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I'm not a doctor but I'm surprised vaginismus and/or vulvar vestibulitis haven't been mentioned yet. That's something a family doctor is usually not going to be knowledgeable about, and it's bullshit that the ob/gyn you went to didn't ask you about the pain. I hope you can find another gynecologist to help you.
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Aug 8, 2018 00:27
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Stroop There It Is posted:I'm not a doctor but I'm surprised vaginismus and/or vulvar vestibulitis haven't been mentioned yet. That's something a family doctor is usually not going to be knowledgeable about, and it's bullshit that the ob/gyn you went to didn't ask you about the pain. I hope you can find another gynecologist to help you. I dunno. I don’t have much pain with Pap smears, though the HSG test was quite painful. Fingers are fine too. It’s difficult to tell how much is psychological and how much is physical. And it also doesn’t help that so little is known about it. There’s a girl in our friend group who recently expressed her interest in having a threesome with us. We flirted with the idea of a threesome in the past, after I came out as bisexual. I got cold feet though. It doesn’t seem like the best time to do something like that. With me having zero drive at the moment and my vulva being swollen and mildly painful, I don’t think I could get any enjoyment out of it.
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Aug 8, 2018 15:25
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I'm currently on 100mg of Pristiq and was put up to 200mg for the anti-anxiety effects, however I found I had complete loss of sex drive, ED and I don't know about anorgasmia, because I literally couldn't even get it up/feel it to find out. I was dropped back down to 100mg and things eventually returned to normal. I'm just about to start Cymbalta which apparently will be good for my depression and anxiety, and have less sexual function side effects. That said, I've noticed I can crack a boner quite easy, but keeping it during the foreplay process while I'm concentrating on her enjoyment it can go away and I struggle to get it to return when the focus shifts to me. Is this a potential side effect of my current medication, a symptom of my anxiety or something else I should be looking into and is there any good advice for how to deal with this? Do I just need to fluff myself during foreplay or something?
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Aug 11, 2018 00:45
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I've been thinking about ordering condoms online, but I remember hearing they shouldn't be kept in hot places. Is it going to be a problem if they sit outside my front door for a few hours when it hits 95F outside?
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Aug 13, 2018 20:32
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Don’t want be a smart rear end but itsnt the human body a bit warmer than that normally?
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Aug 13, 2018 20:50
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crowtribe posted:I'm currently on 100mg of Pristiq and was put up to 200mg for the anti-anxiety effects, however I found I had complete loss of sex drive, ED and I don't know about anorgasmia, because I literally couldn't even get it up/feel it to find out. Take turns who goes first. Works for my wife and me, and I have a similar problem where once it fades it doesn't come back. In my case, it's caused by depression/anxiety medication. Not living in terror is worth it, I guess. Nessa posted:Anyone have any experience with female sexual pain? My wife got prescribed some little wax pellets she's supposed to insert to loosen everything up. She ended up deciding that a few glasses of wine worked better. It sounds like maybe you have some different issues, though.
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Aug 13, 2018 22:32
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LingcodKilla posted:Don’t want be a smart rear end but itsnt the human body a bit warmer than that normally? Do you store your condoms up your rear end? When you have sex, do you jam it in and then just stay there for hours to days?
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Aug 13, 2018 22:39
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Or you could google condom temperature safety. Tl;dr for a couple hours at 95° it should be fine. Keeping it in a glove box (cars are way hotter than ambient temp) or a wallet (friction), both of which apparently olds used to do, isn't good.
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Aug 13, 2018 22:47
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i like nice words
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Hyperlynx posted:Do you store your condoms up your rear end? When you have sex, do you jam it in and then just stay there for hours to days? Yes?
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Aug 13, 2018 23:06
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LingcodKilla posted:Yes? It's ok, we don't kinkshame here.
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Aug 13, 2018 23:12
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immoral_ posted:It's ok, we don't kinkshame here. That’s what I thought I feel so attacked
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Aug 13, 2018 23:23
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crowtribe posted:I'm currently on 100mg of Pristiq and was put up to 200mg for the anti-anxiety effects, however I found I had complete loss of sex drive, ED and I don't know about anorgasmia, because I literally couldn't even get it up/feel it to find out. Are you using name brand or off-brand Pristiq? I had ED issues with the store brand but have been fine with the genuine article. Admittedly my dosage is only 50mg to YMMV.
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Aug 14, 2018 04:57
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Beachcomber posted:My wife got prescribed some little wax pellets she's supposed to insert to loosen everything up. She ended up deciding that a few glasses of wine worked better. It sounds like maybe you have some different issues, though. Well, even if it’s the same as what your wife had, I don’t really drink, so I doubt wine would work for me. I’ve been experiencing mild pain and swelling nearly every day now and just general constant discomfort. I’m seeing a lady doctor today though! She’s going to do an actual pelvic exam, which is something the other doctor didn’t even attempt. Maybe she’ll even ask me questions about my symptoms!
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Aug 14, 2018 17:04
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Nessa posted:I’ve been experiencing mild pain and swelling nearly every day now and just general constant discomfort. You should lead off with this when you sit down with the doctor.
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Aug 14, 2018 17:32
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Geoj posted:You should lead off with this when you sit down with the doctor. I didn’t lead off with it, but I did manage to get an exam, a script for bacterial vaginosis and a referral to a well regarded Women’s health centre.
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Aug 14, 2018 22:20
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I'm a male in my late twenties who has had a "sporadic" sex life, and hooking up with someone again for the first time in a few years has made me realise that in all of my encounters past and present going back 7 years I've never successfully got it up long enough for oral or penetrative sex. In fact the only time I've successfully climaxed with a partner was through vigorous handjobs from the last person I slept with, which would leave her with a sore wrist. This is a bit upsetting because it can make both people involved a bit sad and disappointed, and on a personal level I do feel like I've lost out on a lot of potential fun and intimacy over the years.  Each time I've still managed to make my partners feel good, which in itself is something that I definitely enjoy! At the same time I do wish it was easier for my partners to reciprocate on that, and that I could also Successfully gently caressI've obviously been pre-occupied with this, and am almost certain it's down to the semi-religious nightly porn & masturbation (and later, weed) routine I fell into in my teens which I'm only just now trying to kick. I've got an appointment with a doctor in a month to hopefully rule out any kind of physical issues all the same Has anybody else had experience with this before, and if so, how did they deal with it? I do get the feeling that whatever the solution is, it's probably not going to be an overnight one tl;dr sad man with chronic flop disorder seeks reassurance and/or advice
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Aug 14, 2018 23:33
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dadrips posted:I'm a male in my late twenties who has had a "sporadic" sex life, and hooking up with someone again for the first time in a few years has made me realise that in all of my encounters past and present going back 7 years I've never successfully got it up long enough for oral or penetrative sex. In fact the only time I've successfully climaxed with a partner was through vigorous handjobs from the last person I slept with, which would leave her with a sore wrist. Short answer, when you're in a place where you are regularly seeing someone you don't get to masturbate or finish yourself off at all. Only through whatever you're doing with them or they're doing to you. Eventually your brain will reprogram when it learns it doesn't get to cum like it's used to. Long answer, go look up some info on death grip syndrome.
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Aug 14, 2018 23:38
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Eyespy posted:Are you using name brand or off-brand Pristiq? I had ED issues with the store brand but have been fine with the genuine article. Genuine article, AFAIK. It says Pristiq on the box and looks like it according to GIS. I've just started weaning off them as of Sunday onto Cymbalta at 60mg. Both SNRIs, so hopefully that means there'll be little of the "down" period. Back to actual sexual performance etc, the only issue here about taking turns is that I've started seeing multiple women, so I'm trying to make a good impression but the boner-kill thing comes up because I'm doing a lot of fun foreplay beforehand and taking turns isn't really an option just yet.
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Aug 15, 2018 05:46
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dadrips posted:Has anybody else had experience with this before, and if so, how did they deal with it? I do get the feeling that whatever the solution is, it's probably not going to be an overnight one It's a perennial topic. Quit wanking, and the problem will probably take care of itself. You could also wank with lots of lube, or with a condom. Basically you've trained the sensitivity out of your dick. Ease up on the throttle and the sensitivity will return. e: I mean, the OP pretty much says it all: Turtlicious posted:“I can’t come during vaginal sex” (male) Hyperlynx fucked around with this message at 11:38 on Aug 15, 2018 |
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Aug 15, 2018 11:35
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The hard thing about the death grip is that if you can't cum without it, you just don't get to cum. It's not easy to get to that point and resist the temptation to just keep doing it the way you always do just this time so you can finish. But if you keep giving your dick what it's used to you'll never change it.
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Aug 15, 2018 14:20
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Thanks for the replies everybody! I've come across sites talking about the death grip and have cut out the wanking almost completely, and if I do it's much less aggressive than it once was. I haven't noticed much of a difference yet, but given I've spent at least a decade hammering myself into submission over a stupid amount of porn it's probably going to take longer than a few weeks to recover 
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Aug 16, 2018 19:46
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As a man, how can you find dominant women or hint effectively that you want them to be? Even when a woman's clearly interested in me and has a dominant personality they always wait for me to make the move and they're basically submissive after that. When what I really want is to be objectified and treated like their servant. It might be because I'm 6'5 and buff so there's a preconception about what role I should be, but that shouldn't mean it's impossible.
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Aug 18, 2018 06:51
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Anecdotal, but every dom woman I've known, which aren't many, have either been into women or little scrawny girly dudes.
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Aug 18, 2018 06:56
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Guess they're dominating me on one level by preventing me from getting what I want. But I don't even need to be submissive all the time. Just sometimes. Once in a blue moon. Thinking about either joining FetLife to find a dominatrix or committing a serious crime with a woman as a witness so she can blackmail me.
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Aug 18, 2018 07:08
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Nah there's plllllenty of dominant women who are into gladiator types. If the big thing you want is kink compatibility, then you need to look based on that qualification. Tl;dr fetlife
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Aug 18, 2018 08:41
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Also don't joint fetlife and start messaging random women. Find stuff going on in your local area and go make some friends.
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Aug 18, 2018 11:20
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I've read through this thread and was tempted to make a throwaway account but gently caress it, I'm not ashamed of having a sex life. My question is short but sweet: Are there any tips or resources on giving amazing head to a male? My partner tells me I'm the best he's ever had and consistently amazing, so I'm not insecure that I'm doing a bad job. I just want to be the loving best. Sex is a bit of a pain and both he and I enjoy oral (well, giving for me anyway). So yeah, I'm already pretty good I'd say but I want to blow his loving mind.
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Aug 19, 2018 04:14
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Enthusiasm, duration, edible lube Playfulness, if that's not part of enthusiasm Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8r48HzrYHE Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 06:22 on Aug 19, 2018 |
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Aug 19, 2018 06:17
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Fet is good for finding local groups and events sometimes, but ugh, the dudes who use it like a dating site are the wooorst. Breaking the goon stereotype and leaving the house for once to go to a munch or event is really the best way to find what you're looking for, or at least the start. Going to an event or a party doesn't require you to like, actively participate in what's going on, you can just meet people and talk at most events. Where I'm from, submissive dudes are rare and get snatched up quickly. You will likely have very little problem finding someone if you are open about what you're looking for and are willing to put yourself out there.
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Aug 19, 2018 11:20
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syntaxfunction posted:I've read through this thread and was tempted to make a throwaway account but gently caress it, I'm not ashamed of having a sex life. The best blowjobs are handjob-blowjob combos. Be enthusiastic, vary the pace (until you're actively working towards orgasm), and slobber on that cock. Some good hand action and lots of spit can go a long way. And obviously communicate, ask him if there's anything that he really really likes and do more of that. You can also play with the visual and psychological aspects - some partners find it incredibly hot when the person going down on them is also masturbating, for example.
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Aug 19, 2018 17:34
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Bollock Monkey posted:The best blowjobs are handjob-blowjob combos. Be enthusiastic, vary the pace (until you're actively working towards orgasm), and slobber on that cock. Some good hand action and lots of spit can go a long way. And obviously communicate, ask him if there's anything that he really really likes and do more of that. You can also play with the visual and psychological aspects - some partners find it incredibly hot when the person going down on them is also masturbating, for example.
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Aug 19, 2018 23:37
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I know buttstuff is always the answer, but what about when it isn't working? Is it more one her (and her butt) or me (and my dick)? I know that she really, really likes it when it works out, but, of the couple of times we've attempted it, the success rate is below .500. For myself, I know I've had issues keeping it up through the prep work and allowing her to take the lead. Even when I am able to stay at attention, what gets her off does nothing for me (besides, you know, the enjoyment of getting her off), and what does get me to finish, isn't her cup of tea. Lastly, I should say that I've really enjoyed everything we've been doing; it's just this one thing.
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Aug 20, 2018 10:04
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Thanks for the suggestions y'all. I am really enthusiastic (my partner told me he was surprised by it the first time) as is and we're really good at communicating likes and dislikes. Also good at duration, saliva and combo-ing. Like I said, it's amazing right now, I guess I was hoping for techniques or something I hadn't thought of? However, "keep doing what you're doing" works too I guess! PS: Please note this was not a humble brag. I was thinking I might hear something I hadn't thought of that wasn't bullshit you'd read in Cosmo or some poo poo.
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Aug 20, 2018 13:20
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BirdOfPlay posted:I know buttstuff is always the answer, but what about when it isn't working? Is it more one her (and her butt) or me (and my dick)? As a recent convert to buttstuff and as a guy who also has issues keeping it up during prep, set up your towels or whatever you're using to keep the bed clean before starting, and start your foreplay by getting her ready. My wife bought a silicone ice cube tray that makes long, narrow ice cubes that are intended to be dropped into a water bottle with a thin neck (like this) and made coconut oil "pellets" that we insert at the very beginning. This way you don't have to worry about stopping and re-applying lube as much during. Depending on your size you may want to look into getting her a plug to wear during everything leading up to anal so she's already warmed up. And if you can't last long enough to get her off use a dildo or other toy on her to completion after you're done.
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Aug 20, 2018 16:55
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BirdOfPlay posted:I know buttstuff is always the answer, but what about when it isn't working? Is it more one her (and her butt) or me (and my dick)? First, do as much of the prep work beforehand, or during some other sex act. Like, apply lube and start fingering her during oral or PIV, or break up the prep with foreplay or dirty talk, stuff like that. If you don't like anal though, idk, sex is always hard if one person isn't into it, so if there's any way you can make anal more enjoyable for yourself that's what would help the most once you got the prep work down. And buttstuff's like anything else, you suck at it at first, then get better with practice and feedback. syntaxfunction posted:Thanks for the suggestions y'all. I am really enthusiastic (my partner told me he was surprised by it the first time) as is and we're really good at communicating likes and dislikes. Also good at duration, saliva and combo-ing. Like I said, it's amazing right now, I guess I was hoping for techniques or something I hadn't thought of? Handjob plus ball action is pretty amazing, and there's a lot of different techniques you can play around with. If your man's on the dominant side, he'll probably like deepthroating and some light gagging too. Handjob/blowjob combo is still the best for sheer stimulation, but deepthroating still feels good in a unique way and it'll make him feel like a big man if he's the type.
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Aug 20, 2018 18:57
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For anal/messy: (Not the dog) For oral: 
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Aug 20, 2018 20:52
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I know we're in the sex thread but I hate seeing such a morally inept post
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Aug 20, 2018 21:16
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Geoj posted:As a recent convert to buttstuff and as a guy who also has issues keeping it up during prep, set up your towels or whatever you're using to keep the bed clean before starting, and start your foreplay by getting her ready. My wife bought a silicone ice cube tray that makes long, narrow ice cubes that are intended to be dropped into a water bottle with a thin neck (like this) and made coconut oil "pellets" that we insert at the very beginning. This way you don't have to worry about stopping and re-applying lube as much during. Depending on your size you may want to look into getting her a plug to wear during everything leading up to anal so she's already warmed up. And if you can't last long enough to get her off use a dildo or other toy on her to completion after you're done. Her wearing a plug before getting to it actually did make it easier. Unfortunately, what I failed to really articulate was: hoobajoo posted:If you don't like anal though, idk, sex is always hard if one person isn't into it, so if there's any way you can make anal more enjoyable for yourself that's what would help the most once you got the prep work down. And buttstuff's like anything else, you suck at it at first, then get better with practice and feedback. Which is a problem, because it's the only option for penetrative sex we have (neither of us are all that into oral). I guess it might've been better if I just started off by asking how do I get into anal and make feel good for me*? Alternatively, I could accept that we just won't do penetrative sex, which is just what's been happening. *Because, as I posted earlier, it's already amazing for her.
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Aug 22, 2018 08:59
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BirdOfPlay posted:I guess it might've been better if I just started off by asking how do I get into anal and make feel good for me*? Can you describe what your issue with it is? Just doesn't appeal to you, doesn't feel good or you have some kind of mental block (like its dirty, but not in a good way)?
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Aug 22, 2018 16:14
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Geoj posted:Can you describe what your issue with it is? Just doesn't appeal to you, doesn't feel good or you have some kind of mental block (like its dirty, but not in a good way)? It just doesn't feel good physically. In the act it's enjoyable but not something easily leads me to finish. Kinda like receiving oral.  I know I'm a bit in the minority on that one.
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Aug 24, 2018 19:34
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