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*dumb kitchen guy*: *draws pentagram in chocolate sauce on plate for my tables dessert* Me: “no.” *even dumber kitchen guy attempts to draw a pentagram in chocolate sauce on plate for my tables dessert and instead inadvertently draws a god drat Star of David* Me: “absolutely not. also please stop drawing religious iconography on the loving dessert plates.”
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Sep 28, 2018 01:50
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Mezzanon posted:*dumb kitchen guy*: *draws pentagram in chocolate sauce on plate for my tables dessert* Better than my staff that draws swastikas
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Sep 28, 2018 02:49
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My last job I had I worked with a bipolar friend I had known since middle school and when he would hit lows, I would write messages to get him to laugh like "SUCK BUTT" or draw goofy faces (stuff would get put on it, so customers would never know). Are there any classes out there that teach you how to draw a dick with a creme brulee torch?
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Sep 28, 2018 03:13
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Plan Z posted:One of our dishwashers used to listen to some internet-grade poo poo, I'm talking like Steven Universe theme done in chiptune type of stuff. We kind of held our tongue to be nice until he started playing it every night. Up until then, I embraced the temporary relief when it would play a Carpenter Brut's Hang 'Em All song from Samurai Jack. Don't make me side eye my collection of High Quality Video Game Rips. (Read, soundcloud shitposts from the SiIvaGunner youtube group/account.)
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Sep 28, 2018 03:17
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Manuel Calavera posted:Don't make me side eye my collection of High Quality Video Game Rips. (Read, soundcloud shitposts from the SiIvaGunner youtube group/account.) I can take some of that. I throw on the Doom 4 soundtrack or Andrew Hulshult's stuff sometimes when I'm alone.
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Sep 28, 2018 03:22
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Tbf, some of them are really well done. Like beatmania IIDX 7 GRAND is a collection with a good theme going, it's all Rips of DDR type music. And then 7 Gram Dab is all weed jokes. So there's a lot of Snoop Dogg mashup Rips.
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Sep 28, 2018 03:28
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Plan Z posted:My last job I had I worked with a bipolar friend I had known since middle school and when he would hit lows, I would write messages to get him to laugh like "SUCK BUTT" or draw goofy faces (stuff would get put on it, so customers would never know). 
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Sep 28, 2018 05:30
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Plan Z posted:My last job I had I worked with a bipolar friend I had known since middle school and when he would hit lows, I would write messages to get him to laugh like "SUCK BUTT" or draw goofy faces (stuff would get put on it, so customers would never know). You haven't lived until you've made a full-sheet scale pair of fondant-covered breasts for a bachelor's party cake. I got to deliver that one too, his best man and fiance cooked it up and they were cracking up.
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Sep 28, 2018 06:24
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I used to work in a bakery and we had a few loaves that had icing drizzled over them... Nothing like lining up 30 loaves and writing P O O P B A L L S over the entire rack
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Sep 28, 2018 07:16
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Liquid Communism posted:You haven't lived until you've made a full-sheet scale pair of fondant-covered breasts for a bachelor's party cake. I got to deliver that one too, his best man and fiance cooked it up and they were cracking up. One kitchen I worked in there was a gay bachelor party out front and they brought a cake that had a dude riding another dude reverse cowgirl (cowboy?) with cum everywhere for us to cut and serve. They insisted they didn't want it cold and I couldn't convince the server who kept pulling out of the fridge that it would suck to cut if it was warm because the sugar people were hard (heh) and the cake would be too soft. I cut it warm and it looked like a murder scene, but they ended up loving it.
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Sep 28, 2018 16:13
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We portion 3.5 oz balls of sausage meat onto trays, and one time my grill guy starts chuckling to himself while doing this. I look across the prep table, and he'd arranged them like a good ol cock and balls. I love working with mentally 10 year old boys -- not being sarcastic, their humor keeps this old woman sane. Reminded me of that milgoon story about being on a crushingly boring sub tour in the Navy, and realizing their captain had plotted a course shaped like a dick. They had spent the week drawing a 300 mile long cock in the Pacific.
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Sep 28, 2018 22:27
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Just had our rag bin catch on fire tonight. But got to cook two pork shoulders.
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Sep 29, 2018 03:42
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ApolloSuna posted:Just had our rag bin catch on fire tonight. But got to cook two pork shoulders. In the rag bin, right?
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Sep 29, 2018 03:45
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Shooting Blanks posted:In the rag bin, right? Nothing like cooking over open flames
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Sep 29, 2018 05:04
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One of the nice things about getting off work at 2am is I'll often see a rabbit or two hanging out on my lawn when I get home. 
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Sep 29, 2018 10:11
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Republicans posted:One of the nice things about getting off work at 2am is I'll often see a rabbit or two hanging out on my lawn when I get home. When I get off work that late sometimes we just get to watch a homeless guy shoot up and jerk off on the outside security camera.
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Sep 29, 2018 19:20
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Walking TO work at 4am, I get the best of all worlds. My favorite was one morning, it was snowing, so the already quiet neighborhood had that silence that snowfall brings. I'm coming down the side street that connects to the main drag, and just as I get to the corner, I heard this odd sound, like someone banging coconut shells together. A deer was just hauling rear end right up the middle of Main Street, clopclopclopclop right down the yellow lines. Watched him go by, laughed and said "sup, Blixen!" and went to work with a smile. The family of skunks that lives in the woods immediately behind our outside walk-in can gently caress right off, though. Same for the junkies that nod off in the shelter of our smoker pavilion. I've had drug problems and been nearly homeless myself, I have a degree of sympathy, but don't throw your loving needles and broken crack pipes right where I have to walk 3 hours before sunrise. Our parking lot is apparently quite the place for late night trysts, too, as Ive seen quite a few used condoms in the lot when taking the fryer oil out once the sun comes up. We share a parking lot with a couple bars, and I guess that's the place to go for your drunken back seat bang. My boss, who comes in around 3:30, takes much delight in finding cars with steamed up windows and banging on the glass to wake up the happy couple.
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Sep 29, 2018 21:26
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Unless they're blocking your trash cans or something it's insanely rude to wake up people who rightly made the decision to gently caress in their car then sleep it off instead of driving drunk.
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Sep 29, 2018 21:39
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You made the right decision and had sex in your car in a parking lot behind the restaurant.
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Sep 29, 2018 21:47
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Skwirl posted:Unless they're blocking your trash cans or something it's insanely rude to wake up people who rightly made the decision to gently caress in their car then sleep it off instead of driving drunk. Oh, agreed, I'm all about letting sleeping dogs lie. My boss is just an rear end in a top hat like that sometimes. In her case it's probably sour grapes because I don't think she's been laid since the Clinton administration. But then she can be a total softie, too. One time I was giving her a ride home when it was brass monkeys cold out, we passed a homeless and shivering woman in the adjacent lot, and she made me turn around and go back to work. She ran back in, got a big bag of food and some hot coffee, and we dropped it off for that poor lady. Been there almost a year now and still can't figure out what triggers Dr Jekyll/Mrs. Hyde with her.
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Sep 29, 2018 21:56
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Worked in a restaurant where if it was crazy snowing outside they'd let us sleep in the dining room next to the fireplace, and even trusted us without owners/management to not be there. One year, it was just down to me (I lived out of town) and one of the servers who lived in the apartment upstairs. We eventually ended up making out and having sex in the middle of a blizzard in front of a warm fireplace. Right now I'm looking for a job that will let me poop on my shift without asking if I clocked out first.
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Oct 1, 2018 18:26
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Lmao, dude.
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Oct 1, 2018 18:56
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Genuinely not joking about the poop thing, though. The job I just walked out on told us to clock out even for peeing.
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Oct 1, 2018 20:26
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Bro, that whole post sounded like a Ron Sawson Joke. One night in the winter we got caught in a blizzard. I made bacon. We had sex by the fire place on a bear skin rug...
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Oct 1, 2018 20:37
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Heard Also, "Dookie" is another easy to work to album if you're not sick of some of the songs by now. Plan Z fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Oct 2, 2018 |
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Oct 1, 2018 22:48
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Accepted my first salary kitchen job today. I celebrated by changing the fryer oil and deep frying hot pockets for dinner.
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Oct 2, 2018 07:26
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ApolloSuna posted:Accepted my first salary kitchen job today. I celebrated by changing the fryer oil and deep frying hot pockets for dinner. Fairly sure that's a metaphor for the job you just took. We are doing so well that hardly anyone has batted an eye at our ~$10k equipment request for the month. poo poo, I may try to buy another fryer next month at this rate.
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Oct 2, 2018 07:44
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Chef De Cuisinart posted:Fairly sure that's a metaphor for the job you just took. Eh Ill be running a recovery/homeless shelter kitchen. I haven't run a place in like 2.5 years so trying to do something positive while I try and get out of the industry. All the fun stuff, set systems in place, training, etc.
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Oct 2, 2018 09:49
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Plan Z posted:Heard How could I be sick of the one song on the album
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Oct 2, 2018 09:55
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ApolloSuna posted:Eh Ill be running a recovery/homeless shelter kitchen. I haven't run a place in like 2.5 years so trying to do something positive while I try and get out of the industry. All the fun stuff, set systems in place, training, etc. Actually, that sounds legit awesome. I'd love to run something like that later in my career.
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Oct 2, 2018 12:44
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Chef De Cuisinart posted:We are doing so well that hardly anyone has batted an eye at our ~$10k equipment request for the month. poo poo, I may try to buy another fryer next month at this rate. Meanwhile, I'm spending my own money buying peelers for the crew with my whopping $3/week raise because ours broke and the KM refuses to buy new ones --- "y'all need to develop knife skills anyways." That may be true, but if the reason I can't get a real raise is because our labor cost is so high, maybe invest a couple bucks in peelers and we wouldn't spend so much goddamn time peeling 75 pounds of apples with lovely paring knives? A couple bucks on peelers < paying 3 people $9 an hour to get those loving apples done, jeez, I'm not a loving mathemagician or anything but that makes no loving sense mandatory lesbian posted:How could I be sick of the one song on the album This legit made me LOL, thank you, I needed that edit: wow, I sure loving like to use "loving" a lot in my loving posts. Three times in one sentence, that's a new loving record for me, I think. I blame it on being raised by a minister, we werent allowed to say "hell' or "drat" or even "jeez!" when growing up JacquelineDempsey fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Oct 2, 2018 |
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Oct 2, 2018 14:39
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mandatory lesbian posted:How could I be sick of the one song on the album I agree with you that "She" is the only song worth listening to. Good call. Chef De Cuisinart posted:Fairly sure that's a metaphor for the job you just took. Wow, do you work at a big place, or just really busy, or both?
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Oct 2, 2018 16:26
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Back in the industry after a fairly lengthy break, but this time I'm out of the food mines and into the dazzling daylight of floor supervising at a really nice bistro, loving loving it so far. My ADD brain excels at bouncing between tables, checking up on customers and flirting with 50+ year old midwestern tourists for those big tips. Aside from the one 'head chef' (there's like, two cooks and a dishwasher in the kitchen at any one time, but she's one of those) who likes to bully the poor 19 year olds who work with her and throw tantrums all my coworkers are awesome too. Plus the food is delicious, locally sourced and pretty healthy as far as restaurant fare goes.
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Oct 2, 2018 16:42
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Meanwhile, I'm spending my own money buying peelers for the crew with my whopping $3/week raise because ours broke and the KM refuses to buy new ones --- "y'all need to develop knife skills anyways." That may be true, but if the reason I can't get a real raise is because our labor cost is so high, maybe invest a couple bucks in peelers and we wouldn't spend so much goddamn time peeling 75 pounds of apples with lovely paring knives? A couple bucks on peelers < paying 3 people $9 an hour to get those loving apples done, jeez, I'm not a loving mathemagician or anything but that makes no loving sense Looks like your KM managed to pay for neither the peelers nor the additional labor. He got what he wanted.
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Oct 2, 2018 20:52
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Plan Z posted:
1k room luxury hotel attached to the Austin convention center. Got 4 restaurants, 2 bars, 24/7 IRD, and an absurd amount of banquet space. Our 5th floor ballroom can seat 3k, and I could put out 3k plates in about 45min. Of course, I don't see that happening for a few years, Austin just isn't that big yet. And yeah, we've been stupid busy. I've already made $1mil over forecasted revenue year to date, and still got the 3 busiest banquet months to go.
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Oct 2, 2018 22:34
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Chef De Cuisinart posted:1k room luxury hotel attached to the Austin convention center. Got 4 restaurants, 2 bars, 24/7 IRD, and an absurd amount of banquet space. Our 5th floor ballroom can seat 3k, and I could put out 3k plates in about 45min. Of course, I don't see that happening for a few years, Austin just isn't that big yet. I kinda miss doing hotel banquet stuff, but mostly don't.
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Oct 2, 2018 23:51
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Chef De Cuisinart posted:1k room luxury hotel attached to the Austin convention center. Got 4 restaurants, 2 bars, 24/7 IRD, and an absurd amount of banquet space. Our 5th floor ballroom can seat 3k, and I could put out 3k plates in about 45min. Of course, I don't see that happening for a few years, Austin just isn't that big yet. Are you getting a piece of that 1 million over forecasted,?how about any of the people you personally trained?
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Oct 3, 2018 07:31
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Skwirl posted:Are you getting a piece of that 1 million over forecasted,?how about any of the people you personally trained? We all got 10-15% raises last month, so yeah.
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Oct 3, 2018 08:58
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this industry loving sucks. im praying i fall face first into the bechamel today and drown
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Oct 3, 2018 18:56
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the great deceiver posted:this industry loving sucks. im praying i fall face first into the bechamel today and drown Minimum wage went up where I am on the first of October, and local social media has been full of people going "NOW THAT YOU'RE MAKING A LIVING WAGE SAY GOODBYE TO EVER GETTING TIPPED AGAIN RESTAURANT CUCKS" Perfect, I am so glad that my seventy five cent an hour raise will make me no longer want tips.
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Oct 3, 2018 19:11
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