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BeefSupreme wanna gently caress up these two idiots instead of fighting each other? I don’t want to let their horrible failureness go unpunished but nor can I manage two brawls at once.
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Nov 12, 2018 09:49
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Morning Bell posted:I am drawing a circle in the sand of this disgusting failure desert. I'll do it, since I failed this week.
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Nov 12, 2018 09:57
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Or whatever. I'll crit all submitted stories for this week as punishment instead if I ain't brawling.
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Nov 12, 2018 09:57
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The wind blows across the desert sands. A snake slithers over an empty pack of winfield blues. A voice in the distance calls: "Fleta Mcgurn and 1,750 worlds max Due date: 1st of December 23:59 PST Prompt: each writer shall choose one out of the three options below (tell me which prompt when you post your story, you don't have to choose now). 1. The only pub in town has just closed 2. A new hospital in town has just opened 3. It had been forty eight degrees Celcius for three days in a row (please convert to Fahrenheit yourself). Any genre, any style, any setting, as long as your words are good and I can see the prompt in your words Fleta Mcgurn posted:I'll do it, since I failed this week. Morning Bell fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Nov 12, 2018 |
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Nov 12, 2018 10:20
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For bonus points: if a memorable vehicle (mode of transportation) in one writers story appears in your teammates story, that is an Bonus Point for the team and the desert gods shall look upon you more favourably and nod.Morning Bell posted:The wind blows across the desert sands. A snake slithers over an empty pack of winfield blues. A voice in the distance calls:
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Nov 12, 2018 10:25
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Opt-in 1
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Nov 12, 2018 10:27
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I'm into Option 3, if Yoruichi is cool with it.
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Nov 12, 2018 10:29
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I'm in for option 2
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Nov 12, 2018 10:32
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I'm into Option 3, if Yoruichi is cool with it. It's ok if two teammates choose different prompts but I will think your team is slightly cooler and has synergy and jazz and excellent hi fives if you both choose the same one. But only slightly (it's ok to choose different prompts).
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Nov 12, 2018 10:34
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Yoruichi posted:BeefSupreme wanna gently caress up these two idiots instead of fighting each other? Fleta Mcgurn posted:I'll do it, since I failed this week. Oh no, Yoruichi, our business is far from over. But this fight... Fleta and I can handle these chumps. Let's see just what lies beyond door #3.
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Nov 12, 2018 10:57
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(I'll take your spot in this brawl, Yoruichi, unless you really want it--but also we're still brawling)
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Nov 12, 2018 10:58
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Submissions are closed. Have a great failurebrawl, which my phone autocorrected to "funeral"
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Nov 12, 2018 13:09
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Well this might be some FJ given more than half of entrants failed to submit, even with a very generous extension. (And also GJ, therefore)
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Nov 12, 2018 15:10
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BeefSupreme posted:(I'll take your spot in this brawl, Yoruichi, unless you really want it--but also we're still brawling) I will leave the punishment of Seb-failure-jo and Cptn_cantsubmit in BeefSupreme and Fleta Mcgurn’s capable hands.
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Nov 12, 2018 19:20
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Yoruichi posted:I will leave the punishment of Seb-failure-jo and Cptn_cantsubmit in BeefSupreme and Fleta Mcgurn’s capable hands. Truly despicable and cowardly, just as I expected. Brave BeefSupreme and fearsome Fleta Mcgurn shall make a fine team.
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Nov 12, 2018 20:14
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TD 327: RESULTS This week, all I wanted was to read some stories about dragons. 11 of you offered to help me out, but only five delivered. Guess it's time to crawl back in my cave and brood over my hoard while trying to figure out what went wrong. Thranguy wins with a charming nonsense adventure. Nobody loses, because honestly, nobody wrote that badly and I don't feel comfortable punishing anyone for showing up this week, not while I'm contemplating pulling a Yoruichi and blowing $60 on failuretars. However, autism ZX spectrum DMs for having the weakest story of the week, an ambitious but confusing dystopia story that also barely contained any dragon. Thranguy, throne's yours. May November judging treat you better than it did me.
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Nov 12, 2018 22:35
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Preemptively jumping in with a  cos dammit we need more wordin'
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Nov 12, 2018 22:56
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Thunderdome 328:Economy of Prompt 2 Thriller. 1000 words, toxx to double Deadlines Friday/Sunday Pacific Time Judges Thranguy Sitting Here Yoruichi Entrants Chili, toxxed derp, toxxed sparksbloom, toxxed autism ZX spectrum, toxxed Fuschia tude Antivehicular, toxxed Fleta McGurn, toxxed Saucy_Rodent Thranguy fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Nov 18, 2018 |
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Nov 12, 2018 23:19
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i'll do it
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Nov 12, 2018 23:29
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I'm in with a toxx
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Nov 12, 2018 23:40
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In
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Nov 13, 2018 02:05
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crits Guardian I like this. It kept my attention, I felt bad for the neglected protag dragon, and the prose is pretty good. I do wish there was a little more coherence to this, start-to-finish. The story turns on the suffering in this family, but the first few paragraphs don’t set this up, and in the end, the dragon feels like a sort of minor character in the events of the story. Sure, it captures the suffering-monster, but it doesn’t interact much with Alba or Marta, and it seems like an odd choice for the POV character here. Catalyst This is really hard to follow, mostly because of the unmarked POV shifts, but also because the action relies on sci-fi jargon for the blocking. Couple that with paper thin characters, a bizarre scheme (spend money on fuel and a rocket to send prisoners to Mars, where there’s no life support, instead of just killing the prisoners? ok, sure), and a scattering of bad proofing, and I’m officially Not A Fan of this one. I guess there’s atmosphere going for this story, but that atmosphere’s limited to “futuristic.” Also, not enough of a dragon for me, sorry. The Dragon Rings the Bell This is cute, but not charming enough for me to look past the lack of substance. I like the playful, Alice in Wonderland logic that animates the story, but without anything to cut through the zany sugar this whole thing just feels a little bit twee. There’s also a couple of proofing mistakes that make me suspect this whole thing was thrown together in a hurry, or that the whole point of this story was to write about things being different sizes. And on that front, there’s definitely some good ideas, some good sentences, but on the whole, this thing is just cotton candy. Wrapped Around Your Finger A little heavy on the detail sauce, a little light on the emotional sauce. I do like what we get that’s emotional here, but ultimately I wish there was more on the family’s grief, and less describing the proper handling of dragons. To be fair, I really do love the way you’ve portrayed the loving family, and it’s touching that Sasha has to say goodbye to the wild dragon that’s helped her deal with the grief, but it doesn’t click into place, maybe because we don’t have a great sense of Sasha’s bond with the animal. Still, this is pretty well-written, and it kept me interested all the way through. Daisy and the Drains This is amusing, with a feel-good ending and some of that Good Satirical Banter. I like the part where the theremin playing dragon ate the bad dudes. I mean, it’s silly and goofy and not very substantial, but it’s more coherent than all the other pieces this week, and I’d have been fine seeing this win.
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Nov 13, 2018 02:10
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derp posted:i'll do it yeah, agreed
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Nov 13, 2018 07:22
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In,
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Nov 13, 2018 15:08
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derp posted:i'll do it is it too late to for extra words?
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Nov 14, 2018 01:16
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derp posted:is it too late to No, any time before signups close is fine
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Nov 14, 2018 01:24
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okay. I if that wasn't clear.
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Nov 14, 2018 20:49
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Oh, I'll give flash rules on request. Inspiration type, not dickish. And also let any of my cojudges (positions both empty, feel free to apply if you can't write this week), when they appear, do the same. (Gonna be giving stern looks if the only ones who ask are the people already in.)
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Nov 15, 2018 07:51
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In and
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Nov 15, 2018 13:06
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I am IN
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Nov 16, 2018 15:46
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It's close to midnight, About an hour left to join the week.
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Nov 17, 2018 07:58
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And closed. Write some thrilling words, y'all. Judge positions still available.
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Nov 17, 2018 09:10
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i'll judge
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Nov 17, 2018 09:44
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Me too
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Nov 17, 2018 09:59
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The School Shooter 596 words A number of my classmates are lying dead on the tile, but I can't waste any thought on who they are. There are fifteen feet between where I am at the entry of the science hall and the nearest cover, the rows of lockers. I can't see the shooter, but I imagine he's probably thirty feet away given the volume of the gunshots. By now, everyone still alive has scrambled for shelter, so if I try to cross the gap between the hallway and the lockers, I'll be his only target. And if I make it across, the lockers don't necessarily mean safety. His bullets are surely strong enough to go clean through the aluminum and the papers and backpacks inside. But at least he won't see me. I won't have time to enter the combination. There's a spot on these cheap lockers that'll open any of them if you hit it hard enough. I'll get one chance to get it right, I imagine. Now or never. I take a deep breath and bolt across the gap. The shooter sees me and fires three times. All misses. I leap over some sophomore girl's body and I'm across the gap. On a regular school day, I know which locker is mine by muscle memory, but the shooter's dashing footsteps are irritating my intuition. What's my actual locker number? I forgot it the first week after I'd committed its location to memory. 683? Yeah, that's it. The shooter's almost here. 687, 685, 683. The locker's sweet spot is just underneath and a little to the left of the lock. I have to be precise. I mutter a little prayer as I pound my fist against the locker. The footsteps behind me stop just as the locker door swings open. He starts firing. I'm hit, but there's no thought to waste on where or how it hurts. With the only arm that works, I pull my own pistol out of the locker and start shooting. ... The NRA people decided that a bigger cast would look better on TV. It helps with their "good guy with a gun" branding. They were initially worried I wouldn't want to do the morning talk show circuit, but I've delivered. It's kind of fun to see my face on magazines. They've coached me through the tough question: why did you bring a gun to school that day? Why, Mr. Seacrest, I bring a gun to school every day. I know it's against the rules, but I knew if something like this were to happen, somebody would need to protect this school. I'm just using my second amendment rights. The studio audiences eat it up. I'm proof that guns save lives. A couple states have changed their laws since the shooting to let kids keep their legal firearms in their lockers. I'm lying to them, of course. By happy coincidence, I only brought the gun to school that day. I've gone my whole life unnoticed and unrewarded, but that's changed now that I'm a hero. Of course, if that weird junior hadn't shot up the school, people still would have noticed me. Maybe if I had started shooting first, he would have gotten to be the hero. I like it this way more. I get on the stage for my next interview. As I look out at the cheering crowd, I wonder for briefest moment how the public would react if I pulled out a gun and shot them all dead right now. But that thought passes, and I am satisfied by their admiration. For now. Saucy_Rodent fucked around with this message at 23:00 on Nov 17, 2018 |
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Nov 17, 2018 22:54
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I edited the post just to add a word count.
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Nov 17, 2018 23:01
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Saucy_Rodent posted:I edited the post just to add a word count. regrettable
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Nov 17, 2018 23:10
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Alright you bah humbugs. Tiny thunderdomers are trickling in with submissions. This year there won't be a lot of submissions because I put up a natural barrier to cull the weak. Rules! If they didn't follow rules they get ignored and get a failing grade. How effective is it you ask?? At the time of this post 11 submissions were made and only 4 went through. https://docs.google.com/document/d/112B8YFigO4g-vH-PcOkt0abhv1LIEBC6-WJxH7Dkvvs/edit?usp=drivesdk That's where you can read submissions. I'll add the prompt to the doc later tonight. I'll also add if a writer requested a flash rule as well. Their deadline us Monday night at 11:59, so give me until then to get it ready for the horde. Like last time, remember these are teenagers from freshman to juniors so let's not critique like we would to each other. If you want to help with a critique, in order not to bog down the document with a poo poo ton of text, please write your critique in a separate doc and add it as a comment to the title of the story. Thanks for your help you loving mongrels.
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Nov 18, 2018 01:08
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Saucy_Rodent posted:I edited the post just to add a word count. Next time make a new post instead.
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Nov 18, 2018 03:29
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Yeah, sorry I forgot about the editing rule.
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Nov 18, 2018 04:43
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