a stick to beat that bus seat

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

cash crab posted:

I love you

I love you, two! Two as in two balls.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
As far as AUG things seen in public go, I've seen some but the one that's always stuck with me was a woman I saw directing her son to just piss in the street against a wall when I was parked outside a fish and chip shop. The reason I remember this is because even if it wasn't exactly bustling, there were still people walking about who could potentially see it happening.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

Wheat Loaf posted:

As far as AUG things seen in public go, I've seen some but the one that's always stuck with me was a woman I saw directing her son to just piss in the street against a wall when I was parked outside a fish and chip shop. The reason I remember this is because even if it wasn't exactly bustling, there were still people walking about who could potentially see it happening.

You should go to China.

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

I once saw a woman direct her kid to pee against the wheelie bin in their front garden. Why she didn't just make him go inside and use the toilet... Maybe it was a tactic to stop the neighbours stealing it?

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
The best public toilet AUG I ever experienced was the legendary Worst Public Toilet in Chengdu. Any Chengoons reading this know exactly the one I mean.

It was filthy, of course, and also in a basement. There were no stall doors, just dividers, so you could squat down and stare longingly into the taint across from you. Yes, squat toilets are better for you, whatever, but visually speaking...I'd rather see someone sit while pooping. The good thing is that some of them were raised, which meant there was less diarrhea splattered everywhere and less cloudy brown piss puddled on every surface. Just barely.

I found the least horrible slot, which was just out of eyeline from an obese man who, hunkered down in his own little poo poo bunker, was enjoying loud pornography on his phone while eking out an agonizingly slow dook. He may have been the only one in China taking a solid poo poo that day, in fact. Thankfully, his porn lady was a prettier lady than myself, and he had the good grace not to stare at me.

A rat ran around behind him. I cannot confirm or deny what it was doing.


Anyways, don't wear sandals in public toilets if you can help it.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


This is what I got out of it.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:



Anyways, don't go to Asia if you can help it.

walrusman
Aug 4, 2006

Don't go anywhere outside the U.S., Canada, or northwestern Europe if you value your ability to take a dump in peace and civility.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Argentina has bidets and you can flush the toilet paper.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

haha, while you bitches were busy mastering the blockchain, I was teaching myself how not to poo poo..

Living it up in Asia now fools!

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

walrusman posted:

Don't go anywhere outside the U.S., Canada, or northwestern Europe if you value your ability to take a dump in peace and civility.

I'm going to Indonesia, India, Ireland, and Iceland next year and I'm gonna start preparing myself for foreign toilets.

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop
my only foreign toilet observations: Chile has weirdly small, but otherwise functional, bathrooms

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
The worst toilets in Chengdu IMHO were the ones in our school. The girls would leave these enormous maxi pads in the trash cans (they are open, and that's where your used buttwipes go.) These pads were so soaked in blood that they were basically squelching beefsteaks and the smell was loving ungodly. They must have been using one pad for days at a time. The smell of old period never really went away because it was really hot and humid in there, while also means we were breeding mosquitoes to feast on the teenaged pantsmeat.

In short, I did not care for it.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

Don't you tell me my business again.
Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?



Meth Leppard

Question Mark Mound
Jun 14, 2006

Tokyo Crystal Mew
Dancing Godzilla

BiggerBoat posted:

Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?



Meth Leppard
Take Speed You Crack Emporer

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

Question Mark Mound posted:

Take Speed You Crack Emporer

5 words

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

BiggerBoat posted:

Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?



Meth Leppard


Godspeed You White Trash

E:f,b!!!!!!

Kwanzaa Quickie
Nov 4, 2009
The Offspring (of Siblings)

Question Mark Mound
Jun 14, 2006

Tokyo Crystal Mew
Dancing Godzilla
I'll hyphenate "Crack-Emporer" then.

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop

BiggerBoat posted:

Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?



Stereo(Meth)Lab

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.

Ded Zeppelin
Methloaf
Kid Rock Family Reunion
Palestorm

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Cracked -Out Speed Wagon

computer angel
Sep 9, 2008

Make it a double.
Oh my god Asian toilet talk is giving me flashbacks to wretched squat toilet moments. The worst for me was less gross than terrifying. A toilet bowl in a damp, unlit concrete room deep in the woods protected by some of the largest, quickest spiders I ever laid eyes on. Hope you don't have to pee at night!

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Always bring a Weed dragon and plenty of propane on camping trips. The flame thrower works great for starting fires and burning spiders.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
For the Tales of Foul Shitters episode: I was once in Istanbul during a cruise and went with a friend into a seedy little bar near the waterfront for a few beers. The bathroom was outside at the end of an alleyway, and a stream of liquid flowed down the center of the alley. When I got to the urinal and pissed, I heard a splattering sound and realized that the urinal was piped right out into the alley. You know what the stream was. The tiny room with a squat shitter had poo poo splattered all around the floor and the basin.Thank god I didn't have to use it.

Megabound
Oct 20, 2012

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Awkward, Ugly & Gross: Visually speaking I'd rather see someone sit while pooping

Megabound
Oct 20, 2012

BiggerBoat posted:

Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?



Meth Leppard

Methtalica
Ice Ice Babies
Ometh
Talking Methheads
Stealing Car Radioheads

Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

LingcodKilla posted:

Always bring a Weed dragon and plenty of propane on camping trips. The flame thrower works great for starting fires and burning spiders.

The last time I went camping in a provincial park, it was a little bit nicer one than I'm used to, so the bathroom was a flush toilet rather than a pit, and it had a light on inside. But it was still open to the air at the roofline to vent heat and poo stink.

Cue needing to poo poo at 3 am and walking in to find the room absolutely crawling with various bugs attracted by the light. I wish there had been spiders. I think there might have been a web or two, but they were glutted with the bodies of flies. There were bugs all over the walls, crawling on the floor, crawling on the ceiling, thankfully not on the seat. But I had to crap, so what do you do?

When I had to pee again later that morning I just went in the bushes.

winterwerefox
Apr 23, 2010

The next movie better not make me shave anything :(

BiggerBoat posted:

Have we hosed around with this photo in this thread yet?



Meth Leppard

Copper Wire Reclaimers

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


Your bathroom stories are very rich and immersive, Fleta. It's like I am there.

I guess my most memorable one would be the bathrooms in the MacDonald's on Stephen Avenue in Calgary. Before I moved, I went in there against my better judgement, and was while waiting, was pushed by an irate pregnant woman. Once I got in, I realized the seat was covered in blood. I just held it in. I went back a few months ago, and someone had peed against the pop dispenser, amongst other things.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

cash crab posted:

... I went back a few months ago, and someone had peed against the pop dispenser, amongst other things.

I first read this as poop dispenser.







Gonna need to scrub my browsing history now.....

Megabound
Oct 20, 2012

Some good ol' fashioned gross

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


I also read that as poop dispenser. Sorry.

That there above me is gross and I can not top it. I don't have a picture but there's a porta in Seattle that is surrounded on three sides by concrete. It's near Seattle Center, close to the skate park. I tried using it a few weeks ago to find the toilet portion full of trash. The floor also had trash. I had to pee badly in borad daylight so I squatted over the mess that had been a toilet and let go. At least maybe my pee melted the cardboard boxes down a bit for the next poor sucker that had to go.

More people should just pee in bushes and use composting toilets instead of creepy-rear end portapotties. Chemical toilets smell terrible but composting toilets smell like cedar.

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GoingPostal
Jun 1, 2015


I love Derek Smart
U love Derek Smart
If we didn't love Derek Smart, we'd be lame

Trailer Park Troubadours, featuring their smash hit "Forks in the road, but not in the trees."

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