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while loudly evacuating my bowels, I thoughtfully exclaim So this is how liberty dies . . . with thunderous applause
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Aug 10, 2018 20:27
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*pouts sensually*
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Aug 10, 2018 20:29
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*in a nightclub dancing* "I’ll try spinning. That’s a good trick!"
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Aug 10, 2018 20:32
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Looking at this thread "Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!"
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Aug 10, 2018 20:36
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(to pack of oreos that are on sale while I'm trying to cut back on junkfood) "you are in my very soul... tormenting me"
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Aug 10, 2018 20:50
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LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:sitting alone in the dark bathroom frantically scrubbing, saying “now this is pod racing...” sitting alone in the dark bathroom frantically putting a tide pod in my mouth, saying "now this is pod racing..."
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Aug 10, 2018 20:57
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In response to every query: Roger Roger
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Aug 10, 2018 20:57
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At the local pond with my son for his first fishing derby. He reels in a massive bluegill. I look around nervously, "There's always a bigger fish".
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Aug 10, 2018 21:02
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"You are fired, Colonel Cancer" BEEP BOOP DWOOOIEEE
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Aug 10, 2018 21:07
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Me, when my boyfriend doesn’t use enough lube before ramming his cock into my rear end: “I hate it when he does that.”
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Aug 10, 2018 21:11
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I walked into a gun store the other day and a clerk greeted me cheerfully from behind the counter. "Good morning sir! Can I help you with anything?" I strode across the room with quiet, confident purpose until I was directly across from him. I placed one hand upon the warm walnut countertop and waved my other hand once, close to the front of his face, as if to banish a thought from his mind. "You don't want to sell me deathsticks." he called me a liberal human being and told me to get out
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Aug 10, 2018 21:16
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Nazi's bust into atic. "Annie?!"
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Aug 10, 2018 21:16
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The household cat jumps on the end table and smooshes its butthole along the rim of my coffee cup like a street performer playing water glasses. We lock eyes. Me: "There's gonna be a Stare War"
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Aug 10, 2018 21:17
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After a massive school shooting “He even killed the younglings!”
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Aug 10, 2018 21:21
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When chatting up two ladies at the bar "Careful you two, he is a big" *points to crotch*
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Aug 10, 2018 21:29
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Kuato posted:After a massive college party
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Aug 10, 2018 21:33
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I've been filling the neighbor lady with beans and cabbage for two days. I'm lying in bed, watching her disrobe slowly. I'm sweating bullets. My wife could be home any moment but I need this so bad. She climbs on top of me ascending my soft doughy peaks and cradles my head between her knees. I can hear my heart beating, my mind is racing at a fever pitch. My manhood twitches, achieving a nearly minute long sustained semi which is the hardest I've been in years. "Hit the nose!" I called out, unable to keep myself from laughing.
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Aug 10, 2018 21:34
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*getting ready to open Best Buy for the boxing day sale* "That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way." numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Aug 10, 2018 |
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Aug 10, 2018 21:42
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Opens D&D "Oh I'm not brave enough for politics"
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Aug 10, 2018 22:24
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Drunk Nerds posted:Important Job interview, the CEO asks me, "where do you see yourself in five years?" Gets immediately fired when the boss learns your mistake.
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Aug 10, 2018 22:25
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"At last we will reveal ourselves" - every time I disrobe and do the helicopter dick to my gf But like, no joke. I unironically quote the PT with my stupid group of stupid idiot friends way too much. Like, nearly every day there's some PT-based joke we make to each other.
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Aug 10, 2018 22:27
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Looks at a map of Israel. Wipe them out. All of them.
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Aug 10, 2018 22:28
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i went to a bar after bein at the beach and i was shakin sand off my birkenstocks and im like "ugh i don't like sand" this girl who looked like jim from the office only short and chubby but with the exact same hair goes "it's rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere" and she smiled at me and goes "hi i'm annie, you wanna get out of here?" i said "uhh no im a senator" and tried to head to the bathroom and she looked right into the camera and made this stupid smug face
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Aug 10, 2018 22:36
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When im watching my camgirls and donate $5 and say "execute order 69"
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Aug 10, 2018 22:38
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Big Beef City posted:Nazi's bust into atic. 5
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Aug 10, 2018 22:46
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Big Beef City posted:Nazi's bust into atic.
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Aug 10, 2018 22:50
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I'm with my buddies in a bar and I have to take a massive poo poo. But I am afraid to go into the bathroom by myself, I plead with my bros, "I can’t take a Dook alone! I need you!"
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Aug 10, 2018 22:51
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gas this thread and publicly shame people who quote star wars prequels imho
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Aug 10, 2018 22:54
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EdwardSwifferhands posted:I've been filling the neighbor lady with beans and cabbage for two days. I'm lying in bed, watching her disrobe slowly. I'm sweating bullets. My wife could be home any moment but I need this so bad. She climbs on top of me ascending my soft doughy peaks and cradles my head between her knees. I can hear my heart beating, my mind is racing at a fever pitch. My manhood twitches, achieving a nearly minute long sustained semi which is the hardest I've been in years. fixed that for you
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Aug 10, 2018 22:54
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OXBALLS DOT COM posted:When im watching my camgirls and donate $5 and say "execute order 69"
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Aug 11, 2018 00:08
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When the clone wars have begun: "Begun, the clone wars have."
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Aug 11, 2018 01:11
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gbs but from 2004 posted:gas this thread and publicly shame people who quote star wars prequels imho No you do the think from a clockwork orange and pry their eyelids open and make them watch all the star treks and if they don’t repent you make them watch the one season of sliders and the pilot on loop until they break.
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Aug 11, 2018 01:21
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"Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division, and from the antagonism between poor and rich, means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts." -- Chewbacca, 1969 Interview with the Wookie
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Aug 11, 2018 01:30
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So that's what he was saying this whole time
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Aug 11, 2018 01:40
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Marlboro for Cats posted:"Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division, and from the antagonism between poor and rich, means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts." -- Chewbacca, 1969 Interview with the Wookie Excuse me. This is a thread for the PREQUEL quotes. Please try to stay on topic. JEEZ. "Boba, is your father home?" I use that one every day too.
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Aug 11, 2018 09:06
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When I'm getting lunch
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Aug 11, 2018 09:45
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“Power! Unlimited power!” I scream as I pump gas into my Fiat Punto
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Aug 11, 2018 10:20
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from my point of view the op is actually good
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Aug 11, 2018 10:30
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*having gay wrestle sex* "it is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force… but by our skills with a lightsaber."
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Aug 11, 2018 10:34
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 07:35 |
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Them: You can't cross this gorge, the bridge is out. Me: https://i.imgur.com/IV3aTZW.mp4
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Aug 11, 2018 11:50
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