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Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

It would be helpful in the future if I weren't an illiterate piece of poo poo. Added you to list.

EDIT: it's been explained to me how judging actually works. sorry for the false alarm

Invisible Clergy fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Jul 30, 2018

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crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






wait what the gently caress

edit: i have figured out what the gently caress

crabrock fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Jul 30, 2018

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
While the week 312 goofball brigade runs extensive testing on how to how to discern their asses from their elbows...

:toot: :siren: Thunderdome Week 313: (Were-creatures and) Vampires are Alive :toot: :siren:


image context


Right, it's another year and Thunderdome is getting saggier, paunchier, slower, and frankly that halitosis is out of control.

For six years, Thunderdome writers have tackled prompts that offered some worthy challenge or uncommon vein of inspiration. We've struggled to find beauty, meaning, and evocative emotion within the confines of the very short story. This week, fortunately, you won't have to worry about any of that.

When you sign up, you will choose to be either a were-creature or a vampire. Were-creatures and vampires, as we all know, are at war so rrrr you hate each other!!

If you sign up as a vampire:

  • Your vampire will be given a weakness. Your vampire will not be weak to the sun, garlic, silver, etcetera. Other vampires in your world might still be, but your (original character, do not steal) vampire will have their very own vulnerability.
  • Your vampire will be given a unique ability. That ability MUST be prominently apparent, though your vampire can still have speed/strength/perception/etc.
  • Your vampire's power and weakness must come into play! That should be obvious. Mostly I wanted a third bullet point because I have more to say to the were-people but wanted the two lists to look even.

If you sign up as a were-creature

  • You will receive a were-animal. For the purposes of this prompt, "were" means they are human most of the time and turn into an animal for whatever reason. I will NOT be giving out any form of wolf or canine.
  • Your were-animal should meaningfully embody the animal I give you, though I'm giving some leeway on the exact shape of your were-creature. For example, if I give you a panther, your character could turn into a literal panther, or you could imagine some kind of anthropomorphized version.
  • HOLY poo poo NO ANIMAL GENITALS. NO WERE-SEX. NO HUMANS FALLING FOR TRANSFORMED VERSIONS OF OTHER HUMANS. Seriously. The judges of this week have no interest in any sort of sex being part of this prompt. If you don't think you can write an audience-appropriate romance without involving the animal aspects of your characters, think of a new plot.

I think that's about it. Any level of collaboration or poo poo talk is welcome, but there is no obligation to collaborate or even consider what anyone else is doing.

Signups close on Friday, August 3rd at 11:59:59PM PST
Submissions close on Sunday, August 5th at 11:59:59PM PST
Word count: 1200 but you can get 200 more if you write a crit for any recent Thunderdome story.
The winner(s[?]) will receive either a custom Week 313 av or a $25 dollar Amazon gift card. Your choice.
Judges
Sitting Here
Kaishai
UraniumPhoenix

Leeches:

Invisible Clergy
Strength: Your vampire can taste the past or future in their victim's blood
Weakness: The presence of perfume torments them


Bad Seafood
Strength: Your vampire's immortal mind possesses picture-perfect memory
Weakness: Seawater is the bane of their travels


Guiness13
Strength: Your vampire can prepare foods that are preternaturally intoxicating.
Weakness: Your vampire is deathly weak to anything fermented.


a new study bible
Strength: Your vampire can diagnose any illness simply by tasting the patient's blood.
Weakness: Your vampire cannot be in the presence of tolling bells, or any simulacrum thereof.


sebmojo
Strength: Your vampire possesses the mesmerizing grace of a dancer.
Weakness: Your vampire is tormented by the shrill cry of the violin.


Captain_person
Strength: Your vampire has power over gravedust and can move/shape it as they see fit.
Weakness: Your vampire is immobilized in the presence of ghosts.


CascadeBeta
Strength: Your vampire can control the ambient temperature within a modest radius.
Weakness: The touch of human hair brings your vampire to their knees.


Mercedes
Strength: Your vampire can speak to the as-yet unborn decedents of their victim.
Weakness: Your vampire can interact physically with the present, but can never communicate with anyone except the apparitions of the future.


steeltoedsneakers
Strength: Your vampire can tailor preternaturally exquisite clothing, which makes the wearer susceptible to the vampire's will.
Weakness: Your vampire gushes precious blood at the merest pinprick.


BabyRyoga
Strength: Your vampire can enthrall anyone they paint a portrait of, turning subjects into servants (or meals, if necessary).
Weakness: Your vampire is immortal, but age is not kind to them; they crack and wither, ever becoming more hideous, so only their thralls can tolerate their presence.


Benny Profane
Strength: Your vampire can return their victims to a youthful state
Weakness: Your vampire cannot abide the sound of ticking clocks or clock chimes.


Bacon Terrorist
Strength: Your vampire is completely invisible at night.
Weakness: Your vampire burns under the light of the moon the way other vampires burn under the sun.


Okua
Strength: Your vampire can read the minds of their victims*.
Weakness: The only victims whose minds your vampire can read are those with the AB- blood type

Chainmail Onesie
Strength: Your vampire can understand any human language, spoken or written.
Weakness: Your vampire is preternaturally weak to mosquitoes.


ThirdEmperor
Strength: Your vampire's bite soothes others' pain, for a while.
Weakness: The earth hates your vampire, and will stop at nothing to crush them if they go underground.


dmboogie
Strength: Upon passing into any territory or jurisdiction (state, county, city, province, etc.), your vampire instantly knows all laws and polices in effect in that area.
Weakness: Your vampire must always abide by local laws.


Jeza
TBA

Blind Sally
Strength: Your vampire's voice, even just a whisper, can shatter glass, if they so choose.
Weakness: Your vampire will attract inconvenient hordes of fireflies if they stay in one place for too long.





Fleabags:

QuoProQuid
You got the agile were-Quokka!

Solitair
You got the speedy and powerful were-ostrich!

apophenium
You got the quick and deceptive were-anole!

crabrock
You got the venerable were-walrus!

Thranguy
You got the arboreal, acrobatic were-tree frog!

Hawklad
You got the lithe, formidable were-Caiman!

curlingiron
You got the touch-sensitive were-star-nosed mole!

Chili
You got the charming and flamboyant were-bowerbird!

mockingquantum
You got the well-defended and long-lived were-turtle or tortoise! (your choice)

Staggy
You got the swift, springy were-Antelope!

Yoruichi
You got the streamlined, semi-aquatic were-river otter!

SurreptitiousMuffin
you got the mysterious and frankly kinda freaky were-horseshoe crab!

Maugrim
You got the lord of the small skies, the were-dragonfly!

lofi
You got the sleek and slippery were-newt!

ibntumart
You got the huge, majestic were-elk!

Noah
You got the glamorous were-peacock!

Antivehicular
You got the hooded were-cobra!

Lippincott
You got the fearsome were-scorpion!

Sitting Here fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Aug 1, 2018

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3
Sign me up as a vampire.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

:toxx:ing myself back onto the wagon

Give me a were-creature

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010


If you must blink, do it now.
In.

Gimme dat vampire juice.

Solitair
Feb 18, 2014

TODAY'S GONNA BE A GOOD MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY!!!
IN as a were-creature. Vampires suck.

apophenium
Apr 14, 2009
I'll take a were-critter please

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






had my 6 yo nephew legit convinced i was a werewolf and he was too scared to go to sleep in my apt the night of the full moon.


anyway in and were-rule plz

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Vampires rule as we all know bc of their domination power (1/rd, duration 24h save vs will) and superior speed skill and strength, while werewolves drool because they are dogs.

Vampire, obv

Captain_Person
Apr 7, 2013

WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?
In as a sexy vampire

Solitair
Feb 18, 2014

TODAY'S GONNA BE A GOOD MOTHERFUCKIN' DAY!!!
Brawl vs. mockingquantum entry:
Henshin Blues
3,011 words

REMOVED

Solitair fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Dec 31, 2018

CascadeBeta
Feb 14, 2009

by Cyrano4747
In, vamp :toxx:

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Deceitful and black-hearted, perhaps we are. But we would never go against the Code. Well, perhaps for good reasons. But mostly never.
Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf???? when the wolf????bane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.

Hawklad
May 3, 2003


Who wants to live
forever?


DIVE!

College Slice
In, were-creature if you please!

Guiness13
Feb 17, 2007

The best angel of all.
In, vampiya!

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


In for Vampire

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
A note about the were-critters: Some of these animals are going to be huge or tiny. For the purposes of this prompt, if you get a huge/tiny animal, their were-form doesn't necessarily have to be the same size. It should still have the attributes of your assigned animal, though.

If I don't get your assignment now, expect one in the next 2-4 hours.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Sign me up as a vampire.

Strength: Your vampire can taste the past or future in their victim's blood
Weakness: The presence of perfume torments them

QuoProQuid posted:

:toxx:ing myself back onto the wagon

Give me a were-creature

You got the agile were-Quokka!

Bad Seafood posted:

In.

Gimme dat vampire juice.

Strength: Your vampire's immortal mind possesses picture-perfect memory
Weakness: Seawater is the bane of their travels

Solitair posted:

IN as a were-creature. Vampires suck.

You got the speedy and powerful were-ostrich!

apophenium posted:

I'll take a were-critter please

You got the quick and deceptive were-anole!

crabrock posted:

had my 6 yo nephew legit convinced i was a werewolf and he was too scared to go to sleep in my apt the night of the full moon.

anyway in and were-rule plz

You got the venerable were-walrus!

sebmojo posted:

Vampires rule as we all know bc of their domination power (1/rd, duration 24h save vs will) and superior speed skill and strength, while werewolves drool because they are dogs.

Vampire, obv

Strength: Your vampire possesses the mesmerizing grace of a dancer.
Weakness: Your vampire is tormented by the shrill cry of the violin.


Strength: Your vampire has power over gravedust and can move/shape it as they see fit.
Weakness: Your vampire is immobilized in the presence of ghosts.


Strength: Your vampire can control the ambient temperature within a modest radius.
Weakness: The touch of human hair brings your vampire to their knees.

Thranguy posted:

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf???? when the wolf????bane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.

You got the arboreal, acrobatic were-tree frog!

Hawklad posted:

In, were-creature if you please!

You got the lithe, formidable were-Caiman!

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

Guiness13 posted:

In, vampiya!

Strength: Your vampire can prepare foods that are preternaturally intoxicating.
Weakness: Your vampire is deathly weak to anything fermented.


Strength: Your vampire can diagnose any illness simply by tasting the patient's blood.
Weakness: Your vampire cannot be in the presence of tolling bells, or any simulacrum thereof.

curlingiron
Dec 15, 2006

b l o o p

In for team Were!

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

college kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe
Both seem good, and I can't decide. Pick for me, please!

MockingQuantum
Jan 20, 2012



I'm in, requesting werebeast for myself, and an epically dumb werething for chili as punishment for his indecision.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.




Holy poo poo, sink those vamp fangs right in my buttcheek

ThirdEmperor
Aug 7, 2013

BEHOLD MY GLORY

AND THEN

BRAWL ME
-archived-

ThirdEmperor fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Dec 31, 2018

steeltoedsneakers
Jul 26, 2016





In.

I'd like to write about a vampire, please and thank you.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

curlingiron posted:

In for team Were!

You got the touch-sensitive were-star-nosed mole!

Chili posted:

Both seem good, and I can't decide. Pick for me, please!

You got the charming and flamboyant were-bowerbird!

MockingQuantum posted:

I'm in, requesting werebeast for myself, and an epically dumb werething for chili as punishment for his indecision.

You got the well-defended and long-lived were-turtle or tortoise! (your choice)

Mercedes posted:

Holy poo poo, sink those vamp fangs right in my buttcheek

Strength: Your vampire can speak to the as-yet unborn decedents of their victim.
Weakness: Your vampire can interact physically with the present, but can never communicate with anyone except the apparitions of the future.

steeltoedsneakers posted:

In.

I'd like to write about a vampire, please and thank you.

Strength: Your vampire can tailor preternaturally exquisite clothing, which makes the wearer susceptible to the vampire's will.
Weakness: Your vampire gushes precious blood at the merest pinprick.

Staggy
Mar 20, 2008

Said little bitch, you can't fuck with me if you wanted to
These expensive
These is red bottoms
These is bloody shoes


In for team were-beast please.

BabyRyoga
May 21, 2001

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
In

Feelin' vampire slightly more so tonight.

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017


Horse Facts

True and Interesting Facts about Horse


In for team were-thing

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
I am in on team Were-

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face
Hi. In. Werecritter.

lofi
Apr 2, 2018




Yeah, count me in. Team doggy style.

Profane Accessory
Feb 23, 2012

In, team bloodsuckers.

Pham Nuwen
Oct 30, 2010



ThirdEmperor / Sitting Here brawl results

I asked for stories about hotels. I got a story about a couple hearing a weird noise in a Holiday Inn, and a story about two lonely sorcerers beefin' in Ye Olde Crusades Inne. Sitting Here, I really liked the characterization in your story, but at the end of the day I think ThirdEmperor told more of an actual story while still including some ~*~feelings~*~. Congratulations, ThirdEmperor, I name you winner of this brawl! Don't get a big head, though; I'd have put both stories firmly in the middle of the pack on a regular TD week.

Sitting Here, "S.E.P."
Kyle seems to live in his own head a lot. By telling the story in 3rd person but including Kyle's thoughts, it also makes it feel like Ashley doesn't worry about stuff as much, she's more easy-going. I like your characters; in the short word limit, you establish two people who I recognize. Kyle is basically me. My problem with the story is: what, and why? What was the "implication [that] reared its head"? I assume S.E.P. stands for "somebody else's problem", and while Kyle's response seems realistic, it's not very satisfying--"Frodo handed the ring to Elrond and went back to the Shire. The End." wouldn't be a very good story. My complaint with the story is that it's basically something your friend might drop over beers to little acknowledgment: "This one time we stayed at a hotel and there was this thumping from next door, but it was just a linen closet. Anyway we ignored it and had a pretty good time."

ThirdEmperor, "Hayyan"
As I read the title, I assume you've hit up name sites for a meaningful name which composes the title and possibly the main character's name. I think in at least one spot you forgot to replace the placeholder ("-"?) with "Hayyan", and I think in general another proofing pass would have done it a favor. I liked the story well enough; I like wizards, so it's an easy sell. I'd read a 4,000 word story about this pair where they did something exciting instead of conjuring at each other and being sad. Putting the showdown in the courtyard is skirting close to my "all action must take place in the hotel" but I'll allow it. I think you were going for an overall theme of loneliness and homesickness, and I do think you achieved it reasonably well.

Bacon Terrorist
May 7, 2010

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022
Vampire me :drac:

Okua
Oct 30, 2016

I'm in.
Team vampire, please.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice
Were me out, pretty please.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
More prompts will be up sometime this afternoon! (PST)

Chainmail Onesie
May 12, 2014


LoserWinner
of "Thunder Dome!
In, vampire pls

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Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

Staggy posted:

In for team were-beast please.

You got the swift, springy were-Antelope!

BabyRyoga posted:

In

Feelin' vampire slightly more so tonight.

Strength: Your vampire can enthrall anyone they paint a portrait of, turning subjects into servants (or meals, if necessary).
Weakness: Your vampire is immortal, but age is not kind to them; they crack and wither, ever becoming more hideous, so only their thralls can tolerate their presence.

Yoruichi posted:

In for team were-thing

You got the streamlined, semi-aquatic were-river otter!

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

I am in on team Were-

you got the mysterious and frankly kinda freaky were-horseshoe crab!

Maugrim posted:

Hi. In. Werecritter.

You got the lord of the small skies, the were-dragonfly!

lofi posted:

Yeah, count me in. Team doggy style.

You got the sleek and slippery were-newt!

Benny Profane posted:

In, team bloodsuckers.

Strength: Your vampire can return their victims to a youthful state
Weakness: Your vampire cannot abide the sound of ticking clocks or clock chimes.


Strength: Your vampire is completely invisible at night.
Weakness: Your vampire burns under the light of the moon the way other vampires burn under the sun.

Okua posted:

I'm in.
Team vampire, please.

Strength: Your vampire can read the minds of their victims*.
Weakness: The only victims whose minds your vampire can read are those with the AB- blood type.

ibntumart posted:

Were me out, pretty please.

You got the huge, majestic were-elk!

Chainmail Onesie posted:

In, vampire pls

Strength: Your vampire can understand any human language, spoken or written.
Weakness: Your vampire is preternaturally weak to mosquitoes.

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