Final Fantasy Tactics Mafia - Another stupid Cpig game.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Final Fantasy Tactics Mafia - Another stupid Cpig game.

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flerp: Feb 25, 2014

KhediveRex posted:

Has anyone called me lurking scum yet?

Because if so, I wanna fight you. Please identify yourselves because I wanna fight all of you, so bad. I'll fight all of you at once. Seven of you, twelve of you, I don't care, bring it on!

We'll fight unarmed. Disrobed. In a pit of mud! Just our wits and glistening muscles. One victor, sun soaked and sweaty, panting like an animal. A small army of shamful failures lying sore in the mud of their own defeat. We'll make a racket to shake the heavens themselves! I'll leave you disgraced and exhausted, quivering in your own weakness, screaming my name!!

...

Jesus. I need a cigarette.

Kupo.

i dont think anyone has said a single thing about u

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:23

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 09:41

KhediveRex: Jul 11, 2016; A poster to surpass Bifauxnen!

flerp posted:

i dont think anyone has said a single thing about u

Why is that flerp? If you had to take a guess?

Am I intimidating? Or ... do I smell funny? I mean, I'm not expecting to get any special treatment or anything but ... to have no one say anything at all?

I guess I'm just a little sad. And confused.

Kupo.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:28

Your Personal Muse: Oct 5, 2010; what a cool dude

Guys it�s time, on day 1, to start talking about culling the lurkers like Khed, the scum

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:31

flerp: Feb 25, 2014

KhediveRex posted:

Why is that flerp? If you had to take a guess?

Am I intimidating? Or ... do I smell funny? I mean, I'm not expecting to get any special treatment or anything but ... to have no one say anything at all?

I guess I'm just a little sad. And confused.

Kupo.

its prob because there are 28 people in this game and uve never posted

or maybe everyone's trying to ignore u idk

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:35

KhediveRex: Jul 11, 2016; A poster to surpass Bifauxnen!

Your Personal Muse posted:

Guys it’s time, on day 1, to start talking about culling the lurkers like Khed, the scum

Ypm is now my best friend and we're gonna mud-battle together.

What was your astrological sign again? I'm a big fan of bullshit and nonsense.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:38

KhediveRex: Jul 11, 2016; A poster to surpass Bifauxnen!

Kupo

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:38

Your Personal Muse: Oct 5, 2010; what a cool dude

KhediveRex posted:

Ypm is now my best friend and we're gonna mud-battle together.

What was your astrological sign again? I'm a big fan of bullshit and nonsense.

Your Personal Muse posted:

I�m a Leo, but it just means I�m a literal lion

Also you need better friends no one actually likes me I�m loud, obnoxious, abrasive, and bad at mafia

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:40

KhediveRex: Jul 11, 2016; A poster to surpass Bifauxnen!

Your Personal Muse posted:

Also you need better friends no one actually likes me I’m loud, obnoxious, abrasive, and bad at mafia

Pish-posh, i'm sure you have many admirable qualities. Like ... good teeth. Or maybe you're college educated. Or ...

I don't know you, man.

BUT DON'T TALK DOWN ABOUT YOURSELF!! Thats the first step to believeing the things other people say about you. Constant denial of your flaws, thats the only thing that keeps society running.

Anyway, Leo's are pretty cool. I just converted a Leo into an astrology buff, in my real life. The life I lead when I'm not making people uncomfortable on the internet. She calls me commonly to ask which of her associates would be good in bed based on their astrological charts. Its been immature but fun.

Kupo.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:53

Bifauxnen: Aug 12, 2010; Curses! Foiled again!

I noticed Rex wasn't posting yet, but didn't say anything cause it would be sure to stand out when he finally did

# ? Sep 28, 2018 05:56

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bifauxnen posted:

I noticed Rex wasn't posting yet, but didn't say anything cause it would be sure to stand out when he finally did

Dad, why do you suffere from dangoranpa

# ? Sep 28, 2018 06:07

Referee: Aug 25, 2004; "Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."
(Wilma Rudolph)

Your Personal Muse posted:

Also you need better friends no one actually likes me I�m loud, obnoxious, abrasive, and bad at mafia

I like you because you were scum in my very first mafia game :3:

# ? Sep 28, 2018 06:21

Bifauxnen: Aug 12, 2010; Curses! Foiled again!

imgay posted:

Dad, why do you suffere from dangoranpa

I don't, I turn on the Japanese audio

# ? Sep 28, 2018 06:37

Toalpaz: Mar 20, 2012; Peace through overwhelming determination

imgay posted:

Dad, why do you suffere from dangoranpa

Isn't danganranpa an asset in situations like this? It's basically mafia lite.

Bifauxnen posted:

I don't, I turn on the Japanese audio

lol

# ? Sep 28, 2018 06:45

A Sometimes Food: Dec 8, 2010

I used a GF and can't remember anything. This is the post burgers thread right?

# ? Sep 28, 2018 07:22

A Sometimes Food: Dec 8, 2010

Aww poo poo we all grew up together didn't we. And Cpig was the orphanage caretaker. No wonder I'm so hosed up.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 07:23

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

A Sometimes Food posted:

Aww poo poo we all grew up together didn't we. And Cpig was the orphanage caretaker. No wonder I'm so hosed up.

You just hallucinating since you got implade by that spike at the end of disc 1

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:02

KhediveRex: Jul 11, 2016; A poster to surpass Bifauxnen!

A Sometimes Food posted:

Aww poo poo we all grew up together didn't we. And Cpig was the orphanage caretaker. No wonder I'm so hosed up.

Fun fact, Cpig actually ran the orphanage I grew up at. And all of you were there. We were all homeless infants abandoned to a harsh uncaring world. And we used to trade stories about the wonderful families that would adopt us and all the great things we were gonna do once we grew up. And Cpig listened to all of us. And cared.

The orphanage's budget only afforded each of us two bowls of porridge a night but, Cpig used to spend his own money to buy us all a sweet roll every sunday. And none of us really understood until much later that on the nights Cpig bought us sweetrolls, he went hungry. Because we were all equally poor, really. Cpig just handled his poverty with grace. And the rest of us, we had each other and sweetrolls once a week so, no one ever noticed.

Remember fighting about who got to sit on the throw rug they'd tossed on the old brick floor? It wasn't even that much more comfortable but, drat, we used to shout and rough house. Cpig would just shake his head, cross his arms, give us that look. Same look he'd have when we'd fight about who got to sit closest to the one good furnace on the coldest winter nights.

Its funny because, looking back, we had so little. We had almost nothing. And nothing was ever easy. But I just can't shake the feeling that .... Those were the happiest days of my life ...

...

Kupo.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:15

Bifauxnen: Aug 12, 2010; Curses! Foiled again!

is this related to why everyone suddenly thinks I'm their Mafia Dad

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:30

Asphyxious: Jun 25, 2012; I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life.

Bifauxnen posted:

is this related to why everyone suddenly thinks I'm their Mafia Dad

Headmaster Bif

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:35

KhediveRex: Jul 11, 2016; A poster to surpass Bifauxnen!

Bifauxnen posted:

is this related to why everyone suddenly thinks I'm their Mafia Dad

You don't remember adopting 27 deranged orphans from Cpig's orphanage?

We definitely remember.

You adopted us and then trained all of in the art of combat so we could go and change the face of Ivalice as a united army in a massive fantasy world war.

I mean, I thought it was an odd choice too at the time. Honestly.

Kupo.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:41

CapitalistPig: Nov 3, 2005; A Winner is you!

Ok time for the next installment.

I am gonna skip through the cutscene after you leave The city where the first fight happens because it's just a flashback to Cpig's dad dying.

The important parts are that Cpig is the half brother of Lord Dycedarg and Zalbag, so he's only half Noble.
Also he has a sister named Alma.
Cpig's dad tells him he's a good boy and then dies.

End of cutscene.

We move on to the Mandalia Plains, our next battle.

We find a bunch of those good for nothing death corps accosting some poor lad.

Here we have a battle where we need to choose something, basically the difference is the win condition being save algus or kill all the bad guys.

I have noble knightly honor to uphold so..

and here, is where I get a game over screen 3 times because saving algus can go gently caress itself without a directly controllable healer.

So I picked the gently caress that guy lets focus on killing these guys option.

Delita the goody 2 shoes is all bent about it.

Die mad Delita.

I still got a game over once because Radcliff died and I couldn't end the battle before he got turned into a crystal so I reset the game.

I finally stuck together

I still just managed to scrape by with this bloodbath of a fight.

There is another cutscene where you find out the stranger's name is Algus, he is an academy soldier like you, and the death corps kidnapped the Marquis of Limberry! Delita and Cpig suggest instead of running off like idiots and trying to rescue the Marquis like Algus wants, that they should maybe go back to Igros castle and Tell Lord Dycedarg.

Algus agrees.

This cutscene did produce a good screenshot that has a myriad of possible mafia related uses in my future games.

So then it's off to Igros for more cutscenes!

And then Algus bursts out with unreasonable demands.

Dycedarg has a perfectly reasonable reaction.

Algus continues with his desperation.

And then puts everyone in their place.

(he's such a diiiicckk)

Oh, you thought we were done with this cutscene?
Nah.

Cpig's sister greets him and he...

promptly ignores her and says hello to his brother.

Yeah guys, don't you think?

I would never want you to go check that out instead of guarding this stupid old castle amirite?

Then there's a bit at the end where Alma tells Cpig that Teta lied and actually everyone picks on her at school.

The end.

Once I get control again lots of new equipment is opened up and I am able to do some party management.

I make Cpig and Philo Knights because we need some people with hp and strong attacks.

I make Mandy and Radcliff Archers so we have some ranged physical shots from people with high brave scores.

I leave Daison as he is for now and make Chris a Priest(white mage) so she can fast track to Time Mage.

Delita stays the same but I had to sell some of his poo poo to be able to afford stuff for my knights and archers, same with Algus but I make him a chemist for another layer of healing since he can use potions as a chemist and I can't since he's a guest.

Final party for this update.

I walk back over to Garliland Magic City so we can be primed for Sweegy Woods next time.

Oh yeah, I fixed the black map thing and tweaked graphics settings so it looks a lot better now.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:50

CapitalistPig: Nov 3, 2005; A Winner is you!

KhediveRex posted:

Fun fact, Cpig actually ran the orphanage I grew up at. And all of you were there. We were all homeless infants abandoned to a harsh uncaring world. And we used to trade stories about the wonderful families that would adopt us and all the great things we were gonna do once we grew up. And Cpig listened to all of us. And cared.

The orphanage's budget only afforded each of us two bowls of porridge a night but, Cpig used to spend his own money to buy us all a sweet roll every sunday. And none of us really understood until much later that on the nights Cpig bought us sweetrolls, he went hungry. Because we were all equally poor, really. Cpig just handled his poverty with grace. And the rest of us, we had each other and sweetrolls once a week so, no one ever noticed.

Remember fighting about who got to sit on the throw rug they'd tossed on the old brick floor? It wasn't even that much more comfortable but, drat, we used to shout and rough house. Cpig would just shake his head, cross his arms, give us that look. Same look he'd have when we'd fight about who got to sit closest to the one good furnace on the coldest winter nights.

Its funny because, looking back, we had so little. We had almost nothing. And nothing was ever easy. But I just can't shake the feeling that .... Those were the happiest days of my life ...

...

Kupo.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 08:51

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I hope I unlock the power to dracula people this game.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 09:47

Natural 20: Sep 17, 2007; Wearer of Compasses. Slayer of Gods. Champion of the Colosseum. Heart of the Void.
Saviour of Hallownest.

imgay posted:

I hope I unlock the power to dracula people this game.

I'm actually a sexy dracula.

# ? Sep 28, 2018 10:02

death cob for cutie: Dec 30, 2006; dwarves won't delve no more
too much splatting down on Zot:4

KhediveRex posted:

Has anyone called me lurking scum yet?

Because if so, I wanna fight you. Please identify yourselves because I wanna fight all of you, so bad. I'll fight all of you at once. Seven of you, twelve of you, I don't care, bring it on!

We'll fight unarmed. Disrobed. In a pit of mud! Just our wits and glistening muscles. One victor, sun soaked and sweaty, panting like an animal. A small army of shamful failures lying sore in the mud of their own defeat. We'll make a racket to shake the heavens themselves! I'll leave you disgraced and exhausted, quivering in your own weakness, screaming my name!!

...

Jesus. I need a cigarette.

Kupo.

##vote KhediveRex idk if this is disgusting or arousing but either way it's distracting me from Mafia

# ? Sep 28, 2018 10:19