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Fleta Mcgurn posted:McDonald's breakfast, the number one choice for romantic times. What the absolute gently caress. Granted, I've had my fair share of black out drunk 5am steak, egg, and cheese breakfast bagels but calling it McDoo Breaky is filling me with anger.
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Aug 6, 2018 21:31
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gently caress me running I’ll never get mcdoo breaky out of my head now.
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Aug 6, 2018 21:37
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LingcodKilla posted:gently caress me running I’ll never get mcdoo breaky out of my head now. loving seriously this is terrible
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Aug 6, 2018 21:59
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Scathach posted:loving seriously this is terrible Speaking of which we should meat up for McDoo breaky when I get back in town.
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Aug 6, 2018 22:04
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Oh, that's barely scratching the surface of some of the messages I've gotten. I got one the other day complimenting me on my "huge pussy" (my Tinder pic is me holding a cat) and the next day I saw him at the grocery store with his daughter. He asked if for a quarter for the electric wheelchairs out front and I said no. Anyway, other hits:   I mostly keep online dating profiles now so I can collect them and send them to another goon who lives back in Toronto.
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Aug 6, 2018 22:15
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cash crab posted:Oh, that's barely scratching the surface of some of the messages I've gotten. I got one the other day complimenting me on my "huge pussy" (my Tinder pic is me holding a cat) Did he think he was being funny?
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Aug 6, 2018 22:16
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LingcodKilla posted:Speaking of which we should meat up for McDoo breaky when I get back in town. Sounds good to me! Oh god I've never felt so Australian. E: too bad we just changed the title. "I won't describe my privates to you" is pretty prime
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Aug 6, 2018 22:17
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Did he think he was being funny? There's another message four hours later that just said, "poo poo." so I think he detected his folly
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Aug 6, 2018 22:21
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Being a woman on the internet is wild, y'all.
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Aug 6, 2018 22:25
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My favorite was a guy on OKCupid who asked me out and made a point to say if I want interested to let him know. I figured I'd be nice and tell him he was cute but I wasn't feeling it, but thanks for asking! He then proceeded to tell me he was a Marine and since I refused him he was going to have the military police arrest me and I'd spend the rest of my life in jail. I just started laughing and I've still never stopped. That was like seven years ago though, so sadly no screen shots.
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Aug 6, 2018 22:56
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Mods requesting a name change to “Sexy Warm Throat”.
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Aug 6, 2018 22:58
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Soysaucebeast posted:That was like seven years ago though, so sadly no screen shots. you’ve been in military jail for seven years??
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Aug 6, 2018 23:10
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Wow, I am proud! 
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Aug 6, 2018 23:40
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gey muckle mowser posted:you’ve been in military jail for seven years?? OKCorrectional
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Aug 6, 2018 23:47
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My favorite OkCupid conversation is someone who was really obviously (like, from the time you read the profile) a crazy person I knew from another forum who made one of the worst efforts to catfish me in the world. It ended up disintegrating after maybe 24 hours after they realized I wasn't taking the bait.
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Aug 6, 2018 23:50
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china bot posted:OKCorrectional *nods*
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Aug 7, 2018 00:10
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Hey I met my wife on okcupid so it isn't that bad.  I also met my ex wife on okcupid though. 
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Aug 7, 2018 00:16
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Hey I met my wife on okcupid so it isn't that bad. Okcupid is a website of contrasts Sad, sad contrasts
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Aug 7, 2018 00:24
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if it wasn't for OKCupid, I would have never heard Warm Slime by Thee Oh Sees
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Aug 7, 2018 00:55
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Thank the fates that I met my wife before the Internet. Blind date & everything. If she dies before I do, them welp. Ain't touching that poo poo with 39-1/2-foot pole. Jesus wept. Good on you young folks. 
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Aug 7, 2018 02:06
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You're not touching your wife's body with a 39.5 foot pole?
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Aug 7, 2018 02:08
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Not if she's dead.
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Aug 7, 2018 02:12
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Mpreg mcdonald's/burger king omegaverse AU with fur-positive undertones This is what the internet was made for.
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Aug 7, 2018 02:24
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cash crab posted:Not if she's dead. 
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Aug 7, 2018 02:26
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Being a woman on the internet is wild, y'all. It's no bed of roses the rest of the time, either 
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Aug 7, 2018 02:29
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AlbieQuirky posted:It's no bed of roses the rest of the time, either drat, some hard truths here tonight. Anyway y'all miss the 90's? 
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Aug 7, 2018 02:37
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Scathach posted:drat, some hard truths here tonight. Yes. To be young again. I worked at a wherehouse video store and that looks vaguely like some porn video jacket from back in the day.
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Aug 7, 2018 02:43
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Sweet baby Jesus  Oh hey, awkward 90's poo poo-- y'all see the last standing Blockbuster? It's in bumfuck nowhere and weird young people drive across state lines and fly in to rent videos.
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Aug 7, 2018 02:49
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Scathach posted:drat, some hard truths here tonight. I was only a kid in the 90s and still miss the 90s. china bot posted:if it wasn't for OKCupid, I would have never heard Warm Slime by Thee Oh Sees In retrospect, the best part of knowing my ex was becoming a fan of Ghost and learning to play their songs.
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Aug 7, 2018 04:14
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Scathach posted:Sounds good to me! What happens if you search Maccas on US Google.
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Aug 7, 2018 04:30
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I've never heard McDoos in my 37 years of living in the US until today. Mickey D's is the only nickname I've ever heard it referred to here.
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Aug 7, 2018 05:43
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Being a woman on the internet is wild, y'all. I got some creepy ones I kept; the craziest was a lawyer that sent me nearly twenty messages all during a Saturday, being pushy about me giving him my number, and devolving into how his time was super important and telling me how much he made in an hour, threatening me, and claiming I’d never be able to afford the bar he had suggested anyway. I blocked him and reported him; he made a burner account to call me a oval office about a dozen more times.  (The ‘compliment’ was two months after the first message)  One guy messaged me, all it said was ‘Hey how are you?’. His profile picture was his penis.
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Aug 7, 2018 06:04
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You'll never get friendzoned if you message women dick first! 
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Aug 7, 2018 06:23
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My experience with plentyoffish is that there are a lot of accounts that look like women, and then they message me and it's a dude who says "I'm on my wife's account and we're looking for a girl for a threesome." Also accounts named LezbianLove69 who are totally an actual women, no really, why don't you want to chat?
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Aug 7, 2018 06:24
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Cash crab, if those messages were from Calgary dudes I'm scared I'm going to know someone. It would not be the first time real life dudes I knew popped up here. Also what does that say about me? 
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Aug 7, 2018 06:46
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Picnic Princess posted:Cash crab, if those messages were from Calgary dudes I'm scared I'm going to know someone. It would not be the first time real life dudes I knew popped up here. Toronto. I got some bad Tinder ones though.  I didn't save them from my old phone, though.
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Aug 7, 2018 07:43
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Is there a dating site out there that has, like, a minimum competency test? Seems like there'd be a market for it.
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Aug 7, 2018 09:24
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Wow, two separate souls in two separate bodies. Beautifully poetic.
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Aug 7, 2018 12:59
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Skippy McPants posted:Is there a dating site out there that has, like, a minimum competency test? Seems like there'd be a market for it. Guess you have a new project!
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Aug 7, 2018 13:02
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computer angel posted:Wow, two separate souls in two separate bodies. Beautifully poetic. So what your saying is .... he has a chance? Seriously do any of these lines ever actually work? Or has one dude lied to another dude about it working and it’s just snowballed out of control?
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Aug 7, 2018 15:29
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