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I know at least two men who don't deserve to be forced into marriage with a psychopath under the pretense thst it's the morally right thing to do, poo poo like that is how other men justify misogyny.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:11
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This plan is unnecessarily complicated.Rad-daddio posted:2. pee on all of them. 
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Nov 5, 2018 04:22
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ToxicSlurpee posted:On the topic of weddings one thing I've noticed is that the ones that last forever are the ones that just don't spend a lot of money on things. Just a little ceremony where nobody bothers dressing up with the preacher that they know or whoever is at the church they attend, a BYOB potluck for whoever wants to show up, and no pressure to make it The Perfect Night. The more debt a wedding incurs the more likely the couple is to get divorced. A friend of a friend got married last year, and my friend told me that she noticed the guy she was marrying looked misrable through the entire process and the bride not much better. The Wedding was the most girley, frilly thing you have ever seen she told me. Apparently they wanted to do something simple by the lake at the cottage he proposed to her at because it really meant something to do them. But The Mom and step mom of the bride and the grooms mother basically took over everything forcing them to have this mega expense and pink wedding that looked like something a young girl would dream up when fantasizing about their perfect wedding when they're 10. Which made me wonder if the reason you get sometimes these Bridezillas (don't you mean Bridegary?) outside of what you mentioned is that some women get in their heads a perfect, fairy tale wedding because that's as close as they'll ever get to being a princess. If you notice, a lot of traditional white people weddings tend to refer it as "her day' and a lot of wedding stuff clearly makes this about the Bride. Though in the above case, I think it was the moms that still held onto this dream.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:34
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Yeah if either of either of our parents tried that poo poo they'd be disinvited like they called my partner a slur.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:45
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twistedmentat posted:A friend of a friend got married last year, and my friend told me that she noticed the guy she was marrying looked misrable through the entire process and the bride not much better. The Wedding was the most girley, frilly thing you have ever seen she told me. Apparently they wanted to do something simple by the lake at the cottage he proposed to her at because it really meant something to do them. But The Mom and step mom of the bride and the grooms mother basically took over everything forcing them to have this mega expense and pink wedding that looked like something a young girl would dream up when fantasizing about their perfect wedding when they're 10. Of all the stuff I've been through with my wife, the hardest thing was the marriage ceremony and planning it. We were in a similar situation where we wanted something simple, and her parents took over and turned it into a loving carnival. The kicker was when they came to us after the fact and wanted us to pay up for the horse carriage and live band that we didn't want.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:50
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twistedmentat posted:A friend of a friend got married last year, and my friend told me that she noticed the guy she was marrying looked misrable through the entire process and the bride not much better. The Wedding was the most girley, frilly thing you have ever seen she told me. Apparently they wanted to do something simple by the lake at the cottage he proposed to her at because it really meant something to do them. But The Mom and step mom of the bride and the grooms mother basically took over everything forcing them to have this mega expense and pink wedding that looked like something a young girl would dream up when fantasizing about their perfect wedding when they're 10. A lot of that comes down to marketing and a hosed up culture. The idea that a wedding is The Most Important Day of your Life for a woman and should be the Best Possible Day comes from a mix of marketing and what I've come to call cultural narcissism. It's a tremendously horrid way to start a marriage given that the idea is that the wedding is supposed to be the peak of a woman's life and then it's just downhill from there. The first thing is that that's really, well, a lovely way to start a marriage; the most important day being the first one? Yeah, so after the wedding is over everything just automatically will never as be good again? Then suddenly you have to pay down five or six figures of debt that went into creating The Perfect Day? No wonder divorce is so prevalent. This is just one of the many ways that a culture that encourages narcissism manifests; no matter what you do the wedding can never be perfect or The Best Ever. You'll often have people whispering about it in ways like "well they could have had nicer food" or whatever. It has to be this gigantic, amazing production but no matter what there's always something that could have been done better. Well, no poo poo, that's life. Nothing is ever perfect but as a society we've decided that "good enough" is never enough. We've also created a culture where everything has to be psychotically competitive. If your friend has an amazing wedding then you have to have a better one. You have to one up every single person you know and have such an amazing one that nobody will ever top it. But, like...why? I think bridezillas happen primarily due to societal pressure. How often does marketing use the message of "well if your fiancee really loves you..." to sell stupid poo poo for the wedding? While some brides are just legitimately lovely people I think society just has this tendency to tear down absolutely everything as not good enough. It doesn't matter if the couple just wants a simple thing they can afford and then wants to live a quiet, stress free life The Right Thing to Do is to max out your credit cards and go into as much debt as possible to have All the Right Things. Matching vehicles with plates that say His and Hers! A $10,000 engagement ring! A wedding with 500 guests that costs more than the couple makes in a year! Girl, it's Your Day and it has to be the best ever! Do you really want to marry a man who won't treat you like a princess? The Princess Complex is a real thing, as much as there are people who don't want to believe it. And now stuff like Trash the Dress is a thing so you can't resell the dress. Guess the bridal industry didn't like the idea of people wearing a second hand dress for $200 (and honestly, who is even going to know other than the couple if they don't tell anybody?) when it retails for $5,000. Tubgoat posted:I know at least two men who don't deserve to be forced into marriage with a psychopath under the pretense thst it's the morally right thing to do, poo poo like that is how other men justify misogyny. Back home one of the most common ways a marriage happened was she would want to get married but he wouldn't. So she'd either sabotage the birth control they were using or quit taking whatever she was on and not bother telling him. Next thing we know she's pregnant and forcing him into a marriage he doesn't want. Frequently it would happen because the relationship was just plain failing but she didn't want to go through the effort of forging a new one. Yes, I'm sure that will lead to anything other than divorce. ToxicSlurpee has a new favorite as of 06:43 on Nov 5, 2018 |
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Nov 5, 2018 04:55
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These page long essays about weddings are the real AUG.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:56
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What if I only sell if she can prove his net worth is, say, over $1 million? Scamming rich assholes is my praxis. Plus they'll pay more.
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Nov 5, 2018 04:59
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Dont raw dog it. Ever. This is how kids and VD is caught.
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Nov 5, 2018 05:24
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T-man posted:What if I only sell if she can prove his net worth is, say, over $1 million? The compromise.  Also I am enjoying the dickens out of these essays about America's hosed up marriage culture, really tickles my schadenfreude centre and my love of complaining.
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Nov 5, 2018 06:33
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I thought step 4 was make it all right again by selling negative paternity tests to the men?
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Nov 5, 2018 07:23
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Tubgoat posted:
ToxicSlurpee's post is pretty bang on with how the wedding industry markets, though I'd say bridezillas happen as a mix of societal pressure and never growing out of being a brat. To see how really bad it is, next time you're at the grocery store, head over to the magazine rack and flip through a bridal magazine. It's insanity in print. I've had friends who are on their third and fourth marriages who still want to do the big wedding thing as if it's their first which is pretty awkward when they go on about it and all you want to say is 'why are you doing this when you're still paying off the last one?'. Most AUG wedding I've seen was posted over in the r/relationships thread. Woman getting married had her best friend drop out of the wedding party and sent her a very detailed letter explaining why. The wedding was going to be at a plantation venue thing, best friend is African-American who's repeatedly stated for years that she wouldn't attend a plantation wedding because on a personal level due to the history and on a professional level because it would impact her job being at a plantation wedding as if it was like one being held at a random fancy venue. Woman's asking reddit for advice because she thinks her friend's overreacting because all that slavery stuff happened so long ago and she figured her friend would come around to the idea when it was getting closer to the wedding. It's gone past AUG into AUGly.
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Nov 5, 2018 07:59
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Yikes, a Plantation Wedding sounds like one of those things Southreners who imagine it was all gentile Southern Aristocrats in linen suits and hoop skirts drink mint juleps want to do, ignoring that was entirely based on a horrible racist system, first slavery, then sharecroppers and so on. The friend who told me about that wedding is getting married next year, at a baseball diamond where her financee hit his first home run, then the reception will be at his parents house with a BBQ. Only about 40 people are being invited, no bridal parties, just a best man and best brother (she doesn't have any super close male friends so she gave the duty to her youngest brother). And that's about it. They did have some issues with his parents being super catholic from Quebec so they wanted a church wedding but she is a pretty stanch a-religious person, so she wasn't comfortable with it. 
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Nov 5, 2018 08:26
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LingcodKilla posted:Dont raw dog it. Or, alternatively, be monogamous and raw dog it every time.
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Nov 5, 2018 08:48
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twistedmentat posted:Yikes, a Plantation Wedding sounds like one of those things Southreners who imagine it was all gentile Southern Aristocrats in linen suits and hoop skirts drink mint juleps want to do, ignoring that was entirely based on a horrible racist system, first slavery, then sharecroppers and so on. I've been to a plantation wedding and it was so beautiful there, I still wish I could go back and just walk through the groves while trying to not think about the purpose of those perfect rows of ancient trees. They're an amazing venue for weddings, but it's an uncomfortable place to enjoy
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Nov 5, 2018 09:16
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Working as a wedding videographer I was thrown into all sorts of weddings. On one level it was fascinating seeing different cultures celebrate, or unique twists, like the heavy metal one. The worst was my first. It was pretty bogan. The groom had been hit by a car several months ago. She was the server at Subway, and that's how they'd met. Her maid of honour joked about how short all of her and her friends marriages were. Nothing elaborate, simple park service and a hired out hall, but the groom was *constantly* drinking. I had to keep editing around cans of Jim Beam that kept on appearing in his hands from his mates as soon as they woke up. Even the service was a "hold me drink bro". Beyond the booze he clearly wasn't up for it. Really not engaging with the day at all. And then midway through the first dance decides to ditch his bride to smoke pot and have more booze with mates out the back.
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Nov 5, 2018 09:27
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He looks like one of those grandpa Dracula hosts.
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Nov 5, 2018 10:06
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WebDog posted:I had to keep editing around cans of Jim Beam that kept on appearing in his hands from his mates as soon as they woke up. I've never heard of canned Jim Beam before. I live in Kentucky, I drink a lot of bourbon, but no way am I drinking an entire cans worth in just a few hours.
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Nov 5, 2018 11:29
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M_Sinistrari posted:ToxicSlurpee's post is pretty bang on with how the wedding industry markets, though I'd say bridezillas happen as a mix of societal pressure and never growing out of being a brat. To see how really bad it is, next time you're at the grocery store, head over to the magazine rack and flip through a bridal magazine. It's insanity in print. I've had friends who are on their third and fourth marriages who still want to do the big wedding thing as if it's their first which is pretty awkward when they go on about it and all you want to say is 'why are you doing this when you're still paying off the last one?'. The last wedding I went to was like this. In east Texas, on family property, all the guests were white, all the catering staff was black, the arrangements at the tables...straight up COTTON plant! Oh and for food we had chicken and waffles and mint juleps. I had no idea this would happen, but I'm sure they went out of their way to arrange it this way on purpose, I was told the catering staff was brought in from Atlanta by the wealthy mom.
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Nov 5, 2018 11:39
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grittyreboot posted:I've never heard of canned Jim Beam before. I live in Kentucky, I drink a lot of bourbon, but no way am I drinking an entire cans worth in just a few hours. If they are the same as the ones around here, they are pre-mixed with coke etc., so they are usually weak af, taste nasty and far more expensive that just buying a bottle and the mixers you prefer!
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Nov 5, 2018 11:41
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Yeah all those diamond wedding rings are just a scam (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 5, 2018 12:05
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Ah hello, it's been a while.
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Nov 5, 2018 12:10
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:These page long essays about weddings are the real AUG. and the rampant misogyny too
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Nov 5, 2018 12:13
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Goatse has a wedding ring in it, checks out.
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Nov 5, 2018 12:55
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I can’t find the thread now but was one on Reddit from this year of industry professionals (florists, photographers, dress shop salespeople, etc) sharing their worst experiences and it often seemed it was a parent who ultimately caused the problems, whether it was an overly controlling mother or a father who acted like an apologetic rear end in a top hat for their tantruming adult child. Lots of implied alcoholism. At least one arrest when a women smashed a cake that wasn’t hers. Just some of the ugliest entitlement comes out of peoples’ weddings. 20ish years ago I used to read a website called Etiquette Hell that published people’s questions and experiences about social faux pas. Their wedding section was most popular, and the story of the Titanic bridal party dresses was their best known one and is more purely awkward than anything. The original site’s post was taken down last year because the husband of the bride found out and was apparently not happy.
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Nov 5, 2018 14:09
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twistedmentat posted:Yikes, a Plantation Wedding sounds like one of those things Southreners who imagine it was all gentile Southern Aristocrats in linen suits and hoop skirts drink mint juleps want to do, ignoring that was entirely based on a horrible racist system, first slavery, then sharecroppers and so on. That's pretty much exactly it. It's a romanticized version of the south's opulence without bothering to remember that the wealth was built by slaves. Other times little details like all of the service staff being black on purpose while all of the guests are white as was mentioned are put in on purpose to remind people of how poo poo used to be. I guess there's even one plantation that has nice rows of trees along this nice road and at one point there's a bunch of fake black people heads to commemorate the time a big slave rebellion was put down there. Super ultra hosed up.
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Nov 5, 2018 14:15
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ToxicSlurpee posted:I guess there's even one plantation that has nice rows of trees along this nice road and at one point there's a bunch of fake black people heads to commemorate the time a big slave rebellion was put down there.   In a world that is even the slightest bit just, the servers can not be legally responsible for their actions in such a situation. "Dude, they're not doing anything they don't want to. They want my sweet cheddar. And I wanna see some stuff in exchange; it's mutual. Free market!"- Jake, Adventure Time
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Nov 5, 2018 15:28
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A lot of the stereotypes about bridezillas also boil down to misogyny. There are plenty reasonable, practical weddings where someone hosed up /fleeced the bride/flaked, but the fact that she is genuinely upset gets her labeled a bridezillas. It's kind of unfair given that we don't throw shade on grooms for similar things. Many grooms will claim they just don't care about all the details but this is a lame excuse for being lazy as gently caress and not doing anything. The best way to have a great wedding regardless of price point is to put your guest's needs first and go from there.this is why gimmick theme weddings and destination weddings can have so much drama - it is putting a lot of obligation on other family members. People that are genuinely quid pro quo about helping can also go a really long way too. Both my wife and I were really supportive and involved in the Best Man/Maid of Honor's respective weddings, and in turn they were hugely supportive and generous at ours.
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Nov 5, 2018 16:51
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Nov 5, 2018 21:04
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My folks ran a flower shop in Florida for many years and HATED weddings, only one I can remember my mom enjoyed was doing flowers for Brutus Beefcake's wedding which turned into a lot of wrastlers business.
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Nov 5, 2018 21:30
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I say go balls out on your wedding if you can afford it. Going into debt to do it is stupid, but to each their own. Also if you want to throw a Star Wars wedding in Portugal that's just fine, but it's unreasonable to expect everyone to be able to make it or for them to give you gifts if you're not covering their rooms/airfare. My favorite story, which I think came from r/relationships, was the woman cutting everyone out of her life because they didn't want to spend 4k each to go to her Thailand wedding.
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Nov 5, 2018 21:42
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Is this illegal
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Nov 5, 2018 21:52
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Violet_Sky posted:Is this illegal only if you start jerking it, nasty boi
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Nov 5, 2018 21:56
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People have to guess each others kinks https://youtu.be/tpgszSFG99w 
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Nov 5, 2018 22:58
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LifeSunDeath posted:The last wedding I went to was like this. In east Texas, on family property, all the guests were white, all the catering staff was black, the arrangements at the tables...straight up COTTON plant! Oh and for food we had chicken and waffles and mint juleps. I had no idea this would happen, but I'm sure they went out of their way to arrange it this way on purpose, I was told the catering staff was brought in from Atlanta by the wealthy mom. At least they didn't have Mandingo fights with a bridesmaid as the prize.
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Nov 5, 2018 23:13
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grittyreboot posted:People have to guess each others kinks My kink is shitposting.
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Nov 5, 2018 23:26
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grittyreboot posted:People have to guess each others kinks These people's real kink is broadcasting on the internet their awkward conversations with strangers
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Nov 6, 2018 00:56
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My wedding was a cool breeze the wife and I married beside the dumpster at an IHOP unlike all these other crazy whore brides who probably sabotage their birth control
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Nov 6, 2018 01:45
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grittyreboot posted:I've never heard of canned Jim Beam before. I live in Kentucky, I drink a lot of bourbon, but no way am I drinking an entire cans worth in just a few hours. It's always amusing seeing Americans encounter these as they get very confused. Not sure how it came about, possibly because of convenience over price. Alcohol is also very expensive compared to America, you might be lucky to get a 700ml bottle of no name bourbon for $27. That's about the same as a six-pack of cans. Or if you go for a slab (24): $70+ So it's become a premium drink for some.
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Nov 6, 2018 02:00
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bike tory posted:These people's real kink is broadcasting on the internet their awkward conversations with strangers Yeah, and it only cost 
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