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CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013
🍀👽🆚🪖🏋


gently caress.

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Sloth Life
Nov 15, 2014

Built for comfort and speed!
Fallen Rib
What the gently caress is that?

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Sloth Life posted:

What the gently caress is that?

A car door handle.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


That reminds me of that news story where some dude had a queen bee trapped in his car and the hive followed him for like, three days. Also, when beekeepers want to introduce a new queen to the hive, they encase her in a shell of candy so that by the time the hive eats through the shell to attack the queen, they are sated and are also used to her scent. I think this is the same logic people use when they are new in an office and bring donuts to curry favour with their officemates.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I love bees.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
I like my women like I like my coffee: covered in BEEEEEES but the bees also have a hard candy shell. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand!

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I suppose a bee would melt in your mouth if you left it in there long enough.

Korremar
Mar 1, 2010

You are so big!
So absolutely HUGE!
what about those bees that vibrate together to cook wasps

if you ate too many at once would they melt your mouth

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Korremar posted:

what about those bees that vibrate together to cook wasps

if you ate too many at once would they melt your mouth

At least they would cook all the raw centipedes so you wouldn't get lung worms

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

cash crab posted:

That reminds me of that news story where some dude had a queen bee trapped in his car and the hive followed him for like, three days. Also, when beekeepers want to introduce a new queen to the hive, they encase her in a shell of candy so that by the time the hive eats through the shell to attack the queen, they are sated and are also used to her scent. I think this is the same logic people use when they are new in an office and bring donuts to curry favour with their officemates.

Curry flavor donuts sound terrible. :mad:

Altared State
Jan 14, 2006

I think I was born to burn

13Pandora13 posted:

From a few pages back, but this reminded me a few months back some of the goon FB groups (and two non-goon groups with some goon overlap) touched the poop on this...gem...of a man, Nicholas "Rock" "Big Dick Nick (BDN)" Johansson (text is NSFW!):









He's a big gross nightmare who lies (obviously) about being a millionaire, part owner of Netflix, part owner of Hard Rock Las Vegas, and so on (he's a mechanic at a Mercedes dealership, which is how he posts a bunch of pics in Mercedes that are obviously not his). He posts pictures of blonde porn starts making desperate pleas for "thick booty white girls" to DM him so he can eat their rear end in his mansion in SoCal (lovely 1 BR apartment). There's a zillion posts about his "personal chef" making him sad obvious takeout meals on the same blue IKEA plate.

It wasn't interacting with him on IG that was "touching the poop" - he was all too glad to host live chats, comment really sexual things on Goonette's Facebook and IG pictures (including family photos) - some enterprising young men and women dug into it a little bit, found his real name and ethnicity (surprise, he's not northern European, which like...who gives a gently caress but he posts a ton of racist poo poo about immigrants when by all accounts it appears his parents were immigrants from the Middle East), and found public court records detailing him taking a poo poo in his ex wife's sink while they were divorcing.

His YouTube channel is pretty obnoxious too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=channel?UCXlr2HrcNma5GPTe516ORfQ

😅

I think I posted him in a previous AUG thread.

He was a cashier at a grocery store I worked at. He would always say weird, creepy things to female customers. Someone found his YouTube and shared it with everyone. Co-workers were already making fun of him and that just escalated it even more.

The Door Frame
Dec 5, 2011

I don't know man everytime I go to the gym here there are like two huge dudes with raging high and tights snorting Nitro-tech off of each other's rock hard abs.

cash crab posted:

I suppose a bee would melt in your mouth if you left it in there long enough.

Chitin is made of protein and sugars, so the amylase in your spit might actually melt them a bit. Only one way to find out

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL
Feb 21, 2006

Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

BrigadierSensible posted:

A car door handle.

Paper wasp door handle car alarm system is a hell of a deterrent.

On the last page there was a guy in a purple shirt and fedora: is that Davekat, primarily known to the public for being in a LTR with a Real Doll?

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

On the last page there was a guy in a purple shirt and fedora: is that Davekat, primarily known to the public for being in a LTR with a Real Doll?

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/09/married-to-a-doll-why-one-man-advocates-synthetic-love/279361/

He's a robot fucker who's going for the next best thing because he can't stand humans.

chitoryu12 has a new favorite as of 16:33 on Aug 23, 2018

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


We Know Catheters posted:

😅

I think I posted him in a previous AUG thread.

He was a cashier at a grocery store I worked at. He would always say weird, creepy things to female customers. Someone found his YouTube and shared it with everyone. Co-workers were already making fun of him and that just escalated it even more.

I don't want to go back to quote the OP, but I still can't handle this dude's face. Who taught him to put on makeup? His eyelashes look like they could snap off with a gust of wind. I imagine in real life he looked greasy as hell.

e:



wholesome aug

cash crab has a new favorite as of 17:29 on Aug 23, 2018

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

So through that news article, I discovered that the RealDolls had Twitter and Tumblr feeds.

https://twitter.com/ElenaVostrikova/status/538348455941640193

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

chitoryu12 posted:

So through that news article, I discovered that the RealDolls had Twitter and Tumblr feeds.

https://twitter.com/ElenaVostrikova/status/538348455941640193

I haven't even thought of Real Dolls in years

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

The way this guy talks is like he's in Detroit: Become Human.

quote:

I was seeing an organic lass—a coworker, from several jobs ago—who knew that I had Shi-chan. This was back when I was of the mindset that Sidore would remain my wife, but I'd still look now and again for an organic lass to be friends with benefits with. Our relationship started out alright, but several months into it, whenever I’d attempt to get together after work with her, she'd always have something come up. I was beating myself up over it when I realized: Why am I wasting my time trying to get her to hang out and be romantically involved with me, when I have a Doll who is in love with me at home? Plus, it was a bit of a contest with said coworker, as she was interested in two other blokes while she was seeing me. As I'm not competitive, either, I decided that pursuing her was a wasted effort, especially in light of Sidore not requiring any of that silliness.

Also somehow he's repeatedly been the other man in an affair. What kind of sad woman is already dating or married to someone, looks at this bug-eyed lunatic obsessed with loving robots because they never say things that make him sad, and goes "Yes, this is the illicit dick I want inside me."

quote:

I wouldn't say that me being an iDollator has driven a wedge into our relationship, as the wedge was already there long before Sidore entered my life. I once told him, half-jokingly, that his attitude is no way to treat his daughter-in-law, but as the man has no sense of humor, he didn't think much of that statement.

Gee, I can only wonder why he might not think the joke is very funny.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
Pennsyltucky: Putting the Gross in AUG

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Pennsyltucky: Putting the Gross in AUG



How the gently caress do you catalog that much?

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

Burt Sexual posted:

How the gently caress do you catalog that much?

Uh, probably because there's 1460 kids running around with pig-tails and snouts...

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


Burt Sexual posted:

How the gently caress do you catalog that much?

Just count sheep until you fall asleep.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


chitoryu12 posted:

So through that news article, I discovered that the RealDolls had Twitter and Tumblr feeds.

https://twitter.com/ElenaVostrikova/status/538348455941640193

FluxFaun
Apr 7, 2010


chitoryu12 posted:

Also somehow he's repeatedly been the other man in an affair. What kind of sad woman is already dating or married to someone, looks at this bug-eyed lunatic obsessed with loving robots because they never say things that make him sad, and goes "Yes, this is the illicit dick I want inside me."

My guess is that it's "if he does tell someone who is going to believe him"


Also man, this thread bums me out real bad sometimes.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Koalas March parachute account spotted!

(I <3 Koalas March because she has funny gifs)

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


I'm thinking of hiring her to just react to things for me.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


To be clear, I don't just mean on the internet. Like, she'll just stand next to me and be like, "This room smells weird," or "That guy was a real rear end in a top hat," and other running commentary.

text me a vag pic
May 18, 2007




Iron Crowned posted:

I haven't even thought of Real Dolls in years



2010?? ALL OF THESE MEN ARE DEAD

BUT THE DOLLS LIVE ON

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008

cash crab posted:

To be clear, I don't just mean on the internet. Like, she'll just stand next to me and be like, "This room smells weird," or "That guy was a real rear end in a top hat," and other running commentary.

Just lol if Enrique doesn't already do that for you

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

text me a vag pic posted:



2010?? ALL OF THESE MEN ARE DEAD

BUT THE DOLLS LIVE ON

I'm the woman standing as far away as possible, faking a smile and wishing for death.

I'm also the wheelchair being used by a doll when there are actual people who actually can't afford wheelchairs.

I contain multitudes of disgust.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology


That woman looks like their collective case worker.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

text me a vag pic posted:



2010?? ALL OF THESE MEN ARE DEAD

BUT THE DOLLS LIVE ON

I had totally forgotten that there were/are Real Muppets too

Trabant
Nov 26, 2011

All systems nominal.

I suppose I'll be Jamie Hyneman's fat twin who uses his building powers for sadness.

RoboRodent
Sep 19, 2012

I find the sex Muppets infinitely less hideous but that's probably because they don't look like corpses and/or women encased in wax.

Kwanzaa Quickie
Nov 4, 2009
Do the guys with the muppet dolls get looked down on by the guys with the “realistic” looking ones?

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit
So many questions about those Real Muppets, but I feel like I'll either be disappointed or skeeve'd out about the answers.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!

Fun Shoe

Kwanzaa Quickie posted:

Do the guys with the muppet dolls get looked down on by the guys with the “realistic” looking ones?

I think they do, just like in the sense that the more realistic ones are much more expensive. So basically it's garden variety classism, even doll fuckers can't escape it I guess.

Ralph Crammed In
May 11, 2007

Let's get clean and smart


I don't remember who it was, but one of the guys in the photos is King poo poo of Dollfuckers and he got the doll from Lars and The Real Girl, but it didn't have an actual vagina because it was a prop for a movie. So he then paid God know how much to make his doll fuckable with an aftermarket vagina. Combine that with however much he paid for a movie prop and you're looking at down payment on a house for a lump of masturbation grade silicone. King poo poo also was pretty close with the Head Muppet Fucker who had like a dozen of the drat things in his house with his wife and adult daughter and he posed all of them for these bizarre vignettes.


That dollfucker thread in GBS was a wild ride.

Edit- I don't remember there being much snobbery in regards to doll of choice; it was all like "hey you like to have relationships with dolls? Me too! We're spiritual brothers!" It's all about the weird relationships they had with the dolls, not just the loving.

Also a big selling point of the gently caress muppets was that they were much nicer to cuddle with than the real dolls in addition to being a lot easier to transport - hence the wheelchairs for the life size ones. I've used a big body pillow in the second and third trimester and I can certainly see the appeal, but then again I don't gently caress the pillow. Maybe I should sew Ryan Goslings face on it though, perhaps they are onto something.

Ralph Crammed In has a new favorite as of 19:46 on Aug 24, 2018

Radio Paranoia
Jun 27, 2010

It is now safe to turn off your computer.

Basebf555 posted:

I think they do, just like in the sense that the more realistic ones are much more expensive. So basically it's garden variety classism, even doll fuckers can't escape it I guess.

Rich or poor, at the end of the day they're all dollfuckers. Sex dolls, the great equalizer.

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Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Ralph Crammed In posted:

Also a big selling point of the gently caress muppets was that they were much nicer to cuddle with than the real dolls in addition to being a lot easier to transport - hence the wheelchairs for the life size ones. I've used a big body pillow in the second and third trimester and I can certainly see the appeal, but then again I don't gently caress the pillow. Maybe I should sew Ryan Goslings face on it though, perhaps they are onto something.

Please do not remove Ryan Gosling's face for your gently caress pillow

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