[SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

Arquinsiel posted:

Living in Ireland this is a thing I don't get. Like intellectually I know the problem, but when they're outside my front door the fuckers are terrified of literally everything and the whole flock will take off rather than fight me.

My office's facilities guy sent an email out to the company once about dealing with Geese and I sure wish I had saved it because it is lost to our retention policy. There was all sorts of instructions on how to deal with them, including stuff like "Maintain eye contact, no quick movements, dont get between them and their young, ect". About a week later I had a staredown with one on a little footbridge from our overflow parking lot one day when I got here late.

TITTIEKISSER69 posted:

I'm interested.

drat theres another Av + Post wombo combo

# ? Dec 20, 2018 23:52

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 14:56

Gunjin: Apr 27, 2004; Om nom nom

Arquinsiel posted:

Living in Ireland this is a thing I don't get. Like intellectually I know the problem, but when they're outside my front door the fuckers are terrified of literally everything and the whole flock will take off rather than fight me.

We had geese attack a lady at one of our offices, dislocated her elbow.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 01:21

Weedle: May 31, 2006

When I was a kid I got chased by a goose at a family picnic. Can�t trust �em.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 03:07

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

a g��se once bit my sister

# ? Dec 21, 2018 04:51

Nucken Futz: Oct 30, 2010; by Reene

Arquinsiel posted:

Living in Ireland this is a thing I don't get. Like intellectually I know the problem, but when they're outside my front door the fuckers are terrified of literally everything and the whole flock will take off rather than fight me.

You my friend have come across a gaggle of Canadian Geese that have emigrated, to Ireland it looks like. Go figure.
They have lost their way.

Home grown Canadian Geese are cunts.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 05:04

Dravs: Mar 8, 2011; You've done well, kiddo.

When I was a bit younger there was a really nice pub on the edge of the forest with a big beer garden with a large lake behind. Periodically a gaggle of geese from the lake would just roll into the beer garden clearing it out because they are cunts. You could walk by the pub and see people cowering inside while the geese took over outside knocking poo poo over.

How did this thread segue into geese?

# ? Dec 21, 2018 09:39

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Well, Dravs, you're gonna need to turn around - slowly- and back up towards us without making eye contact with it... :stare:

# ? Dec 21, 2018 09:43

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Nucken Futz posted:

You my friend have come across a gaggle of Canadian Geese that have emigrated, to Ireland it looks like. Go figure.
They have lost their way.

Home grown Canadian Geese are cunts.

They winter here. Probably outside my house right now.

The closest we have to it is Swans really, and the solution to them is "be more of a dick".

# ? Dec 21, 2018 11:43

sixth and maimed: Mar 20, 2012; Fun Shoe

A user called me yesterday about a Windows Update on his computer, and if he should let it run. After assuring him it was okay and to def. not interrupt it, and I thought that would be the end of it. Today, he called back.

:kingsley:

Can we remove this update?
:-) Why, what's the problem?
:kingsley:

It deleted my mail!

Wait, what? All your mail is gone?
:kingsley:

No, but there's this one mail I'm sure that's in my inbox and I can't find it any longer!

:doh:

I re-indexed his mails.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 12:48

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

My wife complained that her laptop was slow, so I ordered 4GB of RAM and an internal mSATA SSD that was about 16 times larger than the existing (useless) one. It took quite a bit of effort to get the SSD in (had to remove some plastic to make it fit in its tiny space under the battery) but copying the OS data over, changing the primary boot drive etc went perfectly.

Laptop boots about 20x faster now and feels 'like new'.

Things like this make me feel like IT jesus. :angel:

# ? Dec 21, 2018 13:40

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Security guard speaking. You're on your own re: meeses :stonkhat:

you don't pay me enough to get within twenty feet of them big boys.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 14:02

AlexDeGruven: Jun 29, 2007; Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box

Re: Canada Goose talk -

They're loving dicks and I'm glad they're not endangered/protected anymore here in the US. Sorry, Canada. I love just about everything you have, but the geese can go loving die.

At old job, there are big tree rings around the buildings, decorating the entrances. They decided they were going to take those over and attack anyone who threatened them. And by threaten, they meant "come within 20 feet of the spot I took over even if you're walking in the other direction and gently caress you I'm going to hop down and chase you while hissing and honking".

Assholes.

Almost as bad as developers.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 14:20

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 15:42

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 15:58

Captainsalami: Apr 16, 2010; I told you you'd pay!

Metal

# ? Dec 21, 2018 16:04

ChubbyThePhat: Dec 22, 2006; Who nico nico needs anyone else

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

This was the most beautiful post I have ever read. Nothing quite captures the "geese are cunts" quite like this.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 16:58

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

sir this is an Arby's drive through

# ? Dec 21, 2018 17:10

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Username post combo

# ? Dec 21, 2018 17:35

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

# I killed a goose today / oh boy
# kicked out it's guts and beak and poop and skin

# ? Dec 21, 2018 17:40

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Just having an extremely normal one, telling the Help Desk Ticket thread about that time I kicked a bird to death

# ? Dec 21, 2018 17:54

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Conceal/carry due to geese.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 18:03

terrenblade: Oct 29, 2012

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

Doing ~~God's work~~ the needful.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 18:38

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

it's always a pain when vague problems aren't solved by a reboot.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 19:04

The Fool: Oct 16, 2003

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

geese.txt

# ? Dec 21, 2018 19:05

vibur: Apr 23, 2004

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

sir this is an Arby's drive through

Well, that explains the feces.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 19:13

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Ghostlight posted:

it's always a pain when vague problems aren't solved by a reboot.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 19:21

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

vibur posted:

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:
sir this is an Arby's drive through

Well, that explains the feces.

My god I love this thread.

Ghostlight posted:

it's always a pain when vague problems aren't solved by a reboot.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 19:27

Relyssa: Jul 29, 2012

A ticket came in regarding setting up SSO integration for a client:

quote:

The XML file provided by the customer is: https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/active-directory/saas-apps/fuze-tutorial#configuring-azure-ad-single-sign-on

# ? Dec 21, 2018 20:26

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

vibur posted:

Well, that explains the feces.

Perfect.

# ? Dec 21, 2018 23:54

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fEj8y14FdM

# ? Dec 22, 2018 00:38

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

vibur posted:

Well, that explains the feces.

Reading this in the judge�s voice from My Cousin Vinny.

# ? Dec 22, 2018 03:09

Nucken Futz: Oct 30, 2010; by Reene

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

That story is solid.
My hat is off to you.

# ? Dec 22, 2018 06:51

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

Sickening posted:

I killed a goose this year because it had this unquenchable desire to attack my daughter while we at the park.

Kicking the poo poo out if it more than once was not enough to persuade the drat thing. It even had the audacity to keep ignoring me and charging her. I am no professional kicker by any means but a person knows when they have kicked something squarely with all its might and I did it a few times. The drat thing was a terminator.

The drat thing was incredible tough to kill. Grabbing it by the neck and stomping it out should have been a simple thing for a bird. The amount feathers, blood, and feces that came out of this thing was insane. The scratches I sustained was not irrelevant either. My child goes from being terrified of being attacked to terrified that I am going full murder machine. It was no a no win.

From now on I see them at a distance I am just avoiding them.

Hi you sound like a psychopath. Maybe next time just leave??

# ? Dec 22, 2018 18:01

Captainsalami: Apr 16, 2010; I told you you'd pay!

Can we change the thread title to RE: A Ticket Came In - I killed a goose this year?

# ? Dec 22, 2018 18:13

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

Darkman Fanpage posted:

Hi you sound like a psychopath. Maybe next time just leave??

Its almost like the quote answers the question.

# ? Dec 22, 2018 18:29

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Darkman Fanpage posted:

Hi you sound like a psychopath. Maybe next time just leave??

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah a dad protecting a small child is a psychopath. gently caress off.

Those shits chase after you and can move faster than you can run.

# ? Dec 22, 2018 22:08

BlankSystemDaemon: Mar 13, 2009

Proteus Jones posted:

Those shits chase after you and can move faster than you can run.

Michael Crichton was right all along.

# ? Dec 23, 2018 00:14

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

nielsm posted:

I researched this when we were having massive issues with literally hundreds of profiles left over from nurses etc. logging on shared workstations, filling up tiny 128 GB SSDs. A script to quickly clean up profiles not used for a long time solves 90% of those issues.

As a secondary note, the best way to get the "last used" date for a user profile is to check the modified time of NTUSER.DAT in the root of the profile dir. The Win32_UserProfile object itself can't really be trusted for that, the last use dates can get updated by various Windows updates/other servicing too. Checking the date on NTUSER.DAT generally gets you the last time that profile was genuinely logged on.

That used to work, but I've found that to be unreliable under Win10. I've seen profiles for people who've left that I know haven't been logged into where the NTUSER.DAT has newer dates than it should have. I don't know that it can happen the other way, so it's probably still fine for a script to delete old profiles, it just won't get all the ones that it should.

The Fool posted:

An e-mail came in:

Man, all we get is homeless junkies pooping in our parking lots.

# ? Dec 23, 2018 00:54

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Darkman Fanpage posted:

Hi you sound like a psychopath. Maybe next time just leave??

You've obviously never dealt with geese.
MY grandmother took me to feed the ducks by the pond once. ONCE.
As soon as she busted out the bread we were swarmed. I was completely overrun and disappeared into a sea of geese. She went into full on grandmother mode flailing her purse and umbrella like a goddamn ninja tornado knocking geese flying in an explosion of feathers. Those assholes chased us all the way across the park back to the car, throwing themselves against the windows in a fury of feathers and goose poo poo.

I learned 2 things that day: 1) geese are assholes and 2) never gently caress with grandma.

# ? Dec 23, 2018 04:52

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 14:56

Carth Dookie: Jan 28, 2013

Your grandma was better than my ex wife's. She used her only grandson as a human shield when they were attacked by a goose.

# ? Dec 23, 2018 13:51

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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