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Terrible "Volvo Apologist" Robot
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Oct 30, 2018 01:35
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FYI Lando got extra treats IRL tonight for being so good at killing aliens.
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Oct 30, 2018 02:44
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Woody checking in for certain death and a cool hat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C25l1SkYzb0
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Oct 30, 2018 03:03
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Woodchip posted:Woody checking in for certain death and a cool hat. Woody as nickname? What about first/last
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Oct 30, 2018 03:09
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Wood 'woody' chip
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Oct 30, 2018 03:11
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My titties are pretty fly And my penchant for fire support cannot be denied M-M-M-M-M-MOST COHESION
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Oct 30, 2018 04:29
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XCOM responded to a distress call from a Resistance camp. Unconfirmed reports of a Chosen leading a strike force were received, and a squad dispatched to deal with it. The reports were genuine. The Chosen showed up to party.  XCOM partied harder.  Flawless victory over the Chosen Hunter. Congratulations all round, particularly to Elmags for his bitchin moustache. I think it's time for a check-in, so here's how the roster stands at the moment. HEROES FOR ALL TIME Rk. Barc Lee - cut down by the Chosen Assassin and lack of funds for healthcare. Dead veterans don't need benefits, indeed. Rk. Ariana Moletta - gunned down by an ADVENT soldier on the first mission. Lacked heart. Cpl. Beatrix Potter - was panicked by a Sectoid and gunned down while running to the EVAC point. Cpl. Two Finger - killed by an improbable crit while in a superior firing position with full cover. Lieutenants Victor "Vicky" Vermis - Grenadier Four "The" Mare - Specialist Michael "Teflon" Flynn - Ranger Sergeants Der "Gator" Ratte - Ranger Lando "Bark Knight" Howlrissian - Reaper TF "A" Bitch - Ranger Corporals Dick Hurtz - Grenadier Robert Mueller - Skirmisher John Anderson - Templar (NAMECHANGE PENDING) Squaddies Karl Marx - Specialist M Gargantua - Sharpshooter El Maligno - Sharpshooter Flikken Sadness - Grenadier First name last name - Specialist Rookies Redneck Nazgul Wood Chip Yolanda Garcia (NAMECHANGE PENDING) Jessica Rodgers (NAMECHANGE PENDING) Abebi Mayunde (NAMECHANGE PENDING) So as we can see, XCOM is in dire need of volunteers. Sign up today, and save the world! Would you like to know more? Comrade Blyatlov fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Oct 30, 2018 |
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Oct 30, 2018 18:53
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McNally posted:Firstname "McNally" Lastname What was the point of signing up under an alias if you're just going to use my real goddamned name?
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Oct 30, 2018 19:56
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McNally posted:What was the point of signing up under an alias if you're just going to use my real goddamned name? The admin office clearly saw the name and decided to screw you.
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Oct 30, 2018 20:14
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Time to hit the blacksite. El Mustache stuck his hand up, as did four other eager beavers. This happened:  Surprisingly the Chosen dropped in a single turn. Apparently three rangers hacking away at it, with a heavy and sniper putting rounds in its face doesn't sit so well with it  Then the mission went sideways. The team had just begun to penetrate the blacksite, when three sectoids turned up and flanked Elmags. He bravely tried to block their shots with his mustache, but it turns out, laser beams CAN melt facial hair. Rest in Peace, Elmags. Your mustache bravely gave its life for XCOM.  No one got out unscathed. Once the squad had forced their entry and seized the vial, the reinforcements started landing. Special shoutout goes to TF "A" Bitch, who by rights should have died but instead dodged three hits, gunned down a Lancer, and flipped off the remaining ADVENT while riding the rope up to the Skyranger.
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Oct 31, 2018 21:00
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I make the same face when I poop IRL, too.
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Oct 31, 2018 21:30
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XCOM had an opportunity to hit an ADVENT psionic transmitter. A squad was deployed. TR might notice that apologist was too long and was shortened to sorry.  The mission went fairly smoothly for a change. No deaths, plenty o fdead aliens, and a nice promotion for one of the men.  Never let it be said XCOM doesn't have a sense of humor, Dick "Tiny" Hurtz
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Oct 31, 2018 21:34
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The Bark Knight, Four "The" Mare, and Wood Chip had been sent on a secret mission to uncover the location of the Hunter's base of operations. It was found, but they were discovered on the way out. It occurs to this Commander that sending a squad member with a propensity to bark his head off may not be all that wise on stealthy operations. Nevertheless:  Unsurprisingly, Lando quickly outdistanced his squadmates in the run to the exit, then, like any good boy, ran back to his squadmates after reaching the extraction point, then ran back and forth between the squadmates and the exit. Good boy, Lando! He also wiped out a few lost, securing himself a promotion to Lieutenant. Four "The" Mare also performed admirably on the stealth operation, becoming XCOM's first Captain, and necessitating a second award of the Golden Noose.  The squad escaped with no casualties at all. Good work, squad.
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Oct 31, 2018 21:58
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VOLVO SORRY lmbo
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Oct 31, 2018 22:29
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Survived first mission, great success, a++ would stealth again.
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Oct 31, 2018 22:34
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XCOM got a call about some supply crates ADVENT was trying to recover. If there's one thing goons love, it's loot crates. Four the Mare led the way, and owing to his increased rank and therefore leadership abilities, the squad now consisted of six team members. The Lost turned up for the party, too.  Now that he's been rescued from the Chosen, Robert Mueller is starting to carve a bloody swathe into all those before him.
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Oct 31, 2018 22:52
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The Shadowy Dude called up to say "Yo, there's this scientist guy. Could you go rescue him?" So that was today's goal. I'm sorta getting the impression the constant humiliations we're inflicting on this clown are starting to upset it.  It's now noticeably tougher and angrier. Not that it made the slightest bit of loving difference, mind. That being said, it did get in one good slash on dear old Bitch who tried to have a Hanzo duel with it. Spoiler: It didn't go well.  And Squaddie Chip took one to the face, but luckily everyone's favourite socialist was on hand to provide free healthcare, and once the patient was stabilised, personally carry him to safety. God bless Karl Marx, healer of the sick, carrier of the fallen.
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Oct 31, 2018 23:34
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If you wanna make it double awesome, get some mods that add in space marine and imperial guard voice packs. Hearing a psyker yell WITNESS YOUR DOOM while dropping a void rift is just amazing.
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Nov 1, 2018 00:07
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The Rat posted:If you wanna make it double awesome, get some mods that add in space marine and imperial guard voice packs. I'm Using some of the mass effect voices lol
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Nov 1, 2018 00:11
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So this is from a few posts back but this:TF CURES GENERATOR posted:Cpl. Two Finger - killed by an improbable crit while in a superior firing position with full cover. ..is A Thing in XCom 2 because of how hits and crits are calculated. EU Aim Rolls posted:..in XCOM 2, hits, crits and dodges shares a single roll, so if the crit chance is higher than hit chance, it always crits as long as the target can't dodge, dodge is less affected because the dodge roll is calculated based on dodge stat * hit chance. I copied the text from the description of this mod, which breaks up the calculations so they actually make sense, since the vanilla behavior is kinda bullshit even by  standards. https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1123516056 EU Aim Rolls posted:With this mod 10% hit 10% crit means 1% of shot will crit, 9% normal hit, 90% miss. This concludes your public service announcement from someone who spends more time modding games than actually playing them.
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Nov 1, 2018 00:41
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Hobo on Fire posted:So this is from a few posts back but this: I had wondered a couple of times if that might be the way it worked simply from observed behaviour. Thanks man!
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Nov 1, 2018 00:56
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Another day, another mission.  Another couple of promotions, another wounded soldier. I'm really surprised how few high level casualties I've had, but I'm not complaining in the least.
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Nov 1, 2018 11:32
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Raveley wounded *flicks light switch off and on*
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Nov 1, 2018 14:31
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Woodchip posted:Raveley wounded *flicks light switch off and on* Sharpshooter eh? *starts looking up and drawing charts on alien organ placement* "I'm gonna figure out where their nuts are... For science"
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Nov 1, 2018 15:23
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I haven't died yet! I also haven't appeared in a mission yet! 0/0 for safety.
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Nov 1, 2018 21:42
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You still recruiting new scrubs? NFN "Frenchie" Madurai
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Nov 1, 2018 22:19
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Urgent call came in for an alien attack on a resistance camp. It was so urgent, XCOM didn't have time for a pre-mission hero shot. Berserkers showed up and things got more than a little hairy.  Michael Flynn will never make it to trial. No comment from Robert Mueller.
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Nov 1, 2018 23:24
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The deep state finally got their man R.I.P. in piss
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Nov 2, 2018 00:08
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Also I just unlocked a continent bonus that means I can now train recruits to sergeant level. So any further recruits should say what class they want to be - reaper, skirmisher or templar dont count as you get very limited recruitment chances
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Nov 2, 2018 00:36
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Yoko “Yellow Ball” Pupper 
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Nov 2, 2018 01:42
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Che 'DeadAF' Guevara RANGER
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Nov 2, 2018 01:52
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Well at least I died first, a true xcom experience.
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Nov 2, 2018 02:57
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drat it Marx get your poo poo together jeez you suck
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Nov 2, 2018 04:01
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Well I think I forgot to take a couple screenshots here and there, but time for a big update on where we are up to. I just hit the Lost Towers for the Last Gift mission.  Sent this squad of badasses in ready for some robot-killin'. Shen scored the first kill, and, well.... she blasted it into space.  Made it through without any deaths but I'm disturbed by the amount of wounded I have on the roster at the moment. Basically all of my experienced soldiers are laid up. Roster to follow....
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Nov 2, 2018 12:26
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HEROES FOR ALL TIME Rk. Barc Lee - cut down by the Chosen Assassin and lack of funds for healthcare. Dead veterans don't need benefits, indeed. Rk. Ariana Moletta - gunned down by an ADVENT soldier on the first mission. Lacked heart. Cpl. Beatrix Potter - was panicked by a Sectoid and gunned down while running to the EVAC point. Cpl. Two Finger - killed by an improbable crit while in a superior firing position with full cover. Cpt. Michael "Teflon" Flynn. Unfortunately, he wasn't as non-stick as he thought. Sq. El Maligno. Died as he lived, very anime-sexually. Majors Four "The" Mare - Specialist Captains Lando "Bark Knight" Howlrissian - Reaper TF "A" Bitch - Ranger Terrible "VOLVO SORRY" Robot - Templar Declan "Steezo" Ryan - Sharpshooter Lieutenants Victor "Vicky" Vermis - Grenadier Der "Gator" Ratte - Ranger Robert "Three Stick" Mueller - Skirmisher Sergeants Karl Marx - Specialist Firstname "Fingerguns" Lastname - Specialist Dick "Tiny" Hurtz - Grenadier Corporals Redneck Nazgul - Ranger Flikken Sadness - Grenadier Wood Chip - Grenadier Squaddies M Gargantua - Sharpshooter Vincent Van Goatse - Specialist Rookies NFN Madurai B-Rock Shock SPARK Units Aspirant SMDFTB 420-69 Comrade Blyatlov fucked around with this message at 12:36 on Nov 2, 2018 |
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Nov 2, 2018 12:33
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So, I kind of hosed up. I prioritised the wrong things, and didn't make any effort to move towards the advent sites. Which resulted in this happening: So I had no choice but to beeline the nearest one and attack it with whatever I had available.  Then this rear end in a top hat showed up.  Things got really messy. The team blew the facility and managed to escape, but it really was a mess.  Vermis got wrecked by an Archon, B-Rock got gunned down by a turret, Lando was the last on the field and got mind controlled as the rest of the team escaped. Fear not, pantsless, Lando will return if I have to sacrifice all of XCOM to make it happen.
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Nov 3, 2018 01:12
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YOU GOT LANDO CAPTURED?! YOU MONSTER
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Nov 3, 2018 01:24
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WAR CRIME SYNDICAT posted:YOU GOT LANDO CAPTURED?! YOU MONSTER that good boy wouldn't let them take his squad 
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Nov 3, 2018 01:55
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 BRING HIM HOME WITH THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO TOOK HIM
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Nov 3, 2018 01:56
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Rescue mission stat
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Nov 3, 2018 01:56
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