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Oliver, I know the discovery that lifting then dropping your automatic feeder just so would occasionally reward you with delicious kitty kibble was revelatory. I'm sure it was frustrating when I built a wooden base for it, and velcroed that poo poo to the ground. But cat, how in the gently caress did you get it into your fluffy little brain that trying to knock over the water fountain was the second best thing? The apartment has nice hardwood floors you little rear end, and I'd rather not lose my security deposit to water damage. Are you REALLY going to force me to go back to the hardware store? Cute little fucker. 
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Dec 16, 2018 21:25
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DrHammond posted:Oliver, I know the discovery that lifting then dropping your automatic feeder just so would occasionally reward you with delicious kitty kibble was revelatory. I'm sure it was frustrating when I built a wooden base for it, and velcroed that poo poo to the ground. But cat, how in the gently caress did you get it into your fluffy little brain that trying to knock over the water fountain was the second best thing? He'll eventually flop on your lap, on his back, and you will give him tummy rubs and forget all about it. He is a rag doll afterall 
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Dec 16, 2018 21:32
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iospace posted:He'll eventually flop on your lap, on his back, and you will give him tummy rubs and forget all about it. He refuses to actually sit in laps, but will lay right next to you no problemo... So yes, accurate.
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Dec 16, 2018 21:46
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DrHammond posted:Oliver, I know the discovery that lifting then dropping your automatic feeder just so would occasionally reward you with delicious kitty kibble was revelatory. I'm sure it was frustrating when I built a wooden base for it, and velcroed that poo poo to the ground. But cat, how in the gently caress did you get it into your fluffy little brain that trying to knock over the water fountain was the second best thing? The photogenic little bastard looks like he knows EXACTLY how handsome he is and how to weaponize his looks to get out of trouble.
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Dec 17, 2018 05:11
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Neddy Seagoon posted:The photogenic little bastard looks like he knows EXACTLY how handsome he is and how to weaponize his looks to get out of trouble. 
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Dec 17, 2018 15:57
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Porthos, you have never ever done the whole "desperate paws under the door" thing before in your life, that the gently caress. I'm poopin', go away.
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Dec 17, 2018 16:26
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:TIGER: Meow I miss my little country cat from years ago who used to fight ferals all the time and win. Don't mess with a Manx.
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Dec 19, 2018 13:44
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Bust Rodd posted:Android, I have a lot of love for you. I was having some really good sex and a cat comes in and lets out a huuuuuge MRRRREEEEOOOOOWWWWW. Yeah that killed the mood. Though one time I ruined the mood by reaching over the guy and petting my tiny adorable cat (runt of the littler) and I guess both of us ruined the mood. Here's the little adorable bastard stealing Chester's spot: 
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Dec 23, 2018 18:09
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In the spirit of the season, let's have a holiday helldump, complete with forgiveness for our terrible pets Odin, you awful gently caress. I know you're part maine coon, so the maine coon sized dumps are to be expected, but the smell. I have smelled the poo poo of a thousand cats at the pet shelter and yours doesn't even smell like poo poo. It's an entirely new class of horrifying odor. And you don't even cover it up you lazy bastard. But hey, at least you're getting it all in the box now so thanks buddy  And your bestie covers it up for you like a weirdo. Which brings us to: Lasciel, I wish you weren't such a worthless lazy poo poo. All you do is eat, sleep, and torment the other cats when it suits your capricious whims. And stop eating plastic, that's weird you're weird. I love how you keep purring for like an hour after I stop petting you sweetie.  And little miss new girl on the block Mikasa, complete with terrifying meow and constant demands that the faucet be on for you, aren't you just so, so very special. Lasciel and Odin had a nice little pecking order where Odin did everything lash said, and you've hosed it all up now. You somehow rule the living room, but not the food bowl? Who the gently caress is the alpha here anyway? Who am I kidding, the screeching is endearing, cutie-pie. Vanadium Dame fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Dec 24, 2018 |
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Dec 24, 2018 20:22
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sweet, perfect cats of mine: im glad you're such good friends but please stop wrestling on the bed next to my face at 3am
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Dec 27, 2018 04:09
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Werong Bustope posted:sweet, perfect cats of mine: im glad you're such good friends but please stop wrestling on the bed next to my face at 3am How else are you going to officiate and declare a winner?? 
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Dec 27, 2018 04:12
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 Mika you were so cute and pretty when you wanted to sleep in my lap last night. So why the gently caress did you decide to start crying at 5 AM you little poo poo???
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Jan 14, 2019 12:51
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 gently caress you!!!
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Jan 14, 2019 12:52
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Lightning Knight posted:
Cats.
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Jan 14, 2019 15:25
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iospace posted:Cats. This. Did you make the mistake of leaving a door shut, anywhere in the house?
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Jan 18, 2019 16:47
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Erisian Automata posted:This. Did you make the mistake of leaving a door shut, anywhere in the house? No, I didn't! All the doors were open. She did it for several nights in a row. My parents left and now she doesn't do it anymore so idk whatever the gently caress. 
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Jan 18, 2019 17:43
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Lightning Knight posted:No, I didn't! All the doors were open. She did it for several nights in a row. iospace posted:Cats.
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Jan 18, 2019 17:48
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Our elderly cat has been doing that every single night for months- vet says that old cats get lost easily. How can a cat that's barely self-aware go senile?
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Jan 18, 2019 19:52
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Both my cats like to just stand in the hallway and yell at 2am until I call them into my room. The door isn't closed or anything, and they both pop in and out of the bedroom at all other times without issue. For some reason, 2am = invitation required. They're lucky I'm an insomniac.
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Jan 18, 2019 20:28
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Werong Bustope posted:Both my cats like to just stand in the hallway and yell at 2am until I call them into my room. The door isn't closed or anything, and they both pop in and out of the bedroom at all other times without issue. For some reason, 2am = invitation required. They're lucky I'm an insomniac. Your cats are vampires at 2 am.
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Jan 18, 2019 20:52
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yeah 2 of our 3 do that. i usually just yell at them to shut the gently caress up
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Jan 18, 2019 22:16
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 Mika you little brat, you hide all day and get mad when you aren’t allowed to do so. What will you do when we get a second cat? You’ll be so loving owned.
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Jan 19, 2019 02:13
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Werong Bustope posted:Both my cats like to just stand in the hallway and yell at 2am until I call them into my room. The door isn't closed or anything, and they both pop in and out of the bedroom at all other times without issue. For some reason, 2am = invitation required. They're lucky I'm an insomniac. They maybe did it once, you called them, and now continue the ritual like superstitious gamblers who won big after standing on one foot and whistling or whatever. Wouldn't be the first time someone accidentally trained an animal to do something obnoxious.
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Jan 20, 2019 07:41
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Blue Footed Booby posted:They maybe did it once, you called them, and now continue the ritual like superstitious gamblers who won big after standing on one foot and whistling or whatever. Wouldn't be the first time someone accidentally trained an animal to do something obnoxious. I will admit, I am 100% complicit in my cats being spoilt little assholes and I have no regrets.
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Jan 20, 2019 23:22
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It's official we picked up our guy who had been missing for 2 years the other night. The people that found him had been feeding him outside for almost a year. They definitely have seen our other missing boy around too so we're going to put up flyers around the neighborhood. We had pretty much given up on every seeing them again. He's currently chilling upstairs away from the other cats. He's eaten food drank water and used the litter box. He just needs a little time to de-stress. He's so much bigger now! He was only just about 2 when he went missing. Very skinny and long now he looks like a line backer. E:Whoops wrong thread should have gone in the general cat thread. To make it relevant: ET you were missing over 2 years we were worried sick you dumb idiot. Thumposaurus fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Jan 21, 2019 |
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Jan 21, 2019 22:07
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 terra you are extremely cute, I almost can't believe how adorable you are sometimes. That being said, I'd really appreciate it if you could stop masturbating on my bookshelf, it's weird and makes me uncomfortable, at least wank in your cage like most parrots do so I don't have to see it!
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Jan 21, 2019 23:13
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So I, uh I didn’t know birds could masturbate. I guess you learn something new every day. 
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Jan 21, 2019 23:37
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Got a new puppy yesterday and the first thing he does this morning as I sit down to work is try and strangle himself on the only exposed cord he could find 
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Jan 22, 2019 17:11
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uhm i believe you need to picture tax that poo poo pal.
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Jan 23, 2019 00:08
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Mr. Crow posted:Got a new puppy yesterday and the first thing he does this morning as I sit down to work is try and strangle himself on the only exposed cord he could find Puppies are such a wonderful mix of dumb-as-hell and quick-to-learn smart. I love that moment when they figure out a new trick/command, and then immediately afterward run directly into a wall. Also there’s a picture tax on puppies. Pay it pal.
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Jan 23, 2019 01:20
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Xenomrph posted:So I, uh they can and do, quite a lot! I'm no biologist but I think it's because they're smart enough to realise that it's fun so why wait for mating when you can just do it yourself?
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Jan 23, 2019 09:46
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Oops! He's such a goober  
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Jan 23, 2019 17:47
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We wanted a puppy, not that perfect caramel colored teddy bear! I...wait... awwww
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Jan 23, 2019 18:37
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Aaaaaa he looks so soft 
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Jan 24, 2019 02:22
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Kelly, you gdb, quit taking my food. This is my deli sandwich and if you keep on stealing my food I’m going to leave you at the shelter, the only reason we keep you here is cause of a little girl. A little girl. You don’t even have puppies  you’re the cause of most of my problems kelly
unidef freeman fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Feb 12, 2019 |
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Feb 12, 2019 13:01
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unidef freeman posted:Kelly, you gdb, quit taking my food. This is my deli sandwich and if you keep on stealing my food I’m going to leave you at the shelter, the only reason we keep you here is cause of a little girl. A little girl. You don’t even have puppies Isn’t it bad enough we feed you lamb and beef shanks? Why do you have to steal my food? I’m disabled and it’s a pita driving 20 minutes TO GET A loving SANDWICH, kelly. You think sandwiches grow on trees? When you wake up I’m just going to put my hand above your head and pretend you’re worthy of ms kitties place Kelly is a chihuahua terrier we spent loving 500 on. She is an og, my brother and his friends taught her how to nod her head when we walk by unidef freeman fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Feb 12, 2019 |
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Feb 12, 2019 13:12
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This idiot likes to try and sleep my head. Had to take him to the e-vet today. You better be all right you stupid goddamn cat. edit: Turned out to be nothing super serious. He is now zooming around banging into walls and doors trying to get his cone of shame off. Goddamn idiot. ohnobugs fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Mar 4, 2019 |
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Mar 3, 2019 22:17
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Had our first puppy groom today, I just can't get over his stupid had floof I crack up Everytime I look at him  
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Mar 22, 2019 04:44
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What is your deal Donna? I can go on vacation for a week and you'll act like I never left but I spend a minute taking out the trash and you're hissing and yowling at me like I'm a complete stranger.
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Mar 27, 2019 18:59
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I was in a rush for work so I didn't think to acquire the imagery necessary for the Thread Photo Tax, but dammit Taz - why did you need to throw up on the rug?! I mean, I could forgive it if you had vomited on the rug while I wasn't around, but I simply cannot forgive it when you went out of your way to vomit on the rug! Since I pulled you off it (which isn't easy, as Taz is a greyhound) so that you could throw up onto the floor. But noooo, at the last possible second you turn your head and vomit over your shoulder, onto the rug. Great.
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Apr 1, 2019 00:48
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