Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

https://mobile.twitter.com/InsideEdition/status/1035972988980670464

https://mobile.twitter.com/nypost/status/1035580736827535360

The story gets weirder

quote:

A vast medley of rare insects and lizards worth more than $40,000, including a venomous, six-eyed spider, are missing from the Philadelphia Insectarium and Butterfly Pavilion.

Police and pavilion staff suspect the robbery was an inside job, The New York Times reported, as security footage reveals people in the museum last week holding plastic containers containing some of the missing insects.Overall, around 7,000 animals – that's approximately 80 to 90 percent of the insectarium's population – have been stolen.

The robbery took place Wednesday, Aug. 22, but it's likely that the thieves continued to take insects throughout the week. Once the robbery was discovered, staff found two blue employee shirts stuck to the wall with knives.

To make things even more difficult, they also stole the logs kept by staff to keep insect information organized, so it's harder to estimate exactly how many, and which insects have been taken.
Some insects, including a Mexican fire
leg tarantula, have been returned by police.

A six-eyed sand spider, one of the most venomous in the world, however, is still missing.

Another disturbing robbery: Thousands and thousands of cockroaches. As if there weren't enough already, the thieves took many cockroach colonies, each of which contains thousands of roaches.

# ? Sep 1, 2018 23:36

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:05

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 1, 2018 23:44

Ape Agitator: Feb 19, 2004; Soylent Green is Monkeys; College Slice

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/InsideEdition/status/1035972988980670464

https://mobile.twitter.com/nypost/status/1035580736827535360

The story gets weirder

No kidding. Were the shirts from existing employees as a threat, from the inside man as a final middle finger?

And how do you fence a cockroach colony? Is there a black market for those things or is some a Romanian Zoo suddenly going to open a roach petting zoo?

# ? Sep 2, 2018 00:16

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Those insects are worth more than me

# ? Sep 2, 2018 00:23

ncumbered_by_idgits: Sep 20, 2008

Samuringa posted:

Those insects are worth more than me

As in like a net worth type of deal or your value to society?

# ? Sep 2, 2018 01:17

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

Honestly, both.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 01:18

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

Reminds me of a story I heard on NPR recently about someone who burgled a museum to get rare feathers for fly fishing lures. There's an entire community that makes them as they're described in books from the 1800s or whatever and a lot of the materials those recipes call for are from species that are now protected.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 05:33

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Volcott posted:

Reminds me of a story I heard on NPR recently about someone who burgled a museum to get rare feathers for fly fishing lures. There's an entire community that makes them as they're described in books from the 1800s or whatever and a lot of the materials those recipes call for are from species that are now protected.

My clever plan to avoid breaking the law is to commit felony burglary.

Fishing people are weird.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 06:50

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

Volcott posted:

Reminds me of a story I heard on NPR recently about someone who burgled a museum to get rare feathers for fly fishing lures. There's an entire community that makes them as they're described in books from the 1800s or whatever and a lot of the materials those recipes call for are from species that are now protected.

This one? Because yeah, that's quite a story.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 18:37

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

https://twitter.com/WhySharksMatter/status/1036044652820877313

# ? Sep 2, 2018 20:28

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

Bears are usually very polite in Canada, obviously.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 00:14

BgRdMchne: Oct 31, 2011

The MSJ posted:

Bears are usually very polite in Canada, obviously.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pLsM2ijRao

# ? Sep 3, 2018 01:09

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 3, 2018 01:14

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

BgRdMchne posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pLsM2ijRao

FAACK U, BERR

# ? Sep 3, 2018 01:19

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

https://twitter.com/KXAN_News/status/988418237367975936

# ? Sep 3, 2018 01:52

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

Samuringa posted:

https://twitter.com/KXAN_News/status/988418237367975936

Do not be fooled, nature! This man is just taking part in an ongoing dark ritual to obtain your powers!

# ? Sep 3, 2018 02:01

Barry Bluejeans: Feb 2, 2017; ATTENTHUN THITIZENTH

The MSJ posted:

Do not be fooled, nature! This man is just taking part in an ongoing dark ritual to obtain your powers!

Animorphs are real, and their existence is hell.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 02:20

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan/status/1036398238478168064

# ? Sep 3, 2018 02:22

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

This is dumb, but I liked how it got cropped. :mmmhmm:

# ? Sep 3, 2018 02:40

The Merkinman: Apr 22, 2007; I sell only quality merkins. What is a merkin you ask? Why, it's a wig for your genitals!

artsy fartsy posted:

This is dumb, but I liked how it got cropped.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 03:07

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan/status/1036398238478168064

doobie no

# ? Sep 3, 2018 03:09

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

The MSJ posted:

Bears are usually very polite in Canada, obviously.

Meanwhile, in America.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5cMZymSr0

Samuringa posted:

https://twitter.com/KXAN_News/status/988418237367975936

I believe this man has cancer

# ? Sep 3, 2018 05:37

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Samuringa posted:

https://twitter.com/KXAN_News/status/988418237367975936

Wasn't there some dude in FL that had been bitten by a snake, shark, punched by a monkey, and struck by lightning? (not at the same time, which would be :black101:

as gently caress)

I wonder if they're related.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 05:44

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Proteus Jones posted:

Wasn't there some dude in FL that had been bitten by a snake, shark, punched by a monkey, and struck by lightning?

You're going to need to be more specific.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 06:12

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

You're going to need to be more specific.

Found it

https://www.ksl.com/?sid=26336838

Best part:

quote:

The New York Daily News also reports that he was attacked by monkeys twice, once because he wandered too close to a simian while in the Amazon. The second time was the result of a joke, of sorts, played by his wife.

She locked Norrie in a cage with a small monkey, which then proceeded to bite, hit and pelt him with his own keys. His wife, Spryng, wasn't worried, though.

"She took photos and giggled," he said.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 15:39

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

True love is locking your partner into a confined space for extended periods of time

# ? Sep 3, 2018 15:43

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

"Spryng"

# ? Sep 3, 2018 16:20

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Fathis Munk posted:

"Spryng"

Could also have been Wyntr, Sumyr, or Fll

# ? Sep 3, 2018 16:23

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Proteus Jones posted:

Found it

https://www.ksl.com/?sid=26336838

Best part:

Spryng.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 16:30

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; I'M FEELING JIMMY

BgRdMchne posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pLsM2ijRao

https://youtu.be/dIfZKdZEJNQ

# ? Sep 3, 2018 17:21

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Proteus Jones posted:

Found it

https://www.ksl.com/?sid=26336838

Best part:

Florida Man's origin story seems needlessly complex.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 17:37

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

He was bitten by a radioactive Florida, that's all you need to know. Everything else is retcon.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 18:51

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 4, 2018 02:15

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

I saw that movie! The best part was when Buster Keaton started kicking Chester Conklin in the rear end and lit his helmet on fire.

~~~only 1910s kids will know what this means~~~

# ? Sep 4, 2018 04:27

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Samuringa posted:

https://twitter.com/KXAN_News/status/988418237367975936

Clearly this man is delicious.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 05:37

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Bude supermarket tunnel tops TripAdvisor ratings at Cornish seaside resort

quote:

The 70-metre long structure has attracted 149 "excellent" reviews describing it as the town's "crowning jewel" and "a modern Taj Mahal" that warrants a place as one of the seven wonders of the world.

Other visitors have praised its "handcrafted Cornish Perspex", its panoramic views, and its proximity to shops, parking and a cash machine.

"On visiting Bude this summer we must have picked the only rainy day so we popped in to the supermarket picked up some pasties got our holding chairs out of the car and set up a picnic in the tunnel and at one point the sun came out and created a wonderful rainbow though the roof," said one reviewer who gave it the top rating.

It has even been described as a "great place for a divorce" by a user known only as Anne, who wrote: "The walk back through the elongated tunnel felt like the first step towards freedom from Steven and his massive collection of recorders."

# ? Sep 4, 2018 13:40

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Pookah posted:

Bude supermarket tunnel tops TripAdvisor ratings at Cornish seaside resort

loving "Recorder" Steven, I tell you what.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 13:42

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Holy poo poo, I was expecting some massive vaulted cathedral of glass and steel, arched over a roadway between ancient structures built from hand carved stone.

Not some rear end ugly plastic tube in a parking lot.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 17:21

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

"Handcrafted Cornish Perspex" is a gloriously silly phrase.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 17:26

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:05

Big Grunty Secret: Aug 28, 2007; Just one question, though. Is there a way to take off my pants?

U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"

# ? Sep 5, 2018 15:23

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