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Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Solice Kirsk posted:

Just like cops, if you ask a spy if they are a spy they have to tell you. Otherwise it's entrapment and all the secrets they've gathered can't be used. So the easiest way to determine if someone is a spy is to simply ask them.

Heads up though, they are all really good at sarcasm, so even if they say yes it may sound like they really aren't.

It's like how they tried to train the British Home Guard to catch Nazi spies in disguise by approaching someone they expected of being a spy and shouting, "HEIL HITLER!" because no Nazi would be able to resist snapping to attention, doing a Nazi salute and replying in kind.

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The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

bike tory posted:

You don't have to be homophobic or hate the arts to recognise the incredible cheesiness in the aesthetics of that moment.

Yeah it was cheesy because of the context. I agree with that.

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

Wheat Loaf posted:

It's like how they tried to train the British Home Guard to catch Nazi spies in disguise by approaching someone they expected of being a spy and shouting, "HEIL HITLER!" because no Nazi would be able to resist snapping to attention, doing a Nazi salute and replying in kind.

Probably would have worked:

quote:

The Nazi spies arrived on the shores of Britain under the cover of night, by parachute, by rowing boat and by rubber dinghy. In their suitcases each carried a morse code transmitter, a map of the UK, a handgun and some invisible ink. Their mission: to pave the way for an invasion.

But the spies chosen for the mission had neither convincing fluency in English nor basic knowledge of British customs. One spy was arrested after trying to order a pint of cider at 10am, unaware that during wartime landlords weren't allowed to serve alcohol before lunchtime. Another pair were stopped while cycling through Scotland on the wrong side of the road: once the police discovered German sausages and Nivea hand cream in their luggage, their cover was blown.

Of the 12 spies who landed in Britain as part of Operation Lena in September 1940, most were arrested without having come closing to fulfilling their mission, and "because of their own stupidity", as British official records put it. Why Germany sent such inept agents on one of the most important missions of the second world war has remained an enduring mystery.

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

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When the British had to flee Malta in WW2, it all happened so fast that a lot of Brtisih troops got left behind. The rural Maltans were on their side, and took care of them and hid them in places the Nazis couldn't find. The Nazis started dressing their English speaking soldiers as British soldiers, and sending them into those rural villages, being all "Hello, I am also an Englishman! Please take me to where you are hiding all my British friends!" It never worked because the Maltans could tell the difference between an Englishman and a German who had taken English in high school

The Maltans quickly realized that the best way to deal with the fake British nazis was to immediately jump them, beat them up, tie them up, and haul them off to the nearest nazi outpost and say "Look, we found a Englishman!". The nazis, rather than thinking that maybe their ruse had been seen through, would say, "welp, they thought he was English and they turned him in, guess that village isn't hiding any Englishmen"

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP


It says


something

certainly


about me when i instantly recognize what this little dance is from



e: Im wrong but yeah i thought it was gachimuchi for some reason

Rigged Death Trap has a new favorite as of 00:49 on Nov 20, 2018

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Take On Me (Take on me)
Take Me On...(Take on me)

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?
I'm not doubting that some elements of that story might be true but Malta was never occupied :confused:

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

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Captain Splendid posted:

I'm not doubting that some elements of that story might be true but Malta was never occupied :confused:

poo poo, it was Crete not Malta.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

spog posted:

Probably would have worked:

There's a story that an elderly woman locked a man from the electricity board in her cupboard and called the police on him when he came to read the meter. Why did she think he was a German spy? Because he had a little moustache that looked like Hitler's.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Wheat Loaf posted:

There's a story that an elderly woman locked a man from the electricity board in her cupboard and called the police on him when he came to read the meter. Why did she think he was a German spy? Because he had a little moustache that looked like Hitler's.

In a bizarre twist of circumstance, that would be the appropriate response today.

Macdeo Lurjtux
Jul 5, 2011

BRRREADSTOOORRM!
I smell the plot to the new Space Jam movie.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Macdeo Lurjtux posted:

I smell the plot to the new Space Jam movie.

This works as a response to most posts.

snergle
Aug 3, 2013

A kind little mouse!

Biplane posted:

lol if you wouldn't betray the US government for almost no reason

would betray it in a second for literally free but thats probably why i didnt get a job working on military servers and instead got one with a credit union.

Son of Rodney posted:

idgi, what's funny about this?

The guy who flys in when he says can you take me higher. visual pun(?)

snergle has a new favorite as of 06:45 on Nov 20, 2018

ulex minor
Apr 30, 2018

Wheat Loaf posted:

It's like how they tried to train the British Home Guard to catch Nazi spies in disguise by approaching someone they expected of being a spy and shouting, "HEIL HITLER!" because no Nazi would be able to resist snapping to attention, doing a Nazi salute and replying in kind.

When Captain Sigismund Best was duped and captured by the SD he talked about how well he was treated. He said he wasn't surprised by this because Germans (and Europeans in general) just have an inherent sense of the superiority of the English and can't help being deferential toward them.

"The simple fact was that in their hearts these people regarded me as their superior; as a representative of a nation which they could not hope to equal. How often was I not to hear the statement that the English were a 'Herrnvolk' a race of masters. An inferiority complex is, I think, the most marked German characteristic. All the military pomp and martial posturing, the shouting and stamping, are just a smokescreen put up to conceal it. [...] Natural leaders, rare everywhere, are in Germany almost non-existent."

Surprisingly he doesn't mention the fact that him and his pal were carrying around a PLAIN TEXT list of SIS agents in Europe when they got nabbed and the Gestapo got everything else they wanted to know out of them without having to turn any thumbscrews or anything.

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007

Soiled Meat

spog posted:

Probably would have worked:

Sounds like you caught all of the insufferable "well ackshually" weaboo spy school flunky red herring pawn sacrifices and absolutely none of the actual spies there champ.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

"Hi Everybody!"

Karate Bastard posted:

Sounds like you caught all of the insufferable "well ackshually" weaboo spy school flunky red herring pawn sacrifices and absolutely none of the actual spies there champ.

That sounds like something a spy would say...

:thunk:

NtotheTC
Dec 31, 2007


Karate Bastard posted:

insufferable "well ackshually" weaboo spy

Teaboo

Kafouille
Nov 5, 2004

Think Fast !

Wheat Loaf posted:

It's like how they tried to train the British Home Guard to catch Nazi spies in disguise by approaching someone they expected of being a spy and shouting, "HEIL HITLER!" because no Nazi would be able to resist snapping to attention, doing a Nazi salute and replying in kind.

Well, it may very well have worked, this is a German comedian doing a bit in the 70s in West Germany, well after any kind of Nazi poo poo was even remotely acceptable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJRUDaw8DJE

Old habits die hard.

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet

Karate Bastard posted:

Sounds like you caught all of the insufferable "well ackshually" weaboo spy school flunky red herring pawn sacrifices and absolutely none of the actual spies there champ.

The British infiltrated the German training program for spies, instructing spies to meet up with a "contact" upon arriving in the country. The contact was of course a British intelligence agent.

Basically, German intelligence got owned on a level rarely seen in warfare. Literally every single German spy in the country got turned, isolated, or killed.

snergle posted:

...


The guy who flys in when he says can you take me higher. visual pun(?)

You know Creed is a Christian Rock group, right? The song is literally about God elevating your spirit.

Blue Footed Booby has a new favorite as of 11:51 on Nov 20, 2018

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost

Blue Footed Booby posted:

You know Creed is a Christian Rick group, right?

:confused:

orange sky
May 7, 2007

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
I still hate trigonometry and cringe whenever someone reminds me of it.

Unkempt
May 24, 2003

...perfect spiral, scientists are still figuring it out...

Samuringa posted:

I still hate trigonometry and cringe whenever someone reminds me of it.

Do you need a trig warning

Sulla Faex
May 14, 2010

No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING

Unkempt posted:

Do you need a trig warning

please maintain proper trig discipline

goddamnedtwisto
Dec 31, 2004

If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you
Fun Shoe

Blue Footed Booby posted:

The British infiltrated the German training program for spies, instructing spies to meet up with a "contact" upon arriving in the country. The contact was of course a British intelligence agent.

Basically, German intelligence got owned on a level rarely seen in warfare. Literally every single German spy in the country got turned, isolated, or killed.

The Abwehr were so completely incompetent that their most prized agent was Garbo, who just made up poo poo based on what he read in British newspapers, and even made up an entire network of informants across the UK (all of whom he drew salaries and bribes for), despite never having set foot on British soil. Eventually he sold the whole "network" to MI5, and is one of the few people to have been honoured by both the Germans and British for their wartime service.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Unkempt posted:

Do you need a trig warning

Sulla-Marius 88 posted:

please maintain proper trig discipline

Don't worry Samuringa, we're just Palin around

orange sky
May 7, 2007

Samuringa are you there

Is everything okay

Give us some sines of life

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

orange sky posted:

Samuringa are you there

Is everything okay

Give us some sines of life

Ok, now you're just going on a tangent

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

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root beer
Nov 13, 2005

Who What Now posted:

Ok, now you're just going on a tangent

Cosined

BaronVonVaderham
Jul 31, 2011

All hail the queen!

Just lol at the idea that most people get past algebra, let alone touch multivariable calculus. I taught HS math in Florida, specifically Algebra 2; I assumed I would be teaching freshmen, based on when I remember taking classes in my day, but 99% of my students were seniors, most of whom failed the course multiple times (and the administration pulled strings to graduate them anyway so the school didn't look bad).

A more appropriate graph for the top end of that curve:

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

MrUnderbridge posted:

When I lived in Germany, the US TV station was run by the armed forces. One commercial I remember is one where kids in a cafe are saying things like "Dad's going to Sicily this week" while a shifty character takes notes.

Speaking of the military and spies reminded me of when we found a new-ish looking watch with "Андрей" engraved on the back at the obstacle course. :tinfoil:

Captain Splendid
Jan 7, 2009

Qu'en pense Caffarelli?

BaronVonVaderham posted:



A more appropriate graph for the top end of that curve:



This is absolutely true.

The biggest number you use at university is maybe 4.

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007

Soiled Meat
loving pi man

Karate Bastard has a new favorite as of 18:29 on Nov 20, 2018

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018

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Dagen H
Mar 19, 2009

Hogertrafikomlaggningen

Everyone hates Ohio.

/Ohioan

BaronVonVaderham
Jul 31, 2011

All hail the queen!

Captain Splendid posted:

This is absolutely true.

The biggest number you use at university is maybe 4.

Literally every time a group of PhD candidates here does an escape room together:

"Ok, so we solved that complex cipher in our heads, why isn't this working...."
25 minutes later....
"loving HELL THERE ARE SIX BIRDS ON THAT POSTER, NOT FIVE."

Breeze through the hardest poo poo, utterly fail at counting or basic arithmetic.

Aleph Null
Jun 10, 2008

You look very stressed
Tortured By Flan
I had Algebra, Geometry, Trig, and Basic Calc in high school; I tested out of Calc 1, did pretty good in Calc 2 and Differential Equations (my favorite) in college before flunking out of Topology because I was the only undergrad in the class.

Now, I figure out tips and round them up to a whole dollar value in my head.



Edit: math was like loving magic to me. I loved that poo poo. Then: Topology. That killed me. Literally. I am dead and a ghost.

Aleph Null has a new favorite as of 19:34 on Nov 20, 2018

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Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
I just give 2 bucks for every 10 the check is

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