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blackswordca posted:To in person stuff when a PC is so loaded with malware and a browser history full of kink, the minefield of who to have the conversation with so you don't destroy a marriage, or having to crawl under a desk, looking up and regretting looking up. I know I've told this story before in this thread but when I was working in Best Buy I had a self described "God Fearing" couple come in, going all crazy because they caught their teenage nephew looking at porn on their laptop and they wanted to make sure that FILTH wasn't infecting their laptop. I took the quick route and look at their browser history and sure enough, in the timeframe they gave me there was some really vanilla pornhub videos. And months and months before that when the kid didn't have access to the computer, tons and tons of trans porn. Hundreds of streaming videos of trans porn. I deleted that browser history and kept quiet, I wasn't letting this crazy woman know what her husband was looking at. I got you, bro. Your secret is safe with me. blackswordca posted:people shooting their laptops to get a replacement for accidental damage as it being slow didn't qualify. I also had a woman who brought in her laptop in a number of ziplock bags. When I asked what happened to it, she said "My baby got to it." She absolutely did not appreciate it when I asked if her baby was a fully grown grizzly bear. The heat sink fins were bent. How the gently caress do you even do that? Never in my life have I ever saw so much damage to a laptop. Every single part of that computer was damaged beyond salvaging. Renegret fucked around with this message at 22:53 on Sep 6, 2018 |
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Sep 6, 2018 22:51
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GreenBuckanneer posted:Oh..... I’ve been online for too long, so my default state was to assume adult diaper fetish.
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Sep 6, 2018 23:01
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Thanks Ants posted:I’ve been online for too long, so my default state was to assume adult diaper fetish.
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Sep 6, 2018 23:28
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AlternateAccount posted:When I worked retail computing, I had a guy come in with an old white MacBook. Needed some RAM, so I asked him to boot it up so I could make sure of what he had and get him the right stuff. It fires up, a web browser is open, so I minimize it. The dude's wallpaper was a woman, a not particularly attractive woman, striking a very Captain Morgan pose and shot from a slightly low angle. Totally naked. With what appeared to be a substantial weight in various rings and jewelry pierced into her nether regions. Ever the professional, I just whipped the machine around on the counter so no one else could see it and looked up what I needed to look up. Back in the day I worked in the tech bay at Best Buy when a younger guy comes in, college age. Puts the desktop on the counter, I hook it up to the monitor that can be seen by half the store, only to boot it up and find his desktop pic was a woman on her knees, surrounded by dicks covered in come, shot from above so she looks like a weird white creamy flower. Turned that monitor around so quick while he just kind of laughed nervously that his friends must have put that there.
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Sep 7, 2018 00:20
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Thanks Ants posted:I’ve been online for too long, so my default state was to assume adult diaper fetish. A ticket came in: my default state was to assume adult diaper fetish
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Sep 7, 2018 02:54
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wolrah posted:Teamviewer has an option to automatically disable the wallpaper when you connect remotely. Officially it's to reduce bandwidth requirements, but not seeing the nonsense users put there (regardless of why they're doing it) is a great secondary benefit. even if I accidently saw this dude, as per other comments I think Ive seen enough shock images that I just don't care anymore. If he hinted "can you see my wallpaper" I'd be all like "nah slows me down I turn that poo poo off" until he got bored. I like annoying weirdos in this way.
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Sep 7, 2018 11:56
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 happened! My current job termed the helpdesk guy in June 2017, and due to a hiring freeze and politics, we could only get a contractor and even then their start was delayed to Jan 2018. There was no conversion to full-time guaranteed, and we made the contractor aware, but after we extended it in April, he asked if there was any chance of going FT. I couldn't guarantee, nor could my boss, and he looked elsewhere, leaving in mid-April. I've been doing helpdesk for 12 out of the last 15 months, for all intents and purposes, all the while the corporate IT people at our HQ were taking the projects back in house. I work (and as of 9/24, worked) for a radio station, so the stuff I did do had more to do with the radio industry and broadcasting than anything applicable in the senior sysadmin side of things. It was a really cool place to work - hip-hop and sports luminaries were in and out, I ran into ICP once, and it was pretty cool. My first T-shirt-and-jeans dress code. The new job is a slight salary bump but I'm going to be doing infrastructure engineering and working way more with Azure and O365, finally. I can telecommute if and when I want, I'm ~*~salaried non-exempt~*~, I've got 850 stock units that vest over 4 years, and a slightly easier commute with only two transfers rather than 3. Wish me luck, thread, I lurk here a lot and coming from a position where I had to reboot toilets and schlep around copper piping alongside my normal IT crap, it'll be nice to get back to the meat and potatoes of what I want to do.
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Sep 7, 2018 16:45
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^^^ Good luck! A ticket came in: "I did the required training but mysteriously the system did not report me as complete!" A second ticket came in, different person: "I did the required training but mysteriously the system did not report me as complete!" Both tickets come in curiously close to the date when people receive notifications of any raise they were awarded; and raises are generally contingent on being in compliance with training. I want to give both folks the benefit of the doubt, so I craft a custom report to check the system and see if they even tried to access the training before the due date. Nope. A third ticket comes in, from VP: "These two people swear they did the training. Are you sure they didn't?"
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Sep 7, 2018 18:19
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If a couple of large-denomination bills mysteriously appear on your desk from each of them by end of day, they might well have.
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Sep 7, 2018 18:31
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MJP posted:
One of my best friends is a radio music director so I've heard a ton of stories about working in the industry, good luck on the new job and commute upgrade !!
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Sep 7, 2018 18:41
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blackswordca posted:As frustrating as corporate can be, I just look back to my consumer days to remind myself it's not that bad. I did 8 years as a consumer cable tech for Comcast and I literally still have nightmares. I would love to tell stories, but they would be extremely long and disturbing for most people that haven't been there. As it happens, my office at my current gig is in an MDF closet at a school that was recently remodeled. They just had the alarm guy in to finish up some minor wiring (the alarm boxes are literally right above my desk) and while he was working he was telling me how much he likes this gig over doing consumer stuff, and how horrifying his first day on the job was when his very first call involved needing to crawl through a small lake of cat piss that had dropped down through a semi-rotten floor underneath a trailer. Later, I was thinking back to that conversation, and I realized that my reaction wasn't even "ew, gross", it was "Ha, I bet it was that trailer park up on Dupont Road, wasn't it?". Of course it was, that's where all the crazy-rear end poo poo happens. I told him how I had a gig there that was also a massive cat piss bomb, but when I got inside the dude had a car door mounted on the wall that had a picture of a big-dicked anthropomorphic dragon painted on it, you know, in that typically bad "furry art" style, and that most of the rest of the available wall space was covered in printouts of BDSM porn. Longest 8 years of my life, that gig. Too much humanity, man. Too much.
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Sep 7, 2018 18:43
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nominal posted:I did 8 years as a consumer cable tech for Comcast and I literally still have nightmares. 3 years as an ISP tech support person for Verizon had me writing a suicide note at 2am, before I realized that something was seriously wrong with my head. After getting out of the hospital, I wasn't able to talk on a phone for almost four years without MASSIVE anxiety.
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Sep 7, 2018 19:13
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jesus everyone This is why I refuse to work with customers
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Sep 7, 2018 19:21
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blackswordca posted:One of my best friends is a radio music director so I've heard a ton of stories about working in the industry, good luck on the new job and commute upgrade !! This place is really cool, as are my co-workers and boss. If I was interested in sticking with the radio industry I probably could have learned the broadcast side and had a job forever - this station is basically going to be forever on the air in its format, and it's an odd niche that we can't be bought out since our size and position in the area would command too high a price for any of the smaller/mid-size radio companies, and the big-size ones are going bankrupt or getting out. My new commute is drive to train station, train to Newark, then PATH to WTC. I get to get on at the start of the commute on both ends, so now I might actually have a greater than 5% chance of a seat on PATH!
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Sep 7, 2018 19:22
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Neddy Seagoon posted:If a couple of large-denomination bills mysteriously appear on your desk from each of them by end of day, they might well have.
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Sep 7, 2018 21:08
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I celebrated my 6 month anniversary at my new job. Not a single day doesn't go by when I'm not pinching myself to make sure it's not a dream. My group oversees the development network and handles pretty much anything our engineers and project managers can dream up. Right now we've got some portable SCIFs sitting in the parking lot and we're ripping all the hardware out and replacing it with probably $300k worth of new hardware. I just got tasked with purchasing some software licenses - cost is about $100k and I'm a little nervous sending this to my boss, my bosses boss, and his boss. Reply is almost instant - looks okay. I go to my boss just to make sure and he laughs. "That $100k will be added to the bill for the customer, and as much money as they're paying for this it will be considered a rounding error." To celebrate winning an $8m contract we got a VP to agree to let us buy about $500k worth of new hardware to completely overhaul our infrastructure. Boss is trying to sneak a 3D printer in on the request, and considering how much prototyping and unique one-off solutions we tend to have to come up with there's a good chance we'll get it. Every day is totally different from the next. "What do you know about generators?" "Nothing." "Perfect. Get some shorts on and let's go play with the one in the parking lot." It's like working with 10 Dr Frankenstein's, each more insane than the other, but balanced out by being so drat smart you question your own sanity. I'm just starting to feel like I can breath without fear of pissing someone off and getting fired, and now that I've got my feet under me I'm more willing to take on projects I don't necessarily understand so I can learn. Storage? Never looked at it before, so let me jump in on it. We need a network diagram for the entire development network, encompassing the entire US? No problem - I'll figure something out. New virtual infrastructure? Please, that poo poo is like nirvana. Linux script to remediate systems for security compliance? I've never written a script over 20 lines, but gently caress it, sure. (That one is probably my best accomplishment thus far. I was manually configuring servers to figure out what changes needed to be made and it would take me a day to do it. Wrote up the script to do it in 5 minutes. Boss loved it.) I've got my interim TS clearance and in 12 months or so I should finally have my SCI. At that point I'll probably get handed my own projects to manage. Every morning I wake up energized to go into work, and every evening I come home a little depressed because I didn't feel like I accomplished much. My friend, however, keeps telling me that my boss and co-workers are thrilled to have me there and impressed with the scope and depth of my knowledge. My boss has no qualms with throwing things at me because he is confident I'll figure it out somehow. Haven't slipped yet, don't intend to any time soon. No one better open my pod...
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Sep 8, 2018 00:37
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Daylen Drazzi posted:No one better open my pod... He's starting to realize it's all a simulation, shut it down and make him more miserable in the new one!
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Sep 8, 2018 00:57
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Daylen Drazzi posted:No one better open my pod...
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Sep 8, 2018 15:18
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Renegret posted:jesus everyone I haven't done support since '99 but I worked at one of the first dialup ISPs back in '95 and it was always an adventure * Taught a man where his colon was. shift-semicolon * Had a customer about to cancel because he couldn't click on the dialup icon. Kept them as a customer after explaining they could pick up their mouse and move it again. Poor guy couldn't access anything on the top half of his screen. He was so happy because his kids bought him some game but the icon was out of reach. * Local Dominatrix-for-hire setup her website with us, helping her with html issues was fun. * A bullet I dodged but a co-worker caught: A very lonely middleaged woman who paid for a service call and when they arrived she was two pitchers of margaritas in and wearing a nightgown. He politely declined to service anything other than her computer and she drowned her disappointment in a third pitcher while she watched him install everything. * Drove 6 hours to what I think was Atlanta Linux Expo. Arrived just in time to get a call that everything crashed and turned around and drove 6 hours back then spent the next 18 unfucking the aftermath of a quantum fireball drive overheating and making a gigantic mess. So much for our usenet retention policy! The only upside was we had carpooled so I slept the whole way back so I could deal with it when we arrived. * Dealt with the Church of Scientology a number of times because they couldn't understand that just because someone had an @ISP.COM email address it didn't mean that we were hosting the usenet articles they wanted taken down. After the third time I told the guy to please use a throwaway address when posting since CoS refused to believe us. He wasn't even using our usenet server so there was absolutely nothing I could do even if I wanted to. loving cults. * Had a customer server impounded by the FBI when they were trying to track the origins of a virus. This led to us uncomfortably sharing a room with a solid guy who was watching an unplugged machine like a hawk in case it grew legs while they were waiting on a judge to sign a subpoena. I got my name in international news with a quote about it to the local paper that AP picked up. * Through a series of fuckups (county didn't report a ticket was paid), I had a revoked license without knowing it until I got hit in a speed trap 200 miles from home on a business trip. This was extra fun because while someone else could drive the trip was to a prison about a networking proposal and I now had no forms of ID. * Converted the random pile of individual dialup modems and tangle of phonelines&serial cables into a neat rack with custom shelves. That was a really satisfying project, designing the shelves, getting a metal guy we know to cut & bend them. Ended up with a bunch of supra 28.8 modems on their sides, all the phone lines coming from one of these guys with the jacket removed and each pair routed neatly to it's shelf position and terminated to length. All the serial cables were matched to size and terminated to a 64-port Annex (https://www.ebay.com/itm/Xylogics-Annex-3-64-Port-Terminal-Server-Self-Network-Boot-64-Ports-Warranty-/302358485992). Ended up with a rolling rack that took in power, ethernet to the annex and 3 of those amphenol cables from the termination blocks. We were up to three of them before we got PRIs and Ascend units. I can't find any images of the complete unit anymore, but I've been using the aluminum from when we tore that down in projects for years now and there's one assembly that's still partially intact.  At risk of doxxing myself:  * Learned about security the hard way when we got owned enough to make the Defcon IV tshirt. No, it wasn't donkeyporn.com You couldn't pay me enough to do it again but it's where I got into systems programming; my first job was to port Radius from Solaris to Linux so we could return the loaner Sparcstation that was running it. Autoconf either wasn't a thing back then, or Radius wasn't coded with portability in mind until later, and sockets were different enough between the two that it took some effort to make it work. My career took a different trajectory but the arc bends back to this thread now that a lot of what I'm working on is containerizing services and euthanizing pets in favor of cattle. Harik fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 16:41
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Harik posted:I haven't done support since '99 but I worked at one of the first dialup ISPs back in '95 and it was always an adventure Oh man, startup mid-90s ISPs. I have some stories. Two that stand out: * NNTP server actually caught fire. Turns out a cat figured out how to get in and out of the “server” room (which was a MacGyver’d nightmare in itself) and used to sleep behind random machines in the winter for heat. Come spring and shedding season, almost all those servers got stuffed with dander and fur. That was a fun clean-up and one of the people there found out they were allergic to cats. * The other was getting called in to get the new RISCom board for the UUNET uplink working with BSDi at 11 pm. Unfortunately you only got object files with the board and had to add them to a modules file and recompile the kernel. And it kept dumping out with syntax errors and I just could not figure it out. Turns out “cc” in BSDi does not treat <TAB> and <SPACE> equally. I was so pissed when I figured that out.
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Sep 8, 2018 18:21
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Harik posted:* Dealt with the Church of Scientology a number of times because they couldn't understand that just because someone had an @ISP.COM email address it didn't mean that we were hosting the usenet articles they wanted taken down. After the third time I told the guy to please use a throwaway address when posting since CoS refused to believe us. He wasn't even using our usenet server so there was absolutely nothing I could do even if I wanted to. loving cults.
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Sep 8, 2018 21:13
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ilkhan posted:Hiring? Actually, yes. If you live in or around Dayton, OH send me a PM and I can send you our internal recruiter's email address.
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Sep 9, 2018 00:46
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Daylen Drazzi posted:Actually, yes. If you live in or around Dayton, OH send me a PM and I can send you our internal recruiter's email address. I am so sorry that you live and work in Ohio. Especially in Dayton.
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Sep 9, 2018 02:14
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Proteus Jones posted:Turns out “cc” in BSDi does not treat <TAB> and <SPACE> equally. I was so pissed when I figured that out. The Whitespace Wars were a cruel time. The survivors envy the dead. Lord Dudeguy posted:Sure beats "Bad hard drive? That sucks. You're without a PC for a week while we spin up a change control, order replacement parts, deploy an image, do inventory data work, get the ok from Info Sec to re-deploy, and pay our staff mileage and suffer time lost on important poo poo." You really need to have some systems as hot swaps. Keep the on the current image. When someone has downtime due to an issue, either swap the drive in and rename it in Windows for a hardware issue, or transfer their data if you have a serious software issue. Nic the problem on IT's time, let the user get back to work. If you're keeping any kind of metrics, introducing spare systems can give you a marked improvement in very short order.
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Sep 9, 2018 02:53
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chin up everything sucks posted:I am so sorry that you live and work in Ohio. Especially in Dayton. His job sounds cool at least. I don't do much outside of work, a nice job alone would be fine with me.
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Sep 9, 2018 03:57
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Daylen Drazzi posted:Actually, yes. If you live in or around Dayton, OH send me a PM and I can send you our internal recruiter's email address.
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Sep 9, 2018 04:54
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The best thing about Dayton is the airport you can use to fly to a better city.
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Sep 9, 2018 22:09
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Harik posted:* Local Dominatrix-for-hire setup her website with us, helping her with html issues was fun. How much did she charge you for the experience? 
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Sep 10, 2018 02:58
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AlternateAccount posted:Proofpoint + a giant [Ext] on the front of any outside emails seems to work pretty well for us. Also the way Proofpoint modifies(mangles the poo poo out of) URLs means that even if they realize a link is spurious after the fact, they can tell you YO, A USER CLICKED ON THIS BEFORE WE KNEW IT WAS BOGUS. We have [THIS IS EXTERNAL SECURITY WARNING PLEASE BE CAREFUL] appended to every subject line. They're now so long we hit spam filters/junk constantly. Apparently nobody thought of that.  e: I need to out of this poo poo, work life balance has been gone and recognition for busting my rear end has been "oh, sure we'll recognize you!" 
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Sep 10, 2018 06:31
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Daylen Drazzi posted:Actually, yes. If you live in or around Dayton, OH send me a PM and I can send you our internal recruiter's email address. drat, if I weren't hellbent on getting out of Ohio I would probably bite on this. But I want out of this blasted state.
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Sep 10, 2018 07:00
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Sep 10, 2018 12:48
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you know what's gonna happen in 14 days
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Sep 10, 2018 12:53
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notwithoutmyanus posted:We have [THIS IS EXTERNAL SECURITY WARNING PLEASE BE CAREFUL] appended to every subject line. They're now so long we hit spam filters/junk constantly. I dunno this sounds like "mission accomplished" if you ask me
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Sep 10, 2018 13:25
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Corporate IT wrote a new tool to tie and reset all our various systems passwords to a SinglePass™ Cool: This one actually works unlike the last two versions of it. Not cool: They're forcing a password reset on the entire company. Hope the corporate account support team has coffee ready when they have to deal with 20,000 morons who lock themselves out because they didn't write it down or read the nigh daily emails about it. 
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Sep 10, 2018 13:31
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Message from our research vessels: "When we are up towards the north pole and don't have satellite coverage email doesn't work. When we are at the dock with wifi email works just fine. You must fix email". Yeah, let me get right on that.
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Sep 10, 2018 13:31
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evobatman posted:Message from our research vessels: Prep the satellite!
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Sep 10, 2018 13:40
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evobatman posted:Message from our research vessels: Give them a quote for launching a new satellite.
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Sep 10, 2018 13:40
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First you must invent a way to keep a satellite geostationary in polar orbit. Quote them for that.
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Sep 10, 2018 13:44
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Collateral Damage posted:First you must invent a way to keep a satellite geostationary in polar orbit. Quote them for that. Two satellites in molinya [sp] orbits would give enough coverage! Of course due to the orbit type they could conceivably be launched on the same rocket, but since it would have to be so highly inclined, that's all the rocket would be doing. I agree, quote out two sat launches, you can even give multiple commercial quotes now!
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Sep 10, 2018 13:53
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We have NetSuite too and it sucks poo poo. We get that email from them too and I feel like it could probably include a link to reset it or at least instructions on how to do it, since you'd have to go through the "Forgot Password" link.
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Sep 10, 2018 14:38
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