Smoking Crow posted:

It's amazing how he attracts the worst takes on a consistent basis

GEORGE W BUSHI posted:

That guy suggesting that Progress or Gabe's array of promotions are better than CMLL is offensive.

quote:

Congratulations Kairi Sane, on becoming the NXT Women’s Champion!

I have to admit, I did not see that coming. Granted, Kairi beat Shayna Baszler before in the Mae Young Classic, but who could see Baszler dropping the Women’s strap so soon after winning it? And I’ll say one thing, Kairi dazzled in the match. I have no knowledge of her before WWE, aside from knowing she is touted as one of the very best professional wrestlers in the world from an in-ring perspective, and I’ll say she showed why in their title match at Takeover: Brooklyn a week ago.

I thoroughly enjoyed this match. In fact, I’ve watched it twice, as there are values in this match that I appreciate as a fan very much. Like I mentioned above, Kairi truly impressed me with her in-ring skills, though part of why I am so surprised by the result is because of how fantastic Shayna played the villain in this match. In fact, I have to say Shayna is a bit of a natural at being a heel. She plays her part beautifully. It made for a truly enjoyable experience watching Shayna relish in bending the rules just slightly multiple times, in order to injure Kairi. And Shayna sold those moments so very well with her facial expressions.

Another reason I watched the match multiple times though, was a fascination with how each competitor is on the complete opposite end of the skill spectrum in terms of pro wrestling. As I mentioned, Shayna played the heel so gorgeously in this match, and Kairi wowed with her in-ring efforts, but neither wrestler is rounded, at all. Why? Well if you watched I suspect you already know that Shayna is real inexperienced as a pro wrestler. In moments her timing is bad, and her selling is, at times, terrible. I’m not referring to the kind of selling that makes Shayna look badass for no selling, but rather moments of not reacting to offense that completely defies the laws of physics, and pulls aside the curtain on professional wrestling’s sense of realism. And despite that, I think the wrong woman won. I think Shayna Baszler should have retained the title.

Why? A few reasons. One being that Shayna was this green before she won the title, so if NXT/WWE officials really thought her inexperience was a deal breaker, than why put the strap on her in the first place? She deserved to have a true run with the belt, to see how she handles being a champ, while simultaneously improving. And in her defense, she is practically brand new to pro wrestling, considering that, she has a ton of upside. The other reason? Kairi Sane’s character work is absolutely abysmal.

Why take the Women’s title off one inexperienced wrestler, and put it on another? Now I realize there will probably be a few people that will scoff at the notion of Kairi Sane being inexperienced, or green, but let’s just recap her character/persona….

She is a gentle, peaceful, loving pirate…


Shiver me timberlands?

Yes, you read that right. And I know, in terms of laws of averages, there has to be at least one pirate in the history of the world that fits that description, but that doesn’t mean their adventures would make for compelling entertainment. Where is the conflict? That she cannot possibly hug everyone?


Kairi prances to the ring, smiling from ear to ear the entire time, while posing all cutesy with a ship wheel prop, and showering the fans with love and positivity. Not to mention in the ring, her persona plays out like someone who is perseverant, but upbeat. Just a happy go lucky pirate. For those of you who haven’t watched her yet, it is as hilariously bad as it sounds. Hell, based on current character work, Shayna makes a much more convincing Pirate!


To be completely honest, Sane reminds me of Finn Balor, and Shinsuke Nakamura, in that she is fantastic in the ring, but her character work stinks out loud- just neutered of any and all true bite or sting, like a character at Disney World. Finn is a demon? How could you tell? Because he does one more Sling Blade in his match, and he wears goofy makeup? He still does the exact same moveset as the Demon, and still does all the same graceful poses for the camera. Last I checked, demons were more angry than graceful and posey. And Shinsuke… ugh. I’m sorry, I know this will catch poo poo, but the guy, even as a heel, is cartoonish in his mannerisms and reactions. I’m not buying your angst when you sway, dance, and Michael Jackson pose down to the ring, and through the match. It just smacks realism. Which is exactly what I’m seeing with Kairi.


The point is, ultimately, that I see a lot of potential in Kairi Sane. With in-ring skills of that caliber, if she could truly feel her character, and get inside of it to portray something tangible, her ability as a professional wrestler would be astronomical. She’d be better than Shinsuke Nakamura, and Finn Balor combined. What do I mean? I’ll frustratingly answer that with a question…

When you hear the word, “pirate”, what comes to mind?

Odds are it is not what Kairi is portraying. To me, pirate means mangy, dirty, greedy, hungry, moralesless, unruly. It is the one thing Johnny Depp did well in his career- play a scumbag. A pirate! You see, a pirate lived on the fringe of society. It was boon or bust for them. And boon meant many innocent people died, in order for them to survive. Times were that tough. Granted, I know that is hard to fathom in 2018, considering we moan about equality, freedom, and oppression, and yet we have it absolutely made compared to our ancestors, especially in the days of pirates, but being a pirate meant you killed to survive. Now imagine Kairi Sane as a blood thirsty pirate…

Hilarious, right? Cause her gimmick currently sucks in comparison. She plays it too dainty, photogenic, and cute. And a hard truth, it will land her on the plank when she gets the call up to the main roster- jobbing to the women with actual creative backing. NXT fans are just happy to see technical, in-ring skills, but this environment is too gentle to prepare her for what she will be up against on the main roster. With a gimmick like hers currently, she is a cartoon character- crushed by competitors on Smackdown- on the way to their own personal booty.

Kairi could truly be great though, if she embodied what it is to truly be a pirate. Be a dirty rear end in a top hat, Kairi. Do anything it takes to survive. Be a Scurvy, nasty, unscrupulous jerk. Hell, be a drunk if they allow it. Carry a bottle of “booze” to the ring instead of a loving toy wheel. Let the alcohol do the talking, like Stone Cold did so many years ago. Tap into that flaming vengeance, and take no prisoners. Stop photo opting, and be a damned pirate!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcLpNP8jwRo

Imagine a female Captain Jack Sparrow on the roster, and tell me that gimmick wouldn’t print money? Kairi could be that if she stops this gentle Mickey Mouse bullshit, and embraces her character for what it truly is-a dirty, grimey, mangy, drunken abomination. Tough as nails, seemingly never dying, a constant annoyance and fear to anyone she crosses paths with. Even at times, seemingly pulling luck out of thin air when all else fails, then play it off like she planned it. Stealing everything not nailed down, and being that person in the room that makes everyone else uneasy. Fans.will.eat.it.up...

"Anarchy! The scourge of every sea! The antichrist aboard a rig, with us your cutthroat thieves.”

As fans, we would be crew on her ship, and she, our bonnie lass- the pirate queen. She couldn’t ever steer us wrong, because she would possess our hearts.

She truly is that capable. If she would string her character work together, she could cement herself a legacy in the leagues of Davy Jones. A legend among women, men, and thieves. But character work means putting aside good will, and cheery disposition- putting away the act, and truly owning the part.

Honestly, the last thing we need is another smiley faced, glad handed do gooder on the main roster. At present, the majority of the women up there are faceless, bland, babies just doing an assortment of pretty poses for the cameras. Putting one of those ladies in a happy pirate gimmick just feels like the final snag in our anchor rope, we will never reach the inviting shores of Tortuga to piss away all our ill gotten gains this way.

We need a captain. And Kairi Sane could become one if she embraces what it truly means to be a pirate. And in days like these, in WWE, when the words Women’s Revolution are uttered so often, a true revolution will be felt from true character work. Be something larger than life Kairi, not just a down to Earth, fancy pirate cosplay girl. Live your character, bleed your character, unlike so many in these modern times, be your character! And bounty will follow, along with infamy. A history of being one of the greats of all-time. A true scourge of the seven seas. It could all be yours, Kairi, if ye just gain yer sea legs ya salty dog!

DarkstarIV posted:

Prepare for a lot of about how Kairi is bad apparently. Courtesy of Lords of Pain.




tl;dr: Guy is REALLY mad that Kairi won the title, despite claiming otherwise. Bitches about how she's inexperienced or whatever, unlike Shayna who deserves the title more, because it should be put on your greenest talents. Kairi needs to become an edgy pirate as well, because that's the only way she'll find success apparently.

Rarity posted:

...She just likes yachts

Gumball Gumption posted:

That's a lot of words to say "I don't care about workrate and don't like white meat babyfaces".

coconono posted:

she literally transforms into a loving anchor when does an elbow drop, what more do you want? bowed legs from scurvy?

And WWE already tried Jack Sparrow and it was terrible.

Aesop Poprock posted:

Tbf didn’t Burchil play more of a 40s style swashbuckler because Vince had no idea who Jack Sparrow was and didn’t get the gimmick?

Smoking Crow posted:

Good week for bad lucha takes

https://twitter.com/Maffewgregg/status/1034103885810552832?s=19

TinTower posted:

coconono posted:

well did he fuckin do it or not?

Writer Cath posted:

Hahaha, worrying his friends, family and law enforcement was nothing but a big joke. Isn't that hilarious?

triplexpac posted:

https://twitter.com/ryandroyd/status/1035670442411839488?s=21

DJExile posted:

holy poo poo

what was the spot?

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Basically think of how kids use their hands to pretend they have a gun, then add a 3 way gun standoff from every dumb action movie

coconono posted:

its funny because Cornette yells that these guys are all on outlaw mud shows when he's the one that only gets booked for money mark vanity feds that'll coddle his balls constantly.

I think he's confused who is making money wrestling these days.

Germansimp posted:

At this point I hope if there ever is an All In 2, it will have a special "Give Jim Cornette a heart attack - Battle Royal", featuring spots like Kenny Omega wrestling a 9-year old girl; Joey Ryan doing dick spots; the Bucks doing nonstop superkicks; Dan Barry, Archibald Peck, etc doing finger gun spots; Chuck Taylor; Danshoku Dino and XO Luscius doing their thing; a random jobber in a ninja turtle suit, and a guy in a bad toupet with a ping pong bat getting thrown off a scaffold; and of course New Jack trying to get his money from said guy.

Written by Vince Russo

Dangerous Person posted:

Some time ago my friend and I came up with a hypothetical indie show called Kill Jim. It was gonna be a card full of people that Jim Cornette hated. The only thing I can remember from it was that the main event was gonna be Vince Russo, played by Joey Ryan, going over Jim Cornette, played by Chuck Taylor