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Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it you little ho-bot :roboluv:

Peeny Cheez posted:

The date I was on that ended up awkward because of me was because of the unfortunate confluence of Black Velvet dress, a glob of stray jizz (it went everywhere) and her very, very Evangelical parents.

Other highlights include a girl who didn't know what plutonium was, a girl who I'm pretty sure was going to murder me, a white supremacist, and one girl who was a sex worker and dumped me because I didn't want to be her pimp.

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Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Short answer to all of them: I more than likely inadvertantly offended a wizard or something.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Peeny Cheez posted:

and one girl who was a sex worker and dumped me because I didn't want to be her pimp.

Just sounds like she wanted more of a commitment from you than you were ready for. Sometimes people are in different places. No harm in that. I hope someday she finds the pimp of her dreams and you find the bottom bitch of your heart.

Flipperwaldt
Nov 11, 2011

Won't somebody think of the starving hamsters in China?



Not everyone is pimp material. That's ok.

Danger - Octopus!
Apr 20, 2008


Nap Ghost

Peeny Cheez posted:

a girl who didn't know what plutonium was

I've never been on a date where this came up but I guess I've not dated any supervillains, physicists or terrorists

text me a vag pic
May 18, 2007




Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB



Yeah gently caress those AUG kindles for kids. No port to increase the GB. My kids ran out of space so fast.

CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER

idgi

UncleButts
Sep 25, 2003

pure of heart
dumb of ass
It looks like the condom drawer that Gotham deserves

Mocking Bird
Aug 17, 2011
That kid definitely has been peeing in his bedside drawer

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Until we know what that letter he's holding says we can only speculate. Best guess based on the context is it's an existential essay about the frailty of mankind and meaninglessness of a developed self. Or it says Santa isn't real or something. Kinda the same thing really.

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

Parts Kit posted:

That's past gross and into just plain loving nasty. :barf:

It strengthens the immune system.

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

steinrokkan posted:

It strengthens the immune system.

I hear that fecal implants can be great for your gut biome too

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

bike tory posted:

I hear that fecal implants can be great for your gut biome too

I always wonder if copraphiliacs have really good gut biomes

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

I hear that gay sex makes you gay, anyone wants to participate in a study?

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

T-man posted:

I hear that gay sex makes you gay, anyone wants to participate in a stud?

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

Mocking Bird posted:

That kid definitely has been peeing in his bedside drawer

I need to find out who makes drawers solid enough you can piss in them without fear of spillage.

coronatae
Oct 14, 2012

Kid pissed in the drawer for like a week before he was found out, mom ended up throwing the nightstand out due to smell.

Little dude has the makings of a fine poopsocker

Dick Burglar
Mar 6, 2006

steinrokkan posted:

I need to find out who makes drawers solid enough you can piss in them without fear of spillage.

Seriously, that's some legit woodwork and/or glue.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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The piss congealed, thereby sealing the cracks and creating a barrier

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

But enough about my sex life

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
I'm guessing the parents did the 'we ate all your Halloween candy. Here's an iou.'

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007

I too love using my kids sadness and tears to get attention on the internet

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008
the kid is upset because he got caught pissing in his dresser

Sandwich Anarchist has a new favorite as of 04:50 on Nov 25, 2018

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

The Kindle screen showed one final message:"Your parents are dead"

voiceless anal fricative
May 6, 2007



I can smell it from here

Queen Combat
Dec 29, 2017

Lipstick Apathy

bike tory posted:



I can smell it from here

Gross. The wireless adapter for the 360 was such a ripoff, and slowed loading from the HDD due to how the USB bus was handled internally. That M600 mouse, though - that's a beaut.

PainterofCrap
Oct 17, 2002

hey bebe


Peeny Cheez posted:

and one girl who was a sex worker and dumped me because I didn't want to be her pimp.

As you found out: A pimp's love is very different from that of a square.

Elohssa Gib
Aug 30, 2006

Easily Amused

Peeny Cheez posted:

Short answer to all of them: I more than likely inadvertantly offended a wizard or something.

Shouldn't have shorted him the $5 then.

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Queen Combat posted:

Gross. The wireless adapter for the 360 was such a ripoff, and slowed loading from the HDD due to how the USB bus was handled internally. That M600 mouse, though - that's a beaut.

I'm the garbage rear end Dell monitor that had like a 1024x800 resolution that every cheap office had. I'm also the pissbottles, insofar as piss can be color corrected equally easily as these pieces of poo poo.

MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

Eh, It still beats using a wet buffet platter

pseudorandom
Jun 16, 2010



Yam Slacker

MageMage posted:

Eh, It still beats using a wet buffet platter


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDYw9cFhUeQ&t=66s

I'm thankful for [the channel] that seems to have been showing nothing but National Lampoon movies over the past couple days while I was at my parents' house. Just watched this and European Vacation last night.

pseudorandom has a new favorite as of 07:47 on Nov 25, 2018

honda whisperer
Mar 29, 2009


I said piss bottles god damnit! In this family we push end game content on release day and that means pissing in your old 2 liter. What's so hard to understand about that.

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
Piss drawer is the new piss bottle get with the times grandpa

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

Dixville posted:

Piss drawer is the new piss bottle get with the times grandpa

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
The kid is Batman, you autists. His parents are dead.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!
Pee is stored in the dresser.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Real question. What's the difference between a chest of drawers and a dresser?

edit:
Also, I thought that was a night stand. But I really don't know.

artsy fartsy
May 10, 2014

You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Solice Kirsk posted:

Real question. What's the difference between a chest of drawers and a dresser?

edit:
Also, I thought that was a night stand. But I really don't know.

I think of a dresser as having a mirror and a lower surface (you get dressed in front of it) and a chest of drawers just a tall box with drawers. Both probably full of clothes.

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T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Real question. What's the difference between a chest of drawers and a dresser?

edit:
Also, I thought that was a night stand. But I really don't know.

Pee sealable

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