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OWLS!
Sep 17, 2009

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuL5yXsOAIA

Oh, there's a scifiish movie out in theaters that isn't Star Trekwars or based on a comic book. Will anybody watch it? gently caress no. But as the resident "gently caress you this movie deserves a thread and you're all bad for not watching it" poster, gently caress you, this movie deserves a thread, and you're probably bad for not at least giving it a shot.

IN A WORLD that is basically mad max but with the cars scaled up to city scale you don't have predators, you have loving predator cities quite literally consuming each other and crawling the landscape in search of prey. Directed by some guy that Peter Jackson is friends with with Jackson serving as producer, and featuring Hugo Weaving chewing up the scenery as the main villain.

Went to check this out yesterday at the pre-release screen, thought it was fantastic. It's probably going to bomb hard, considering the entire lack of hype around it, and the concept being generally too weird. Also the atmosphere is really really quite bleak, nevermind the fact that Weta is going nuts all over the screen. Even the few silly jokes that the movie made were actually a nice contrast, considering the world shown is quite literally a post apocalyptic hellhole, and literally everybody in the story is a massive, probably irredeemable rear end in a top hat.

Third act was a little rushed, and for the first time in my life I will say that this is the one movie that needed to have less cut out of it. Extended three hours+ edition please, Peter Jackson's friend. Because I'm about 99% convinced that we will never get a sequel, and honestly I'm almost fine with that.

OWLS! fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Dec 14, 2018

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Cicadalek
May 8, 2006

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, talentless fuckfest, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another
I think my opinion of this was a bit colored by having read the books growing up. They definitely sanitized it a bit and generally the tone is a lot less bleak. Overall I think they didn't do a bad job, but there was some clunky dialogue and incredibly unsubtle foreshadowing ( why is Tom showing off a superweapon killswitch ten minutes into the movie

I would have liked to have seen a bit more of the cities themselves, and it's a shame we don't get to see more of London, but it's understandably difficult for a movie to have both the rambling adventure outside and the slow-burning mystery inside London that the books have.

One thing I was confused by is Shrike's entire intro scene. I think the whole prison scene is not in the books. I know it's supposed to build up the big scary terminator for his introduction, but I feel like the books handled it better - he just loving shows up screaming HESTER SHAW and Hester is like "oh yeah I have a robot zombie stalker btw".

And then Valentine blows up the prison, which I feel like would do the opposite of covering up his past. Was that London's prison? Won't someone notice?


At least they showed off Shrike's creepy doll collection which i was personally hyped for.

Strom Cuzewon
Jul 1, 2010

This film was an absolute loving mess, but I enjoyed every second. Hugo Weaving owns, sexy kung fu aviatrix owns, zombie step dad owns.

The auswitz imagery is in shockingly poor taste for a rollicking YA adventure, and the constant swirling camera is just awful. But I was never bored, so it's miles ahead of the Hobbit.

banned from Starbucks
Jul 18, 2004




what is this movie actually about? Ive been burned by the Monsters type advertising before [great concept, total trash story hidden within].
edit nvm teaser was sorta interesting but full trailer looks bad

banned from Starbucks fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Dec 16, 2018

Cicadalek
May 8, 2006

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, talentless fuckfest, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another

Strom Cuzewon posted:

This film was an absolute loving mess, but I enjoyed every second. Hugo Weaving owns, sexy kung fu aviatrix owns, zombie step dad owns.

The auswitz imagery is in shockingly poor taste for a rollicking YA adventure, and the constant swirling camera is just awful. But I was never bored, so it's miles ahead of the Hobbit.

I think the immigration scene is more a dig at ICE than anything else. The sequence itself is straight out of the books, but the announcement about child separation isn't.

It's an early indicator for a young adult audience that the Municipal Darwinism stuff is not actually in everyone's best interest. It's interesting how it comes across today given the books were written like 20 years ago

Amethyst
Mar 28, 2004

I CANNOT HELP BUT MAKE THE DCSS THREAD A FETID SWAMP OF UNFUN POSTING
plz notice me trunk-senpai
This movie about steampunk moving cities is a massive flop.

$7.5m opening weekend on a $100m+ budget

:negative:

Milkfred E. Moore
Aug 27, 2006

'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'
Can't say I'm surprised. This film has seemed just too weird and out there from the very first trailers. "We were running out of resources so we put our cities on wheels and now they eat each other" is a concept that most people aren't going to suspend disbelief for. The other problem is that it seems to be running up against a lot of films with more momentum behind them.

Inspector Gesicht
Oct 26, 2012

500 Zeus a body.


I read the book series back in the day. Very hardcore with a huge body-count. Actually held my interest unlike losing me like the ever-indulgent Harry Potter. I'm not surprised this is flopping because it yet another Part 1 of a movie epic series that will never be completed. It doesn't help that the promo for this is one tired Peter Jackson compared to six Spider-people.

Gimmedaroot
Aug 10, 2006

America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.
-Barack Obama

Inspector Gesicht posted:

I read the book series back in the day. Very hardcore with a huge body-count. Actually held my interest unlike losing me like the ever-indulgent Harry Potter. I'm not surprised this is flopping because it yet another Part 1 of a movie epic series that will never be completed. It doesn't help that the promo for this is one tired Peter Jackson compared to six Spider-people.

Why is Peter Jackson tired now? did he just complete a new Tin Tin sequel that we don't know about?

And I thought the fact that this was semi-pushed as steampunk would be enough to get hardcore steampunk geeks in droves. I know too many Ren faire people who dropped Ren faire/fantasy for steampunk cosplay because they thought Jackson, GRRM, and D&D 5th Edition ruined their little niche by overcrowding it and/or giving fantasy a more diverse fandom.

The REAL Goobusters
Apr 25, 2008

Amethyst posted:

This movie about steampunk moving cities is a massive flop.

$7.5m opening weekend on a $100m+ budget

:negative:

I mean yeah it looks boring from the trailers imo. I saw a trailer on a youtube ad and it felt like some random trash.

Cicadalek
May 8, 2006

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, talentless fuckfest, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another
The mobile cities take too much of a backseat to the by-the-numbers drama, I think. I'm rereading the books after watching this, and the world is more fleshed out. You hear about lots of other cities even though the character's din't visit them. In the movie it's London, Salthook, and a couple of tiny towns.

The books hold up pretty well. And yeah as mentioned there is a LOT more death in the books. But it makes thematic sense for things to be bleak. Cities eating cities is obviously unsustainable and the violence of the books reflects it.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Amethyst posted:

This movie about steampunk moving cities is a massive flop.

$7.5m opening weekend on a $100m+ budget

:negative:

drat, who could've predicted this

I think this movie is a money laundering scheme

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

Strom Cuzewon posted:

This film was an absolute loving mess, but I enjoyed every second. Hugo Weaving owns, sexy kung fu aviatrix owns, zombie step dad owns.

Absolutely this. Just got back from seeing it, and loving loved it to bits, despite rolling my eyes, turning to my wife, both agape, and laughing with her in exasperation at how on the nose and trite some of the dialogue is. "THIS DOLL HAS NO HEART (turns to camera, winks at audience, shits pants) LIIIKKKKEEE MMMMEEEEE!!" etc. It's loving gorgeous, more visually interesting than whatever's gonna win a cinematography Oscar, so many cool ideas. It's almost exactly like if Star Wars was written instead by a bunch of kids playing make believe.

!Klams fucked around with this message at 23:21 on Dec 17, 2018

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009

Amethyst posted:

This movie about steampunk moving cities is a massive flop.

$7.5m opening weekend on a $100m+ budget

:negative:

Terrible reviews, too.

Casual film fan question: Why would they give a $100m+ budgeted movie like this to such an inexperienced director?

Amethyst
Mar 28, 2004

I CANNOT HELP BUT MAKE THE DCSS THREAD A FETID SWAMP OF UNFUN POSTING
plz notice me trunk-senpai

Sucrose posted:

Terrible reviews, too.

Casual film fan question: Why would they give a $100m+ budgeted movie like this to such an inexperienced director?

Peter Jackson was owed a favor for destroying his body and soul making The Hobbit.

Doctor Malaver
May 23, 2007

Ce qui s'est passé t'a rendu plus fort
I liked the first half. The cities were really interesting (I'd play a computer or board game in that setting) and the plot looked promising. It was subversive, original, weird. Like something Terry Gilliam would make.

The second half was horrible, though. The characters, who weren't very strong to begin with, become completely one dimensional. It's all stereotypes and cliches, to the point some scenes seemed taken verbatim from other movies. I felt stupid and wanted it to end sooner. No idea why they didn't make a shorter movie and get rid of some characters. It would make more sense and cost less.

Happy Underpants
Jul 23, 2007
I'm a really big fan of the opening sequence to "Robot Carnival," does this movies have many goofy city on city fight scenes?

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

Doctor Malaver posted:

I liked the first half. The cities were really interesting (I'd play a computer or board game in that setting) and the plot looked promising. It was subversive, original, weird. Like something Terry Gilliam would make.

The second half was horrible, though. The characters, who weren't very strong to begin with, become completely one dimensional. It's all stereotypes and cliches, to the point some scenes seemed taken verbatim from other movies. I felt stupid and wanted it to end sooner. No idea why they didn't make a shorter movie and get rid of some characters. It would make more sense and cost less.

I did think a few times, it would have made a MUCH better computer game than a movie. The pacing between set pieces, the lack of internally consistent logic, the flatness of the characters, all would have made more sense if it was an unchartered-like game.

I thought it was especially bizarre, on reflection, how in a movie about 'cities that drive around everywhere' they went almost out of their way to make the cities feel about the same size as a ship? At no point did I get a sense of scale of anything other than like, the Titanic cruising around picking up fishing trawlers. I guess this makes it all a lot easier to shoot, because you just shoot a movie about a ship that eats boats, (jettison the 'catch', we need more speed) and then change the CG, and you don't have to actually think about how it would actually work at all. Which is a shame, because man, what a crazy idea.

Ema Nymton
Apr 26, 2008

the place where I come from
is a small town
Buglord

The REAL Goobusters posted:

I mean yeah it looks boring from the trailers imo. I saw a trailer on a youtube ad and it felt like some random trash.

I agree. I don't understand why,. but every video I saw for it online made me totally disinterested. I want there to be new IPs in movies but I just can't get excited for this. :geno:

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?
It was worth a watch, since the cinema I went to today didn't have Bumblebee on yet. Quite by-the-numbers at times, and not much city-on-city action at all. Second half felt quite Final Fantasy with the airships, a guy cos playing as FF7's Cid, 9's South Gate, Sister Ray on top of Midgar, and the "What have we done" was so bad it was like the baddie's similar line in Spirits Within.

Cicadalek
May 8, 2006

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, talentless fuckfest, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another

!Klams posted:

I did think a few times, it would have made a MUCH better computer game than a movie. The pacing between set pieces, the lack of internally consistent logic, the flatness of the characters, all would have made more sense if it was an unchartered-like game.

I thought the same thing after seeing the movie. I remember when i read the original books I thought it would be a cool strategy game where you eat smaller towns to upgrade your own etc.

Nowadays I think I would prefer a Bioshock style game, some action with a focus on narrative and exploration. Maybe you could be an Anti-Traction League spy infiltrating various cities. Or you could play a stalker, for a more Wolfenstein style experience.

Although I think my dream game would be a Freelancer style game where you play an aviator and you fly all over the world trading and taking jobs. Cities are constantly moving around and eating each other, and you can influence what happens depending on the jobs you take. Or you can just explored the wastes looking for old-tech.

comedy option: a very, very ambitious Cities: Skylines mod.

Willeh
Jun 25, 2003

God hates a coward

More like Mortal Anginas

Jonas Albrecht
Jun 7, 2012


Happy Underpants posted:

I'm a really big fan of the opening sequence to "Robot Carnival," does this movies have many goofy city on city fight scenes?

It doesn't, and that's definitely the movie's biggest failure. We get one really fun chase in the beginning, and then the premise stops mattering entirely. My bar was set all the way down to "I just want to see city themed landships duke it out" and the movie couldn't even deliver on that.

Vitamin P
Nov 19, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 13 days!
Is there any reason why only like 6 cinemas in the UK decided to show this?

Strom Cuzewon
Jul 1, 2010

Cicadalek posted:

I think the immigration scene is more a dig at ICE than anything else. The sequence itself is straight out of the books, but the announcement about child separation isn't.

It's an early indicator for a young adult audience that the Municipal Darwinism stuff is not actually in everyone's best interest. It's interesting how it comes across today given the books were written like 20 years ago

It was the giant metal arch welcoming then in that made me uncomfortable.

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?

Vitamin P posted:

Is there any reason why only like 6 cinemas in the UK decided to show this?

Dunno but there was only 3 other people at the showing I went to

Power of Pecota
Aug 4, 2007

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

Bevis Pod

Cicadalek
May 8, 2006

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, talentless fuckfest, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another
I laughed a lot at his intro scene. goodbye, tiny colin farrel

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Jonas Albrecht posted:

It doesn't, and that's definitely the movie's biggest failure. We get one really fun chase in the beginning, and then the premise stops mattering entirely. My bar was set all the way down to "I just want to see city themed landships duke it out" and the movie couldn't even deliver on that.

I agree. The best part of the concept is cities chasing down smaller cities and eating them. They could have had a lot of other real life cities reimagined as traction cities. But instead the story takes place in the twilight of municipal Darwinism where all the good cities have already been eaten and it makes a lot more sense for the survivors to stay small and flexible.

Question: Did Hester sabotage the Salthook's engines? I didn't hear it explicitly mentioned, but given that she was trying to find a way to get onto London and the mining town she was on conveniently had trouble getting moving suggests that she surreptitiously stuck a potato in the tailpipe or something to stall them.

dmboogie
Oct 4, 2013

I haven’t seen the movie but I was a fan of the book and immediately lost all faith when I saw the “Hester can’t be scarred because she needs to be relatable” poo poo

do Bevis and Katherine actually live in the movie? if so, for the love of god, why?

Unoriginal Name
Aug 1, 2006

by sebmojo
needed less Terminators, or more Terminators

Jonas Albrecht
Jun 7, 2012


Unoriginal Name posted:

needed less Terminators, or more Terminators

Thank god that robot was in the movie to tell the lead she was in love with human drywall.

zer0spunk
Nov 6, 2000

devil never even lived
The guy next to me fell asleep pretty fast, he was the smartest person in the room.

At least the visuals were cool.

Reading about how the book ends vs the movie's complete opposite take I think it could have been a much better movie if they kept it bleak as gently caress. Also, I think it's the first time I ever thought "hmm maybe the rating system in america being skewed to demonize sex and glorify violence is a wee bit broken" proceeding a character blowing a dudes head off with a shotgun in this pg-13 movie.

e: it also didn't help that I saw this meme like 5 minutes before this movie started.

zer0spunk fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Dec 30, 2018

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

by Lowtax

zer0spunk posted:

Also, I think it's the first time I ever thought "hmm maybe the rating system in america being skewed to demonize sex and glorify violence is a wee bit broken" proceeding a character blowing a dudes head off with a shotgun in this pg-13 movie.

Yes, if there's one place that needs to spend less time demonizing sex in its childrens media institutions its the country that gave us Jimmy Seville and has spent the past few years making Paedogeddon into a documentary.

Also the people praising/defending the book early in this thread cite the fact that it has a ton of violence and huge bodycount as positives so it's obviously working for some people and also directly from the (non-American) source material.

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

Guy Mann posted:

Yes, if there's one place that needs to spend less time demonizing sex in its childrens media institutions its the country that gave us Jimmy Seville and has spent the past few years making Paedogeddon into a documentary.

Yeah, because everyone knows when you stigmatize sex to children, that makes for less pedophiles.... what? I guess maybe it's not super clear to Americans (or, non BRITISH-PAEDOPH-ISLES citizens) that our problem has always been 'no sex please, I'm British'. It's not at all the same thing as the puritanical 'demonization' that you have, where it's decried and called disgusting and abhorrent to God or whatever. No, what we have is just a quiet 'tut', and everyone turning to look the other way if someone asks where babies come from, with a dutiful scolding glance from the Matron of the situation. I guess it's like, a holdover from the Victorian sensibilities, :decorum:. It means that there's basically no education on the matter, except from media. It is of zero surprise then that we have basically the highest teen pregnancy of anywhere. Like I get that it's not just sex on screen that's going to remedy this, but the whole PAEDOGEDDON thing is very obviously related; one of the biggest revelations about it all was just how well known about it was, but no one said anything. "You just didn't talk about it". That's our whole problem right there, we're super afraid to talk about any of it. Stiff upper lip, keep calm and carry on n all that. (Think of England!) I think that part of changing that would be to admit that maybe someone having their head blown off with a shotgun is actually 'more' taboo than having sex.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Strom Cuzewon posted:

This film was an absolute loving mess, but I enjoyed every

second. Hugo Weaving owns, sexy kung fu aviatrix owns, zombie step dad owns.

Not a good sign for your hundreds of million dollar blockbuster: CineD hasn't even hit page 2 and it's almost out of theaters entirely.

!Klams posted:

Yeah, because everyone knows when you stigmatize sex to children, that makes for less pedophiles.... what? I guess maybe it's not super clear to Americans (or, non BRITISH-PAEDOPH-ISLES citizens) that our problem has always been 'no sex please, I'm British'. It's not at all the same thing as the puritanical 'demonization' that you have, where it's decried and called disgusting and abhorrent to God or whatever. No, what we have is just a quiet 'tut', and everyone turning to look the other way if someone asks where babies come from, with a dutiful scolding glance from the Matron of the situation. I guess it's like, a holdover from the Victorian sensibilities, :decorum:. It means that there's basically no education on the matter, except from media. It is of zero surprise then that we have basically the highest teen pregnancy of anywhere. Like I get that it's not just sex on screen that's going to remedy this, but the whole PAEDOGEDDON thing is very obviously related; one of the biggest revelations about it all was just how well known about it was, but no one said anything. "You just didn't talk about it". That's our whole problem right there, we're super afraid to talk about any of it. Stiff upper lip, keep calm and carry on n all that. (Think of England!) I think that part of changing that would be to admit that maybe someone having their head blown off with a shotgun is actually 'more' taboo than having sex.

What in God's name are you blathering about?

I'm voting the thread change it's title to 'Mortal Engines: the whole PAEDOGEDDON thing is very obviously related' in honor of this post

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad

Blazing Ownager posted:

Not a good sign for your hundreds of million dollar blockbuster: CineD hasn't even hit page 2 and it's almost out of theaters entirely.


What in God's name are you blathering about?

I'm voting the thread change it's title to 'Mortal Engines: the whole PAEDOGEDDON thing is very obviously related' in honor of this post

Hahaha, yeah, sorry, I had just had coffee and was typing incredibly emphatically. Of course the movie had nothing to do with pedo, I meant the lack of communication around sex was related. I don't think the movie really cares much for social commentary much at all beyond the "separating kids at the border" comment, which is rare (lazy?) for a YA movie. It almost says something about colonialism = bad and dropping the bomb on Hiroshima was a bit much, but, doesn't even really get that far.

/edit: oh also if you're not familiar with Brass Eye then my post comes across even more insane?

!Klams fucked around with this message at 15:05 on Dec 31, 2018

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
Did they keep the part where London's excrement is experimentally repurposed as food and served for the upper classes?

Doorknob Slobber
Sep 10, 2006

by Fluffdaddy
worst loving movie hoooly poo poo

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Camel Camus
Jun 16, 2009

Mais, non, je suis fantastique!

I never read the books but this movie was good when it leaned into the weird poo poo and took chances. Monster truck cities are novel and fun. Zombie robot dad chucking dudes through the floor was amazing. The entire by the books action film final confrontation was boring as hell and hard to keep watching.

If it had kept up the straight faced camp throughout and spiced up the main characters a bit it would have been something special.

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